RickyFitts

Nah, you can't really kid yourself I don't think. I think the real issue is that you believe that life should have meaning, that you can't live without it because life seems pointless if it doesn't have meaning. I think it's on the level of emotion that you need to focus - how does this apparent meaningless make you feel? Become very intimate with your felt experience when you contemplate this question, notice exactly what's going on within you without thinking about it.

Just doesn't feel natural when I lie on my back, I always feel more comfortable curled up in the foetal position (figures, I guess, given that that's the position we were in when we were in the womb). I'll give it a try again though, see how I get on with it.

We've all got a feminine side, and it's beautiful - it should be cultivated, not denied.

Good Lord, how am I only just now learning of the existence of the eight-string guitar? I've got the standard six-string guitar as well as a twelve-string guitar, didn't realise there was anything in between. Anyway, really looking forward to hearing what you come up with, bro

Are you counting the breaths out loud? I'm surprised people don't understand what you're doing, given that meditation is becoming more and more mainstream, but I guess there's more ignorance about it than I realise! On the plus side, it's nice that random strangers are concerned about your wellbeing (where I live, I'd probably be more likely to get the piss taken out of me ). I'm the same, I'm pretty self-conscious at the best of times. Could be a very useful exercise, though, to be present with the feelings of self-consciousness that get triggered, just allowing them to arise. Love, love, love this

@Natasha

Not for the first time, Gianna, you've hit on something very important. Funnily enough, I started a thread on another forum a few years back with the exact title of this one (it was about my own struggles with receiving love, feeling unworthy, etc.) - it's probably the single issue I've struggled with the most. This is something I noticed in myself when I was starting to awaken about nine years back, I realised that I ached for connection at the same time that I was utterly terrified of it. It's just as you say, I sensed that it would be the death of me in some way and I was just too scared to let myself die, I feared annihilation; I think I'm reaching a point now where it's just too exhausting and demoralising to keep resisting, it's just no way live. How did that make you feel, out of interest? Upset, rejected, frustrated, or did you just accept that he simply wasn't able to receive love?

@MuadDib Wow, some very cool covers! I'm also a huge fan of this version by Kutsal Kaan Bilgin. Speaking of their 'In Rainbows' album, this one runs 'Weird Fishes' a very close second for my money:

I don't really resonate with his teachings (which says more about me than it does about him, I'm sure), but I like him anyway, he's a very charismatic, attractive guy.

I'm quite a tall guy (6 foot 1) so my girlfriends have all been quite a bit shorter than me. Might feel a bit weird to date a woman who was about my height, though heck, if Mandy Moore or Maria Sharapova came knocking I probably wouldn't knock them back It's not something I attach a whole lot of importance to though, sexy, beautiful women come in all shapes and sizes

You're welcome

@Tim R Excellent post, beautifully articulated!

Brilliant!

Christ, there's a head-fuck right there

That was about as subtle as a sledgehammer Still almost went over my head, I was sat there thinking, 'What the fuck has using bladderwrack - bladderwhat? - got to do with wanting a woman with a good personality?'

@Gianna Completely agree I've come to think that music is one of humanity's greatest achievements, the way it can speak to your soul just blows me away. Wow, that's beautiful

I think that's largely because we humans tend to be so lost in our thoughts, we're very mind-centred beings - and that concentrates focus in the head (more specifically in the third eye area, or at least that's how I experience it). I know that for me personally, a big part of my spiritual growth has involved shifting attention into my body, and particularly into my heart; intellectually wrestling with the concept of non-duality didn't really cut it for me, it just caused frustration in the end. Realisation happens on all levels, not just on the level of mind.

I know, I always find it so heart-breaking when people can't see how wonderful they are, it makes me wish they could see themselves through my eyes...

I know, it's so true - I remember Adyashanti saying that the person you'll have the hardest time accepting is you, yourself, and I think he was so right about that (I've certainly found it to be true in my own case, at least). @Terell Kirby Excellent post.

Yeah, it's very common - I know I've experienced that too, it can be hugely frustrating and despair-inducing. But your soul craves something more - something with infinitely greater depth and substance - than the familiar old habits that no longer satisfy, whilst at the same time you fear change and the uncertainty that comes with that. This is where you need to be brave enough to let go into the unknown, to let go of the whole world.

Amazing work, @FlyingLotus, thanks so much

This is a key question I think. People often fear negative judgment if they express themselves honestly, they think others will be horrified or repelled (I know I've felt this myself) and that leads them to become uncommunicative and closed off. But other people are often much more understanding and sympathetic than we imagine they'll be.

@Gianna It sure would

Bless you, you're very welcome