RickyFitts

Mate, why don't you just ask her?

@Marcel Cheers buddy, I'll have a look

It's also morally unjustifiable.

I'm a big fan of the spiritual teacher Amoda Maa Jeevan, if you've heard of her, and her latest podcast is on the subject of relationships in the context of awakening - figured you might find it useful, so I'll share it here:

I don't think this situation is workable at the moment, to be honest, I think you probably need to remove yourself from it altogether - maybe he needs that, maybe your absence will cause him to reconsider his priorities in life.

I guess you could call this sheer egotism on my part, given that my name happens to be Daniel

Don't forget yourself, be aware of anything that might be triggered in you - fear, frustration, despair, or whatever it may be - in response to her behaviour, and let those feelings go. Be her calm, steadfast rock.

@Marcel I for one would love to read what you wrote down

I think you're just a very heart-centred person, which is *looks in thesaurus* - no, fuck it, I'm just going to say it - beautiful

What an absolute sweetheart you are, I certainly shall if anything comes to mind!

Good stuff, I think that's a good idea Consistency of practice is obviously very important, you get out of it what you put in. It's the willingness to relax as much as anything, because when certain emotions and sensations do start to arise, your body's liable to instinctively go into resistance - that's just how the majority of us tend to be conditioned to behave, we're basically taught from a young age by the people around us to repress our emotions, and it becomes habitual and unconscious after a while. It's just a question of becoming conscious of that inner resistance, noticing when your body becomes tight and tense and allowing the resistance to release, and then allowing your body to breathe freely.

That's wonderful, glad it's been so beneficial for you

Love your honesty and self-awareness, Esilda, so beautiful (I keep calling everything beautiful just recently, I really must dig out my thesaurus). I love that you share it here, too, makes it easier for me to accept when I feel shame, self-hatred, etc. after I've posted something on this forum and find myself wishing I'd kept my big, dumb mouth closed.

In the immortal words of that great sage Tina Turner, what's love got to do, got to do with it?

@tsuki Agree on all counts - particularly this bit:

'Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you truly love.' - Rumi

Yeah, I can relate too, numbness was something I really struggled with a few years back when I was having a hard time (I think the numbness was a sort of self-protective measure in my case, because I was experiencing so much inner turmoil that my nervous system would become overwhelmed). I had to learn to become much more conscious in my body, to notice exactly what was going on in terms of where I was feeling muscle tension, heaviness, energetic blockages, etc.; breathing meditation was probably most helpful for me personally, I'd just sit down to meditate with the intention of simply allowing my body to breathe, and it would then gradually relax and release what it had been holding on to (which, as it turned out, was a lot!). There does need to be a willingness to allow the arising of whatever had been previously repressed, and that can feel very uncomfortable and painful at times.

@Gianna I like the excerpt I've read so far, it's very well-written and I like that she takes a holistic approach to healing trauma, I think that's absolutely the right way to go about it

Seems a bit alien to me too, and I'm a guy. Though I was never the most well-adjusted guy in the world, to be fair, so I'm probably not best-placed to comment. Just seems empty to me now though, I think I've always wanted something deeper than casual sex (although I could get plenty horny too, I'm not going to pretend otherwise).

Don't be coy, bro, you bring the wine and I'll make us a nice Italian meal (Hope you're in the mood for pizza!)

It was one cool-ass move, that's for sure

@DreamScape BEautifully said (I didn't mean to capitalise the E, but fuck it, I'm keeping it like that.)

@Zigzag Idiot Very interesting, thanks for that!

Trauma is such an important subject, I believe, so thanks very much for the recommendation, @Gianna, I'll definitely check it out