RickyFitts

Yeah, I can relate too, numbness was something I really struggled with a few years back when I was having a hard time (I think the numbness was a sort of self-protective measure in my case, because I was experiencing so much inner turmoil that my nervous system would become overwhelmed). I had to learn to become much more conscious in my body, to notice exactly what was going on in terms of where I was feeling muscle tension, heaviness, energetic blockages, etc.; breathing meditation was probably most helpful for me personally, I'd just sit down to meditate with the intention of simply allowing my body to breathe, and it would then gradually relax and release what it had been holding on to (which, as it turned out, was a lot!). There does need to be a willingness to allow the arising of whatever had been previously repressed, and that can feel very uncomfortable and painful at times.

@Gianna I like the excerpt I've read so far, it's very well-written and I like that she takes a holistic approach to healing trauma, I think that's absolutely the right way to go about it

Seems a bit alien to me too, and I'm a guy. Though I was never the most well-adjusted guy in the world, to be fair, so I'm probably not best-placed to comment. Just seems empty to me now though, I think I've always wanted something deeper than casual sex (although I could get plenty horny too, I'm not going to pretend otherwise).

Don't be coy, bro, you bring the wine and I'll make us a nice Italian meal (Hope you're in the mood for pizza!)

It was one cool-ass move, that's for sure

@DreamScape BEautifully said (I didn't mean to capitalise the E, but fuck it, I'm keeping it like that.)

@Zigzag Idiot Very interesting, thanks for that!

Trauma is such an important subject, I believe, so thanks very much for the recommendation, @Gianna, I'll definitely check it out

@Gregory1 Ahh okay, I'm with you!

@Nahm Love it

Nope, I still haven't got a clue what this means, even from the context. Even tried googling it an' all, didn't turn up anything.

And then you resist the resistance - that's when it gets really fucking frustrating!

Agree wholeheartedly with everything @taotemu said. Boy, is it hard work, and it can feel seriously dispiriting and endless at times, but you just have to persevere with it and take it one day at a time. This is the stark reality. The price of freedom is a big one, but it's worth it.

Very profound! (But yes, I agree!)

Hehe, sure does

Love this, this is wisdom

I think it's the inevitable result of the illusion of separation, if we imagine ourselves to be separate, tiny fragments in an inconceivably vast universe, it's inevitable that we feel fear - and fear is at the root of resistance. And I think this resistance is absolutely necessary for our survival (it's the foundation of the ego-structure, which we need in order to function in the world), up to the point that we become conscious enough that we can allow it to release.

Oh I like it, very different! I've dabbled in recording music in the past so I'm naturally curious, what are you playing there exactly? Sounds like a synthesizer of some description?

What a beautiful soul you are, Esilda, thanks so much for sharing your beautiful thoughts and pictures

I need to keep this in mind, because I always find it so much easier to see the beauty in other people than to see it in myself - but it's wonderful to have the mirror of other people anyway

Ultimately only you can really know whether you should pursue the relationship or whether you should focus on self-healing - do what feels right for you, none of us knows better than you what's the right course of action for you. It might sound scary, but I think you should explain to the person how you're feeling at the moment with regards to the relationship and your inner struggles, primarily so that they don't end up feeling confused and hurt but also because, who knows, maybe talking things through with them will make things clearer for you.

Wonderful

Hey, no arguments there bro! (Just kidding, fella )

I think so too, and you're right, you should do what feels right for you