Charlotte

@sarapr Yeah being a women definitely sucks sometimes ?. I highly recommend the Agnus castus though hun, please don't overlook it. Yeah your GP could definitely guide you in the right direction. Let me know how you get on. Sending strength ❤️

@Shin I've started this practice today Also done some journaling and realised this is something to be learnt from, not dwelled on ?

There is a scientific name for women who struggle with PMS to this degree... have you been to your GP? I'm sorry your going through this, just to add and hopefully make you feel better... I'm literally going through it now. Same as you I can handle the pain but the emotional effect is something else! Hate being a woman sometimes, men have it so easy ?

Apologies for my late reply... Testing day yesterday. For reasons I can't get to the core of them, I've traced all the way back to my first encounters with these feelings/thoughts and I can't find anything in relation to them. The only thing I may think that is the cause of this is suffering with my weight all my life, I used to be 'curvy' in high school, was bullied, I was bullied from my brother at a very early age (probably a very important and significant age when I think about it, (8/9/10+), so no matter what shape I am, I have and will always be EXTREMELY insecure with my weight. I then began to think about the insecurities leaking into my relationships from an early age, which then led me into a snowballing thought pattern of is my partner looking at other women etc. Fast forward many years, my last relationship ended awfully! We were together 5 years, engaged. Found out he was living a double life with another women and he was also a MASSIVE compulsive liar, this traumatic experience along with everything else I've mentioned, I believe has left me the way I am today. I'm sorry that turned out to be so long ? Wow, brilliant advice and tips @Shin, I know you say I'm thanking myself but still... Thank you. I'm not feeling very good at the moment, had an awful day yesterday, left me feeling quite disappointed with myself, thought I'd turned a corner with negative emotions but I became angry and stressed, mixed with tiredness, I lost control... this has left me feeling poop ? I'll definitely get started on this tomorrow, really appreciate it ❤️ I'll look into shadow work also, thanks for the suggestion. (Sorry for my late reply)

"I know your not gonna like this", wrong @Shin I absolutely love it! Any work I can do to get myself out of this shit hole I'm going to throw myself at, wether it's hard or not I don't care, I'll persist trust me. So let me get this straight... I'm going to picture and think about my worst nightmares with regards to my partner. I'm not going to focus on the thoughts but the emotions that come with the thoughts... I'm going to feel them to fuck, accept them so much that they dissolve. How often do I do this? Is it a daily practice? How long do I do it for? Also how do I accept them? Do I just say something like "Ok, your there, so what?" Embrace them? Any practice that includes me going through emotional pain will only make me stronger, I'm ready!! Your a legend shin, from the bottom of my heart... THANK YOU!!! ? @Colin Can't thank you enough for this, I'll pop this into my routine as well. Thankyou Thank you Thank you!

Thanks for replying. The details and quality? Well to be honest, I'm embarrassed to go into much detail, I know there stupid, put it that way. I've had some good in depth thinking about my thoughts and they seem to based around my partner lusting after other women, not so much... "Oh he's going to run off with another women" they don't even cross my mind, it's more lustful based. Also I've noticed when I talk to anybody about them (my mum or whatever) I have picked up on the fact I say a lot of "I don't want to be made a fool of" or lied to or humiliated. It's more the case of is he staring at other women or thinking of someone else in bed type thoughts, they are the tip of the iceberg to be honest. Yes I've tried observing but it still seems to have some 'meaning' to me, I still become attached to them so to speak, I've tried everything to become detached from them with no luck. When your mention "quality" of the thoughts, what do you mean by this sorry?

Awareness alone is curative... I totally get it and 100 percent agree with you.

Awesome advice from @Vaishnavi I'll definitely try this! I think (not 100 percent) that @sarapr is referring to the moods with pms? The mental state it can put you in. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Not sure about pharmacies, I live in the UK and I got it online. It isnt a multivitamins but an extract from a plant. Maybe do a quick Google so you understand the background of it and hopefully where you will be able to purchase. I cannot praise it enough! Good for you!! Sounds like your exploring all your options. Keep it up. I understand how AWFUL PMS is, some women suffer much much worse than other. I was literally suicidal each month it was that bad. Thank god I got it under control with the supplement. I truly hope you find something that works for you.

@sarapr Did you manage to get your issue under control? I"m sorry your experiencing this. I did too. It was awful, I know exactly what your going through! I'm not joking when I say I started to dread each month. I did my research and came across a natural supplement that could help eliminate my symptoms (please check they won't counteract with any other medication your on) it's called Agnus castus have you heard of it? Before plunging in heard first I did a lot of research as there are different ways of taking it, I found out through direct experience (for myself) that the tablet form was the most effective way. Also you need to be taking a certain MG in order for it to actually work. If you haven't found a solution please do some research into this, it could change your life. Good luck lovely and if you need anymore help please ask away ❤️

Thanks for sharing @Richard Alpert it's a very overlooked sneaky habit/addiction I've noticed.

Thank for the your encouragement! And we'll done you! ?

Your right, I do research, I'm a little bit of a research junkie if I'm completely honest. Yes I was juicing with a BIG blender so I'll pop a small juicer on my Christmas list and start again. Thank you for motivating me and for sharing.

Wow eight cups a day! Sounds like my mum... She's the same ? Yeah it sounds like you experienced the withdrawal. Yeah hopefully I won't slip back, I tend not to if I get to a certain point (stubbornness in me also) It certainly is, thank you very much for sharing your experience (Sorry I've quoted you twice, I don't know how to remove one)

Wow! I'm glad it's worked for you ? I will definitely give it a try, thank you for sharing and replying.

Oh brilliant, I'll do some research into that @JoJo thank you for your recommendation! Have you drunk this yourself? Should it be the first? Possibly yes. But if I'm honest, this is the hardest, I don't want to rush into it and fail, I want to quit this when I feel strong enough. I will do some research into this also. Thank you very much! I have done juicing/blending in the past, I did this for around a year last year, I gave up because of the amount of washing up it was creating, I got fed up of it ?. Ill definitely think about starting this again. In the morning (0830) I have a bowl of very basic porridge oats, with pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, goji berries, milled linseed, chai seeds and a very small dash of organic honey. This provides me with enough energy up to around 3pm, I think this breakfast is an excellent source of energy. Thank you for your recommendation ?

I watched a programme on the BBC about decaffeinated drinks one time. If you do a quick Google search the opinions are still quite torn. I completely disagree. Social media to me is ego's fighting, challenging, ego's. Who looks best, who's got he newest whatever, constantly trying to up each other, over opinionated low consciousness drivel. "Raise my consciousness down"... Please explain what you mean by this? My ultimate goal is to get off my e-cigarette and completely eliminate any behaviour, habit's that I feel have control over me. I want to live the most high consciousness life I possibly can. Free of society and 'the norm'.

I get the tea thing but I don't want to get hooked on that either as it contains caffeine. Thanks for the suggestions though. Definitely no decaffeinated as it's really bad for your health ?. Again, thanks for the suggestions though. I am going to research a coffee alternative that is caffeine free. I think our herbal shop's in the UK sell them so I think that's the route I'm going to take. Really appreciate all your suggestions though guy's ❤️

@aurum Awesome idea!! This is going to be tough ? so so tough! Wow your brave!! I get REAAAAALLY uncomfortable when it's cold already and I get in the shower, baths in the winter for me. Hats off to you though! And thank you for your advice

@aurum Thank you ? To be honest I think it's more of a habit now than an actual energy booster. I had a cup this morning and I was aware whilst drinking it. It's just the taste, not the actual false energy it provides. It's a habit that I recognise with 'waking up', 'morning' etc. I have 2 cups a day and that's it. I then drink Organic herbal teas. I know some people would agree that it is isn't a lot of caffeine but I NEED the 2 cups in the morning so that reason alone is enough for me to want to break the habit. Thank you for your advice

Yes me too! It's outstanding isn't it! I'm so so glad I've woken to my own mind. I know what you mean by forcing also. I will keep one eye on that. So glad you have found your own technique that works for you.

For the past week, through my mundane life, I have been practicing this... Whatever I am doing be it washing, walking the dog, talking to people or whatever I have been reminded my self to observe, be outside of my head and stay aware. Everyday, all day. A lot of the time I lose it and fall back asleep but then I pop back out of it again and crack on. It's hard, so so hard. I find myself getting angry at my own mind sometimes because it has dragged me back in and won't leave me alone ?. In this practice I'm hoping that I will tame my monkey mind and live more mindful and conscious. I was hoping for some clarity from this thread that my practice, in the long run will have some permanent results. Does anybody else have their own techniques? Or does anybody have any practical and positive advice?

Aaaaaaah I see I see. I understand now. Thank you for clarifying that ? Awesome quote! Great insight. You've opened my eyes to knowing I can learn from 'falling back asleep' I will watch it more carefully. Thank you for that! Yes I have noticed naturally I have been bringing awareness to my breath so I will continue to do so. Thank you again. This made me chuckle so much! I can tell just from reading your comment you know exactly what I mean ?? You've also motivated me by me motivating you ??

@Vitamine Water whenever I 'lose it' I'll try and come back with cncenttati on my breath. Thank you for your lovely advice ? noted. @Blissout What are you referring to when you speak of the I-feeling? Thanks for the Michael Langford recommendation, I will check that out. Thank you very much!

I remember leo stating in an episode that the monkey mind is a force of nature, it can never be stopped but taimed. That's not quoted by the way just from the jist of what I remember.