RickyFitts

I need to keep this in mind, because I always find it so much easier to see the beauty in other people than to see it in myself - but it's wonderful to have the mirror of other people anyway

Ultimately only you can really know whether you should pursue the relationship or whether you should focus on self-healing - do what feels right for you, none of us knows better than you what's the right course of action for you. It might sound scary, but I think you should explain to the person how you're feeling at the moment with regards to the relationship and your inner struggles, primarily so that they don't end up feeling confused and hurt but also because, who knows, maybe talking things through with them will make things clearer for you.

Wonderful

Hey, no arguments there bro! (Just kidding, fella )

I think so too, and you're right, you should do what feels right for you

@hamedsf I think the majority of women grow out of that as they develop more maturity, they become disillusioned by that sort of behaviour.

Excellent advice, though it can be easier said than done Also very good advice. I think understanding what's at the root of the jealousy/insecurity on an emotional level is key, though again that can be a lot easier said than done. An excellent point - vulnerability is often equated with weakness, and yet it can take considerable courage to open up to another about how you feel on the deepest level.

@Esilda Aww I'm sorry you had such a stressful day, I understand how that could cause you to doubt yourself - I was so touched by what you shared though, it was really beautiful

You're such a beautiful person, Gianna

Say what now?

Thank you, I really appreciate it

I was thinking about relationships in general, not just romantic relationships, but yes, sadly I think there's a lot of truth in what you say. The majority of men don't seem to recognise the beauty of women beyond the physical (I was the same for a long time, I'm embarrassed to say), which is just desperately sad.

That's such a shame, what you shared was just beautiful

That's beautiful So true. Something I've noticed about myself during my spiritual journey is that it just feels natural to touch people in that loving, tender sort of way when I'm more open and unguarded (though it doesn't always feel appropriate with certain people for one reason or another). I think it's natural in the absence of fear - I remember Adyashanti making the point that the opposite of love isn't hate, it's fear, I think that's so true.

You've allowed yourself to be vulnerable and emotionally open with a girlfriend and she's been repelled by you? Great analogy Without that feminine dimension to relationships, it seems to me, they're liable to be rather shallow and unfulfilling.

You're very welcome, thanks for the thought-provoking thread

My experience has been the exact opposite, vulnerability and emotional openness with my girlfriends has tended to precipitate sexual arousal (not that that was my intention, I should point out, it's something that happened naturally).

@Esilda This is a lovely idea for a thread, I can't wait to hear more of your thoughts on the subject of love

Thank you so much for sharing

An Eckhart Tolle quote came to mind in relation to this thread, and I think it's worthy of consideration: I think we humans have such a strong tendency to turn away from what feels uncomfortable and to escape to the apparent safety of thinking that we often end up in denial of our true feelings. Becoming aware of these feelings can be distressing and upsetting, but it's so important, I believe, where spiritual growth is concerned.

So true

Great question, I tried to figure that one out for years without ever really getting to the bottom of it. Now you've got me thinking about it, it seems to me that feeling must precede thought, just on the basis that we've always been able to feel, but we haven't always been able to think. Maybe that's too simplistic though.

It's good that you can see this, not everyone would have the self-awareness to recognise that this is the core issue. I watched the following video on the subject of healing an abandonment wound a short while back, which I found very useful - it's quite a long one, but it might be worth a watch if you can spare the time:

Never heard of the guy before, not thrilled to hear that he appears to hail from my part of the world. Sounds like a bit of a plum.

Always struck me as being the real deal, not someone who was just parrotting nondual rhetoric.