Aquarius

Well I had a nasty argument with my family and I got suicidal. An angel guide woke up and sent me an image on how I can look in a few years. That motivated me and shut down all the negative responses of my body to the paliperidone. The mind and the body are indeed connected in strange ways.. I get a lot of hate on this forum. If I was more sensitive I would close my account and leave. But I enjoy being here. I might just ask the mods to close the thread if I got enough hate. I'm still good you guys, keep the hate coming. At least I'm popular hah. Integrating Orange nicely. I visited a friend this Monday and the Orange was obvious. My shadow is evil and evil is love (tnx Leo), I am full of infinite LOVE! I will spend the rest of my day reading, texting people, and foruming. Grabbing my Kindle just right now!

Thanks dude. I'm a cute pink rainbow lol. I do meet people that are clearly orange or clearly green. But most of my friends are a cute rainbow.

That's what I'm working on right now! Yesterday I had quite some serious talk with them, I even felt suicidal, so many traumas came up and they trust me and my independence more now. Also they trust my opinions more now. Yes money was and is always a big issue in my family.. it's like there is never enough. In the end of the month we barely eat good foods. So yeah. They do have green, yellow and orange in them. Some of them even have turquoise mind, but the blue lifestyle and blue surroundings make us the way we are. That doesn't mean there are no psychedelic insights in any of them.. My mom for example is big on dream interpretation. My uncle experienced God and has a doctorate diploma in psychiatry. And my grandmother is financially maintaining the whole family so she is not stupid. My original post was harsh. But I had that on my chest and I was glad I got listened to.

@remember Actually.. that's quite true. Thanks for opening my eyes to that possibility. Time spent well is not wasted time or something like that john lennon

@Evil Raccoon I don't know why is it so important for you to prove a stranger on the internet that she is wrong, when you don't even know the stranger or if she is wrong. Makes me think that you have deep insecurity issues. What you are offering me is deep limiting beliefs, not constructive criticism. Or else you would ask some good questions that would make me think again about my statements. But all you do is attack attack attack. Shame on you.

@Evil Raccoon Hahaha dude calm down, fine im green then, just chill out before you pop a blood vessel who the fuck really cares about all this stuff anyway did not try to seem that way. I see what's going on in your mind but you are just getting angry for no reason. I mean all those caps and highlighted text.. Ok, then let's agree on something just so u chill out. I am stage blue, a healthy one I am an idiot with a big ego Yes, me, Aquarius Does that make you feel better?

Also there is a difference between tripping for fun and laughs, and tripping for spiritual work.

Those kids did not open anything, just entered insanity.

I know. You just know. No need for books or anyone to tell anything. Truth is there in front of you, always.

I told that to people so many times how do I convince them?

@Leo Gura I'm there with you brother. Just pure bliss and nothing to add to it.

Wow you really did do your homework, didn't you? I love your latest insights. Keep them coming, I feel like you healed a lot! Much respect Leo!

it's not even blackness it's just non-nothing or God.

hehe thanks yes our perspectives can vary, and even our perception does. I live in a Blue/Green community on the spiral. If I had to put it there. I start to drop the whole spiral nowadyas altogether cause I attract toxic people saying BuT hOw DiD u GeT tHeRE iN 3 MoNthS?? We are open to veganism here and more and more people go vegan because meat destroyed their bodies. But there are others who go to the doctor and are prescribed to eat organs like chicken liver or stuff like that. Else they might not survive.. We need to be open and flexible and understanding.

Aww this whole post is so pleasant and made me smile. Thanks for sharing the knowledge with me! Right now I don't have the resources to work on my diet, but thanks so much and I will contemplate it in my meditation. Now I see your point and I am so grateful. Yes, our brethren and sisters need to be protected. Also do you think plants suffer if you eat them? Or are they unconscious of what is happening? Trees are quite smart btw. I read a book once about how they protect themselves from being eaten. The food chain is a real thing. I once entered a digital art contest about food chain. Wanna see my winning entry? I wasn't the winner but I got into the semi-finale.. I cannot find it right now but the whole thing was the animal food chain drawn with all animals normally living the ecosystem and eating each other.. and on the top the MAN with the crown and two bags of dollar being proud. The animals all cried. Thanks again for opening my mind. If my mind was more lucid I could walk you through the yin yang stuff I meant. But I don't wanna get into that because I'm on medication and might start more drama. I'm not as evil as I might seem. I just have shadows too. And ego.

I'm not trolling. Stop attacking me! You guys are full of hate! I wasn't blue, I just had blue stuff going on. I was yellow when I registered at 19 years old but I had blue shadow. Because of the upbringing. And yet again I don't care about your opinion but your skepticism stresses me out. How would you feel if I threw a label on you? A harsh one like "troll"? I remember when I wrote something in the relationships subforum I got the same response. That I'm not a girl, but a male troll.. very nice of you guys. I seriously was seeking help and if I was a troll, why would I even post such detail and there is an obvious suffering going on in me. Just read all the posts. And I don't even believe in the SD model right now anymore cause it's full of shit. Dramatic change is possible especially if one is working on oneself nonstop 24/7. I am not a troll. I suffer and seek genuine help. And I do not seek to change my family. Yes it's true, you cannot change someone. I just wish to live in harmony with their beliefs. They're not idiots. They need no change. They are perfect the way they are. I'm just discussing serious stuff with them. And they are great listeners. I had some blind spots and I opened my mind more to some stuff in these 4 months if that's what you mean.

Ideology? I'm open to change actually. Tell me what I did wrong and I will try to change myself into a better human! What do you think was ideological about my beliefs? Or the whole post? I agree that I tend to cling to my beliefs sometimes. I try to remain humble. Thanks for pointing that out to me. Sometimes I see the same comments about Leo's work. Nobody is immune to ideology it's true. I am patiently waiting for your insights. Who?

@Scholar Dude I'm sorry.. I had a higher perspective, that's not what I meant by ying and the yang. You didn't receive the message I had for you. I wasn't clear enough. Just forget everything I said cause that's not what I meant. Thanks for re-writing your message again, now I could understand. Your English is very good so sometimes I lose my connection to the concepts and only see words without meaning, I might be dislexic or something similar. Thank you for showing me my flaws. I will consider becoming vegan in the future. I was just having this ' i dont care' mood all day. I needed that wake up slap from you. Namaste and thank you again for opening my eyes and not letting go of me so easily. I'm hard to deal with, because I have sociopathic tendencies. I do suffer yes. I am open to your perspective. I was hoping you would open to mine. It's not like you say it is, the things. You interpreted my message the wrong way. I need to develop my English skills. I'm not a scholar. I hope we will have similar good convos in the future. Thank you.

Good info. Drew, you really Know what you talk about. Yes, I will try to be more receptive. I tend to be argumentative and defensive even, I agree. But my diet options are horrible. My family is killing me if I eat too little.. kills me if I eat too much. To each its own. Every plant requires different grooming methods and has different needs. Just like humans do.

@JosephKnecht Covid-19 is full of shit.

@Fkdel Aw thanks this made me feel good. But for me my family is not that bad. We had an ugly fight when I made the whole original post. I can tell them any nasty stuff about myself and they are not judging me. I might have distanced myself from them so my vision of their behaviors wasn't too clear, maybe was even a bit autistic. They are older and kinda naive, not made for life. All of them get money from government because of illness and cannot work. I need to differ from them. But I am helping them with models like maslow or spiral. I feel like a strong person now and they are not bothering me. If they say their crazy stuff I just laugh and mind my own business.

I skipped Orange. I am now integrating it, see my other posts and my journal about shadow work and alpha personality. I know you're not attacking me, I am an empath and attack feels differently. You actually had clear arguments which were valuable for me even if I didn't show it. I appreciated your posts! What if I don't want to? If you had those abilities do you think you would go around bragging and showing off? Do you know what danger that means? I don't even mention what kind of abilities I have. Because then I am asked to prove. It doesn't work that way. I don't want to prove anything. You guys can choose to believe me or not. I couldn't care less. Meh.

Hey thanks I really liked your post. The thing is.. whatever I write you guys dissect it and make it into something which might not be true. Just to prove me I have an ego. Which I know I do have. Cause I'm alive, im not dead. Survival is real, yes. I admit that I got an ego lashback when I saw the person attacking me, so my ego rose and fought back. It's true it's true. I am not deluded. The way I write is because I have a personality. I do have a personality and a sense of humour and all that baggage I refuse to let go of. I'm young. And even after ego death, you still have a personality and preferences. We are not robots, after all. You're welcome! Hope you enjoy subliminals. I don't identify with anything but then what should I say? Oh wait. I could just remain silent and ignore everyone. But then, oh wait. Everyone will think that I'm now angry. And giving the silent treatment like Aquarians do. haha You guys do assume a lot of things that might not be true about me. Anyway the thing is... I love my life. I am healthy now. My relationship is saved from my ugly shadow that I integrated quite nicely all by myself. I have friends. I have food and shelter. My love needs are met and I practice self love, which is the highest teaching, yes. I think this thread is just getting overcomplicated with mental masturbation. But I love a good argument sooo I am not offended i am calm while i write everything here. you guys might misunderstand me because well idk. I have a temper i do. Some see Leo as Turquoise and even he is sometimes laughing at stupid stuff that he usually ignores Honestly I start caring less and less about labels. I think this talk is helping me. Thanks dude, cheers

Psychological therapy, cognitive behavioral or humanistic psychologist. I was meaning that dogs are dangerous so in a way it is rational to fear them. So avoid them. And irrational animals because they lack thinking mind, they're instinctual unlike humans. Also, I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been attacked many times. Fearing a simple dog would make no sense if you can see that they are friendly. But fearing a hoard of dogs is rational cause they attack when in gangs. There is an exercise where you detach from your fear. Like instead of trying to worry about your fear of dogs, and struggling to avoid the fear of dogs, you let the fear wander freely in your mind, and view it as a cloud. Let yourself feel freely. You may cry and release emotions which is normal. Try 7 cups therapy. They have a cool chat bot and exercises and level up and all. Just google 7cups

This whole SD model is fun and cool and all. But it's quite simplistic. Everyone is so complex. There is no such thing as ordinary human beings. That notion needs to be gone! People are so complex and cannot be boxed in one group. SD model is a science. Sociological science. Science likes to measure and put things into boxes. I don't even feel like using it since it's only useful as a tool of showing you where you should end up. But everyone has their own rules and thinkings, and everyone is so unique. Even the simplest man has a complex life. And reality is mysterious and the mysteries are vast. I don't like how some of you just come to this forum to argue with each other. Why cannot we see the big picture?