Aquarius

I realised I cannot be so harsh with people just because they made a mistake in the past that cost me a lot. Like, a lot. Forgiveness leads to better understanding and better relationships. I should leave the past on its place.. in the past. I am good where I am. More patience with myself and my mentality should bring me to increased gratitude. Thanks family for trying to help me. Some of that help was actually helpful with the right response from me. Some of the stuff I went through was all depending on me, and I got much patience from my family. Time to give some of that patience back!

@Dumuzzi I see. Well I do more grounded healing work and psychotherapy sessions for friends or mom. That's just howbI call it lol because I wanna feel professional. What I do really is just share the love. I am a simple person. I grew hostile towards Christianity recently as I feel they replace your soul souvereignity with an all-controlling angry God. I knew God differently. Or just don't think of God. I work on my career and more tangible grounded things. Philosophy and spirituality can go to dangerous levels. I meet my old habits and problems every corner.. my old wounds and mistakes every corner. Karma is real.

Hi! So I was thinking that my life is a big mess and I should concentrate on some stuff. I go with the maslow's hierarchy on this.. I lack a job and a higher education. These are the biggest goals. I started a physical journal, and I design my every day doings. I rarely have more than 4 items done a day. Stuff like cleaning, getting in shape, spirituality and God, stuff like that. Even my subliminal messages progresses.. I want to pick a few I'm working on right now. So that would be ... 1. mental and emotional health. recovering from trauma, healthy relationships, good state of mind, mind tools (binaurals for example), connection to family 2. beauty, looks, hygiene. includes haircut, clothes, my style, the stuff I share on facebook, even my artstyle and the designs i am making, my room 3. religion, spirituality, God. includes my channel I'm working on. And all 3 include tools like subliminals and affirmations, mind control, different methods, like gemstone healing, etc. I feel like these 3 are a base needs for me. Any advice, insight is appreciated always.

Thanks for the support! Going really fine in my evolution progress. I feel more like myself day by day. The key to emotional health was to allow. The key to mental health was to write it all out. The key to beauty was accepting. The key to self-care was to be aware. The key to finding God was to seek him, and to be grateful. The spiritual path I am going on got much more mature when I got informed on how things are going in the world. My observational skills were activated by a slight melancholy and bitterness. I do share more of myself than I should also. I'm getting there.. slow and steady wins the race.

It's not immature to feel emotions. Maybe your feminine side is manifested immaturely, but a strong mature female can use her empathy and verbal skills very sharply in the workforce. Think alpha/omega/zeta females.. they run the world! Bursting out emotions may be a form of stress, not a feminine manifestation of the self. And it's not necessarily unhealthy, but something that's needed if you suppressed something in yourself. You may have underlying trauma about showing your feminine side. Letting go is a choice also. Some females are passionately pursuing something, not all of them are letting it all go. It's not all binary or one-dimensional either. These things have no gender really, just more prevalent some of them in females, some of them in males.

@Orchid Wonderful journey indeed. I am similar to you right now. I closed myself off to people and I have no need to go and connect to people except rarely. I connect to like-minded people through my work only, and that's how I wish that to happen. I am no longer looking for people to just have fun with and talk about sweet nothings. I have purpose in my mind, and direction in my heart. Sure, Leo helped a lot, but I could give thanks to many other people whom crossed my path. I feel like you can learn something from everyone, and everyone helped me become the way I am. Sure, I am not perfect, but I am working through my traumas and bad habits slowly but surely. There is no rush, things are going fine right now. I enjoy books occasionally, but self-help doesn't really do it for me anymore. Self-help for me really is what the name says: helping myself. So if I have a problem I don't go on reading books about the problem, but rather, get up and tackle the problem by the roots. Sure, I need mindful action, and I do think about stuff a lot, but not overthink, which is progress. I still have mental health issues, but most of them could be just family problems. I cannot change that. But Leo taught me that you have to take 100% responsibility. I am responsible even if I refuse to act.. because even inacton is a choice. I act consistently on helping out my family members when they have a hard time. Thanks for your post, I am happy to see people like you on the forum. You really got Leo's message and his life purpose helped you. I tend to be hypercritical of Leo, mainly because different upbringing and stuff we will never agree on with him, but he did create essential things that changed my direction 108 degrees. Thanks Leo.

Yes. Agreed. I just had this insight by myself today. God will show me the way. Thanks for that, @IAmTheHolySpirit! I really hate this thread lol. It's kinda awkward. Getting stuck again. I shall do what God inspires me to do every moment. He is the Way, the Truth and the Life.

@tashawoodfall Hey. Don't be too hard on yourself. You are trying to subscribe to ideas which aren't your own just because some random model tells you to. Or because an internet teacher convinced you. I mean alright, it's a useful model, but it makes people label themselves which is stereotyping in the same time. You're not stuck in Orange, you just believe different things than the model presents. Find your own truth with or without subscribing to the spiral or any other model. When it's time, you will change your opinion by simply learning something new and profound by mere "accident" (because there are no accidents). Just know you don't have to rush or force anything. You need a healthy dose of self-love and understanding right now, not to believe something you don't actually believe. That's pure insanity! Go with the flow on your own path.

Just my two cents.. if you plan to be famous, be careful to ask yourself "For what do I want to be remembered?" Make sure the answer is so profound and heartwarming, liberating, or simply put: noble, that you will work on your fame knowing that even if you get less followers than others, they will get something valuable in return for their time. Kids of tiktok are entertaining, but you gotta give value to someone instead of just grabbing their attention. Those people won't be remembered for long either way. Or will be remembered for wrong reasons. You have to differ. Look at Nikola Tesla or Jules Verne .. they became popular but today not many people know them. They gave tons of value though. Have a few persons you look up to that you wanna be similar to. For direction. And lastly, read books and inform yourself about the things you wanna do.

@Applegarden I re-read your post, and wanted to ask you something.. Do you think your advice is right? I mean it helped me a lot on my perspective. But wouldn't it be better to get all my needs met before I enter the workforce? I have serious gaps in my needs that weren't met. And right now with the quarantine it's harder to get a job. I COULD try, but I wanna make my skills and assets stronger, so no one can refuse me. I also want a nicer work than the work I already do on my own. (vlog and art) I am 22 and I finished school 4 years ago. I only worked very shitty and small jobs. And even there I was fired. How do you think I would do if I don't have a clear work ethic yet, good sleep and skills for work? Wouldn't it be smarter to do a course on something, however small or even free the course is? Don't be too harsh with me. I do understand your concerns, but I just got home from the psychiatry a week ago. I am not in good shape yet. I could strengthen my body and my mind with daily exercises but.. it takes a long time, maybe 6 months or even a year. I do visit a psychologist for my problems.

Today I'll try adding more activities. These are notes to self but you guys can comment anything. 1. mental and emotional health 7 cups talk it out with a trusted friend talk family stuff with family most gently possible give gratitude to family and their work they do be kind with family help family watch therapy cd's for teens 2. beauty and body take off all unwanted hairs search for a good hairdresser (not going yet) take vitamins and supplements for liver clean room make something beautiful (artistic) 3. spirituality reconnect with God be empathic with self be infinitely loving and patient with self write in journal do self love exercises in journal watch alphaomega on tv watch religious videos (and comment on them, have own opinion if someone is harsh and stage Blue)

I see you guys be all about chasing enlightenment. But that's just a state. You still chop wood, carry water. Do the grind! Here's a quick vlog style video I made. Inspired from my amazing boyfriend. Stay humble.

Maybe also a diet and fitness log. A friendship thing. And a relationship thing. All for habits! Oops and a study one And hobbies.

I almost finished for today. Only two items left. I might have time for a 'work and job' section, for chores and my artwork. Maybe also 'subliminal progress' and 'projects' section. Will wait a week before all of this though. I would like to deepen my base needs met.

Today I will pick some more activities for my topics. 1. mental and emotional health: go to psychologist write in journal-book hang out with bf 2. beauty and body wash teeth properly make proper pedicure healthy looking natural face makeup 3. spirituality practice gentleness and gratitude say self-love affirmations pray for good direction in life

That's not what I meant. They do have all those stages inside them already. Always had. But they felt guilty to show it. I talked to them a lot about real life stuff. My mom was obsessed with religion and God. She thought God punishes her.. She is still stage Blue, but more empathic with herself like Blue -Green. All of my family were healthy humans once, it's just something went wrong and they started becoming toxic. I don't care about the spiral. And I cannot change my family. I just feel I made them slightly more open-minded. I didn't make my whole family stage green. Sorry my communication skills were low when I said that. I keep thinking in less deluded ways.

Hi, I posted something a while ago about how I wanted my family to develop into higher states of consciousness on the spiral. It gained a bit of criticism but I believe people don't really understand how most Purple/Blue families are working.. I had a fight with them because I cannot really endure their controlling behavior based on old notions of mannierism and moralism and closed-minded, dogma-based group/cult behavior, making favourites and lesser favourite people outside and inside their/our little "group". I told them of these and they got very offended and started yelling at me, became defensive and were in denial and claimed that they have to "raise me" to think like them, to be a GOOD PERSON! Fucking. RAISE. ME?? I mean I'm 22 not a little child.. They like to have a holier-than-thou and a subtle "we better than other people mentality" on how they approach other people, and are in denial about it when confronted. Things about how our family is better and more moral than other people out there, we know everything better, we know even what GOD WANTS, that bearded man in the sky, yeah, because "we know how His mind works, and He is angry if you do this or that, because oh wait wait, what if we are the some higher natured humans, the people next to God, almost like God is our genie in the bottle that punishes others at our will, because our psychological persuasion, mental captivity and religious emotional abuse aren't enough!" So I feel like they have this cultish behavior and air of culticness around them, being in this one family group, there being 1 family member who is the control of finances and moral conduct, then she has a loyal weak-willed, emotionally maltreated daughter next to her, having her help making the other people in the family obey based on shaming and emotional abuse based on religious ideologies. We are ONE family, only WE matter, others are "aliens". They call other people I talk to "stranger". When I say, hey, I am going with this person for a drink, I knew him for 5 years.. they are like wtffff with that stranger??? You better stay at home... you...... have a lot... to do. You do!... You cannot leave the house because we are the important people for you! We do everything to please you! You are one of us and we are the FAMILY! You cannot betray of just to sell your soul for a drink..!" They don't talk to other people and feel good about it, the head of the family, the oldest, isolating, keeping captive the other weaker people, who she have weakened through the years, through shaming and guilt-inducing by portraying masochistic tendencies... in a way of, I am sacrificing my body for you because I am willing to suffer when you aren't doing how I wish... Old notions are very prevalent, for example one night I slept in another home, at a boy I date, because it was getting late, we had other people over as well and they stayed late so he invited me to stay over for the night. When I got home, the old "I am torturing my psyche and body for your bad deeds" masochistic manipulative mind-control technique came, of my grandmother making motions of almost fainting, barely breathing, eyes making movements of hurt and portraying feelings of inner torture. It took like 2 days to calm her down and she is still full of resentment. I cannot even say dirty jokes, because if I do... they are like, this is not your personality, this is not you, you don't say things like that, these don't fit you, you cannot be like these, because you are a soft little girl (!!!) and cannot say this. And even this weird psychological abuse of being a "little girl"... like wtf at 22 I am an independent woman! They didn't want to let me work for like 3 years I was unemployed because of them... they kept saying I cannot work a normal job, I must be a secretary or informatician because I am "beautiful, intelligent, perfect, higher than others, better than others, more amazing than others, a special person..", which is NOT true, I am like everybody else or even worse! And I admit that! But for them, I must be the perfect little princess girl. Ew. So I tried a few jobs, I got employed because I was young.. but they kept hurting me with things like OH MY GODDD you are so tired and you will feel sick and this job isn't for you, you must work something that is higher class! because you are higher than others! So please help me, what can I do to open their eyes!?? They are in so much denial about reality..

What do you guys think? Are books necessary for a good life? Also I feel my accent is better in this one.

Love it. @hyruga Egotistic when I say lol? So an enlightened person is a perfect person who doesn't even laugh? I wasn't ironic with the lol, maybe it's just a habit for me to say lol. I might stop saying it. We live in a different era either way, so why not say lol? Everyone says it. @remember Hey thanks Yeah well it's because of my crooked teeth and I need to learn to use my tongue properly. I could talk for 30 minutes in english every day just for myself. Without stopping. Like a creative talk. I don't talk English much in real life, only Hungarian or Romanian. My german accent is very good though. Yes, I'm a polyglot And I learn polish and hindi recently, just don't have time every day.

My exact thoughts @SoonHei Thanks! I recently found a stage Yellow theologian and his books seem cool. His name is R. C. Spoul. Check him out!

I agree, if you're a doctor you could talk about it, but in a funny way, like girl, just study humor and all that stuff, study medical humor and memes and make your own videos around it. You will love your job more and even might become famous! I used to be famous before on my blog about subliminals and fame is really hard to maintain.. You have to interact with your followers all the time, and you also get a lot of criticism. Even on things you were not aware of before. Or things you cannot change. But however, I wish you good luck! I recently started a vlog type of thing called Aquarian Speaks on youtube and my first video recently gained about 100 views in abot 3 days. I was very happy for the small achievement. You can be famous if you want to. But remember that sometimes for some people it takes years of dedication. Remember Leo's first videos? He is so different since then. You never know where you start and where you end up. Can take 5 years of serious work to end up somewhere where you feel appreciated and famous. Also you can be famous in your social circles. On a dating site I got over 2000 messages. So 2000 people thought about me. I felt overwhelmed with all of that stuff. Too much attention from too many guys. And most of them were low on social skills and acted like jerks. Not to mention I couldn't read every message. At least I had guys to choose from. Fame has its good and bad sides.

@Arzola Exactly what I meant and the argument I was looking for. Thanks. For me, I still deepen my knowledge. Enlightenment is just a shift in the state of mind. Opening a portal of intuitive knowledge. But books and people and life is still needed to live. Cause why not? lol I love that zen quote

@hyruga I know lol, but I was curious what others think. To see your viewpoints and to connect with you guys. There are infinite perspectives. I'm not asking to know, I'm asking to connect. Not the same.

Struggle, suffering, un-sane-ity.