RickyFitts

Great question, I tried to figure that one out for years without ever really getting to the bottom of it. Now you've got me thinking about it, it seems to me that feeling must precede thought, just on the basis that we've always been able to feel, but we haven't always been able to think. Maybe that's too simplistic though.

It's good that you can see this, not everyone would have the self-awareness to recognise that this is the core issue. I watched the following video on the subject of healing an abandonment wound a short while back, which I found very useful - it's quite a long one, but it might be worth a watch if you can spare the time:

Never heard of the guy before, not thrilled to hear that he appears to hail from my part of the world. Sounds like a bit of a plum.

Always struck me as being the real deal, not someone who was just parrotting nondual rhetoric.

@aurum Excellent post. Even relationships that become very dysfunctional and end in a lot of heartache can facilitate lots of growth, as I've found in my own experience, they can expose your core issues so that they can be dealt with.

@Nos7algiK Yeah, nice list

What's so wrong about having a feminine side?

As long as both parties are committed to being open, vulnerable, supportive, and understanding with each other, I think it's perfectly possible. I think a relationship with the right person can be very healing, just so long as you both go into it with your eyes open and take full responsibility for your internal environment.

@Thought Art Just had a look at some Vernon Howard quotes and I'm liking his work, lots of wisdom in there. Though my favourite quote is probably this one:

You don't think men have a feminine side? What do you think a feminine side is, exactly?

So true

Sure does - little wonder, then, that women tend to be more intuitive

Absolutely agree with this, learning to play instruments like the violin cultivates sensitivity and presence, it seems to me - it brings to mind something Shinichi Suzuki said: that he taught the violin not to add more violinists to the world, but to develop the heart and improve the character of the music student. I love that, I think that's a great way of looking at it

Nah, you can't really kid yourself I don't think. I think the real issue is that you believe that life should have meaning, that you can't live without it because life seems pointless if it doesn't have meaning. I think it's on the level of emotion that you need to focus - how does this apparent meaningless make you feel? Become very intimate with your felt experience when you contemplate this question, notice exactly what's going on within you without thinking about it.

Just doesn't feel natural when I lie on my back, I always feel more comfortable curled up in the foetal position (figures, I guess, given that that's the position we were in when we were in the womb). I'll give it a try again though, see how I get on with it.

We've all got a feminine side, and it's beautiful - it should be cultivated, not denied.

Are you counting the breaths out loud? I'm surprised people don't understand what you're doing, given that meditation is becoming more and more mainstream, but I guess there's more ignorance about it than I realise! On the plus side, it's nice that random strangers are concerned about your wellbeing (where I live, I'd probably be more likely to get the piss taken out of me ). I'm the same, I'm pretty self-conscious at the best of times. Could be a very useful exercise, though, to be present with the feelings of self-consciousness that get triggered, just allowing them to arise. Love, love, love this

@Natasha

Not for the first time, Gianna, you've hit on something very important. Funnily enough, I started a thread on another forum a few years back with the exact title of this one (it was about my own struggles with receiving love, feeling unworthy, etc.) - it's probably the single issue I've struggled with the most. This is something I noticed in myself when I was starting to awaken about nine years back, I realised that I ached for connection at the same time that I was utterly terrified of it. It's just as you say, I sensed that it would be the death of me in some way and I was just too scared to let myself die, I feared annihilation; I think I'm reaching a point now where it's just too exhausting and demoralising to keep resisting, it's just no way live. How did that make you feel, out of interest? Upset, rejected, frustrated, or did you just accept that he simply wasn't able to receive love?

@MuadDib Wow, some very cool covers! I'm also a huge fan of this version by Kutsal Kaan Bilgin. Speaking of their 'In Rainbows' album, this one runs 'Weird Fishes' a very close second for my money:

I don't really resonate with his teachings (which says more about me than it does about him, I'm sure), but I like him anyway, he's a very charismatic, attractive guy.

I'm quite a tall guy (6 foot 1) so my girlfriends have all been quite a bit shorter than me. Might feel a bit weird to date a woman who was about my height, though heck, if Mandy Moore or Maria Sharapova came knocking I probably wouldn't knock them back It's not something I attach a whole lot of importance to though, sexy, beautiful women come in all shapes and sizes

You're welcome

@Tim R Excellent post, beautifully articulated!