Vipassana

It is commonly thought that meditation is a wholesome action & that after conducting any wholesome action, you accumulate merits (basically cosmic currency), so if and when your meditation sessions finishes & you're feeling increased awareness & tranquility, the most beneficial action for you and universe would be to practice "Loving Kindness Meditation" also refereed to "Metta" by the buddhist traditions. Basically, You close your eyes, drown in the pleasure you are feeling & generate wholesome thoughts. For example... it is good practice to generate thoughts such as "May I be happy", "May I attain liberation", "May all beings be happy", "May my mom get established in Truth", "May my dog get liberated from all his suffering" .etc. In theory, it is thought that whatever wholesome action you do with a wholesome state of mind... The universe provides you back with 1000 times the wholesomeness. So directing your thoughts towards affirmations & gratitude, you will receive the same energy back from the universe.

maybe happiness cannot be quantified

@Jahmaine I had no intention at all. I was very young and didn't really know the potential power of psychedelics. I just happened to stumble upon a profound insight.

I personally got a glimpse into my purpose under the influence of 3.5 grams of mushrooms a few years back when I was still in high school, back then I didn't really integrate that experience as my LP but now that I look back, I was shown. I feel like psychedelics can be a great tool for discovering life purpose so long you are clear with your intention & are capable of asking really good questions, especially, the aspects of LP where you contemplate your emotional investments & your vision for the future. Psychedelics are mysterious so you never know what you might discover so its definitely worth it to experiment. I also intuit that you'll be able to spot your own inauthenticity & inconsistencies while on the process of completing the course. Especially if you take mushrooms, them twisted fucks will make you are true to yourself, if that is your intent. Keep us updated on what you decide to do!

Wow. It will be intense. Especially you're fasting so your journey on the initial few days will be tough. I mean you can try.. but don't feel guilty if you fail. Sounds like you have the next 14 days off so if this is your first or second solo retreat & you're struggling a lot then just detach from your expectations & begin to flow with the motions. For me personally, fasting alone is very difficult. I cannot even imagine being disciplined to follow a retreat schedule while fasting. My tendency while fasting is to distract myself when the cravings kicks in. I would recommend you do one thing at a time, if your aim is to fast then just commit to fasting without restricting yourself from anything else. If you want to do consciousness work then focus your attention on that without restricting yourself from food unless you naturally feel like abstaining from food. You need to learn to work with resistance before you commit to a radical endeavor however I am completely oblivious to your previous experiences so maybe you might be able to work it out without torturing yourself.

If you stopped eating meat for ethical reasons then I would encourage you to go vegan. Building muscle mass on a vegan diet is certainly possible & "more rewarding" in my opinion because you are able to bust through myths that surround the fitness industry & set an example for other people. The information that surrounds the fitness industry is VERY misleading... specially the "required protein intake for mass". 'They' have basically used a bunch of buzzwords to instill fear into the general consumer who wants to lose or put on some weight. The context in which marketers use the words "carbs", "protein", "supplements" .etc. baffle me. Throughout 2019, I spent countless hours watching fitness youtubers & attempting to find a regime for myself where I can build muscle mass without having any dietary restrictions such as having to intake 'x' amount of protein & having to eat 'x' amount of calories every single day. I went vegan a couple years back for ethical and health reasons. I managed to shed off 30+ pounds of fat gradually by doing a bunch of cardio & eating more plant based foods but it was only last year, I wanted to start putting on mass. I found myself in quiet a predicament when I started my initial research into "how to build muscle". Basically, My fitness goal didn't seem to align with my lifestyle choices. Firstly, I was eating a diet that consisted of smoothies & some cooked food without paying attention to my protein intake but now I was told that I need 100 grams of protein per day to build muscle. Secondly, I wanted to reduce my sleep quota from 8+ hours to 4-6 hours which entailed that I follow a mostly raw vegan diet and eat less food so that I can spare the body with more energy since digestion requires most of our energy but the conventional opinion is that you need at least 8 hours of sleep for recovery and increase protein synthesis. Thirdly, I wanted to 'cleanse' my body which, for me, entailed extended periods of fasting. As you can see, I had multiple conflicting desires.. yet I wanted to accomplish everything mentioned above. It has been about 9 months since I began to go to the gym consistently with a break in between. My largest break was for 2 months when I went to Nepal in the summer. My record says that I have been to the gym about a 100 times since march 2019 up until the beginning of this year. I have managed to recompose my body in the last 9 months although I haven't gained a lot of weight. My weight has maintained around 130 lbs however I've lost a bunch of fat & gained some muscle. I have gotten twice as strong (on the compound lifts) all while periodically doing prolonged fasting, intermittent fasting, one meal a day, doing a juice feast for a month, being on 'calorie deficit', without really following a strict daily protein intake. etc. I slowly let go of the desire of getting immediate results which made it possible for me to let go of any constraints & explore this whole field empirically. My diet has been changing frequently over the year. I was once eating a block of tofu, few cups of lentils, multiple tablespoons of peanut butter and a cup of nutritional yeast per day to fulfill my protein intake... now I am eating a bunch of fruits, some nuts & some grains everyday. I even tried vegan Keto for a while. Through out this whole time, My progress has neither advanced radically nor deteriorated. I am pretty much surrendered to go through this process gradually without expecting immediate results. I want to verify for myself the things I have heard from other people & they are: 1. I don't need to eat excess amounts protein to gain mass. (0.4*per lbs of body weight is enough) 2. I 'HAVE' to sleep 8 hours in order to gain mass. (as of now, I am sleeping an average of 6 hours) 3. Calorie surplus is a must for weight gain. 4. Fasting causes muscle loss. 5. Carbs are more important for muscle building. The ultimate deception that I have encountered with my research is the phenomena of protein. If you look into the absorption rates & availability of protein sources then you will discover that animal protein have a higher rate of turning into muscle tissue although a large percentage of it is released by the body as waste. Plant based products have a lesser rate thus most of plant protein goes into waste. Regardless of the source of your protein, most of the protein you eat will be wasted by the body & very little of it will turn into muscle tissue. This.. in a sense... debunks the whole notion of 'required protein intake' because... lets say... you eat eggs containing 100 grams of protein... 52 grams of the protein will not assemble into body tissue, it will be used as fuel or turned into waste matter. After much research, I came to conclusion that I must intake some protein in order to gain muscle mass but after learning the facts stated above ^ I was very hesitant to spend hundreds of dollars on protein powders, protein bars every single month. Soon, I discovered something called Super Amino 23. These protein supplements consist of all essential amino acids with the absorption rate of 99%. They are pre-digested & begin turning into body tissue in 23 minutes of consumption. They are 100% vegan and are derived from non soy based legumes. In the month of December, I in-took less than 5 grams of dietary protein per day and was taking a serving of super amino 23 everyday. I did not lose any muscle mass or overall body weight. I would recommend you looking into it. I now have very little resistant to eating intuitively because 'if' protein is a big factor to gaining mass then super amino has me covered. I can manage to eat just fruits, salads, & nuts without having to worry about any dietary constraints. Hope this helps! Also I would encourage you to explore different approaches to diet & fitness. I've recently been learning Ayurveda & they have a completely different approach to building mass. In short, they believe that there are certain foods that will help you gain weight without a caloric surplus.

what technique are you doing? If you're pursuing an unorthodox practice with an intent to "quiet your mind" then you're bound to fail. Since you've discovered that "professional" help doesn't work for you then maybe it time to explore different modalities. Resort to different approaches. Maybe psychedelics will work for you... maybe reiki... maybe energy work like qi gong... maybe martial arts etc etc. doing the same thing again and again & expecting different results is definitely counter intuitive especially when it comes to meditation but don't take it to a point where you're becoming ill. There lies deeper problem that merely sitting for 20 minutes wont help. Yes. A determination sit without a set time might help you. I just recommend that you find a good technique and stick with it. Be compassionate with yourself. What really matters is the attempts you make... not really the results you get.

im grateful

I wake up knowing exactly what I need to do, what I'm not doing, & whats stopping me from doing it.

This is a very compelling life purpose with a lot of promise if done correctly. Its very similar to what I want my work to be about. I am very interested in animation / digital graphics but I previously underestimated the necessity of collaboration & grueling practice that is required but regardless a doable endeavor if you're passionate enough, especially there seem to be limitless possibilities. You can create absolutely anything. It seems like this is your 'first draft' of your vision. I would recommend you do further research & 'hon down' specific aspects of your life purpose. Your life purpose statement seems solid but I think there are many ways you can articulate it that will be more authentic to you. Let me give you an example of how I would rephrase the aspects of your LP for more clarity. Life Purpose Statement: Using my imagination to envision stories with powerful messages, animating them into existence, and sharing it with the world to influence popular culture & ignite strong emotions within the audiences. Zone of Genius: Visualization & Spiritual Purification Domain of Mastery: Script Writing & Animation Software (a HUGE field you need to research) Ideal Medium: Social Media, Youtube, TV .etc. I don't want to impose any limiting beliefs upon you but I also want you to set some realistic expectations on your journey to actualize your Vision. Here are some pointers: 1. Great Animations take a great amount of work that takes months & is most often done by teams. 2. You will be required to build skills such as Digital illustrations, 3D modeling & Rendering, color theory etc etc before you can begin to make compelling animations. 3. Since you're going to be the source of the insights & powerful messages you're going to delivering to the world, you need to take a big leap into consciousness & spiritual purification work. Ultimately... you will need access to infinite intelligence. 4. Depending on how radical your vision is.. you will need to start thinking about leadership, business & marketing, communications. etc. Ultimately, my point is: don't paint with too broad of a brush. It is perfectly fine & essential to have an ambitious vision & at this stage of your discovery of your LP, you're doing well but I personally think you haven't yet discovered deeper intricacies that lie within your most authentic self. Be more clear as to what kinds of messages you're going to be delivering, what kinds of animations you're going to be producing and what kinds of results you're seeking within your own life with your work.

I would suggest you explore different modalities and approach to treat your Schizophrenia then get on board with doing gentle body & mind purification work. I don't see much promise for living a conscious life when people are bombarded with psychotropic drugs for everyday affairs. I speak from a privileged position & I am completely ignorant of the technicalities however If i were to speak from my intuition (which is groundless) then I would suggest you drop the 'medicines' gradually. Usually problems related to cognition are structural problems that need to be reconciled with different approaches.

the best way to know if pork is a low vibrational food is to kill it yourself, skin it yourself, cut it yourself, cook it yourself, and eat it yourself. Then contemplate & self reflect.

wow man. Interesting read. I am in a very similar predicament although I have the privilege to live in California so I'm not very worried about my financial future however as of now, I am broke and rely on my parents money. It is really the initial first few steps I am going to have to take which is going to be the most difficult. As of now, I am open to go to college... get a degree in communications degree (my mom insists that I go to college because she spend years of her life working very hard so that I would be able to migrate to the United States). Here I am now and I have a bigger vision for my life than my mother had for me a decade ago. I am still attending community college & honestly... it is easy. I don't know how it is going to be when I transfer into a University, I would imagine that the work load would be heavy but as long as I am learning practical skills I am down to complete although I doubt a degree is going to impact my life purpose in any way. A radical step for me would be to become financially free within a year, 'show' my mom that I am capable of thriving without having to go to college & present a compelling vision for 'our' life. I do intuit that college is just going to waste my time because I am reaching stage yellow / turquoise with orange shadows. The part where you speak about 'showing' them rather than just presenting a possibility is very relatable. There isn't much I can say to my mom as of now because I have just began to wake up from a deep slumber. My attitude towards life is just now beginning to change & I am just now beginning to crystallize some good habits. I plan to become remarkable, in my house, in my community and in this world however If I were to narrate my vision to my mom right now, she would merely brush it off as wishful thinking. I really do need to show everyone including myself that I am capable of pursuing an unorthodox path. I wish I had a good advice to give to you but all I can say is I feel you brother. I hope you keep the forum updated with your situation.

Thank you. This was inspiring.

@28 cm unbuffed Well no, not necessarily. You don't have to but you definitely can. You don't have to become a professional, just enough where you can maintain your own website, add new features, make changes. Unless you are financially abundant then that solves the problem. We have similar visions, I just value autonomy & creative control a lot and I feel like just being able to deal with any web related stuff with my own understanding will provide me the creative control I seek.

Well my approach is to listen to all of them and discard all of them Only through experimentation am I able to find the 'right' fit for myself. It does give me encouragement to try new approaches to diet if I listen to a lot of people doing different things. You're absolutely right about youtube algorithms, they got my ass for sure. I guess my advice doesn't fit all especially because there are people who are way older and need a 'fix' immediately. I'm young, I ate the shittiest food growing up so right now I am down to try radical things. Its really the structure when it comes to diet rather than the content of my plate. Why I eat, How I eat, When I eat, What do I do after eating... seems to be the most important part of my diet.

Disclaimer: I don't know what I don't know. It was day 7, noble silence was about to be lifted the very next morning & my mind was going nuts. It was about to end and I was ready to break the rules so I grabbed a notebook, a pencil and asked myself "What did I learn & How will my behavior change?". The following is a list of the lesson I learned and How I am aiming to integrate these lessons into my daily life. 1. Equanimity lies in a "Higher Order" than any sensual pleasure. This insight is so deep and so radical that I cannot even fully accept it as I am typing this. What I am saying is that if you develop and maintain the equanimity to anything "Evil" like torture, depression, genocide, or the murder of your daughter beats the gratification derived from experiencing anything "Good". What can I do? I am the very mechanism which reacts. Equanimity & Awareness is prior to behavior. 2. Surrender to the fact that I don't know what I don't know. Speculating is a subtle addiction of mine. This habit so sneaky and painful to admit because it fuels most of my other habits and behaviors. I had crystallized a habit of speculating during my meditation sits. Constantly imagining up arbitrary thoughts like "that guy farted 20 minutes ago, and the teacher coughed 40 minutes ago, so there is only 15 minute remaining". Imagine doing this again and again and again during my meditation sits which prevented me from really soaking in and surrendering to the fact that I don't know. This addiction permeates through out my life at very subtle levels. If I were to re read this post after I am done, I would discover many instances of speculation which in itself is a speculation. There's layers to this shit. An Immediate behavior change is that i have began to say "I don't know" and let go whenever my mind begins to speculate during meditation. Also I can foresee that contemplating "what is speculation?" will help me navigate and differentiate the instances when speculation is helping me and when its harming me. 3. Ultimatums are very deceptive. One of my major self sabotaging behavior is to react unconsciously with the intention of compensating later. "Lemme pig out, I'll fast tomorrow" occurs very frequently. This behavior of creating but not fulfilling ultimatums contributes to the very root of my major misery which is my toxic relationship with food. During the breakfast / lunch period at the retreat, although I was quiet aware that a full stomach leads to weaker meditation sessions, I leaned towards being indulgent. It was a rude awakening to realize that even at a setting where I signed up to maintain awareness & equanimity, I was unable to do so. Slow conscious change of contents has slowly made changes to the structure. I've been swinging in a pendulum of extremes, fasting for days, overeating for days, being a food cop, then recklessly giving into backlashes. It is because of my tendency to lean into extremes, I adapted a habit of generating ultimatums because If I didn't do so, I would face many instances of death which I couldn't have handled. Behavior Change = Wear a rubber band and every time I see it, remember to remember this insight. 4. Cooked Food = Blockages in Body & Increased Sleep Quota Especially wrong Food Combinations and Toxic Ingredients Ultimatums and pendulum swings have helped me in one way and that is to make new discoveries through experimentation. From being a person whose diet consisted of only meat, dairy, egg, and potatoes for 17 years of my life, a few deep psychedelic trips lead to making an instantaneous change. I went from a person who told vegans to "eat a steak" to becoming a full fledged ideological vegan myself. For the last few months, I've been experimenting with Sadhguru's advice that it is possible to reduce sleep quota to 3-4 hours with a simple switch to a diet. I started to eat mostly raw foods with the intention to sleep quota so I can supercharge my life purpose. For a little more than a month, I had managed to reduce my sleep quota to 4-5 hours by simply following this advice. I abstained from garlic, onion, tomatoes, potatoes as these foods are known to increase inertia and lethargy in the body. Through my direct experience, I verified this during my time at Vipassana. A sudden change to my diet occurred when I entered Vipassana. 100% of calories were coming from cooked food, unsuitable food combinations and questionable ingredients. From the very first day, my sleep quota increased to 7 hours even though my activities were static. My digestion was shit for the whole week, I am pretty sure I have at least 5-6 meals I ate which has still not come out and I feel many blockages within my body which has greatly affect my energy levels and clarity of my mind. Even though I realize this, I have already decided to give an ultimatum of starting a 30 day juice fast in the beginning of January and until then I will allow myself cooked food. The change here is simple, I will return to the regime that I was following before Vipassana after my solid food vacation in December. It is not what I eat... why I eat seems to be my major problem. 5. I do not experience Hunger I only experience real hunger when I am fasting and even then it passes so quick that I eventually feel satiated without having to eat. I acknowledge that my desire to eat is solely for pleasure and taste although I have sneaky mechanisms to fuel my eating disorder that tell me to "eat enough calories" & that "I might not have energy tomorrow". A radical behavior change for me would be to eat only when I am hungry which would require me to be very mindful and honest about my energy levels and hunger. Overall my food habits have to be reconciled with my budget, my energy expenditures, and a regime that works best for me. 6. Praying before eating is good practice Throughout my days at vipassana, I discovered that a moment of closing my eyes and verbalizing compassion and gratitude before taking my first bite helped in subtle ways. I managed to do a bit of prayer before every meal at the retreat center, with the intention that I will continue to do the same before every meal however after having come home from the retreat, I have begun to forget, especially when I am reacting to cravings. I am continuing to make an effort to spend a minute or two closing my eyes and practice compassion and gratitude as this has helped my relationship with food in very subtle ways. 7. Time is imagination After surrendering the fact that I don't know how much time has passed or is remaining, I glimpsed a few instances where I was fully present and the concept of time was completely absent. Having experienced this, the moment I started thinking about time, I was aware that I am imagining it and this imagination is relative to the reactive / materialist paradigm. This truth has permeated throughout my life, especially after reading "the big leap" where Gay Hendricks talks about time as something that is created rather than something that is inherent to reality. I am conscious that I am not a victim to time and that I create time so its not that the alarm clock will ring in time and space but I will imagine the alarm clock ringing within time and space. My behavior has already begun to change, my vocabulary doesn't consist of saying "I don't have time" but recontextualized into saying "I will not create time for that". 8. Maintaining Awareness after a sit is difficult This one was very counter intuitive. You might assume that after an hour of mindfulness would permeate to the moments after the sit however I realized that the moments after my sit, I was agitated & reactive. Although this is not an ‘every time’ thing because I do have some sessions where I am left with a serene presence but in a retreat session, I seem to react with unconsciousness. I have started to set a few moments aside after the alarm rings to just chill & soak in the accumulated presence instead of reacting unconsciously and moving onto the next worldly activity. 9. Looking down while walking helps with mindfulness This one came full circle. Previously, I would walk looking at the ground because I couldn’t summon up enough self esteem to walk with my chest high up. In the last year, after having done a lot purification work and practice self love, I finally learned to walk with my chest up, looking forward. I have resorted once again to looking down 4 steps ahead of me when walking as it has made me realize that I am more present. This switch has been liberating because neither I ever liked having to say hi to everyone I make eye contact with, nor there is anything I am going to miss out on by frivolously looking around. 10. Going to sleep with Awareness = Waking up with awareness Goenka puts a great emphasis on maintaining awareness of bodily sensations ALL THE TIME. I have a hard time believing that I will reach a state where I will be able to maintain mindfulness 24/7 even when sleeping. A famous quote which fascinates me goes something like this: “When the world sleeps, the yogi is wide awake”. Not that the yogi doesn’t need rest but that he is mindful when resting. To reach the stage where I am mindful 24/7, I make a conscious effort to observe bodily sensations right before going to sleep which has resulted in me waking up in the morning aware of bodily sensations. I’ve also had instances while asleep where I am aware of sensations on my body. 11. Bad Habits are very apparent in a retreat setting This reminds me of the video from Leo called “Awareness alone is curative” and during the 7 days, I summoned up enough awareness to recognize immediately the unconscious patterns that are fueling my bad habits. My tendency to look at the mirror in complete “unknowingness” and doubt of whether I am attractive to others or not & my subtle habit of rolling in thoughts about food were revealed at a very surreal level. I became conscious of the very thought / energy pattern that sparked and perpetuated this unconscious behavior. Having articulated this phenomenon, I now immediately realize when I am fueling these patterns. I catch myself looking in the mirror for no reason and it is very humbling because here I am thinking of myself as a noble selfless person but I seem to care so damn much about my physical appearance. Same with food, I like to think and project myself as a healthy person but deeper lies a great deception. 12. Dreams seem to be conscious choices It is becoming very apparent to me that I am the one who is in control of my dreams. Not in the sense that I am always lucid dreaming but that it is I who makes choices within dreams. I’ve had many dreams where I can recall having make conscious choices and decisions. The choices I previously made and still make within dreams are mostly fueled by unconsciousness but I am beginning to have dreams where I choose to make better choices that are aligned with my values. 13. Vibes Matter Having entered the world of spirituality, it was very easy for me to buy into the idea of energy, vibrations, frequencies, etc. without actually having experienced it. Although I experienced such phenomena at very subtle levels, for example, I knew people emit positive vibes and negative vibes and that the vibe of a night club is different than the vibe of a funeral however there was never a point in my life where I could tangibly pinpoint these phenomenon. This vipassana sit really got me in touch with the experience of positive vibrations. Moments where I tangibly experienced good vibrations was when I was meditating in my pagoda cell (a small dark room for meditation). I could distinguish a different energy surround me when meditating in the cell in contrast to meditating in the hall with others. A pagoda cell is supposed to deepen one’s meditation by amplifying positive vibes and although I previously believed that this was true, I now have a direct experience that vibrations are certainly a thing. I have begun to take note of what vibrations are and how they work in my own daily life. For example, it is very clear to me the vibrations I emit and how it affects my surroundings and also how my surroundings interacts with my being. One of my mentors always mentions that meditating at night is less conducive because the whole city is emitting lower consciousness vibrations and that morning meditation is superior because there is less negativity in the mornings. I get the sense that this is true through direct experience 14. Sitting with the base of spine erect = concentration. Pretty self explanatory. I discovered that all the times I’ve spent leaning my back against something and avoiding the pain and suffering that initially comes with sitting for an hour without resting my back lead me towards inertia and drowsiness during my meditation. I had developed a habit of maximizing comfort as an escape from pain and suffering of strong determination meditation sits (it never worked). It is critical that the base of my spine is erect as it leads to a deeper session. I am still struggling to maintain an erect back because I’ve only recently let go of the habit of having to use a back rest however I can foresee that in a few months, my posture will be awesome. 15. Empty stomach meditation hits harder It is a blessing in disguise that they only provide 2 meals at the retreat centers. Food is a culprit if your aim is to have deeper meditation sessions. It is absolutely necessary to eat a reasonable amount and always have a part of your stomach empty so you’re not bombarded with lethargy and drowsiness. Many of the students including myself tended to over indulge, especially because the only source of instant gratification throughout the day was breakfast and lunch. I am using the “awareness is curative” approach to resolving my tendency to eat a lot. During meditation, it is very clear when I ate more than I needed to due to the pain and suffering I feel. I am definitely getting better and this issue is bound to be cured if I keep walking this path of awareness. 16. This work is not for the faint hearts This one is mere speculation because I am not faint hearted but I cannot imagine that people would be able to go through the pain and suffering consciously with the aim of developing oneself. It seems to be very easy for people to rationalize their way out of difficult situations so the mind will have 101 deception mechanism up its sleeve to never actually surrender to this work. If you are doing this work, I salute you, I appreciate you, and I love you.

thank you for your interest! When I say raw foods, I mean anything that hasn't been processed or cooked. Some of my staple foods are bananas, dates, strawberries, mangoes, oranges, avocados, dried fruits, nuts, seeds, oils & sprouts. The thing with raw foods is that they require less energy to be digested by the body than most cooked food thus saving you a great deal of energy. This is because many foods come along with the enzymes needed for your body to break them down. However If you're aroused to follow a raw diet then its very important to do it properly! I do incorporate some cooked foods into my diet. Mostly I consume a multi grain porridge which is basically baby food. I love the way it makes me feel and it doesn't demand much energy to be assimilated by my body. My eating schedule is all over the place. Fasting is a huge part of my life and I tend to fast everyday so I have yet to find a fixed eating schedule. Currently, I am inclined to eat mono fruit meals for breakfast & end my day with a multi grain porridge. I would recommend you eat your fruits in the morning, heavier foods such as nuts, seeds, & fats in the afternoon and end your day with a light meal. Your evenings will begin to become more productive as you leave your stomach partially empty. I am still struggling with all this. I have a terrible habit of over eating and giving into cravings but I am carving my way out of it. Raw foods has been of great help. I also just ended a 26 days long juice feast. A lot of fecal matter exited my colon, I was having bowel movements after 25 days of not eating anything! Now my digestion has gotten better and what I eat doesn't take long to exit my system which means that the foods are being digested properly. There are so many resources but I've found John Rose on youtube to be most insightful & practical. Although he's a little ideological about his approach to diet, it makes a lot of sense and people seem to be thriving. I would strongly encourage you to take a break from solid foods for a while so you can experience some of the things people commonly experience.

You need skills brother. This is the time for you to: 1. Meditate 2. Study Spiral Dynamics 3. Optimize your Health & Fitness 4. Contemplate & Journal 5. Start building a Vision for what you want your life to look like. You're not going to want to live reliant on your parents money as it usually comes with sneaky baggage. You are going to be entrenched as time passes. I would recommend you do the Life Purpose course as it seems you have some what of a vision of what you want your life to look like. In short, Don't get a 9-5 job if you don't have to.

You have to be open to letting it all go. Your ideal medium could be something radically different than what you're doing right now & if your instinct is to pursue Art then you'll have to make some major shifts. Get your priorities straight & set time aside every single day to explore. Maybe do the Life Purpose course again. We tend to forget. It took me 3 attempts to gain some clarity as to what I should be doing.

Sounds like you need to buy the life purpose course. The 'how to' can be a multi decade process especially if you're not clear as to what you want. Leo has spent a lot of time releasing a formula for 'how to find the what'. Solid advice is very difficult on forums when it comes to life purpose. Your life is unique.

Maybe take a lil bit of mushrooms? seems like your life needs to get flipped upside down momentarily.

Learn how to code. If you want to be self reliant then building programming skills is a must. You don't want to rely on other people extensively. Websites that host website templates are okay but you don't have much creative control. It sounds like you have time to launch so I would suggest not looking for any short cuts and develop some skills.

@Rasheed Very simply, If I were to write down a 1-2-3 step formula to strategize... 1. Set a clear goal to pursue. (Visualize, Journal, Network) 2. Contemplate! Contemplate! Contemplate! (Ask the right questions) 3. Break Macro-Goal into various Micro-Goals. 4. Find High Yield techniques that you can commit to consistently. If you do step 1 & 2 properly then building up strategies to get what you want will be a piece of cake. You need to think systemically... acknowledge all pieces of the puzzle. Most importantly, acknowledge the piece of puzzle which is yourself. You need to radically honest about your habit patterns.