Salcedoop

@brugluiz Hey brugluiz! I stumbled upon this old post just yesterday; I want to thank you for sharing your sincere thoughts and the great thread it generated. Had a couple of good laughs and face palms, all in good nature. And it's funny because you aren't really asking anything, just sharing an honest point of view! In turn, I'll share some quick thoughts: I watched many of Leo's vids and the info he provides is amazingly clear and concise. There is also an honesty element I appreciate. The way I see it, the channel offers information in a certain format that is meant to reach an audience receptive to said format -kind of like our language can only ever reach those who know it. The intended message is one thing, the delivery may or may not match said intention. In any case, I share in the lonely feeling you perceive; at the same time, I come to these vids for what they do offer. Good day! @Mafortu lmao! totally!

@Jonac awesome artwork. Thank you for sharing!

@StephenK to me, insanity is one of those things that you can't really know until you experience it, much like love. In my own experience, insanity is triggered when there's a huge enough gap between the idea we have of how the world works and the outcome. The gap has to be huge at many levels, emotional, psychological, cognitive. This is why kids can't really go insane. They are pure potential: they live in the moment an react accordingly. As we grow up, our brains weave a model based on these experiences. Sudden abrupt changes can really mess with that. Also mind games which are more subtle, but when chronic, they're lethal.

@Gabriel Antonio 35 usd is no joke in some countries. to be honest, for me it's a lot.

@Shin I think people here are assuming too much, we know nothing about this person. for all we know, they could be a troller we decide whether to believe them or not and how to react. they're not asking for advice nor what we think about their character. if it is a girl, we are not here to solve her problems.

@Aaron k Hi Aaron, I also am not Leo, but I'd like to take a shot at your question because I too have struggled with self-image issues. What bejapuskas said about being confidence is very true, especially for guys! (girls can easily get away with the "shy" card).... of course, this is easier said than done, right? First of all, from you pic, you look perfectly fine to me!! On the other hand, always remember that in general girls will fall for sensitive strength in guys more than looks; we like it when we feel secure around someone (even if we wont admit it!). When a guy makes me feel beautiful it's one of the best feelings. Him having the right attitude and confidence is key! Examples of sensitive strength are humor, the ability to laugh at yourself and the ability to take a joke. Now, all of this must be practiced!! one must learn to take a hit. Leo has videos in which he mentions humor. If I remember correctly he offers some tips. A great way to start is to put yourself out there, approach girls and pay them compliments, it really doesn't matter if you're a bit clumsy at first (some girls find that cute). If they're mean, that's totally on them. Being cruel to someone (like that picture-lady you mentioned) always tells you that there is something wrong with them in their inability to respect others; the only reason for this is that they don't respect themselves. Turn it around on them, smile, stick your tongue out, acknowledge their behavior, you'll see they will snap out of it if they have any decency -which people usually do, they just forget-. I could go on but I feel that I'm rambling, good luck!

It really depends on what you are after. A developed sense of responsibility requires balance, commitment and perseverance. These values may well be achieved by an individual, although I believe it's best to find a group with these qualities and join in (for example a sports team or a club). This will provide the pressure you need to work on those values, like a muscle. Only after developing a good sense of responsibility it's sensible to pursue an innovative path. My thoughts on hedonism: seeking pleasure is usually the result of either bad habits acquired during development or relief seeking; in the first case, it may be useful to think whether you have your habits under control or they have control over you; Can you say you're stronger than them? Can you stop at will? . Pleasure seeking isn't bad in and of itself, it's bad when out of our control. The second case, relief seeking, means that there is a constant source of stress. If this source of stress isn't readily evident, it may be time to look inwards to find resolve for said source (could be past trauma, could be a current relationship). Good luck!

It's just a question and she is posting it in the dating section, makes sense. Why not be open about your wants unless it was explicitly stated as forbidden? @TheBeachBionic You go girl! Just be careful with the mindsturbation some of these guys have going on, don't take the responses (or non-responses for that matter) too seriously sweety. xoxo

@Casey Gavin Powers Hi Casey, I'm sorry to read what you are going through, I don't think it's petty at all, family problems are psychologically some of the most daunting and when it comes to parents, taboo. I don't know you and you're quite young so I hope my answer is not too vague , remember, one can only talk from experience, always take other's advice with a grain of salt, including Leo's. He's said it himself in some vids.. A lot of adulthood is about balancing out our needs and wants with other's needs and wants; for the most part it's not egocentric to search for help to get your own problem fixed and to put yourself in the right place before anyone else because a sick person, an unstable person cannot help others in the long run. I could go on, but I don't consider it productive for the time being. I leave you with this short vid with advice for creative people, I hope it's useful. I know people are trashing JP right now, but hey, when it comes to psychology the guy knows his stuff. Good luck!

Thank you, great list!

@Rilles hello! I'm not even close to being an expert on this, but I'm happy to share my experiences and what little i know. i was chatting with an experienced biologist and she was telling me about different varieties of weed and how some can be down-right dangerous because of the intense effects they have on the psyche. so, and you probably already take precautions but there's no harm in a reminder, get your cannabis info straight before trying anything. i don't smoke, but i have ingested cannabis and the first three times were fun. at the time, i wanted to use it as an escape method for heartbreak; i found out that it didn't help me forget my woeful sorrows, but it was pretty fun, something different. listening to music under the influence was great! i was lucky the first times as nothing bad happened but the fourth time.... i went bonkers.. it was so intense, time stopped, i went into a time loop i thought i'd never get out of, i could barely speak, i couldn't make out full sentences, i lost track of what i was saying.. gosh it was bad.... i dont know if it was the variety of cannabis or some sort of averse chemical reaction with my back then malnourished body or just an exaggeration of my deteriorating emotional state, probably a combo of all of those factors, but it was bad. i've theorized that in a better mood, state of mind and body, this wouldn't have happened. marijuana shouldn't be mindlessly thrown around. from what i've heard, by later talking to friends about the experience, the effect has a lot to do with the person consuming, some are more sensitive, plus, there are other factors to take into account; the person's emotional state is a big one. in conclusion, use wisely!

@RabbitHole lol i still think that if Mike is convinced what he says is true, he's talking from experience. therefore he should totally go through with it: the bad boy, big muscle, tattoo thing.. i'm not being sarcastic here, all that is totally doable: get a tat, go to the gym and get all those girls. seriously, i don't think there's another way for him (you) to know what that's like, especially judging from the way he's yawning away good advice @Mikael89 I don't think you're weak Mike, I think you're curious, maybe a bit lost, which is fine and normal, "part of the process" and it's understandable if you've been through a repressive upbringing. good luck!

@Shin lol, lucky her!

September 30th, 2018 I've been thinking how open I should be in this very public space, I came to the conclusion that there are subject manners, thoughts and ideas that I will not be posting...they'll be left in my desktop "word journal" or the physical one I keep around. I guess the advantage of a "forum journal" is feeling some sort of peer-pressure to keep doing it, instead of just making it a one-time-thing. Another advantage of having a "forum journal" is that I won't have to worry about getting my computer robbed... why do I say this? apparently I live in a dangerous neighborhood. I say apparently because I guess i still have ptsd from all those times i've been robbed or mugged I've had so many personal insights this week, on my past, my relationships and the forces that make it difficult for me to move forward, as well as the value system that underlines these forces. On the other hand, this week's flute lesson, both the one I took and the one I gave went great, it was very satisfying. This motivates me a lot to keep going. Self reminder: get over all of those dis-encouraging comments, remarks, shuns and what not ... i just.. can't believe the degree of negative feedback i endured for years.. there was something going on in that college, and it wasn't me... i must be strong and show them, through hard work, through results, through action... be strong Pau. i still have no idea how to get cash for buying a better flute or a piccolo. any ideas, anyone? sometimes i can't decide if mexicans are a very enlightened people or if they're very unenlightened..... there is a kind of magic that goes along with little awareness, that I can say Duoling. i've kept my two week streak! positive aspects (awesome thought or happenings): dreadfulness... self-actualization. bodywork; yesterday while doing flexibility exercises, i realized how unaware i was of some upper body msucles and i wondered... wow, for how long? is this a generational thing? i've known for some years now that i had a lot, and ai mean a lot of tension in my shoulders, neck and, more recenty, back , but i think this goes way more deep than i could have imagined... i finally felt that i was using some back muscles i hadnt felt in.. well forever! weekly goal: i'm doing the 7day vegan challenge this week! inspired by a particular video of sadhguru, i'm convinced. : ) yes.. i've been preparing for this, i havent eaten red meat for many days, except yesterday that i was offered some at a friend's and wouldv'e been rude to not have. i'm ready, mentally and physically, i love my spinach and i love my fruits and veggies. START WITH LIVER FLUSH. - i will juice-fast for three days and then do it. report on this on this blog. self reminder: you live in a society where working on yourself, body, image, development is regarded as selfish and therefore immoral. something was said in the las actualized vid: "you gotta be the ceo of your own life, yo ucan't expect someone else to be the ceo or else they'll fail, you can do taht yourslef" then i remembered: how a long long time a go i used to think something along these lines: to be the owner of my own life and wanting to make my own mistakes, not have them made for me but.. i payed the price, a lofty one...... shunning, secrecy behind my back etc.. bevause nobody tellse you but in this cultuer, you're not to be the owner of yourself, that is considered selfhis. cooking is an status mark, a mark of you value, a power game, a meal preparing for women *this thought-thread is not edited and has been saved for practical purposes.

Hello Actualized.org, hello all who may visit. I decided to finally post a Self-Actualization Journal. My name is Paulina. I'm a very naturally curious and self-motivated person. I consider myself to be a natural explorer too. For the last few years in my life, I've lost a sense of direction and purpose do to various personal and economical problems. I fell into a deep depression and stayed there for years until one day I was on the brim of suicide. My family agreed I was crazy (or something) and I bought into this lie so I spent a lot of time and effort with shrinks... to little avail. I touched bottom, so I started digging into the root cause of my life's structure (rather, un-structure). I've found fascinating factors, I've gone through so many strange experiences and encounters and this is me trying to piece it all together. Feel free to comment, to share opinions and even contact me if you feel compelled, I'm quite open to people. September 26th, 2018. Cafe Tal - noon. I came here to read on the sociology of tourism, an article I downloaded a couple of days ago, and found some very interesting information which represented a huge relief to me: knowing that this thing named neo-colonialism exists and is acknowledged; I intuited a lot of what the article went on and now I have the vocab and references to back it up, if it ever comes up in conversation. https://www.jstor.org/stable/2083181?newaccount=true&read-now=1&seq=6#metadata_info_tab_contents https://www.ukessays.com/essays/tourism/tourism-is-a-neo-colonialist-activity-tourism-essay.php https://www.ukessays.com/essays/tourism/ Last week I began remembering and polishing my French skills on Duolingo. A friend brought it up and in a moment of procrastination I a gave it a go. I'm liking the App -I use the web page version- more than I thought I would, it's well programmed. I also began learning Japanese, for no good reason, probably a distraction. It's fun nevertheless and I feel at peace putting my mind to work rather than have it wander on its own. Ballet. I haven been to dance class for a while now. My muscles are resting but in the process they are probably losing strength. I also don't feel as energetic as usual. I don't feel like I should go back to my ballet lessons. It's not clear to me where I'm going, where the group is going, what is expected of me... why doesn't anyone talk about what's going on!! it's son unclear, the uncertainty stresses me out so much. There are other factors why I haven't gone back... I love the girls, the teacher.. the environment has become toxic for me though. I can't handle the drama right now. I'm not gaining anything.. people are nice-ish to me, at least they leave me alone, but I'm not treated like a ballerina, like a dancer, like an equal. Anyway, I'm working on flexibility, it's there, I still got it. Flute. I just saw a post of a flute master-class on Friday. I'm going for sure, just gotta think what to bring to the class so I may get a critique on it. I love my flute. I cried while playing the other day.. my memory goes so far back of when I began, and I'm finally starting to feel satisfied with my progress. Car problems. I finally took the car to the shop. I'd been having problems with it for the last month or two but well... ignored them, I didn't think they were _that_ serious..... but alas, they are, something got into the motor and the repair.... it may just be more expensive than I can afford right now. Self-actualization. I'm waking up early, around 5:30am. I'm learning how to relax my body. I'm not getting up until later though, sometimes I fall back to sleep. I'm getting up at around 7am, which is good for now, but not the objective. I don't get hungry until a couple of hours have passed after I get up. I like taking tea, walking, stretching and getting some sunlight in the early morning. Then I go about my daily activities. I'm also going to bed no later than 11, though sometimes I'll fall asleep at around midnight. I'm not where I would like to yet as far as sleep-wake discipline but I must remind myself that this is a huge progress in comparison to my former out-of-whack sleep-wake cycle. That is all for now. Forum topics I though of for future use: mocking to the death, a true story of cultural difference. society's catch 22's. distinguishing advanced creatures from retarded ones, impossible?. the trauma of cultural set-back. the trauma of societal set-back.

@Mikael89 um mike, you're in a self development forum sweety, the objective is changing aspects of yourself. stop the victim mentality, we girls don't like that ; )

@Shin omg are you single?! xDD

@Emerald I love the way you phrased that!

@Shin lol, my thought exactly! emotional men are capable of falling and getting up and not hiding behind a curtain afterwards. they laugh at themselves. they are neither looking for a mom to take care of them nor a piece of meat to munch on whenever possible. they seek a partner. this goes for emotionally strong women too btw. @MM1988 news flash MM, girls who put themselves out there go through this too, opening up only to be rejected afterwards. yes, hot girls too (eye roll). this is not a gender-specific experience, so stop the madness and gender victimization pleeeease ¯\_ಠ_ಠ_/¯ @Mikael89 look Mike, if you really believe this - and I'm sorry you do, evidently you have no counter-examples. you sound very convinced this is true-, it's something you're going to have to do for yourself: go out in the world, be an asshole, "hunt" the kind of girls that are attracted to you and your sleazy attitudes and see how it goes; if you like it, good for you. if there's any brains left in you after the experience and if you're a even millimeter deeper than a puddle, you'll probably find yourself feeling a shallow sadness at some point. you'll get girls solely on their physical appearance with an abyss of disconnect on any other level.. I've seen men weeping because of this, but of course, you'll never believe me (and you shouldn't) until you do it for yourself... we wouldn't want you becoming cynical or anything, right?. ; ) go try it, i dare you. alternative: find women that are secure enough in themselves to see through this, find guys secure enough to be attractive without being assholes.. that's called quality human beings. oh yeah, btw, you can also work on building constructive relationships with somebody..but oh no,that takes time and effort; feed a woman appreciation and it will reflect back ten-fold.

@MikeB hi Mike, relationships are difficult, the level of difficulty is usually proportional to how emotionally involved we are. It may be useful to think of a relationship as a triad: you, the other and the relationship, this way you can grasp what is in your control: yourself (your desires and needs) and the relationship, partially. You can't control what others feel and think or what they give or don't give to a relationship. From the comment at the beginning of your sentence, to an outsider it seems there's some built-up resentment, to what I would suggest to work on your boundaries. Boundaries are there to prevent situations that eventually lead to resentment. Ultimately, only you can know how to "find the love", but of course, if you're really interested in doing so and are in need of a starting point, it's a good idea to seek guidance. Keep in mind that not all guidance will work for you. What worked best in my experience, for example, is looking through a lot of resources and choosing those that suited me, as well as listening with an open mind. I assume if you're here it's because you saw value in the material that is offered? There's a list of books specifically on relationships. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman is a good start. You could also go to a guidance counselor. I hope this was useful, good luck!

@lmfao JP Sears is a blast! both his comedy and serious videos offer great insights. n _n I also resonate with Amanda Flaker's Youtube Channel.

@AilinKyung my family reunions are a contest for whomever made the most money or traveled the most or gained the most something.. I understand the empty feeling when being with family you can't connect with, on an emotional level. It can be or annoying, heartbreaking even, depending on your perspective. Those feelings are usually an indicator that it's time to either: build ties within the family that make sense so as to perpetuate the bond -even improve it if you can, or, it's time for you to leave, explore the world and do your own thing. Good luck !

@CreamCat chilax creamcat, he's not being serious as hinted by the winky face following the comment.. it seems like a bit of playful mockery to me, as suggested by the wikipedia definition of a SJW: Social justice warrior (commonly abbreviated SJW) is a pejorative term for an individual who promotes socially progressive views, including feminism, civil rights, and multiculturalism,[1][2] as well as identity politics.[3] The accusation that somebody is an SJW carries implications that they are pursuing personal validation rather than any deep-seated conviction,[4] and engaging in disingenuous arguments.[5] from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_justice_warrior : P

@Guest Annetta Hello Guest Annetta, I love the art-work you posted, do you have more? I'm only recently exploring the actualized.org forum and very much enjoyed this thread. It's great that you got it started!