Everyday

I am at day 7.

200 views !!(in 6 days!!!!) Am i happier now than i was when i had almost 10(views)? nope i am not feeling better because of the views but AS a RESULT of the effort i put into this work i still struggle. it`s hard to abstain from tv series and unhealthy eating and to push my comfort zone. i didn't believe that i will have so many views in such a short time. but the views don't make my journey EASIER in any way 12 or 10.000 views? Who cares? this path wont get effortless and painless! i wasted the last 6 days checking the popularity of this thread only for the sake of it -i didn't actually contemplated this obsession! wow! maybe that`s why people are obsessed with the number of likes at their pics on Facebook and instagram.! there is a false sense of achievement! but no real gain in the REAL WORLD! hmmm does this applies to other people too? probably leo`s fame doesn't make his self actualization easier and so on the more you know... will i feel different at 500views?? nope. i hope that this post shuttered your expectations(if you had just started YOUR online journal)

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 3.6/5 ✔️no fap ( low urges) ✔️spending time outside ✔️daily journaling Eating healthy ✔️breakfast -1banana,1orange, 2 apples(latterly) ✔️lunch -vegan lentil soup and qinoua quinoa /apple pices/ goji berries salad ✔️dinner -2 scrambled egggs with pink salt leftovers,coconut solid oil,curry,oregano + cucumber slices and red beans 3 out of 3 (BINGO!) ❌ overeat ❌no lp course ✔️reading ✔️10 20+ seconds cold showers after worm shower( i have been taking these for a few months but i want to take solely cold showers) ✔️❌ 5/30m mind powers ✔️35/30m meditation ✔️5/10 concentration ✔️studying : 4h going to bed at a decent time ❌ How many times i checked out this forum? 3/4 was i obsessed over the views/popularity of this thread today? moderately obsessed OTHER: i forgot to mention that i started a conversation with a random girl. i hesitated at first. i asked her smth about her purse`s decorations. she did not seemed interested to continue the conversation. she minded her business and i felt frustrated that i had no idea how do go from hi to asking her out. i felt a little of resistance in the beginning. what if i am putting all these limitation on myself unconsciously? 7th day of NO TV SERIES/MOVIES: VERY LOW urges i am too tired for shamanic breathing this thread really helps me grow! yay i had to run some errands in the morning so i did not go to the coffee shop i talked about yesterday, but i went to one in at the mall i went on Thursday i was a little anxious to check it out so i studied for two straight hours on a spot i previously used in that mall. TWO HOURS! at home i would have got bored after 20m and went to the kitchen to eat or browsed the web/forum mindlessly. i felt a few negative emotions all regarding my frustration of not practicing pickup after i saw some girls. yesterday i bet 2 lemons that i wont meet with those people. well... i saw on of them but he did nor recognize me so it was ok. i felt hate and anger at first but i was mindful of my emotions and i got back to study and i even forgot about them. latterly i barely cared about them. than i eat some vegan soup and salad! delicious! than i went to that coffee shop (which was on the same floor). i was very anxious at first thinking that those people will think `` he isn't the kind of person who studies in a coffee shop``. no one gave a fuck. i ordered a cup of green tea all in all , this coffee-shop was AMAZING and I HAD AN AMAZING DAY OVERALL oh yea and no one asked me to leave or to but smth although i stayed for a few hours. the music was really good (EDM) i did my homework on the porch till it stared raining i hold the door for a waitress bc i wanted to go inside anyways and she had her hands full of dirty cups. i remembered what i have read yesterday about not being obsessed and needy. so i didn't glazed at her afterworlds like a 47yr old homeless rapist hoping that she likes me now or whatever. i felt so good about myself that i let it go and that she wont remember me as some creepy dude. the tea had too much caffeine because i felt a little nausea. (coffee disturbs my ability to focus properly and produces high abdominal discomfort--so i don't drink it) during the last hour there or so i felt amazing! extremely happy that i finally found a way to be productive and that i did not wait till college to study outdoors. also that i broke through that idea that i am not that kind of dude who studies outdoors. furthermore, i did what tom torrero (day game) did!! i positioned myself as the dudes who studies at coffeehouses regularly. Fart-wise: i positioned myself quite in the middle of the room whilst all the other people there(10) were staying in corners. therefore i could fart silently without being caught. i wanted to stay there more to study but i was tired and my attention span started to go south. when i finally left i thought that some of the staff is giving me the eye. probably it was all in my mind i made small talk with some people on the way to my home(very low anxiety, but i had a few doubts) how much anxiety/resistance i felt to write about these topics? 3.6/5 have i worried what people will think after reading this post? yes, 4.1/5

for later use; copy&paste style ✔️pushing my comfort zone daily /5 ✔️❌no fap ( urges) ✔️❌spending time outside ✔️❌daily journaling Eating healthy✔️❌ ✔️❌ ✔️❌ ✔️❌ overeat ✔️❌no lp course ✔️❌reading ✔️❌10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower ✔️❌ /30m mind powers ✔️❌meditation ✔️❌/10 concentration ✔️❌studying going to bed at a decent time ✔️❌ How many times i checked out this forum? was i obsessed over the views/popularity of this thread? OTHER: th day of NO TV SERIES/MOVIES: urges how much anxiety/resistance i felt to write about these topics? /5 have i worried what people will think after reading this post? /5

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 3/5 ✔️no fap (very strong urges) ✔️spending time outside ✔️daily journaling Eating healthy✔️❌❌ ❌i did overeat ❌no lp course ✔️reading (Daygame) 4m/30m mind powers ✔️meditation ✔️5/10 concentration going to bed at a decent time ❌ How many times i checked out this forum? 5 times or more OTHER: 6th day of NO TV SERIES/MOVIES: low urges; I wanted to watch a movie i felt on top of the world today i finally took action to fix one of my insecurities after delaying DOING IT for several years I really like about myself that i am relatively relaxed around strangers which is a priceless asset for pick-up. Of course, i have my bad days and insecurities of which i remember from time to time and than feel like crap and i get irrational thoughts if i do smth new which is out of my comfort zone. but i can fix them by journaling about what actually made me feel anxious. also mindfulness in those moments is good. i started my homework sooner than ever. tomorrow=3rd shamanic breathing session. i am spending to much time checking out how many views does this thread has accumulated since the last time i checked. tomorrow i will go to study at a coffee shop. i wander if it will be as productive as studying at the mall. i am anxious and worried to meet with some people i no longer speak with . i hate them . although i am reasonably relaxed around strangers i am really don't want to meet those people. what if the staff will kick me out for staying to long?lol nonsense. hmmm now, let`s flip this worrisome thought upside down with logic. i bet 2 lemons that i won`t meet them + and if i meet them i will have some negative thoughts and emotions to tackle and untangle. i met with them a few months back, it was not as bad as i imagined that it will be. i feel better now. a couple of insights i had whilst reading from Daygame: Don't send to many messages, don’t be needy. Neediness drive people away Some girls want casual sex as men do . Sex can just be sex. Not everyone wants a relationship. Library pickup- can you recommend me a book for a friend?? Don’t relay on alcohol for your successes. Although getting drunk at going to a club with no game in mind sounds good but the sex that you might get is most likely bc of luck and will happen just a few times. Go out at least once/twice a week. ``Worcester clubbing taught me that you can get laid randomly jut by being vaguely sociable and letting nature take its course, but that what you end up with was like fishing in a canal…it could be a salmon or a shopping trolley. Just by being social-leaving your house and speaking with to women- things would irregularly happen .`` Make a point of being sociable. Talk with everyone at college and on at every opportunity you get. Affirmation -Talk with everyone everywhere Again, it's ok to be clueless at the beginning of pickup , keep growing . No shame no growth You`ll struggle but you`ll have your successes Have rational goals, even after 100 girls you'll have nervousness at openings but it gets better with time lo. Experience. Aka it`s normal to be afraid. Open indirectly, attract with GENTLE teasing. Attract a woman through non-needy behavior and a display of value. build comfort and than seduce through leading and physically escalating. --add to vision board

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 1/5 ✔️no fap ( strong urges) ✔️spending time outside ✔️daily journaling Eating healthy ✔️(morning) ❌(lunch) ❌(dinner) ❌i did overeate ❌no lp course ✔️reading (Daygame-it`s amazing) 5/30 or Only 5m out of 30m of mind-powers ✔️meditation ✔️concentration going to bed at a decent time ❌ OTHER stuff: 5th day of NO TV SERIES/MOVIES: I was so so so close to watch a movie but i resisted after i realized that i don't want to disappoint the people that are reading my journal. Ha! i felt down bc i procrastinated which resulted in watching cringy vines for hours on YT but i come back at the end of the day to being productive i got wrapped up in negative thoughts about my future such as: ``i cant do pickup, i cant succeed at my work, i cannot deal with my problems perfectly``. i finally made that smoothie:(coconut flakes,oatmeal,1 orange, 1 apple and ashwagandha powder). It was delicious. 4150 days left of until i turn 30. 162 days left till college i have read some RSD field reports. i felt inspired. tomorrow i will go to a mall to study . it`s time to do my homework before the due date. i will try some coffee shops as well . i am spending to much time on this forum. i will let myself to read this forum only twice a day a couple of insights whilst reading from Daygame: tom torrero had far more problems to deal with regarding pickup than i have : He had depression, severe acne, panic attacks, no friends, thick ugly glasses ,literally zero social skills, overweight and so on. I don't even have a quarter of his difficulties. i don't deserve to complain and bitch about my baby/midget challenges. Being at a college doesn't make you grow. You do by taking action don’t be needy. - Cold approach will makes me stronger and effects in all other area in my life in a good way Talking with people is good for your mood. Do it more. Invite people out. I am confident in my abilities to make friends lol. He count even make friends. Stop whining. It`s never to late to improve your skills with girls. Why? Bc 5 yrs from now you'll be older. That`s why. we are the product's of our own thoughts .

check this out https://www.udemy.com/courses/personal-development/all-courses/ they have good courses but don't fall in their ``limited time/ only 5h left `` marketing scheme because almost all courses are $11 all year long

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily (i will assess how much i did it from 1 to 5) today was 4.5/5 ✔️no fap ( no urges) ✔️spending time outside ✔️daily journaling Eating healthy ✔️(morning) ✔️(lunch) ❌(dinner) ✔️ i didn't overate today ❌no lp course ✔️reading (notes) ❌mind powers ✔️meditation ❌concentration going to bed at a decent time ----nope ❌ ha-ha OTHER: 4th day of NO TV SERIES/MOVIES: moderate desire to watch some tv series. i did not organize my schedule properly so i had no time to do make that smoothie . There is some invisible unwritten rule on this forum ``dating and pickup is bad -concentrate only on enlightenment``. As a consequence i feel slightly worried and ashamed of talking about my dating /youngster problems to not be seen as dumb. But is all in my head and this journal keeps me on track so fuck it . Knowing that i can basically abandon this account at any moment without any real-life repercussions gives me courage to express myself, regardless of possible negative feedback. i watched a play held by teenagers at a small theater. It was so painful to watch that started daydreaming about being anywhere else but there. SO MUCH CRINGE But i had some deep insights so it was worth it in the end. i could not help but feel embarrassed and anxious just by witnessing it . i got triggered emotionally a couple of times. SO MUCH CRINGE I realized that i had avoided so many naturally embarrassing situations over the years at the point of forgetting that i have my own unresolved self-esteem issues. i thought that i am not cool enough to approach girls. nonsense. it was fear talking! i am in a conflicting state- i know that i am good enough and i think that i am not in the same time. i realized that i don't have to be somewhat different to pursue my goals. i have all i need right now. i will never feel 100% ready. i come to the conclusion that feeling embarrassed or ashamed or being unexperienced is fairly normal in the process of improving your social skills and especially at dating i wont improve in this area unless i adopt a growth mindset and i accept that it wont be easy + why wont i be feeling negative emotions whilst actually growing myself rather than feeling them from a default position of misery? i compared myself with the people on the stage although it makes zero sense since we had different difficulties and goals. moreover, a few of them where pretty good mainly bc they have been practicing their craft for years.(and so can I) i thought that i will have to drink and smoke at college to fit in and to banish feeling anxiety but i remembered that it`s not worth it long-term and not even short-term! i felt jealous that those people where on the stage, doing a extracurricular activity and smth with their life whereas i spent my leisure time in high school watching tv series and movies, listening to music,browsing around,daydreaming about that one day when i`ll do smth worthwhile with my time ,rooting at home and generally wasting time on things i cant even remember . i thought that i am not cool enough/i am not the kind of dude who attends extracurricular activities . for me acting classes seem such a difficult activity since you are bound to look ridiculous playing your character at first as you gain experience. on the other hand , it`s seems somehow interesting and a promising activity to use for my personal growth therefore, i have decided to take some acting classes during college, as a thorough comfort zone challenge ! HEY! I was pondering whether I should live in a college dorm room or in a rented apartment during freshman year? Which one is better suited for self-actualization? Will it be harder to meditate with all that noise around? What do you think about this?

✔️pushing myself today ✔️no fap ( high urges) ✔️spending time outside ✔️daily journaling Eating healthy i dint eat bread today! ✔️(morning)-2 bananas ✔️(lunch)- meat +fried legumes ❌(dinner)milk+a lot of cereals ❌ i overate only at dinner ❌no lp course ✔️reading( i have just finished ``The Rum Diary``) ❌mind powers ❌meditation ❌concentration ❌going to bed at a decent time 0ther: i felt guilty for not have started pick-up months and years ago. (again) 3rd day of NO TV SERIES/MOVIES: moderate desire to watch some MOVIES i will make that smoothie tomorrow.... now i am sorting my notes out from that book and i will read them once a week for a month i will start listening to reading ``the defining decade``Daygame`` tomorrow or smth like that i realized that i cant distinguish whether a salesperson is telling the truth about a product or not. My intuition tells me that he is honest but the facts tell me he`s lying i realized how much of a rabbit whole is to buy the decorations and furniture for your place. there is all that daydreaming that people will like your design and that you`ll feel a little peace of mind , but only after you buy all those objects. all you want are pleasant feelings,right? You can get good feelings and even more by meditating and doing countless positive habits for free! i asked a teacher various questions about her life : one of them was : ``Are your fellow colleagues gossiping and separated in different rival groups like in high school?`` she told me ``high school never ends``. Her colleagues talk about each other`s shit behind their backs just like teenagers do!! also, they aren`t a united community as i expected Of course that i know that people at large gossip regardless of age but i had high expectations from intellectuals Although they gossip more subtle way than younger people.

I really like your writing style. It resembles Jack Kerouac`s style. Check him out -I bet you`ll love his books. https://www.amazon.com/Lonesome-Traveler-Kerouac-Jack/dp/0802130747/ref=la_B000APV9LY_1_15?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1524237543&sr=1-15&refinements=p_82%3AB000APV9LY

✔️pushed myself really hard today ✔️ i have studied today like i used to do one year ago! ( i sat on a bench in a mall; i will go again; i felt inadequate to just waste time like i do at home since i went all the way to that place) ✔️no fap ( no urges) ✔️spending time outside ✔️daily journaling Eating healthy ✔️(morning)-nuts,1banana,1orange ❌(lunch) half of a tick (dinner) ❌ i almost overate ❌no lp course ❌reading mind powers❌ meditation❌ concentration✔️ going to bed at a decent time ❌ other i felt guilty for not staring pick-up 2nd day of NO TV SERIES/MOVIES: slight desire to watch some episodes i had zero motivation or energy to write this post but i forced myself -now i am proud of myself. to do : to write what i do in a day from dusk till dawn -in order to acknowledge how and where i waste time. i will make a smoothie tomorrow if it wasn't for that journal i would have watched those episodes yesterday i wanted to write about something else but i forgot the topic.

page 2, the Consciousness & Enlightenment section . It`s rated with 3 stars.

Meditation ✔️ 10m concentration practice ✔️ Pushing my comfort zone ✔️ going to bed at a decent time ❌ Spending time outside ✔️ Eating healthy ✔️ Reading (currently The Rum Diary) ✔️ No fap (faint urges but nothing massive) ✔️ Daily journaling✔️ No Lp course ❌ I failed to not overeat❌ Only 5m out of 30m of mindpowers ❌ I procrastinated before starting to do my homework ❌ I have started a 30days no tv series /movies challenge bc in the last 5 months i wasted ridiculous amounts of time watching them (i had a significant ego backlash and watching them was a way for me to distract myself from my challenges) . 1st day: i felt a moderate urge to watch some tv series (Ash and the Evil dead and It's always sunny in Philadelphia). I resisted. ✔️ (for later use; copy&paste style) ✔️ ✔️ ✔️ ✔️ ✔️ ✔️ ✔️ ❌ ❌ ❌ ❌ ❌ ❌

2nd trip report 30m; April 18th 2018 i didn't fell asleep this time i felt some tingling sensations in my hands inconsistent breathing Afterwards, i felt an inexplicable peace of mind . music:

trip report (30 minutes); April 9th 2018 music : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qx0qkoOd-fE&index=3&t=0s&list=PL2gLp9VvXVU_KmE3dZqzErqMgGT5-ZrFo It was difficult to keep breathing at a consistent speed. I wanted to quit. I said to myself that i can do it. I felt surprisingly calm twice. I moved my body and swallowed a few times I fell asleep at the very end . Afterwards, During the 10m of mindful observation i felt two distinct subtle mix of negative emotions but i couldn't identify them or what triggered them. What both of them disappeared and I felt calmer than ever.

@onacloudynight Great challenge! Thank you for this suggestion! I have just completed 7 days no INTERNET. It was the most productive week in months!

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Yes!

Is marijuana OK from a spiritual point of view? Can marijuana be used for: self-inquiry meditation contemplation enlightenment work body awareness( Indica strains) mindfulness Improving Your Health What do YOU think about this? More info here: The Effects Of Weed On Your Health https://herb.co/2015/09/17/the-effects-of-weed-on-your-health/ Cannabis is a forgotten food group according to these scientists https://herb.co/2017/12/14/cannabis-forgotten-food-group/

Crystals : Legit or BS ?

Share your personal wisdom and experiences with us if you want to help other fellow self-actualizers to grow. For example: If you skip a day or two from doing your routine is ok. Just analyze what went wrong and get back on track! At the beginning of 2016, I interrupted completely my meditation habit just because i skipped two or three days. I got back on track after eight or nine months. =)))

Just unfallow from all your friend's posts on FB. For me this worked . When I was seeing a pic of them or some check-in in a fancy place on my wall, I would automatically start to go down on a spiral of negative thoughts about my self-worth and on all kinds of victim mindsets. However, the best choice long-term would be to deactivate your account. Seeing certain people from your past every day won't help you to move on.