Everyday

@Star Net 2

@Mondsee Thank you a lot! I never thought about this! @Joseph Maynor Thank you and i will buy it in a few days. @Max_V Can you teach me how to swear in Dutch? @SFRL This makes sense now with your other posts that i read previously.

Martyrs (2008)

@zoey101 Thank you very much, I`ll look into it @SFRL Interesting idea Off topic: I always thought that you were American

I`m in too

8 June 2018, Thursday Friday vrijdag donderdag, acht juni 2018 ✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 3/5 ✔️no fap ( high urges) i was seconds away from fapping -i stopped just in time. i feel proud of myself ✔️spending time outside ✔️daily journaling ❌ overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌) ✔️❌reading ✔️14/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower ❌ /30m mind powers ❌/30 meditation ❌/10 concentration ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 3.30am ✔️ ❌ ❌Eating healthy some of the cards i created for anki on June 6th When And How To Transplant Seedlings Into The Garden

June 7th, Thursday 2018 20 January 1993 7 June 2018, Thursday Donderdag, zeven juni 2018 ✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 2/5 ✔️no fap ( high urges) ✔️spending time outside ✔️daily journaling ❌overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌) ❌reading ✔️16+/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower. It`s getting easier and easier. ✔️5 /30m mind powers ✔️4/30 meditation ✔️1/10 concentration ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 3AM++ ✔️ ✔️✔️Eating healthy I put another morning glory into the ground. I feel good about this. I poured just enough water not like the previous time Lol I want to start swimming classes, to do smth with this summer. I feel like I am wasting time I looked into one of the folders where i put resources on learning Dutch. i found a really cool product which i have totally forgotten about it. in addition to the previous plan i will learn this too. lessons : learning a bunch of similar words(all colors,fruits) at once doesn't work well also learning a bunch of unrelated words doesn't work either (pig-Buddha-toothpaste-swiss cheese) what works bes is learning seemingly unrelated words withing a a story (waiter- back-pain-floor-Friday-to stand) . June 6th, Wednesday 2018 woensdag, zes juni 2018 ✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 1/5 ✔️no fap ( high high high high urges) ✔️spending time outside ✔️daily journaling ✔️ overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌) ✔️reading ❌/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower ❌ /30m mind powers ❌/30 meditation ❌/10 concentration ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 7am!!!!!!!! ✔️ ✔️ ❌Eating healthy I am getting tired and sick and bored of watching those shows daily albeit I know that it`s not as entertaining as I would like it to be. I save up thread after thread daily thinking that one day I will read hem thoroughly. I will stop roaming around on this forum and use the search engine when I will actually need smth eg(nutrition, relationships) instead of saving up everything. I got angry today that I feel so much resistance to take care of my plants. I started learning Dutch since any language is fun to dabble into it. I will use anki, my old trust-able friend My one month plan (basically to learn as much words as I can, than to start with the grammar rules) To learn to count to ten The days of the week The months of the year Some of the most used 100 words in Dutch Random words Also, I want to have fun whilst learning them -so I use funny pics and memes June 5th, Tuesday 2018 Juni vijf, dinsdag 2018 Dinsdag, Vijf Juni 2018 When writing the date in Dutch you always write the day first, then the month, then the year 09 januari 2010 09/01/10 ✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 2.3/5 ✔️no fap ( no urges) ✔️spending time outside ✔️daily journaling ❌ overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌) ❌reading ❌/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower ❌ /30m mind powers ❌/30 meditation ❌/10 concentration ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 4am/5am ✔️ ❌ ✔️Eating healthy I sent all the papers needed for accommodation. I made a mistake. I found out how to convert pics into pdf-actually it’s a site. Pics garden (above&below) i felt resistance to water them for a few days. i need to work on this. regular and proper watering -no excuses June 4th, Monday 2018 ✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 2.9/5 ✔️no fap ( medium-rare urges) ✔️spending time outside ✔️daily journaling ❌ overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌) ✔️reading ❌/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower ❌ /30m mind powers ❌/30 meditation ❌/10 concentration ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 5am ✔️ ❌ ❌Eating healthy LESSON: apply for an internship

ACCOMMODATION PROCEDURE FOR COLLEGE (ADVICE) This is what i learned so far. if you are in my position right now you`ll find this useful first of all, calm down. it wont be as difficult as you might think apply for accommodation as soon as possible because most universities function on the basis of first-come, first-served also, some unis cant guarantee rooms for everyone! so hurry up after you get accepted to your first option college you will receive a link to the accommodation site (basically a list with the various options,types of rooms, prices, location check the distance between your place to the uni using Google maps albeit they state the time on the site. the time between these locations it`s usually longer than they state it on the site if you can choose your room in a student house please check on Google maps where your room it`s situated (facing the nosy street or not) in your application form ADD AT THE DETAILS SECTION a POSITIVE assessment of yourself to ensure that you will receive the studio/apartment/room by differentiating thyself from the other applicants (who don't write anything at all to advertise themselves). eg: non-smoker,friendly,clean&organized individual, i`ll pay in advance read these articles https://www.difc.ie/tips-student-accommodation-dublin/ https://university.which.co.uk/advice/student-accommodation/applying-for-university-accommodation

So like ok I will write in here posts for all of a week and than I will post them online. Why? Because I spend to much time writing them each night. Ha June 3rd, Sunday 2018 ✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 3/5 ✔️no fap ( high af urges) ✔️spending time outside ✔️daily journaling ❌ overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌) ✔️reading ✔️11/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower ✔️❌ /30m mind powers ✔️less than/ -6/30 meditation ❌/10 concentration ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 4am 5am+ ✔️ ❌ ❌Eating healthy ❌shamanic breathing i went to an event alone. i resisted a few day at first.it was interesting 10/10. sure i will do it again June 2nd , Saturday 2018 6 ✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 4.6/5 ✔️no fap ( high af and very twisted urges) ✔️spending time outside ✔️daily journaling ✔️ overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌) ❌reading ✔️11+/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower ❌/30m mind powers ❌/30 meditation ❌/10 concentration ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 4am ✔️ ❌ ❌Eating healthy although i stated that tv series and movies are not as entertaining as they sued to be -some of them are really really good, so i kept watching them the accommodation staff from my college is really really nice. they helped me a lot to clear my confusion and to realize that i should take it easy -i will find accommodation anyways i think that their site has a bug because i can see the accommodation forms they sent by clicking on ``apply`` links lol my fellow colleagues have between 17 and 26, some of them are from Vietnam,Canada,Japan,Germany,NL and Brazil so far there are two 17 year olds and they asked specifically to not have a woman allocated to their room lol some girl asked to have one male roommate and 1 female roommate lol . she seems really serious about it June -what already? , Friday 2018 5 ✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 3.5/5 ✔️no fap ( high urges) ✔️spending time outside ✔️daily journaling ❌ overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌) ❌reading ✔️21/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower ❌ mind powers ❌ meditation ❌ concentration ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 4am ✔️ ❌ ❌Eating healthy So I swiped through the accommodation site offered by my college I find the perfect studio. And even less than I would pay in a student house. I send an application mail and the owner said that it has been already rented out. Now I suspect that he lied to me. What if she doesn't like my nationality? What if I wont ever find another one? Bullshit!!111111!!!! I will!! I do not know what was his motive. Maybe it was the truth. It a rejection it`s normal. Even people from west Europe face difficulty in finding a place to stay/a room or an apartment. It`s not about me. It`s normal. Even west Europeans are rejected from some places. It`s not personal ! Anyhow, I applied for a room at a student house. Maybe it`s better this way I will go to an event alone this it what happens when you overeater them. their roots rot. Harvard University 2015 Class Day | Harvard University Commencement 2015 -these graduation taped ceremonies makes me think how fast time goes and that in no time i will be there 2018 May 31th. Thursday 4 ✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 3.6/5 ✔️no fap ( no urges) ✔️spending time outside ✔️daily journaling ✔️ overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌) ❌reading ✔️11/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower ❌ /30m mind powers ❌/30 meditation ❌/10 concentration ✔️❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 4am ✔️ ❌ ✔️Eating healthy I helped my neighbor to recondition his house together with his construction workers. It was quite demanding. I started at 9:15 and I finished at 22.00. I understood why they drink so much. Their work is very hard. It seems comic that they are viewed as inferior in society although they make all the effort to build houses and buildings whereas ``intellectuals`` are just jerking around doing nothing. I understood how lucky I am to have a supportive family and that I got into self actualization A bunch of mosquitoes bit me. An unidentified naughty bug bit me yesterday on the wrist of my right hand/sapping hand and now it swollen af -it looks like a fake hand or a poser hand or like it`s gonna explode with pus lol One of the workers told me to stay in school unless I want to end up like them lol . Yesterday I planted two my morning glory seedlings. I got emotional that I was unorganized and I got agitated during the planting process. I stepped on them because I put them on the ground beside the holes I was digging. Lol. PLS DO NOT PUT YOUR SEEDLINGS ON THE GROUND after you took them out of their pots. Anyhow, they are good and nice. Sarapr is right. I should focus on materialistic aspects of life/of the pyramid and than to move on more deeper topics. I will let kriya etc and enlightenment/ psychedelics /enlightment- spirituality books stuff for later. Maybe I ll do kriya from sophomore year or maybe end of freshmen year. I dont know yet. I cannot jump from the stage am AT to god level. I cannot go from stage red(in some places of my life to stage turquoise by ignoring my problems challenges 30m of meditation will be the same but I will upgrade to mindfulness to at least make some progress yo I will focus on: Physical exercise Traveling/gathering life experience Letting go of high school/the past/grudges Finding lp 100% certainty Social life etc/socializing Winning at college Accommodating in a new city/at college English language skills/Dutch skills Experimenting around Nutrition/cooking Style/clothing/self esteem. Fix my dating life/sex/pickup Dealing with old emotional wounds, self esteem issues etc/ building confidence Building a stable and strong ego I am anxious that I wont get a place at the accommodation provided by my college. Also, I am apprehensive about how I will deal with other students and whether my English is not enough to get into class and socialize at all I looked at myself in the mirror from my neighbor bathroom and I was like: I like my handsome mustache. It looks good. It makes me look funny. And I am a funny person. You can tell I will tell a joke before I tell it. I think I will keep it for a few weeks, maybe all summer. And yes is still feel ashamed of it but not like I used to. Hey! A comfort zone challenge is a comfort zone challenge Why are people so serious about their marriages and romantic relationships? They seem just jokes . I feel scarcity about this summer and what I have time to accomplish. I should take it easy* I will keep these baby vacation of mine (2 weeks to 1month) I will keep cooking, walking, reading, I want to start pickup I will learn the alphabet/basic notions in duck lol I wanted to write Dutch Revise english grammar In august I want to plan and read about what to do and don’t do in my freshmen year and other college knx. I have gathered a lot of links, screen shots etc. 2018, May 30th, Wednesday 3 ✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 2/5 ✔️no fap ( medium urges ) ✔️spending time outside ✔️daily journaling ? overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌) ✔️reading ✔️11/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower ❌/30m mind powers ✔️ 5/30 meditation ❌/10 concentration ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 4am ✔️ ❌ ❌Eating healthy I started to love my mustache. I find it cool, now that my beard grow a little. Maybe I will keep it. Maybe I will grow it longer .lol. I feel better about it. It complements my style. Off course I am still insecure with it but I push myself just by having it lol. I planted the morning glories. I was nervous. I had no idea almost what was I doing. I added to much water. I stepped on them bc I put them on the grown before planting. I watched in darkness 2018. I couldn’t bear to be blind. Being at the mercy of strangers….. That scene where she/blind woman get assaulted by some street boys/street rats… geeee, scary af.… being helpless is one of my biggest fears . I decided to learn basic Dutch during freshmen year although I said I will start from the sophomore year. Why mot? If it will be once a week I will still make progress. I was admiring the hot girls form some kind a vegan store, who where into clean eating and I was thinking that I have no chance with them . Bullshit!!!!! I am quite a chetck catch. I am well build, funny, smart,, Interesting, NOT OVERWEIGHT, not into rat race, I have a passion. I work with my hands/man work. I bought black maca, spirulina and cocoa POWDER smoothie: 99% cherries and cherries, cocoa powder lemon juice leftovers and honey smoothie: 99% cherries and cherries, lemon juice leftovers, a lot of honey ++++ cocoa powder,black maca, spirulina. BLACK MACA is the worst think i have ever tasted or drank. that smell........ just no look at that! two distinct colors! this is the next level shit smoothie 29/5/2018 2 ✔️pushing my comfort zone daily3/5 ✔️no fap ( no urges) ✔️spending time outside ✔️daily journaling ✔️❌ overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌) ✔️reading ❌/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower ❌ /30m mind powers ❌/30 meditation ❌/10 concentration ✔️go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 1am ✔️ ? ? Eating healthy do a 10day fast/2 day water fast. Read more about plant care. Stay outside like a maniac. Take meditation seriously. 30m daily. No excuses This it`s inspired from After reading quanti`s post I decided to really start kryia yoga, opening my chakras 125 days left till college this is how the land i will plant them looks like : 28-5-2018 1 ✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 2.5/5 ✔️no fap ( no urges) ❌spending time outside ✔️daily journaling ✔️ overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌) ❌reading ❌/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower ❌ /30m mind powers ❌/10 concentration ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 4am+ ✔️ ❌❌ Eating healthy ❌shamanic breathing

lol take it with some strong alcohol ``to help with digestion`` @PhilGR a smoothie or choose some fruits but avoid the ones that might get you to throw up due to your stressful state

that's quite interesting! the large majority of people need a cigarette outside due to social anxiety but they rarely smoke alone at home i thought you take them because of peer pressure

How many days it last?? @John Iverson

i recommend you to try Todoist. i have been using it for over a year. it`s perfect for setting reminders and planning. you can use labels,colors,folders,3 level importance of your goals etc. the coolest thing is that you can set you reminders to self-repeat everyday,once a week,every 6 moths etc.!

first of all good luck with your challenge! i am curious how do you plan to deal with your drug addiction. are you taking them with your friends? what will you have to do to stay clean?

May 27th, Sunday ✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 3.5/5 ✔️no fap ( no or low urges) ✔️spending time outside ✔️daily journaling ❌ overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌) ✔️reading ❌/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower ❌/30m mind powers ❌/30 meditation ❌/10 concentration ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 4am ✔️ ❌ ✔️Eating healthy i feel ashamed of my mustache but i realized that no one really cares which is cool. this shame it`s just in my head. one the the other side i do feel that i am pushing my comfort zone daily with this little guy on my face which is good. i am worried that people will think that i am some 20-year-old weirdo or that i look peculiar. anyways as i said it is a simple way to push my comfort one and it looks funny and i forget about it sometimes i passed those exams but i don't feel happy af. i thought that i will. i feel normal and even worried for my future there . isn't this funny? i basically fulfilled one of my biggest dreams (to move abroad ,in West Europe -this is a big thing here,in E Europe ; This place is rife with corruption, unjustice injustice,poverty and carrer career limitations etc). i went with my family to a restaurant and i paid for everything -this made them happy. this was a way to thank them for all the help and emotional&financial support they have offered me over the course of this year. they are kind people -to tell you the truth i wouldn't have done so many sacrifices for myself if i was in their shoes or for my child as they did. i simply cannot grasp how can you be so kind with some creatures who drain your money,life and energy and they end up banishing you from their life. they could have used those money to make themselves happy -at least i would have done so. i don't feel close to any of the members of my family . i remember once when i was younger that i figure out that if i am nice with them and pretend that i care fr them they will give me what i need to become independent . i don't even know how i have come to be this way. i think i cared and loved all of my family when i was very young. now i am always looking to realize my dreams and goals no matter what even if this means to hurt my siblings or my parents. i pretend to care for them just because i know that i might need them one day. i cannot grasp how other people are so close to their families and would sacrifice for them -i know i wouldn't. how does loving your family feels like anyways? how love feels like? like a crush? hmmmmmm i am selfish to the bone. i paid for the restaurant today only because i know that this is a good investment and they/ll give me 10 times more money in the years to come comparing with what i paid today. i will work out this selfishness gradually. maybe i am curing it by meditating,shamanic breathing, and doing other consciousness work. maybe i need to be selfish at some level in order to grow. whilst i was reading in my fav park today by the lake random thoughts pooped up. thoughts regarding expected happiness,college, about the passing of time, being young, expectations vs reality, living in the present, looking back to ``the good times/best times or years of your life``, what meters etc. I/ll look back to these years, to my early 20s with nostalgia 20 years from now. but now i don't feel the magic of being young nor how important is that i got into personal development at such a young age. i wonder sometimes how me my life would be like if i wasn't into self actualization. i suppose i will still have shity friends, i would be drinking, i would eat totally unhealthy, i would have no idea how much i can improve, i would be doing shit but i will have no awareness about it, i will have quit trying to learn English at all, i would have chosen a random-good-sounding-degree instead of fallowing my passion. owo wow harry and marion where taking about their lofty dreams of traveling the world and opening up several coffee shops one day. i thought; lol they are filthy drug addicts -they wont make it. than is stuck me: i am like them. i have lofty dreams but i do not take MASSIVE action towards making them REAL. i need a solid plan a-z style with baby and ant and toddler and mini gaols and larger ones. can you believe that 10 yrs from now, the year i was 19 will seem cool and nostalgic and i will speak about it like ``those good times``??? i asked myself a few times how do i imagine bing a college student is like. i will quote this after some time in college. it will be so satisfying to see the differences between my expectations and reality. lol. here i go: i think that i will be fun petty much all the time I/ll be productive 24/7 it will be somehow easier to work on my goals just because i am college I/ll push myself daily I/ll magically change my habits and personality traits I/ll get along with people it will be 10 times easier to approach a girl just because i will be a college student I/ll have high grades I/ll feel free I/ll feel excited to cook for myself I/ll be making progress easily I/ll have lots of time to do self actualization (shamanic,yoga,meditation,etc) I/ll deal with procrastination better than i do now/ i wont procrastinate at all I/ll feel motivated and good daily I wont feel bored I/ll eat very healthy i wont be affected by peer pressure i wont care what people think of me at the point of not making myself happy like i did in high school i wont stay at home all day I/ll study a few hours per day at a library/coffee shop i wont feel anxious in pubs i wont feel not cool enough because i do not go out in shmancy fancy places i wont feel ashamed that i don't have instagram/snapchat or that i barely use facebook and that i dont even have a profile pic i wont feel ashamed for feeling bored of re-installing snapchat or that i am thinking that instagram is overrated and plain boring i wont feel ashamed that i don't get constant message and app notifications on my phone i wont feel quitting I/ll feel motivated to get a job I/ll finish my assignments before due time and i will never fail an exam I/ll be happy i wont be affected by my past i wont want to show off my achievements in front of high school colleagues I/ll keep mediating watching tv series as a form of escapement will be non-existent I/ll get my driver license in between first and second year of uni i need to shave the hairs between my nose and my mustache i felt the same. that i am not good enough or that having a beard is not who i am. for him as for myself having a beard, long or even short is about proving myself that i can become the person i want to be. also i learned to experiment more with my haircut and beard. (i kinda started doing this--which is a stretch from my comfort zone)

May 26th, Saturday ✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 2/5 ✔️no fap ( NO urges) ✔️spending time outside ✔️daily journaling ❌ overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌) ✔️reading ❌/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower ❌ /30m mind powers ❌/30 meditation ❌/10 concentration ✔️❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) ❌ ✔️❌Eating healthy i felt pretty bored today. i watched some movies and episodes of a tv show but it just bored me even more. watching them is just not as fun as it used to be. Anyways i made a smoothie and read outside. i plan to this more as well as going out on a daily basis (eg museums,parks,coffee shops, cooking etc) smoothie ingredients: 80% strawberries, 10% cherries , one orange , 2 spoons hemp seeds, 2 spoons Ashwaganda powder and 2 fat spoons of honey parsley seedlings . i should have put more soil. this morning glory just grew up here randomly near the fence. maybe i put a seed in some of the posts and old soil that my father trowed away a few week ago. wow. this one lol. i added soil over the initial one and this little guy grew in the dark. hahah they look like this because i forgot them in full sunlight again after i watered them deeply. they boiled. they look like this because i forgot them in full sunlight again after i watered them deeply. they boiled.

@PhilGR https://www.udemy.com/courses/personal-development/memory/

you have to cut the seedlings that develop slower than the others from each cell . sue only the strongest ones. and again do not sow as many as i did and keep a safe distance between them. have faith in them that they will grow eventually. parsley seedlings *NOTE THAT THESE PICS ARE OVER A WEEK OLD. I WILL UPLOAD CURRENT ONES TOMORROW.

GARDENING LESSONS I have been nurturing Phalaris arundinacea for almost a year (even in winter in my house in pots and plastic glasses) with no success . it just doesn't flower . that`s how it was supposed to look like flowering : fennel seedling : 198888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888885 fuck yaah snt ge.mp4 all of them : i am not allowed to put too many pics in one post alone (4.88MB max) so i will make a second one

i am back ! ✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 1/5 ✔️no fap ( low urges) ✔️spending time outside ✔️daily journaling ✔️ overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌) ❌reading ✔️a lot /10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower ✔️ /30m mind powers ✔️/30 meditation ✔️/10 concentration ✔️ ✔️ ❌Eating healthy ○ ○ so i felt very resistant to trim my beard to 0.1 and to keep the mustache. ``will my family make fun of me?``. They said that i look like a Mexican lol. I think i look funny. and on top of that the main goal of this mustache is to get out of my comfort zone. Everything will be fine and my comfort zone will expand which is all i want + i will have fun just by reminding myself that i have a funny mustache lol i watched a few episodes and movies. they barely entertained me . now that i allow myself to watch them , watching them is no more entertaining. a few hours ago i chose to take a shower sooner than to watch another episode. yesterday i thought of watching movies till 5am but i chose to sleep instead -it is not as appealing as it used to be. it annoying and amazing in the same time . i spent a few hours just talking care of my seedlings . i just felt happy .anyways, i will take a break from studying and doing smth productive although i feel like wasting time . i have to take this break. my-future-fall-2018-self ill thank me. i guess i will do what at least i know that i enjoy : walking,taking care of plants,spending time outside, reading and cooking. i need to know myself better. this break will last anywhere from 2 weeks to 1 month i guess i will fill like being productive? However i will keep doing shamanic breathing, meditating,mind powers and concentration practice

i am back ! ✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 1/5 ✔️no fap ( low urges) ✔️spending time outside ✔️daily journaling ✔️ overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌) ❌reading ✔️a lot /10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower ❌ /30m mind powers ❌/30 meditation ❌/10 concentration ✔️ ✔️ ❌Eating healthy ○ ○ so i felt very resistant to trim my beard to 0.1 and to keep the mustache. ``will my family make fun of me?``. They said that i look like a Mexican lol. I think i look funny. and on top of that the main goal of this mustache is to get out of my comfort zone. Everything will be fine and my comfort zone will expand which is all i want + i will have fun just by reminding myself that i have a funny mustache lol i watched a few episodes and movies. they barely entertained me . now that i allow myself to watch them , watching them is no more entertaining. a few hours ago i chose to take a shower sooner than to watch another episode. yesterday i thought of watching movies till 5am but i chose to sleep instead -it is not as appealing as it used to be. it annoying and amazing in the same time . i spent a few hours just talking care of my seedlings . i just felt happy .anyways, i will take a break from studying and doing smth productive although i feel like wasting time . i have to take this break. my-future-fall-2018-self ill thank me. i guess i will do what at least i know that i enjoy : walking,taking care of plants,spending time outside, reading and cooking. i need to know myself better. this break will last anywhere from 2 weeks to 1 month i guess i will fill like being productive? However i will keep doing shamanic breathing, meditating,mind powers and concentration practice

Your heart feels my ass over and over. fuck yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i passed the chemistry exam too. lol . i thought i will fail. i barely feel relieved. i still feel tense and worried. what if i wont find accommodation>? what if my English skills are not good enough? will i even pass the first year? during these exams i thought of shaving my beard but keeping the mustache. lol i will do this. this makes no sense.

i passed at math with 60 /100. the limit was 5.5 lol . i need to take life more seriously. i have never been so stressed and worried. i guess this it how it feels to really care about smth. hmmm intersting

lol i passed the math exam. i had to use my intuition heavily since some of the questions WHERE NOT EVEN IN THE CURRICULUM. fuck you all the goats from Antarctica. i literally had a problem with how much milk a 45kg teenage goat can give( btw it was way more complicated than this) . lol