Aquarius

@iGhost I don't have illusions about men, you are putting limits on me and my life and telling me what should I want or do. What a nice high horse is yours, isn't it? I'm not waiting for prince charming, I will gladly offer advanced shamanic tantric sex for someone that treats me with a minimum respect, or I will go hunt em down myself what the heck.. Do you really think all women want is a prince charming? I am a busy girl, no time for fucking around. I don't appreciate your looking down on me. I do have tons of very loyal friends, thank you very much. I am an ENFJ-A, extremely energetic and social and no one can cage me down. You're just trying to normalize rude behavior. I am a master of biokinesis and I manifested a nice feminine face the way I wanted it to look, not how others wanted me. I studied the female face anatomy and physiology on a medical level and I know all about it. I don't have problems by attracting men, since many guys wants me, even girls sometimes. I got 1000+ likes on okcupid in about 3 weeks, beat that. I'm doing minimum 5 hours of cardio every day. My butt circumference is about 120cm. I have good taste in clothes. I was reading tons of books on dating, thanks again for your concern. Checkmate. @zambize You're so compassionate. Thank you. <3

Not on a forum. On a dating site. Thanks for the imput though. Haha yeah I know this video, it was exactly the way I talked to him lol. I'm not fighting reality, and that's not what I did. But I get your point. And hey, we aren't children, I do have my expectations from men. I think the lesson here is to offer love to someone who is ready to accept it.

Exactly what happens with me on a constant everyday basis. I'm very intimidating. I'm going to the park to pick up men. That's the solution. I don't know what to do with the sex thing tho. I have a healthy libido, but I don't crave anything, I'm above all material desire and I'm very scared of pregnancy and STD's. Actually not scared, i dont give an f, but maybe if I marry one day how am I gonna have a child if I have a std? I'm a responsible girl. Maybe FMA method with him using neem gel and both testing for possible std. Idk?? I could live without sex forever and would rather do so, but I wanna please a man too so I'm being ripped into two pieces. Could live even without cuddles forever. I just don't like being called a nazi. Meh, been called worse. ^^ I'm not even a feminist lol. I think the solution is to date women or idk. People (both women and men) think cute girls can be called ugly names because they deserve punishment. I'm sure 99% of my friends think I'm a whore, yet ironically I'm a celibate, and not for religious reasons. Natural celibate, non-repressive. And I'm not asexual either, I'm hetero. And have an intense sexual aura around me too (I mean irl, on the internet you cannot sense it). Would love to make a woman happy tho because they at least understand me. I think I'm heterosexual and biromantic? What is sexual energy? It's creative energy. It's neutral. In organisms it manifests as sexual energy. I don;t need sex or masturbation because I am creative with my art, my singing/rapping, my poems/songs and my healing abilities. People cannot understand this, or they simply refuse to.

Shit yesterday I forgot to eat and drink water ayy lmao. you can't kill me if im already dead insideeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

It's very joyful watching you blossom. I enjoy this journal. Keep up the good (((((vibez)))))!

It works if you do so genuinely.

@aurum Obviously.

@ZZZZ Yes it was! I'm a fragile being! But thanks for compassion, I really needed to hear that. That man looked like 60 years old, I didn't care about sex omg I wanted to make a fragile human being happier and teach him techniques because that's my life purpose, to share love and teach love. I didn't want anything in return, but I didn't want to be emotionally abused either. I told him I'm not looking for a partner, I just wanted to talk openly with someone about who I really am without anyone going non-dual or Freud on me like on more intellectual forums. (which is cool and I still love it but sometimes I need to connect with everyday people too).

@Manjushri Thanks.. <3 I didn't do it cause of neediness, I just wanted connection with someone. Not sexual connection, but arational/intellectual one. It's so rare these days.

If you get enlightened you get more than money. But you also get the money. Enlightenment is just a tool, not the destination. Dumb brain-teasers like these make no sense because they are not how life works. You can find a middle ground in everything. Let us not be childish and naive, or ignorant.

Haha, do I seek it?

Enlightenment. Because then you have both + at least 1 billion more things in all aspects of life. Constant flow of abundance.

Find purpose. Have a vision. Ego is not to play cards with. Surrender to ego. Let it go, then it won't bother you anymore. (counter-intuitive, but effective) You are not God. God moves through you, God creates through you. Stop identifying with archetypes. Be authentic. Don't repress: allow. Panic is fear of fear. Trust yourself. You are the only person that can be trusted by yourself. Once you trust yourself, the world is yours. (not literally, but in a non-attached way) Heart and mind are one. Purify intentions. Enjoy life, remember that you are human. Everything is very fine with you and you are going through a natural process. You are not a thought, you are a human aspect of reality experiencing thoughts. See beauty in everything. Even in "evil". Give yourself what you need, so that later on you can give it back to society a thousandfold. Feel free to express "negative" emotions such as anger, sadness, pain, melancholy, loneliness, lust, hunger... Those are healthy reactions. When you feel alone, connect with someone. I am here for you. Edit: Oh sorry, I was replying to your first post on the thread. I see you are feeling very good now. Awesome!

Root - connected to - Solar Sacral - connected to - Throat Heart - connected to - Third eye Crown overflowing with bliss. This is my way of Being. I wasn't using my root chakra, I was a doormat. I hated myself not others and it was unhealthy. It's all over now. I was in constant fear and I was abused by everyone because my family is toxic. I was letting everyone use me because I did not care about myself, I wanted to see everyone being happy even if I suffered. My root chakra is my most active chakra right now and I'm sharing love and compassion with everyone and im super grounded. Also please don't analyze my profile pic, that's an old picture. I lost all my other pictures because my phone exploded in my hands. I thought it was me creating a poltergeist because all this extreme kundalini, but then I realized it was just too old. Meh, happens all the time. We tend to use things until they explode. Extremely green. I'm buying myself a nokia potato lol. Also, there are more than 7 chakras, so don't get stuck into that model. I can create an orgasm on any point of the body for example because there are thousands of points you can touch. This world needs so much healing, stop making assumptions please because that's hurtful... The strong attention is because I'm about 180cm tall and being a girl that's unusual for some (most girls here being 165cm). Also I'm quite muscular and curvy. Right now no one dares to look at me because they are not ready for my unconditional love. If they do, they do it with love and desire. I have no idea what I've done. I just started accepting and loving myself and respecting everyone unconditionally. I kept telling myself that I deserve good things. I prayed to God. I assume people like authenticity and confidence and that's the shift I'm experiencing. I love my life. I accidentally made a cute cashier blush and I was like wtf is life real??? lol. I'm just letting the Tao flow through me, i dont care about chakras and all that spiritual stuff. I had to mature, that was the problem. Read my journal to understand my maturization process. Thank you. Namaste!

I can't talk to my father, I can't talk to some of my friends without this happening, when I meet someone new they are pissed off. Sometimes even strangers on the street are looking very angrily at me, sometimes even stare. I just say something and people don't reply. They make an irritated sigh or noise sometimes. Or they ignore me and I feel the pressure between us. Why do some people do this? I cannot be natural around my loved ones anymore. I cannot say what I want or feel. I started to be scared to express my emotions and wants and needs. It created a deep fear of initiating conversations.

Both suffering and pain and optional. You can have pain without suffering though.

I know I may not have the best singing skills, but this is a song/poem someone wrote me about 8 years ago and I felt like sharing a message. They lost their song recording and the lyrics too but I have a good memory and improvisation skills, plus I had the lyrics written down. My English isn't the best either so apologies for any mispronounces. Enjoy?? omigosh im so vulnerable. o3o

My eyes never lie. I have mood-color eyes.

I love you guys unconditionally, even if you hate me for no reason. If you guys think I can read your mind or that I care about any opinions about my authentic self, you are deluded. If I was ever acting shady, it was because of self esteem/people pleasing problems and naive nature, and most of you only made it worse. I am completely healed right now, and I'm a healer myself already. How does knowing this make you guys feel? Edit: I took 100% responsibility for my life right now, I'm only pointing out to something here/expressing hurt. Being enlightened doesn't mean being a desensitized robot.

The oxes are just a model. The spiral is just a model. Astrology is just a divinatory practice. The greatest evil you can do to humanity is to abuse and harm yourself.

You seem to be in an ego trap. Enlightenment is not what you think.

Watch every video of Leo and integrate everything. Buy his book list and life purpose course. (recommended) Become a spiral wizard. Know yourself. Don't play cards with the Devil (ego). Surrender and have mercy. Hallucinations are an illusion. (subconscious projection of archetype mechanisms) Use subliminals. Actually no. Make them yourself or ask a trusted individual to create them for you. Also use affirmations. Become arational and become a shaman. Use rational (mathematical) mind to sustain and develop arational mind (imagination). (Hemi-sync, but do it without subliminals). Learn to communicate with animals, plants, crystals and ectoplasms. It's fine to ask for help. Chant Mantras or pray to God. Align with the astrals (planets, sun, moon...). Let the Tao flow through you. Meditate using healing mandalas. Dance a lot. Love your Self more than anyone else. Serve society. The system is good. Without it it's anarchy. Lead like a Coral would. Serve, but don't be a slave. When you offer advice read everything someone says before offering advice. Offer what people ask for, not what you think they need. Remember that everything someone says is just an opinion, don't take anything personally and don't get butthurt.

If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best. If you're putting chains on me, I'm gonna break both the chains and you. I'm serving the system, not any single one frustrated individual, whoever that may be. I do what God wants me to do because I'm a good Christian. Namaste. “Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.” ― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

I did exactly this and it worked. Thanks.

@electroBeam Yeah I did exactly this and and got everyone attacking me. I needed lots of courage and thick skin to become a leader. Now no one dares to even look me in the eyes. I am intimidating. I cleared my karma and attained Dharmamega and grounded into it. Thanks everyone for your help. Especially thanks to @Elysian .