Alexop

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  1. This is a sketch, it will become an article on coming website. It starts to get shape, I am curious of you thoughts. Excuse the grammatical errors, I'll fix them soon. I only speak english on the internet If you find yourself at the table with some leftist-leaning hippie people and you dare to open this female vs. male topic, most probably you'll ring all their sexist patriarchy alarms. And I understand why, it is a topic that requires a lot of research and contemplation, a lot of logical analysis, and as we know them, they are not the best friends with logical approaches. What is their approach to this topic? Well, they might say something like this: "Yeah the traditional beliefs that men are like this and women are like that, these are outdated beliefs from traditionalist religious people and they always tend to favor men over women, I think everybody is different man and we should embrace every individual as it is regardless of gender. We need to break free from stereotypes man...". Although their point is valid to some extent, you don't need more than two neurons in order to hold this position, positions like: "do not generalize"; and "just accept the person as it is"; yeah that is cute and all of that, but I always had a feeling that something is missing. I observed closely how men behave when they meet at a table, and how women do it. You might say we behave differently because of cultural expectations and norms not because of our nature. Of course, culture has a lot to play here but is it really only cultural determinism? If you have a point about this topic, you might be put in two categories: the progressive hippie category which I mentioned now which advocates for cultural determinism, or the conservative traditionalist perspective which advocates for complete biological determinism. Both lack complexity, depth and nuance, we are influenced by both biology and culture and I'll explain why. Here I am after more than two years of researching this topic, I don't even know where to begin. I'll begin with the beginnings of life, I found research which says that on average, when a baby boy forms in his mother's womb, he gets a testosterone injection in the body, which means the brain receives it also. What testosterone does to the brain is remarkable, it makes the individual behave in a slightly more autistic manner. Scientists measured the pre-natal testosterone levels of individuals and correlated them with increased autistic behaviors in childhood. Nature is not 100% precise, so baby girls can also get a high dose of testosterone before birth, leading to a more boysh girl and nothing wrong with that. Here I agree with hippies, everbody is different and need to be accepted as they are man… This means that the base brain, the one unaffected by testosterone, is the feminine brain, and I'll explain what femininity is throughout this article. The "extreme male brain" theory of autism, proposed by psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen, suggests that individuals with Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD) exhibit an exaggerated version of typical male cognitive patterns, characterized by a strong interest in systems and a reduced emphasis on social cognition. ASD is more common in males than females. If you give children a lot of toys you'll notice that girls on average will choose to play longer with dolls and they tend to imagine their feelings and thoughts, whereas boys tend to play with constructional and mechanical toys. Notice when I mention the words: "most of them", "on average" and "tend". There are no black and white distinctions in this article so don't throw eggs yet. How about when the children grow up? Of course, they will go through the renowned period of puberty when men get another big dose of testosterone in the system, which makes them grow taller, grow hair everywhere, grow bigger and stronger muscles, and get a lower pitched voice. Whereas women get a good dose of estrogen which makes them beggin the menstrual cycles and develop the typical feminine traits of wider hips and bigger breasts. What about the behavior though? Let's begin with women, shall we? They tend to talk more, are more social, are more in tune with other people's feelings and they tend to choose fields and jobs where emotional intelligence and socialization play an important role. Fields like psychology, human resources, healthcare, and very interestingly they get attracted by science fields where they study people or animals like sociology, veterinary science and gender studies. Much less to computer science and programming. Now does it mean women can't be good programmers? Of course they can, but many won't find it very enjoyable. Fun fact about the ICF coaching course I went to: coaching is an EQ based profession, the trainers were two women and the attendees were 7 women... and me. And this happened in Sweden, the big mamma of gender equality. Sweden has made considerable efforts to equalize the gender gap in professions, but the result was the opposite, the gap is even bigger in Scandinavia than in more traditional countries. People will choose to work what they want to work regardless of your equality ideals and ideologies. In childhood I was the stereotypical boy interested in engineering and technology, I dreamed of becoming an aircraft engineer. But in my teenage years, after experiencing bullying and PTSD, I was forced to fix myself, and under that process, I became extremely passioned about personal development and philosophy. I still watch engineering documentaries but my heart is now in figuring out the world and helping people reach their best potential, so now I have a hybrid things-people passion. Big life events can change your interests. Let's take a look at the gentlemen for a minute. Asperger himself said that in order to become a successful scientist, you need a touch of autism. Nicola Tesla might have died a virgin, and Albert Einstein was late to talk and said he was never very interested in socialization. Men are on average more individualistic and less social. Have you noticed how many men are advocating for libertarian ideals like tax cuts, deregulations, free market, and private propriety? Whereas more women than men tend to advocate for socialistic ideals like welfare state, tax increase, and more regulations. Women's holistic, less autistic brains make them more cooperative and more compassionate towards those in need, for animals and environment. Statistics show a much higher density of autism-spectrum individuals in so called "IT hub" locations like silicon valley, and they are mostly men, you guessed it right. The pay gap between men and women is influenced by this, besides the still prevalent prejudice against women in patriarchal societies. Tech jobs are on average much better paid than HR or healthcare jobs, another influence is that men negociate their salary more aggresively and are much more confident in their capabilities even if in reality they pretty much suck, they can at least appear convincing. Testosterone makes them much more competitive in the market, if this is an appreciated and valued character trait in their social circle, motivating them to climb the ladder and work until they fall sick. You see, there is a misconception that testosterone makes all men more aggresive. Yes it can be so if their social circle appreciate aggresiveness and curelty, if they lived in a getto neighborhood the last 20 years, then yes, testosterone will make them more aggresive as it makes them compete and seek the appreciation of their peers. But if a man lived in a budhist monastery the last 20 years, testosterone will only motivate them become even more kind and meditative, as these qualities make them more appreciated there. Want a less aggresive man? Then don't date a gangster for god's sake. Now that we have an idea of what testosterone does to the brain, let's take a look at what estrogen does to it. Estrogen is renowned as the main female hormone. John Grey presents in his book: Beyond Mars and Venus, the whole hormone dynamics that happen in a woman's menstrual cycle and how it changes her mood throughout the month. I won't delve into that here, I just want to skim the surface of how estrogen affects men's and women's lives. I'll quote a note I took from his book: "When encountering mild stress women increase estrogen which connects them even more to their emotions, men increase testosterone which detaches them from emotions. Both sexes increase estrogen when they encounter a lot of stress. Men tend to do actions which increase testosterone to get rid of stress, women tend to choose activities that increase estrogen, progesterone, and oxytocin". Boom. What are the activities that increase testosterone? Well, the activities that disconnect you from your emotions and make you feel competent and appreciated like skillfully riding your motorcycle or discussing the last football match with your male friends in your man cave. Again, it is not black and white, I also heard of women who go into their male side when feeling stressed, I heard of a woman running 30 km a day in stressful periods. But in general, when a woman is stressed and she is in close contact with her needs and intuition, she'll want to do activities that connect her with her emotions and with people, activities that increase her estrogen and oxytocin. Like reading a romantic novel, watching a love movie, or calling her best friend or therapist and telling her how she feels and what happened. You'll wonder why would men want to increase their testosterone and women their estrogen? John Grey advocates that men need to go into their male side to be able to relax and get rid of stress whereas women need to get into their female side. Shortly, men feel good being men and women being women. Everybody has his or her male and female side. Now in progressive countries like Scandinavia, we see a lot of women tapping in their male sides by getting in leadership roles and stressful positions which crave a lot of comptenece. In Sweden, on average, twice as many women than men go out on sickleave because of stress and burnouts. I am not yet ready to give a verdict here as I am still reasearching the subject. There are nieche cases of feminine men and masculine women who love being like that. And even individuals who want to transition to the opposite sex. These are rare cases, I honestly do not know enough to discuss about this eighter, what I know for sure is that you need to find your authentic self. If you really feel that you are the most authentic when identifying as non-binary, then do it. In this article I discuss what the main trends are. The different ways men and women behave and respond to stress are very important especially in relationships. If your man comes home stressed and wants to go take a beer with his buddies let him go instead of continously asking him what went wrong, he does not want to speak with you because he wants to dettach from what happened until he replanishes his testosterone and feels better. If your woman comes back home sad and stressed on the other hand, ignoring her will not help, because in contrast with what you use to do when stressed, she wants to connect with her emotions and have someone to support her. And the way you as a man solve a problem is a bit different from how women do, she won't need solutions and advice at the moment, she only wants emotional support and understanding. You can be Mr. fix it all another time. If we do not get these critical differences and play the hippie game of everybody is unique, the relationship can suffer. The man-woman polarity is what makes it a romantic relationship, the contrasts between you makes it exciting and romantic. It is not just about the looks, the behavior makes you who you are, you perform the gender as Judith Butler use to say in her books. Of course we need to talk about sex. There is an extremely obvious contrast here. A man can get aroused by simply seeing a beautiful woman, whereas a woman need to get to know the man, and feel secure and intimate with him before getting aroused, she actually needs to increase her oxytocin levels in order to want to have sex. This is what many men don't realize and get surprised when their women don't want to have sex on command, because for men, having sex is like taking a piss. That is why men have a harder time getting sex, because women are not so interested in only having sex, at least those mature women in whom I am interested. They look for a guy who wants to stay committed to a relationship. Imagine you have these two energies inside you. If they are in balance, you will behave in a calibrated way, when you swing too much towards one energy and ignore the other, problems appear. What does excess masculinity look like? Well, an autistic, unsocial, over-competitive, unempathetic, nerdy person who has a robot-like behavior and sees everything else as objects to be exploited. What would excess femininity look like? An over-empathic, over-indulgent, over-emotional, over-self-sacrificing person who will get burned out becoause she only looks for the needs of others and disregards her own needs. We can see this in women who get abused and exploited in relationships by selfish masculine men and forgive them all the time. What they should do instead is connect with their male side and decide to end the relationship for good, to start taking care of their own needs, raise their standards and find a better man. Be careful at your childhood trauma tough, my mother had a bad relationship with her father, he was domianting her all the time. That made my mother vow to take care of everything by herself and marry a docile man. She ended up regretting the choice she made. Women love to be vulnerable and be lead by a competent loving man. They hate when they are always forced to go into their male side to come with solutions and figure out stuff because their men are lazy and incompetent. You don't have to fear masculine men, you need to find one who embraces his feminine side also. Masculine people have managed to create awesome technologies, thinking models and ideas that created our modern world we have today, by without femininity, all that technological progress will do more bad than good. Nuclear technology will do more harm than good if we use it to nuke each other or destory the environment. In fact the world is so broken today because there is too much masculine energy ruling the world, we need to become more feminine and empathic in our aproaches. You might ask why did the universe made us in this way? I see it as a survival specialization, we lived in tribes since thousands and thousands of years. The universe specialized women in better taking care of children, because children need love and empathy more than anything else, whereas men specialized in hunting, exploring and defending the territory, actions which require more dettachement and logic. We are approaching the end of this material, realct a bit on the way I wrote all of this. Do you see how I balanced my two energies in order to create a calibrated, nuanced and deep approach? I encourage you to do the same in your search for meaning and answers, theory is very important. If you don't have your theory right, you won't know how to act. My masculine personality of dettaching form silly groupthink and pursuing my own journey of figuring out how the world works saved my life. But I see how important is to balance this energy with femininity, instead of judging those who can't do what I did calling them cowards, I want to inspire them fix their lives, that is true masculinity.
  2. I mentioned in the article that these are two energies within us. Without my logic I would be probably dead now dude. With logic and distinctions you can create an action plan and understand the world for real. This hippie rethoric sound great and all of that, but in practice your life is nowhere near good, you don't take intellectual responsibility to have a fixed point. Words are a cheap tool for the ego, actions impress me and I did not met a spiritual hippe who's not broken yet. Only cheap chat, parroting the gurus and memories from the trips. But after all that, now I know whom are the people to take around me, and these spiritual monkeys found on this forum won't be my first choice. Rather talk to chatgpt, way smarter.
  3. Where are all the male prostitutes then? Why are there no female incel forums? You do not understand what "on average" means dude. Study dating apps and see how the dynamics are completely asymmetric, dudes struggling to get a date and girls getting overwhelmed by the demand. They want it but in a different way, they want a whole emotional experince not just the act of sex.
  4. You are the exact hippie I am talking about 😂. Watch the nuances. John Grey's books were gold because after reading them I could see the examples everywhere, do you really think we all were socialized into this? That sounds like a conspiracy theory, a hippie one. The same way we have different bodies, even different bone densities, we have IN GENERAL different brains. We basically have different organs in our bodies, you tell me our behavior is exactly the same? Give me a break. If you ever got a girlfirend, or will in the future, remember or notice her mood swings through her mens cycle. Of course you behave on an averaged way when you don't know who you are because nobody showed you how to search. Leftists basically socialize people into behaving the same and then say: "look! All these men-women stereotypes were just a social construction!" Some kindergardens in Iceland separate the boys from the girls and they teach the boys how to show emotions and the girls how to be stronger and more aggressive.
  5. Man, conservative relative to what? We are talking about HItler being a conservative relative to the way the world was ruled for thousands of years, with cruelty, racism, slavery and autocracy. His mindset was so extremely conservative that even conservatives of that time might look progressive in contrast. Use spiral dynamics to understand it, these are just word games and redefining terms.
  6. Words are just words, what he did is just to create basic stage red-blue ideological state. Is North Korea pregressive? Because progressive is the opposite of conservative. An egomaniac is conservative by nature, he conserves the egotistical beliefs and behaviours that hauted the past for thosuands of years, read history and you'll see that what he did is nothing new.
  7. I am also 28 and not feel old at all, my life just beggins. In fact I was waiting till this moment so I feel mature enough to start my dream business as an intellectual. Take care of you health and you'll be just as fresh even after 50 more years. The ICF coaching course I just started is held by a 80 years old swedish woman. She is wearing pink clonthes and is swift, clear minded and fresh as a 30 year old.
  8. I remember Sadhguru saying to his audience: reduce sleep, I sleep around 2 hours a night. That one turned me off and never watched him again, that kind of advice is even worse than the mainstream gymbuddy advice. He is conscious but he seems disconnected from reality.
  9. I own a mid end Xiaomi and it works well since 3 years. Now that I have more money, I'll probably buy something better like a oneplus or smth. I want to add that Apple sucks even if nobody asked me.
  10. I live here since 2 years, nice country, the gettos are a parallel society which swedes are seeing on TV. They had a naive prime-minister in 2015 who pushed his agenda of taking as many refugees as possible. They learned their lesson, now they are much more careful and reserved with immigration.
  11. If they just continue texting you and asking about your life, they probably want something more. Pay attention to the way they look at you, you might get it though that. Otherwise just ask, if you don't get it after some time, so you know which relationship you will have with her.
  12. most people have plastic water boilers, drink from plastic coffee cups for convenience around town, buy plastic water bottles that sat in the sun, besides all the microplastics found in food. That is bad news.
  13. Go to every western oriented restaurant and half of the menu is pasta and pizza. Sugar porducts are seen by the public as being desert or "bad food" but most people perceive meals that contain 70-90% processed carbs from wheat as being "food". That is the problem. And wheat is addictive! There is no debate here, and I don't see a strong informational campaign that will stop this shit soon. Basically everybody is stuffing their mouths with wheat every day and those who have good genetics remain thin until a certain age, the rest gain weight straight away from childhood, of course depending on how addicted they are.
  14. I Agree. Now i don't think it is a chemical addiction, we can call it bad habit if you want. Wheat has a lot in common with sugar: it is tasty, fast, cheap, available everywhere, kills hunger, versatile BUT also more socially acceptable. Anything with these qualities can have addictive proprieties to wounded, depressed people. Thanks and sorry for the arrogance, it is a sensitive topic for me because it is my job and I feel unable to help because of this shit food culture.
  15. I am a trainer and physical therapist, I talked to hundreds of people about their eating habits. Some were addicted to sugar products of course, but also a lot of pastry addiction, pizza and pasta. ALL the overweight clients were eating shitloads of carbs in some form especially wheat and sugar. Deny my point no problem, just that I won't join the debate.
  16. There is some frustration in the middle. Maybe it will fit more into the journal section. I debated it enough, if people don't agree, so be it. Just want to share what I observe but it is strongly related to the health/society. Edit: And I disagree that a forum should be only about debate all the time. People can come and add over what I said. Debate is more childish than a honest expression of an observation. Stop playing the role of the disciplined policeman. Move my post where you believe it belongs, DM me so I know next time and that's it.
  17. not necessarly, some people get motivated to change only when they pay. And a mentor is not a coach. You can get advice for free on forums and by mailing the mentors.
  18. You mean 1 on 1 coaching sessions? I doubt a professional coach will coach you for free. A coach can change a person's life completely especially if the person is the non-contemplative type. Maybe you are a contemplative dude like most people here and maybe this is why it feels useless for you. Most people just live life like dogs, they piss on the trees instead of contemplating life and taking action. Coaching is not really about advice, it is about guiding them to do what they don't: contemplate and create a step by step action plan. I have a friend who is the exact type of person who needs a coach, he follows Leo's teachings for years, bought his LP course but the problem is that he always looks for somebody else to tell him what to do and what is the truth instead of trusting his intuition and contemplate by himself. And those who just blabber their mouths and spin around ideas without taking clear action (like many spiritual people here) also need coaching. I started an ICF course here in Sweden and looking forward to change people's lives. I'll start coaching people for free but after I feel confident enough, it will be at least 130 dollars per session.
  19. This thing is soo rare, with the amount of influence and knowledge Leo has, he could turn into a local rockstar and have all the hot girls and millions of dollars, he could create a harem of 10/10 girls just for himself, but he chose not to.
  20. "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of heaven! Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven." - Jesus Not just that they will never find the absolute truth but they'll also suffer because being selifsh is depressing. When you choose money and hedonism over relatioships, compassion, and altruism, that will alienate you from others and make you suffer. That would be and example of karma.
  21. Curious to hear your opinions on this. Is the Sweden's forbidding approach more reasonable or should we adopt the Netherlands approach of legalizing it? Or US approach of "If you film it, it is legal" 😆
  22. Something to add: If the girl is wounded, she will fall for a wounded man. And as @puporing said, good looks matter less as the woman matures.
  23. See!?? How easy it is to completely distort a man's image on attraction with some silly ideas? Just because Leo or some other influencer tells you looks matter, don't believe it! Test it and experience it personally, my god.
  24. How would you guys describe "good" genetics? To be tall? To have a beard and thick scalp hair? Jaw bone? Because the incels fucked their whole lives blindly believing in some of these silly theoies. So a more specific description of good genetics would be needed. Also, define "attraction". If I got a date based on my dating app profile then after the first date she walked away, does it mean I attracted her or not? Of course looks play a crucial role when a girl knows nothing about you, because that is the only input. DId you attract her when you got a smile at first sight or when she got in bed with you?
  25. Thanks for your new insights Will pay attention and observe it first hand.