Carl-Richard

Hallucinations are more common in the transition between waking and sleep. As for the nightmares I had in childhood, they were otherworldly, contradictory and demonic, but still they had a structure to them. I would dream that I was an infinitely thin needle that was stretched infinitely far in both directions, for some reason in my living room suspended in mid-air together with other needles, feeling the sensations of being poked by these needles; pure horror and agony. Then, the dream would progress to a dark underground world of what I can only describe as infinitely large, meaty and organ-like round structures, and they were kind of fractal in nature, like one of those Mandelbrot set zooms. They were infinitely heavy, and it felt like I was being squeezed and choked by the pressure of these things on top of me. I would need to become a painter to really describe these things. Then, the dream would progress to a peaceful and serene bright space without any defined boundaries with a tiny translucent chair sitting next to a single translucent wall with a window in it, with a wind gently blowing amidst white angelic curtains. I would have a sort of dissociated calm-after-the-storm feeling, sort of numb and shook by the previous parts of the dream, but it was very calming. At the same time, I would sometimes be struck by a supreme feeling of wrongness, that everything was upside down but still acting like gravity was holding things in place. This dream would repeat many times during my childhood.

This video is a good example of being on the more psychotic side of the spectrum: hyper-social, witty, conspiratorial and a bit weird. I see myself so much in John Zherka when he starts talking about the weirdest things and everybody else is like "oh cmon, stop".

There exists a very reliable test for autism created by Simon Baron-Cohen, the cousin of none other than Sasha Baron-Cohen (creator of Borat). It involves reading people's emotions by only looking at their eyes. Reading the mind in the eyes test: https://s3.amazonaws.com/he-assets-prod/interactives/233_reading_the_mind_through_eyes/Launch.html My score was surprisingly high (34/36), meaning I can read emotions pretty well. This only adds evidence to the idea that autism exists on a spectrum with psychosis, as I would generally place myself on the more psychotic side of that spectrum. According to this theory, psychosis is associated with picking up social cues and making abstract inferences based on those (which is required for reading emotions and understanding what other people are thinking, a.k.a. "mentalizing"). Psychosis can be thought of as when these mechanisms go into hyper-drive and you become very paranoid about every slightest detail and spin grand narratives and conspiracy theories out of thin air ("she looked at me weird -> she is working for the government -> they're coming for me"). Meanwhile, an autistic person will need very concrete information to make any sort of conclusion, which might keep them more grounded in some ways, but which might also hinder social interactions. So there are pros and cons for both. Regardless, we're all unique individuals

Alan Touring was an alien? ?

Heaviest classical piece performed on electric guitar.

Mmm, Fi and Te

What about the meta-worldview of holism? You need to integrate all sides and become whole

"He is playing a character, guys" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Getting nazi vibes (not because you're German ?). If you can write in English, you're Western enough to stay here It's good that you're progressing on integrating your inner Satan, but you need to keep it under control sometimes

Leo is a Westerner, his content is Western, his forum sections are Western, etc.

This forum is practically Western. If you're on here, you're immersed in Western thinking. Also, because we're a Western forum, we don't exclude people from discussions based on their background

Nah. I didn't live 10 000 years ago, but I sometimes like to discuss how life was like back then. Nobody is gate-keeping me about that.

I'm a Norwegian talking about US politics and nobody is harassing me about it.

I know this isn't that relevant from a global perspective, but there is this small but prominent political party in Norway called Rødt ("Red") who have been strongly anti-NATO since their conception, and their bigger brother Sosialistisk Venstre ("Socialist Left") have been back and forth on the issue for half a century and is now reconsidering their pro-NATO stance since the Ukraine war. EDIT: Oops, they're in fact anti-NATO today. They were reconsidering whether Ukraine should be given NATO membership or not (they used to be against it).

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I submit that enjoying life and understanding life are synergistic. If you're carrying a heavy backpack, and it hurts and all you can think about is wanting to put it down, you don't have much time for proper understanding, and even if you think you do, your understanding is filtered through the constant aching. And your understanding can help you to put the backpack down.

Technology needs wisdom to not be corrupted. When were given self-awareness and conceptual thinking, we unlocked the power of technology, but it happened too soon, because we lacked the wisdom to use it well. That is why the story of the Garden of Eden was a fall.

You don't have to try to read my mind if you're bad at it.

My parents named me Carl-Richard (by combining the first names of my two grandfathers), which is such an odd name. It has definitely had many weird psychological effects on me.

You can't balance personal responsibility and compassionate care?

Who is talking about looking forward? lol "plz gimme insight"

Adults know how to properly balance the two.

Why should insights be lost?

How so?

When you listen to people like Rupert Spira, or people who are adept at these practices, what can you firstly feel from them on an energetic level, and secondly, what can you observe about them on a behavioral level that you think is admirable? If you can identify those things, that should be a motivation enough to continue the work, and it's probably a big reason why you started the work in the first place. Distractions will always pop up. That is life. Just go back to the reason why you were drawn to the work in the first place if you need to remind yourself why you're doing it.