RawJudah

Anyone heard of Nicholas Carr? He’s got a great new book out that explains how social media warps our mind. This ties in with what Leo says in his recent blog post about social media.

It’s like we behave like animals until we realise that there’s more to behaving like an animal, and then we look for other stuff

@gettoefl hahaha I was half joking. But you know what I mean

The spiritual stuff all these gurus talk about sound SO good. And here we are, the idiots at the bottom, barely able to make ends meet and barely able to get laid like popstars. Where do we even begin…?

@Leo Gura so most of us are beneath the sex and the money making… We’re just existing? Can we shoot for truth before getting laid like a rockstar with millions in the bank? Or does it have to work the other way round for most of us?

@El Rizzidente I totally get that. Having a crap holiday is what most people do, and being a tourist isn’t worth it. A lot of those touristy countries are a gold mine for the gullible. Maybe I should move to a different country. I’ve been in the UK all my life and only had the typical holidays here and there. But it seems to me like people eventually settle in their home country and stay put until they die. In the meantime my friends are avoiding settling down but also having such a fun time travelling the world and getting out there.

Right, so, I’m completely bored with life. I feel like there’s so much more out there. I feel stuck but free at the same time. A few of my friends have been travelling around the world and said it’s great, but they all end up coming back and living a normal kind of life like I do. But they seem to come back glowing and full of stories to tell. Or is this complete nonsense? Should I just stay put and carry on with my normal, dull life? Is there a cost to living a fun and exciting life travelling the world? Because most people end up settling down somewhere and living a normal life. As sad as that may seem… I’m 31 by the way. Any reply would be extremely helpful because I need other peoples perspective on this.

Well like I said - I go to work, I come home, I eat, I go to bed. That’s shit isn’t it? And here I am on the actualized.org forum talking to people who aren’t doing that and are living amazing lifestyles (I’m guessing). I can’t think of a business, I don’t bang hot chicks at the weekend, I don’t really know what my values are! At the moment I kind of just exist, not really knowing what to do. And would my values be mine anyway? It seems like everyone on here has the same values, and not anything that originally came from them.

Also - I should be grateful for what I do already have. Even though my current life is totally shit, it could always be worse. It’s funny to me now that last week I was in a panic when I first started this topic, I was on the verge of giving up altogether. And then now I’m a lot better and I’m grateful for what I have. Sorry folks!

Right, folks. I’ve been thinking a lot recently and came to the realisation that there is no escape. Maybe travelling is an escape. How is it possible to escape from work and somewhere to live? There isn’t a way - is there? Even the countries I’d travel to - most people are working with shelter over their heads. However - it worries me that I will completely waste my life. The mundane boring life does suck and I wish there was another way. But if this is what most people are doing, and I’m doing it too, then so be it. Maybe I have to accept it? I know this post is a bit old now, I apologise for bringing it to light again for anyone here that wishes to reply.

What about socialising your ass of in our 30s? I did lots of socialising in my 20s but now I’m 31 it’s fizzled out a bit. I kind of like the peace and quiet now

@Salvijus I was half joking. Maybe I do need a life purpose or something. Have you found your life purpose and are making a living from it? To me having a serious life purpose seems so rare. Even if everyone on this forum says they’ve found theirs.

@Salvijus what to buy with money saved though? Material objects? Dinosaur skeletons?

@NewKidOnTheBlock what I meant was that I’ve got enough money for a deposit on a house in the UK, which means a fair bit of money. You couldn’t buy one outright unless you were a millionaire. I’d be paying it off over 30 years.

@Michael569 well if you’re in the UK like me then you know the deal with house prices over here, it’s mind boggling. Not all my friends have gone travelling, only a few, and they make it sound so good. I will have a word with my boss to see if I can go on a sabbatical but they’re trying to get rid of people so I doubt I’ll be aloud back haha. Maybe I should stop listening to those travelling friends? It’s hard to think for ourselves these days isn’t it? And the idea of ‘settling down’ scares me, especially in this day and age where literally nothing is permanent. And yeah, my social skills aren’t great - but who’s are? Talking to random strangers in the street doesn’t sound like a good idea to me. Do you coach? Your replies to this thread have been the most helpful. You seem to know a lot of stuff about life.

Or am I getting lost in other peoples fun exciting lives? I know that most people don’t quit their job to go backpacking around the world. It looks so fun and I’ve had friends tell me about all the sex they’re getting and how much free time they have whilst travelling. I still exist as an ego. I haven’t reached the point where life is magical and we’re all one and there isn’t any monkey mind going on.

@Michael569 this is great help, thank you. All the replies here are helpful, thank you to everyone. What I forgot to mention is that I’m a normal dude with a job. I didn’t go to university, I’m not an academic. I was originally saving up to buy a house, and I’ve probably got enough to buy one. But now that seems pointless. There are people out there living amazing lives and they aren’t working a normal job, they aren’t saving up to buy an overpriced house. Deep down I think I have a weak ego. How the hell do I gain a healthy ego when all I’m doing is working and saving up for a house? There is literally no growth there at all. I talk to people, I try to be nice and friendly to people, I’m not going out partying anymore or doing crazy stuff. So yeah, that’s it. And every now and again I think about suicide simply to get out of this mess. It sometimes seems like a valid way out. Because the way the world is going it can’t be good. As a normal dude with a job - it ain’t great.

@Michael569 I might have to. My boring mundane life at the moment is making me feel like I’m melting away. And over here in the UK it’s bleak. But if I do go - I’ll always have in the back of my mind about coming back. And then what? Back to the mundane shit I’m in right now? Is this how everyone lives?

@Carl-Richard I know how it all sounds. I’ve been working since I was 18. Now I’m 31. I’ve had plenty of fun along the way and plenty of holidays. But quitting my job to go travelling is a different ball game. It sounds so good. I just wanted other peoples perspective on it.

@koops awesome reply, thank you. I totally get it, banging chicks can be a lot of fun. And the whole ‘settling down’ thing scares the hell out of me. I’m 31, not 21. So it’s constantly going round in my mind whether I should travel or not. I didn’t go to university. I’m a regular dude with a job. All I seem to do is work, and there’s people out there not working and living amazing fun lives!

@koops I use words like that because that’s literally what it’s become. Work, come home, eat, go to bed. Even at the weekends I hide away. Like I said I’m 31, no real responsibility but settling down is nipping at my heels. What is there to do whilst travelling though? Partying? Banging chicks? Is that the fantasy of travelling or the reality of travelling?

Mark Manson Troy Casey (certifiedhealthnut)

Of course it’s getting worse. Not the internet - but social media. It’s become more interesting than talking to people in real life, because you’re safe on social media. You can hide behind a screen and say what you want. Our real life social skills are fucked. You try to talk to a teenager these days, it’s like getting blood from a stone… And you try getting off it! Within a couple of days you’ll be back on Facebook. The Jack is out of the box, and he isn’t going back in. It’s too late. We’ve woven the internet and social media into our physical lives.

Haha yeah. The dating posts are almost cringeworthy… The oldest posts on here were amazing. Thoughtful questions were being asked.

It’s too easy to simply listen to Leo’s videos but not actually do the practices. We don’t want to sit there and meditate for an hour…