Waves

That's because it's based on emotion and feeling and your relationship to them. Resistance is what is preventing you from taking action. You think about doing whatever and resistance comes up immediately. You allow yourself to feel that discomfort, stuckness, rejection, aversion, or attachment to not wanting things to change in that moment. You could even hear somebody saying Fuck no! internally sometimes , that will make you laugh, and you get lighter. Once you stay with that feeling of resistance you can gently nudge yourself to let it go. I'd look into books like Sedona Method and Letting Go (by David Hawkins).

@Danioover9000 This is pretty specific... You show up with some personality, you enjoy yourself and create a good experience for both of you, and you feel the girl. If she's messing with you, you'll find out pretty soon and you can decide to keep playing the game, call her out, or stand up and leave. It's about being relaxed and paying attention, and having respect for yourself.

You're 21, enjoy fooling around with girls, and bring as much consciousness as you can into the process to not only learn about the feminine, sexuality, sensuality, socialization, seduction etc., but most importantly to learn about who you are. Meditation on the side, or whatever spiritual practice you decide to engage with, will synergize with this process, and vice versa: relationships can be a source of enormous growth, including emotional and spiritual. They will show you where your shadows are, how you're limiting yourself, how you go about fulfilling your emotional needs, and much more. Whatever you decide to do, engage with it fully, face your fears and limitations and enjoy the ride

Mostly talking from day game and dates experiences: make observations, assumptions, guesses about her, keep it playful and chill. Get curious about how she is as a person, her personality, her perspectives, her qualities, her dreams, her fears, her quirks. Find out how she is uniquely beautiful, dig to find her humanness, and don't forget to tease her in the process

When did you start believing this in your life? Can you pinpoint an event (or multiple ones) in your childhood that made you come up with the belief that it's not okay to express certain emotions? This is something I'm trying to become aware within myself, I'm working on it, and just throwing out pointers I'm wrestling with at the moment. Please just take these as suggestions to contemplate for yourself. What I'm intuiting is that you're operating from a core belief of inadequacy/insecurity/scarcity. You're negatively motivated instead of being positively motivated (see Leo's video about that). You are reacting to the past instead of creating the future that you want. Focusing on lack instead of abundance. There is a process of letting go involved here. Letting go of limiting beliefs, of fear and all these other emotions that you're holding in and not letting them flow within. Try sitting down, feeling into tensions in your body, and just observe how these feelings move and change if you give them space, without wanting them to be different. You may also benefit from looking into shadow work, basically integrating versions of yourself that have been suppressed, that have been labeled as unacceptable, and that are screaming for attention and love.

Definitely a video about Creativity, and his new course

I haven't personally experimented with it, but it L-theanine has been shown to help reducing the agitating effects of caffeine. You can check out https://examine.com/supplements/theanine/ for a summary of the benefits and info on dosage. Depending on the method you use, you could also try making half-decaf coffee, by mixing decaf and normal ground coffee 50/50.

@JonasVE12 has some pretty good points. Normally, when I'm feeling apathy I find myself seeking constant stimulation and being stuck in a loop, it's more like restlessness at that point, but with a depressive tone. It takes just a little beam of awareness to have the strength to take a break, stop what I'm doing and lay on the ground/bed and just be. With this move you create the space to interrupt the pattern, and give a chance to emotions to move through. Be gentle with yourself, accept and welcome the feeling of apathy, go into it, let it tell you what it wants to communicate, and let it go (the Sedona Method could help here, really recommended). By releasing it you let emotions that carry more energy surface, such as anger. As you gather more strength, you want to change your environment and move energy around: go for a walk outside, preferably in nature, or a workout (running and boxing are great). In this way you get some fresh air (= new perspective), you move from your mind into your body (very important), and you'll relax, especially if you have an open space in front of you (muscles in your eyes will relax and so will you). Another thing that help is to speak to myself out loud, it forces you to express what's going on. Also, you might want to check out this awesome post:

This is pretty extreme, have you done thousands of approaches and did your self-esteem stay the same? You're starting off already thinking it's not possible to get a girl. Being sexually desirable is not the only factor that raises your self-esteem. Recognizing you're on your path, aligning with your hero's journey will do wonders. And you can do that through journaling, contemplation, self-reflection and many other types of inner work. Go out in the world and experience life. Even just feeling strong and at ease in your own body through exercise, nutrition, awareness, etc. will help. Approach it from different angles and you'll build a solid foundation.

Currently reading Attached by Levine & Heller, good read in this context, they talk about these attachment styles. I'm mostly Anxious/Preoccupied, but also have Secure features. Feeling needy af especially when starting to date someone and it doesn't go away by having more girls to give attention to. I crave intimacy, I'm over-sensitive to rejection and often worry about the state of the relationship. It's like I need frequent confirmation that it's going well.

I listened to his book Can't Hurt Me and I would recommend it. I also liked the podcast with Rich Roll of a couple of years back. He lived a pretty rough life, hit serious lows, and responded to that with incredible will power, discipline, and fortitude. Personally I'm quite fed up with the Navy Seals stories, but if you never dip your toes in that field, it's worth looking what there is there. He's certainly a good role model for Stage Blue qualities, similar to Jocko Willink. From him you can learn to go from apathy and stagnation to action. It won't lead you much higher, just approach as you would any teaching: take what's good (=broader lessons for life and inspiration) and what resonates in a deep way, and don't get hung up on the rest, i.e. his extreme lifestyle.

You mean as articulate as he was in this exchange? https://twitter.com/jordanbpeterson/status/1460776261010264067 He has a talent with words, spent his life reading and teaching. Personally I don't find his way with words that magnetic, and usually I'm able to appreciate this quality. Don't get me wrong, it's certainly impressive , but unnecessarily complex.

The curiosity to find out how much I can grow, transform, expand, what I can craft this human avatar into, how widely and deeply I can understand and learn about the world and universe at large, how magical the experience of life can get, how passionate and in love with life I can feel. The thrill of being on this journey of inner and outer exploration, of self-discovery, of playing this game of dissolving fear and unveiling layers I put there to conceal my true nature. Seeing myself as a hero, a warrior. Connection with my body and sexuality. Authentic and creative self-expression. Relationships with other people. Contributing to connecting and bringing harmony between nature and humanity.

Some things to consider: What is the alternative? What are you going to do with your time if you quit? How do the job opportunities look like once you get the degree? Financial situation Is there a way in which you can make the most of this experience? How could you reframe the situation from negative to positive motivation? What is the return on investment on your career capital? What meta-skills are you going to learn, like critical thinking, writing skills, etc.?

It's okay, just a byproduct of lack of experience, it will get better the more you get used to being in the presence of a girl, man to woman. Good thing you noticed yourself this brain fog that comes from being in your head. Next time you notice it, breathe, feel into your body, stay present to what's happening. If you don't find anything to say, don't say anything. Allow a space for things to emerge. Being okay with silence is important, it creates tension, especially when you hold a bit of soft eye contact and a smile.

@gettoefl Three points: Yes, a lot of pick up you see around is devilry and manipulation. But rest assured that there are healthier and more conscious ways to do it: being a connector who is sharing his (masculine) gifts, his presence, curiosity, attention, playfulness, sexual energy manifested through his intent in a calibrated way (yes, girls like to feel desired and sexy), etc. Have a look at these guys: The Natural Lifestyles I would introspect and observe what comes up when you think about the idea of a sexually liberated woman. It's a useful pointer to your own insecurities. If you manage to see through those strong reactive emotions and go to the source of that trigger you're in for some fat growth my friend. A hint: where you feel fear is where you need to look and shine light on. If you observe how a person moves and walks, their facial expression, their choice of clothes, the energy in their eyes, you'll be surprised how many things you can derive about them, and how you can feel different just by letting yourself be affected by them and getting into their world for a second. The key here is curiosity. You're finding out how she's like as a person, how she's uniquely beautiful. And oh yeah, women absolutely need to be reminded of the beauties that they are. Of course a compliment best comes from a place of non-neediness, otherwise it has the opposite effect. And you can simply open with what you observe about her, like "You have such confidence in your walk, ..."

Absolutely agree with this, but it's also the case that the skill you learn by cold approaching and the stronger man you become in the process of learning that skill complements and improves your chances in those more organic ways of socializing. It looks like an artificial training ground, but you're basically learning to be proactive, act despite your fears and excuses, make a good first impression and connect with a stranger in a deeper way, a stranger that could be a girl you find attractive, a potential friend or business partner. Also, on the point of "bothering": I still have that mindset to some degree, but what are you actually doing when you chat up a stranger? You break them out of their mundane bubble for a couple of seconds, minutes at most. You're creating a little space for a potential connection to happen. If you mumble something embarrassing, you'll feel a bit cringey and they're going to forget it 1 min later. If you tell them a genuine compliment, you "risk" lighting up their day , and you feel good. That's already a win, not to mention better outcomes than that one.

Lol, to give you an extreme example, there is a story of this dating coach who approached and shortly thereafter went home with a girl who had no panties on that day. It was a beautiful summer day, she was a tourist and just left her house with the idea of hooking up. Now, of course that's a bit out of the ordinary, both for the girl (she may feel that keen only once in a while, and she might have been uncommonly sexual) and the guy who approached her, because he was highly skilled and specifically looking for such sexually open and in-the-mood girls. But make no mistake, girls enjoy sex as much as men do, if not more. They crave sexual adventures and love to be seduced by men they're attracted to. Sexuality is a powerful force, and once you embrace your masculine essence, you relish the dance of polarities with the feminine. It fills you with excitement and makes you feel alive, in your element. Tell that to your friend.

How is going up to a girl you see on the street and find attractive, noticing something genuine about her that pulled you in, telling her that with a smile, and having a conversation to see if there is potential for connection and sexual tension between you two low consciousness? Yeah, initially creepiness will be part of the process, but I'm sure you see what the alternatives are. How about you assume that girls want you to approach them, to flirt with them?

Last week's video about Investment over years was highly inspiring and got me thinking a lot about how I could be more deliberate in creating the life I want. Here's the time-stamped point where he suggests to do a small but important exercise. I'd like to invite you to reflect and share the 5 things that you'd like to invest in in the next 5-10 years. It's a good exercise to get clear and concrete. I'm also trying to refine my list and I'm sure that seeing other's ways to label and describe these investments will be helpful to get a better idea of what we personally value. One way I'd like to develop it further and make it more visual and aesthetic is to do some graphic art/mind-maps of these 5 labels. Here is my first attempt at categorizing them (in no particular order). They are clearly interconnected and spill over into each other, but that's okay : Self-education Understanding life, learning about various domains and perspectives Developing intelligence, curiosity, wisdom Social life & skills Seduction, Dating, Sexuality Friendships, tribe, collaboration Self-expression and connection: charismatic and authentic communication. Career & Business Life Purpose Valuable and rare creative skills Financial Independence Health Mind-Body connection Movement, Nutrition, Play, Breathwork, Feeling Self-mastery Mastering my inner Achiever, Creator & Leader: discipline, focus, vision, action, generating results, intensity, clarity Emotional mastery Introspection, self-reflection Spirituality Curious to learn about yours!

Just wanted to thank you all for contributing, you came up with pretty inspiring stuff. Keep rocking! I find myself one month later coming back to this thread as I attempt to refine my vision. Having these 5 investment written down and articulated is definitely proving structure for my imagination and daily actions. I'm also taking some time once a month to review how I did in the previous weeks and think about how I can concretely invest in these 5 areas in the following month, and which one to prioritize in the short term. Maybe it's helpful to somebody else too.

@charlie cho It's a great idea to get accountability, but I'd suggest shifting your focus from getting an X amount of numbers (outcome) to doing a certain amount of approaches/having a certain amount of conversations (process). In this way you take on 100% responsibility to make it happen, whereas getting numbers is a bit more out of your control. Even when you get good you may have a period where most interactions go nowhere. Also in terms of the general journey to learn day game, focusing on the process of becoming a more social guy that is able to create deep connection with people is what will keep you going for the long term. And numbers sometimes don't mean anything, but go for what you feel is a challenge for you

James Marshall or anyone of The Natural Lifestyles. These guys are masters of natural seduction and in general of living the good material life. Their approach is the most holistic you'll find out there. James has a great mind, is non-ideological, and has massive life experience, including with meditation (he has trained with monks). For example, this speech gives you the big picture of how learning dating and attraction integrates with your hero's journey.

@flume It's mainly about the time, focus, energy you invest, in addition to the money. The episode was really good. The concept was rather simple, but it definitely changed and expanded my perspective on the "process" of going from vision to creation. I definitely recommend checking it out. Yes I didn't want to include the how, because the list would get too bulky, although some how items slipped in haha. Intelligence would be develop via contemplation, studying and experiencing multiple perspectives, integrating them via contemplation, gaining understanding, etc. Curiosity could emerge from the same process, as, usually, the more you learn and understand, the more you want to expand your map and incorporate other domains. Also, developing gratitude and really appreciating how limited your perspective is, could be another way of developing curiosity. With spiritual practices you can certainly become more child-like and tune in with the beauty around you, which just makes you more fascinated and curious about the world.