Hardkill

The thing is that a few years ago, not only did I watch all of Corey Wayne vids and read his book thoroughly over 15 times, but also I was very non-needy around others to point where I didn't really care about finding a girlfriend or having sex ever. In fact, I did mindfulness practice with my therapist for over a year. I ultimately became very indifferent to virtually everything and everyone around me. So I then decided to cold approach about a hundred girls because I figured "I've reached a level of detachment to the point where it doesn't matter if I get rejected or things don't go according to the way I want. I also was quite fun to be around to and people liked me. However, it never got me laid and I was still a virgin who still never had a girlfriend before. That's when I realized that I am not good enough for the girls I want and worked so damn hard on the pickup stuff for a few years. So, obviously becoming "one" with the world and enjoying the present moment didn't work to attract the girls I wanted. My therapist told me that once I become a healthcare professional (which is what I've been currently studying for) then I'll be a more attractive candidate for women. However, I am skeptical of that idea because guys who are good with women have mentioned how having a decent paying career is irrelevant in attracting women. I wonder what someone like Leo would recommend I do.

I am not trying to use anyone. I was hoping that someone like Leo would give me some valuable solution or insight on what to do besides meditation to encourage me to not give up any hope about one day having a happy sex, dating, love life if u put in the hard work like I have with it. Maybe, I don't have the genetic talent for learning seduction or even becoming relationship material for any girl. Is there any hope for me?

Many pickup artists have said that having an attractive lifestyle will make u attractive to women. However, I've been doing serious weight training/powerlifting for over 3 and half years and have a 2nd degree black belt in a martial art that I've been practicing for over 10 years. Also, I've been doing meetup groups and recently joined a running training club. Also, I graduated from UCLA for my undergrad degree and am currently in grad school for a healthcare profession. How many more activities or things do I need to do to have enough of an attractive lifestyle? Or does having an "attractive lifestyle" not really do anything for getting the women u want? I feel like this was such a BS concept that these PUA chuckleheads came up with to gain publicity, views, and money from the public. I've been trying to meditate and working on my humor, but it's still so hard to live my life. Even if I keep practicing these methods, I feel like I'll be a social loser forever. I am 5'9" 163 lbs. and people have always told me that I look like male celebrities like Ashton Kutcher or Ian Somerholder, but it doesn't matter because sadly women aren't nearly as visual as men are. Everyday, it feels like a tremendous burden for me to carry and I try to distract myself from this pain by keeping myself busy by being very physically active, reading stuff, watching TV, being with my parents or my dog, and meditating, doing my work at my job, etc. but I still live with this pain of uncertainty of my future, utter dejection from others, depression, and immense discouragement from interacting with girls or even people. I wonder why Leo never made a video on what to do when u feel this disheartened from approaching girls, dating, sex, and romance. Ive tried analyzing what I am doing wrong in my interactions, but I can't figure out what I am doing wrong. It feels so complicated to the point of becoming an impossible puzzle to solve and I can't even just let go of it. I tried taking a break from pickup for 4-5 months, but it still has been devouring my mind. This really has ruined my concentration and productivity on my everyday tasks. Sometimes I just want to end my life to end all of this pain. Not even my therapists and medical psychiatrist have been able to help me let go of this issue. I don't know what to do anymore to end this suffering.?