RickyFitts

Been noticing some soreness at the base of my left thumb today, feels very fragile for some reason. Again it seems to be connected to some upset in my heart - it's kinda weird how it all fits together, though it figures, given that all the nerves in the body are part of one integrated system.

Not wrong about that, Preety, beautiful, beautiful song

I love that you're asking yourself these questions - I used to think that spirituality was about finding the right answers, but at a certain point I realised that the key is actually asking the right questions Oh bless you, thank you - likewise, you bring such a great energy too my love

@Hulia Right, I didn't know about that. I think we do all yearn for intimacy, deep down, even if we fear losing our autonomy. So maybe we're willing to make concessions so that we can have intimacy whilst still preserving our autonomy. We're all wounded, we're all just trying to figure it out - I'm not going to judge anyone else for their choices, God knows I've got some pretty unhealthy patterns around intimacy myself.

@Hulia Right, sorry, I understand what you mean now. I don't know, I think it's just a case of respecting each other's boundaries. I think it's perfectly possible to have intimacy in relationships without creating an unhealthy dynamic, though it does require a high level of consciousness from both people.

These feelings will pass, as @Natasha said, though I know only too well that it's hard to believe that when you're in the grip of emotions like sorrow and despair. It's in the very nature of those kinds of feelings that they don't feel like they're ever going to pass, they feel eternal. What helped me in those moments was to ask myself, 'What do I need right now?', and then just take care of my needs in the moment, whether that meant going for a walk, listening to music, meditating, doing breathing exercises, talking to a friend - whatever you need, and trusting that those feelings will eventually pass.

A bonus one for you, @Gianna

@Hulia Have you posted on the wrong thread? I don't know how what you said is relevant to the subject of the thread

@Loba Oh and you too, Loba, I thought you were female but wasn't sure! You're absolutely right, though, the women of this forum have made me realise just how much I can learn from my female counterparts if I'm open to it, both in terms of what they share and also in terms of how they conduct themselves

@Gianna You're very welcome, thanks as ever for sharing

@Esilda Great! Boring question, but do you drink it straight or do you add anything to it? Agree 100% with all of this, nicely said There are some really wonderful women on this forum - Esilda, Gianna, Preety, Olivia24, modmyth, amongst others - and I feel so blessed by their presence here Edit: Oh, and Emerald! How could I forget Emerald, she's amazing Double edit: Oh, and FlyingLotus! I'm just astounded by her summaries of Leo's videos, amazing work

I think it took me a day for the profundity of what you're saying here to really sink in... I really have to start reading your posts more carefully, I'm just a bit slow I guess You have such a beautifully perceptive mind

@Gianna I look forward to it

And of course I'm going to have to listen to it again now you've said that!

Good heavens, the pressure in my heart and head at the moment is monumental at the moment, man alive! Phew, fairly takes my breath away so it does, though I'm so used to it by this point that it doesn't bother me too much. Boy do you realise just how dense the physical body can feel when you've got all that energy pushing up against those energetic dams, though. Apropos of not very much, but I got to thinking just now about something my ex (the one I mentioned in my first post) told me about my heart - she told me that I had numerous small spikes lodged in it (not actual, physical spikes - think it's something in the etheric realm?). I just bring it up because I swear I can actually feel those spikes at the moment Gets me to wondering, naturally enough, what on earth would cause them to be lodged there. Other thing I'm noticing recently is that I'm feeling quite light-headed at times, almost giddy or even delirious. I'm assuming that's being caused by a combination of the energy and a rather erratic sleep-pattern (these energetic movements can really screw with your sleep-patterns, I've found, which isn't especially surprising), though it seems to be pretty much under control, I don't think it'll be a serious issue.

A completely random thought occurred to me when I was meditating just before (and don't ask me where this thought came from, because I haven't a clue ) - Esilda is an anagram of 'ladies', was that by design or is it just a coincidence? Also something completely random: I was watching telly before (England getting spanked in the cricket - great fun) and accidentally leant on the remote, which changed the channel to an infomercial channel (channel 669, Best Direct), and what should I hear but New Zealand accents! Utterly random, but it's not often I hear kiwi accents on British telly - just seemed funny because I know you're from New Zealand (They were advertising a massage chair, btw - looked very comfortable to be fair, kinda want one now.)

Enjoy your green tea - a woman after my own heart, I drink that too! I should really meditate in a minute, can't really be bothered though...

You're killing me, that's too adorkable!

@Marcel Fuck yeah

Hey, me too! But that's all right, y'know? Because we're adorkable

I kinda feel like that's your only problem, really, that you judge yourself like that. I say if it feels good, do it (provided no-one's getting hurt, obviously - well, unless you're into BDSM I guess ) - and what feels nicer, as a straight guy, than intimacy with a lovely, sexy woman? I can't think of anything I'd rather do Couldn't agree more

You're so welcome, darl

We come to true understanding by allowing the insecurity of not knowing. Life's fucked up like that, I still don't really understand why... ...but only because I'm still bloody trying to understand! Headfuck central, honestly... feel into the trying, Daniel, feel into the trying...