RickyFitts

Yes, exactly! Exactly, that's exactly it

God, how I love Florence Welch She's a force of nature and her passion and forcefulness intimidates me a bit sometimes, but it's so alluring at the same time

Yep, that sounds about right to me

Aww Esilda, Frank's a lucky lad I love that you have a cat called Frank, by the way

@Gianna Best picture ever! Oh yeah! I think most of us do build up a lot of resentment towards various things over the course of our lives, because we're having to curb our authentic selves to fit in - and our spirit wants to be free, it doesn't really like being confined like that. And often it's our parents who are feeding us the message that it's basically not all right to be the way we are, and, God bless us, we do tend to take that to heart. But it's not easy being a parent, to be fair, so I try not to judge them too harshly.

Oh yeah, I know exactly how you feel - I'm not loving that either, it does sound nauseatingly self-satisfied to me. Just the whole vibe I get from her... it doesn't sit well with me somehow, it feels phony. Absolutely agree! The difference between affected humility and true humility is glaring, true humility is so much more quiet and inconspicuous, and it doesn't seek validation because it doesn't need it.

Hard to know with your parents, though, just the hierarchical nature of the relationship (particularly in your formative years, especially if they weren't particularly conscious people - and so many parents aren't particularly conscious) complicates things and creates simmering resentments. It's something I'd notice in myself towards my dad, he could be doing something completely innocuous and it'd just piss me off to a pretty ridiculous extent Took me quite a while to come to terms with that.

She just never strikes me as being truly sincere, somehow, there's something about the way she comes across that I find off-putting. Maybe that isn't really fair - but she doesn't resonate with me, anyway.

I'm noticing various sensations in my body at the moment, particularly around the back of my heart - sort of around the area of my shoulder blades, I'm feeling quite a lot of energy in that area. The area around my sacral chakra also feels rather tender at times, in an oddly pleasant sort of way - the nerves in that area seem to clearing or something, I'm not quite sure. My root chakra also feels very open, which is a tad disconcerting - I know kundalini rises from that area, and it can be a very intense experience by all accounts. Anyway, I think it's all good, I think my nervous system's gradually becoming entrained to all the energy that's been awakened which is good, obviously.

It's just wonderful, mate, it really is, I'm so happy for you and Preety Breaks my heart to hear you say that, mate, honestly. But I understand, though, I was always harshly self-critical too - that's a trait that runs in my family it seems, I notice both my parents can be very hard on themselves. Some very painful wounds at the root of that sort of thinking, can be challenging to heal. Blissful dissatisfaction - I'll have to give that a try sometime

@Preety_India Cheers darl

@Marcel Nice list! A few more I'd add: Down-to-earth Sense of humour Doesn't take herself too seriously Empathic Is open-minded, but knows her own mind too

Lovely idea for a thread (A bit of Kyla La Grange too, brings to mind a song of hers that an ex-girlfriend shared with me that I love, 'Vampire Smile'.)

That's quite the cross to bear, because no-one is perfect - you're holding yourself to an impossibly high standard. What if you don't do things perfectly, can you handle the idea of being imperfect? What do you feel it says about you if you aren't perfect? You've instinctively learnt to shut down over the course of your life, due to the environment you were raised in - it's sadly so common in humans (and again, especially in men), I was no different in that regard. And I was a very sensitive, troubled child, too, so I ended up bottling up all sorts of strong emotions, until the pressure simply became too great and the sheer extent of my suffering forced me to awaken. That was really only the start of the journey, though, and things actually got much tougher for me after that, as I had to face all the emotional issues and traumas that were still in my system. The big thing for me was simply learning to consciously inhabit my body, we humans tend to be so much in our heads and we end up having a very conflicted relationship with our bodies as a result, we tend to feel restless and agitated if our minds aren't engaged in some task or other. I keep saying it, but body-centred practices are so important I feel - or at least they have been for me personally - because we can't think our way to emotional resolution. Exactly, yeah, that' s how you've been conditioned. Hard to break these patterns, it takes lots of discipline and patience - and time, as you say. I know from my own experience that having a loving partner who's compassionate and understanding to talk things through with can be hugely cathartic and healing, though, so I'm glad you've got Preety for that my friend

'When you sit, stop, and tune in, you’re entering an infinite realm of discovery and possibility. So what you think about it, the beliefs you have about it, what you’ve heard about it – all that can go into the background, so that you can actually begin to see, and feel, and be available, fresh, for what’s happening. You have to go beyond the teachings. You have to go beyond your own beliefs, especially ones that you are very attached to.' - Jon Bernie

Yes, exactly. Exactly this. Often people are trying to manufacture a certain state, they're trying to control their experience in some way - that isn't meditation as far as I'm concerned, that's a waste of time. For me, meditation is simply a state of non-resistance. It's a relaxation as much as anything, an allowing.

It's a funny thing, I'd have thought that as I became more sensitive in my body that I would become clearer on what exactly I'm feeling - but sometimes it seems like the opposite is true and I'm actually becoming less clear. Maybe that's not entirely true, though - maybe the truth is that I simply don't want to feel what I'm feeling right now, so I go into denial about it. The emotional theme that recurs most often is simply grief, but the frustrating thing about it is that I can't seem to figure out exactly what I'm grieving. But do I actually need to know that? I think there's a tendency in humans - certainly in myself at any rate - to try to figure out the reasons why, simply because that's how our brains are wired - we're problem-solvers by nature, that's a big part of why we've been so successful as a species. But, as Teal Swan would say, you can only heal what you can feel. This is where humans (and especially men) tend to be stunted, I know that in my own case I've had to relearn how to feel - and it's been extremely challenging.

There's no rush, I'm sure it'll all become clear in time

Pink Floyd - 'Empty Spaces/What Shall We Do Now?'

@Marcel Cheers buddy, really appreciate it. At the moment I'm just feeling disoriented, I'm not even really sure how to describe it... it's kind of like I'm being emptied out, I don't know. It's not like I feel really terrible or anything, just... well, like I say, disoriented! I'm all right though pal

I've been feeling soreness in my shoulders today whilst meditating, particularly in my right shoulder. This kundalini awakening business I tells ya, it's the gift that keeps on giving...

Or you could meditate whilst sat on a chair if that's more comfortable for you, obviously, that's always an option. It's just whichever position allows you to sit with the least discomfort

You're so cute Ah well I haven't fully resolved the issue, but it's certainly much more manageable than it was Oh no, sorry to hear about your issue with your knees! Is it a serious issue? I'm just a little concerned that seated meditation might worsen the condition, though you can always see how you get on with it and then stop if it becomes too uncomfortable, of course. Great!

To surrender in this context is to allow the resistance to the visceral sensation of fear that you can feel in the body to release. Because whilst you're in resistance, you suffer, because your resistance is blocking the flow of energy (and the felt sensation of fear is ultimately just energy).