Azote

When you start to get headaches and nightmares and funny heat along your spine that probably means you should slow down. Yep, find out your "doze" empirically

Don't you text "fuck off" to clingy people, and not the opposite of that lol?

Doesn't sound very long-term-commitment friendly

It seems to me that once you get into all this systems stuff and realise that higher order solutions are what it takes for the mankind so survive, the motivation to pursue the path of some kind of specialist (like artist or physicist) vanishes. It's like now you have no other choice but to be a leader, a visionary -- manager or sage or consultant of sorts, and there's no way back. You need a job that takes a spiral wizard to be done, not fancy technical skill master. Does this apply to you? What did you do? What's your current career path (so to speak)?

Eyegasm Remember that I said art doesn't make me emotional? Nevermind...

Health Marathon Weeks #14-16 of 42 Wazzup. I'll probably stretch my journal entries interval even more because (suddenly!) action is what I need more than this little reports right now. So what I've been up to lately: meditation 30 mins every morning - more sustainable regiment. Exercise - beginner youtube workouts. Make me feel a bit more alive. Singletasking and time-management techniques from a book most of you would not like because it's for nooobs. What does this to do with health? Well, it feels so fucking good to have a plan that includes all your major priorities and to have it done by the end of the day. I bet it's better than ADs. To fall asleep knowing that you didn't pour this day down the drain. Just fucking awesome! chewing lots of celery lol self-esteem exercise and breath retention - still here

I'd say, the amount of gossip on this forum is too damn high lately

@Dan Arnautu Now that's some inspiration! Thank you

@Staples @Enizeo Ok guys, I guess I see your point.

@Staples well, guys who figure out systems like spiral dynamics are leaders, visionaries and consultant with broad spectra of hard to define professional activities, so...

Racetams + ADs part 1 It's been a month, and now I am halfway through the course. Effects I noticed so far: consciousness boost, around 20% I'd say (combo with meditation, 6 pillars practice, and a little bit of exercise + it was kinda lowered) more capacity for info absorption, learning, "connecting the dots". "mild" nightmares 1-2 time a week. Usually connected with everyday concerns. now significant influence on ADs

This hypothetical guy I describe in this topic is not me. @Hello from Russia @purerogue Why so? What it is you like about your professional activities?

The world "knows" implies it.

@Shin you actually did? Wow, thanks. So you're saying it's not the actual effort than I can't stand, but my judgemental and self-hate mindset?

@Shin The suffering won't let us give up

Crazy hypothesis okay. So maybe... Just maybe. Multitasking is a bad thing. Shit

Brian, what the fuck?

You don't like biographies and success stories very much, don't you? Of course I'm gonna do just that. Don't worry.

Nope. Green code is about "live and let live", whereas Yellow is about "thrive and help thrive". Yep, he would help others thrive for the sake of his own survival as part of the system, but still. I think he will feel this urge to take care of the spiral's health, now with all that he knows. Well, since on this stage what he is concerned with is coming up with systemic solutions, and he still needs time for rest and fun, I say that organizing his activity such that he gets paid for it is totally desirable. Besides, money is a good tool to assess the value and efficiency of his complex thinking application. I mean, stages don't emerge out of thin air. It's the need to survive under changing life conditions that force them to. So the thinking style must be applicable to real problems. So, my question basically is that: if he knows that he is developed enough to handle problems the majority of people cannot, and he knows that he can do crazy shit (really valuable!) with acupunctural manipulations, and he knows that those major problems will affect his ass too, then how can it be authentic for him to sit and do his little material engineering research (for example) for his whole life? I can only see how this could be a temporary strategic step, and I was also interested if you guys found the strategic intent that makes you do what you do.

Actually, this is exactly the answer I expected Creating your own brand new path is kinda pain in the ass, that's why I'm worried

Fuck it, let's go after masculinity first So as always instead of doing my fokken job I've been watching some videos... And you know what? I really need do develop some Red and Orange stuff. I mean, I expressed masculinity before, but it was like a necessity or lack of confidencr or whatever ("I'll move this fridge by myself because nobody would want to help me out anyway"). Besides, there was that fear that I would become a stereotypical ugly fat feminist. Instead of a perfect person actualized in every aspect (I really hate specialization, yep). Well, I already am kinda fat and ugly, not really passionate about feminism since I have a bigger fish to fry, and no fucking chance that most people would believe me that I'm okay being single anyway, so what holds me back? I guess there is red feminine, but it's most likely implies lots of sexy stuff, so nah So the best I can do is man the fuck up and go get what I want already.

Hm, seems like I have some hero syndrome which narrows my perspective, then. @Serotoninluv Have any plans about tuquoise style career?

Not quite a serious problem, but I'm stuck. So it seems like I have an abnormally low capacity for handling changes in life, any prolonged discomfort. For now I have to resort to antidepressants to maintain an acceptable level of performance at university, but this is obviously not a sustainable solution. Besides, my psychiatrist says that it is sort of accentuated trait. On the one hand, I don't tolerate some bullshit that normal people would be totally okay with. On the over hand, I can not realize any significant changes because I can not handle the amount of suffering they imply without some sort of breakdown. Even natural, obligatory changes like parents kicking you out of the nest. Lol, it's like basic growing up is too much for my psyche, and then I come and say that I need not just that, but an extraordinary actualized life. I'm thinking about doing hell-week or something like that, but I doubt it will help much. Any suggestions? Perspectives?

On a typical day there is lots if distractions (food, internet) and then boredom, survival fears ("How I ever gonna find a job?!") and guilt for not doing "enough", and before all that, early in thr morning, sometimes there is peace and admiration of nature's beauty on my way to school. When stressful events are inevitable, I talk myself into believing they are not that important and just try to get over with it. Almost always I choose path of least resistance. Week-ends are pretty much like typical days.

Well, they also advice to not meditate for more than 20 mins a day, and it didn't stop you. There are also disclaimers everywhere that tell you to seek professional help in case of fuck-ups.