Heart of Space

Got some responses for any questions coming later guys. I'm working right now, so just be patient. I'd really like to answer any response adequately with a keyboard so I can fully communicate. And please I would ask for no hatred and homophobia in the thread. I can't stop you, I'm just asking.

Yea, it's a long story honestly. However, I am legitimately a chemist making six figures. I'm bisexual, although prefer women. You don't have to believe it, but what I'm saying in this particular thread is true. It really wasn't a brag, more just helping to give context. I just wanted people to understand that I'm well respected in society, I'm not some homeless mentally ill kook. If you saw me at the bar you'd think I was a white guy that comes from an upper class lifestyle, because I do. It makes the fact that I'm cursed more interesting because I'm a normal intelligent western man. Whatever you choose to accept is fine. And no I wouldn't suck Conor Murphy's dick because he is a narcissistic jerk at times. That's a huge turn off.

I had a vision of someone else's hell state or nightmare state that was shown to me in a vision just now as I lie down for bed. It was a strange psychedelic alien realm where the person was stuck in some sort of metallic body suite coffin that consumed their body and suffocated them. Fascinating and very spooky. I wonder who shared that with me if anyone here. I could feel their struggle and panic, must have been an extremely difficult experience. @JuliusCaesarI'm on a tight schedule, I'll give you a more in depth response tomorrow on the computer. Must sleep now. Thank you.

I can only speculate how the curse began and to be honest I have a pretty long winded analysis that would include many possible variables. The short answer is that it is the confluence of many factors including but not limited to; 1. Psychedelic use 2. Desire for death due to extreme suffering, intense suicidiality (Do not be alarmed I am fine with zero intentions to self-harm) 3. Spiritual practice to a relatively intense degree at times, vipassana retreats, 8 day fasting, intense prayer 4. Listening to Spiritual content and teachers All lead to not exactly a curse, but a life of constant mystical phenomenon that often takes curse like properties. Hopefully this helps you understand me a bit more. (Stuck on the mobile device again, so I'm limited in typing speed)

I'm truly not all that offended, it was just unnecessary for you to refer to the post as comical and most likley only served to make you feel superior. You are talking down to me and telling me my perspective is laughable. Which might imply you have an inferiority complex, otherwise you wouldn't feel the need to include that. I mean are you really on the other side of the internet laughing out loud at my posts as you school me on why I'm wrong? The idea makes you seem very silly if you picture it. Honestly man I love your Morpheous look. I need me some glasses like that and maybe I'll be laughing as hard as you about internet posts. I don't have any bad intention, aside from joshin you a little bit. I appreciate it if you are on some level genuinely trying to be helpful. ?

You said my post was comical, implying you were laughing at me from a place of superior understanding. Insulting just seems like an accurate descriptor, we don't have to get lost in the minutia of the nature of the mind and its tendency of projecting meaning onto reality in order to call something Insulting. If someone called you an idiot it is appropriate to say that's insulting. You aren't confucius, dawg, sometimes a spade is just a spade. You can basically discredit everyone by saying that all meaning is created by the mind, but then why even communicate?

Yea, that's been a concern too. I've definitely heard many times that supernatural powers are an aside and should not be pursued. At best they're a distraction. I pray a lot and set an intention of purity, whatever form that may take. I also try to fully let go my desire for this power of clairvoyance. Like I try to be at peace with not having it and I feel like I mostly am. Good post, thanks for thought and reminding me of something important.

@amanenThank you for your post, I appreciate your thoughts, genuinely.

I mean it's pretty interesting and cool to get foreknowledge of the future. So I guess that's enjoyment on some level. The problem is everything else that comes with it, basically profound psychological torture at times? That's what I really don't enjoy. I'll take the magical super powers any day of the week, but if it comes with the curse like properties I'd throw those abilities down the fucking drain in two seconds.

Just for the record prior to any mystical experience I had zero belief and MAXIMUM skepticism. I came from the Richard Dawkins/Sam Harris style scientific atheism. I had no belief in curses/magic/mysticism of any sort. At best I believed that you may be able to eradicate your suffering or have states of some psychological God realization that was well possible within the scientific paradigm. Basically, I was looking at everything from a materialist atheist point of view. And then BAM I'm cursed and literally experiencing magic. Yea, I'm not crazy, mentally ill, mentally unstable, a cook, interpreting reality to sound spooky, or anything of that nature. I'm a normal seeming guy, who's highly intelligent, who is highly successful (not lying), and am even successful with the ladies. My god guys, I'm literally a normal western materialist that got my ass handed to me by a curse with zero belief prior. That literally happened. Like genuine magical knowledge of the future. I don't know if you people quite comprehending what I'm saying. This isn't' some make believe post where I'm just making up spooky tales because it's fun. Nor is it a schizophrenic fantasy. I am an intellectual person, who is extremely normal appearing in real life. Highly intelligent, highly respectable, yet experience magic. The stuff I'm talking about is is real, and I get the vibe of mostly dismissiveness. I almost would like to just make a video, but I don't want to attach my real identity to these posts as I have a career and life to keep safe from people thinking I'm a weirdo.

Okay, so if I told you the exact day your mother was going die and specific events that followed. And everything I said came true. How would you interpret that? I'm just curious. Also, you're attributing things to me that you can't know, stop doing that. And why are you being insulting? That's entirely unhelpful and unnecessary. It only detracts from how seriously one might take you when you're telling me that I'm an attention whore and painting me with other negative attributes. It's like you're upset that I don't agree with you about my own experience?

But Leo, what would you say to someone who has had undeniable predictions fed to them about their own future? Like stuff that I couldn't deny the supernatural aspect of it. Curse is just a word. I get it. However there is a narrative and existence here that I can only use words like mystical, curse, blessing, clairvoyance to describe my experiences. I understand to a good degree the nature of the mind to create narrative and also illusion. Perhaps sometimes I'm still deeply fooled, but I certainly have had some experiences that would be classified as what one would call a typical curse. I would easily disregard that description, but it's for me the easiest way to explain my experience.

I'll put this way. Magically, years ago amidst the most intense part of this whole experience I looked up a video on YouTube which was documentary about a female that had a minor medical issue. The video had about 600k views. I was fed the information that I would then date this female. 1.5 years later I randomly ran into her, and dated her. Without prior having even met her. One of many experiences of predicting the future. I wasn't trying to meet her either, it just happened organically. With this kind of experience, the curse experiences are of obvious mystical nature. Meaning they are outside of the naturalistic material paradigm. Sometimes it's a bit ambiguous, but there is an obvious mystical nature to a lot of the phenomenon that is undeniable.

Do you think that I'm simply attributing and interpreting my negative feelings towards stuff as a curse? Like if I lose job, do you think I'm attributing mystical curse to that? No, that's not what I'm doing. My experience is mystical in nature and it very clearly creates experiences that are extremely psychologically unnerving, painful, causing fear, disgust, sometimes real life circumstances, destroying relationships all kinds of stuff. Yea it's not like, oh man something bad happened, gee boss I guess I'm just cursed. No, it's an extremely potent mystical experience.

Perhaps the keys example would be a bad example because some of you seem to focus on that for some reason and skip the fact that I have literal clairvoyance? It was an example of a tiny thing that it does, one example of a 1000 things that have happened. And it's not losing my keys, it's a manipulation of my memory, thoughts, and feelings which lead me to a state where I am capable of being so lost that I forget something obvious like the keys to my front door and have walk back and forth 3 times everyday for a month in row. It isn't a short walk people. And I'm not a fucking dunce. I'm a bright, sober and intelligent guy. I wouldn't do that you goofballs. I can provide endless examples of curse like experiences. Many of them. I'm on my phone right now, but maybe I'll share a few tomorrow. My God trust me fellas it's not the normal losing keys experience, I wouldn't have brought it up. There's far more to it then just being a bit forgetful. @JuliusCaesar And no, dude I don't do any drugs. I literally get hair tested. I used to do psychedelics years ago, but I'm as sober as it gets.

@Razard86That's your perspective having not lived my experience. You're welcome to it. And I appreciate it if you're genuinely trying to help. But your advice seems better suited to someone who is simply having a false interpretation of reality or a mental health issue. I have neither.

Perhaps for you they don't. I hope it never is real for you. Mysticism and magic are real and that can take many, many different forms. Accept it or not, you should be spiritually pure. You lose nothing and gain a lot from that idea.

It feels as if there's an intelligence behind it. It certainly functions with a godlike level of intellect. It can create the illusion of a possession or some demonic entity of some sort, but it's just a mystical illusion. It often comes in the form of an avatar and I also have illusionary characters with their personalities. One of them being a comedic almost teddy bear of an imaginary character and represents my more piggish desires like to over indulge in food. Honestly, it can be quite hilarious at times. That's not very curse like, but it's part of the experience too. But the avatar of the person who is the originator of the curse potentially takes many forms, seems to mock itself, and has shown in extremely vivid dreams and as an apparition in real life. Think like a hologram or a force ghost from star wars. Think like something that overlays reality. Or it can draw my attention to things in real reality. It has actually helped me out by showing me things that I wouldn't have otherwise noticed. Sometimes it literally gives me knowledge of things that I couldn't have known or wouldn't have discovered on my own. This whole experience pervades my experience to such a degree that the nature of my conscious experience has changed entirely from prior to the supernatural event if you wanna call it that instead of a curse.

I used to fully reject the idea of curses and mysticism prior getting cursed. I had zero belief and maximum skepticism and I was cursed with an immensely powerful one. It's quite strong and not connected to my personal belief structure at all. I only believe in a lot of the phenomenon as a result of experiencing it first hand. Having verifiable clairvoyance was the big one. Once you start being fed knowledge of future events accurately it's hard to deny the supernatural element. A lot of you don't want to believe this simply because you are fearful. Also, people just simply are skeptical to the idea of magical curses. But I am here to tell you with 100% certainty that they are VERY REAL. I am an intelligent, normal appearing, wealthy, well off, highly respected in society, attractive to women, former materialistic person who fully believes in and is experiencing the supernatural. If you met me you'd have the impression of a highly intelligent, polite, well meaning and successful individual. You probably would love if I dated your daughter. That's the guy you're talking to. I almost guarantee that you would be shocked. I'm not some random internet cook like some of you probably believe. I would shock the shit out of you in person. You wouldn't even believe that I have these experiences or beliefs if you met me.

I definitely didn't intend to do that. I appreciate your intention to clear it. It can come in forms other than a curse, it can be a blessing too. It depends on the person. It's nothing to be afraid of. My experience is unique. I went into this with the intention of communicating this while protecting people from potential negative effects. But do your thing as well. Thank you.

Do you think I wear gothic clothing and eye liner? Do you think I'm schizophrenic? Perhaps you think I'm just making an edgy lie for attention on the internet? Either way it doesn't really help for you to just basically come in here and call me and idiot on a forum about mysticism on a thread about mysticism. Maybe just don't post? You obviously don't buy the fundamental premise, so just don't post.

Take all the rules seriously. Don't be a lazy person. Actually try to meditate till you can't anymore, because a lot of people I think cheat and sleep in after 4am. Don't be that guy unless you're actually getting physically sick. Try your best and push yourself. It's tough.

Upon making thread I had intensely prayed for everyone's protection and mean well. My mystical phenomenon can spread to those who interact with me, mostly in subtle ways, and it doesn't have to take the form of a curse. If you are affected I pray and intend for it to take the form of a blessing if it takes any form at all for you.

Yea, that's a fair question. It's just a small example of something it can do. It can temporarily fog memory in ways that are specific, or at specific times, such that it can really turn you into someone who behaves like a complete idiot. I'm a really sharp and disciplined guy, I wouldn't forget my keys and walk all the way to my apartment door sober after work 3 times. Going up and down three flights of stairs each time getting to my door and realizing that I forgot my keys. It literally has me walk back to my car, puts me some temporary state of memory loss and then will even mock me to make me even more upset. This is just one tiny, tiny example something it has done. It can cause you to forget your own name temporarily, or birthdate, or anything. Hell, it can even do the opposite. I've had super human levels of memory and intellect, but those moments are temporary and more rare than the problematic ones where I, say forget my keys, three times in a row. That description help? Can the mystical force that posses me effect you? Is that what you're asking? The answer is yes, but don't worry it's not necessarily going to appear as a curse to you. It may actually cause you to realize something about yourself or me, or my posts that makes you understand or learn something. Maybe that's happening right now. I only wish you good things by posting this for you. Truly. You are interacting with a mystical force by talking to me. Maybe try to invoke it for good?

I'll put it this way. That is an interpretation of my mind. But it takes the form of what would be very reasonable to consider a curse. But again it's not always in the form of a curse. I have also been to a mystical level of hell. I mean true supernatural levels of suffering and hell. Some things the curse does is pithy and minute, but it has done some extraordinarily intense tortuous things to me too. This is a very real and serious phenomenon, I'd like to emphasize that.