Hardkill

Ah okay, that makes a lot more sense. So, I should work on all facets of my life from the bottom top of the Maslow pyramid at about the same time. However, some facets should be worked on PREDOMINANTLY compared to the other facets including usually the higher level facets of my life. Correct?

Guys I tried no fapping for days even weeks on end and I feel actually more like shit, angry, and hopelessness.

I don’t know man. I feel like I will suffer immensely the longer I keep up with that struggle to hold my sexual urges deep in me. Why did Maslow say that sex had to come before self esteem and self actualization? Maybe u can show me how you u do it step by step on a Skype session. I suck at meditating and letting go of emotions. I’ve tried it many times and I never could have the strength for it. I feel so powerless and not smart enough.

Actually, I wanted to address issue more closely. According to Maslow's hierarchy and what Leo said in his video pertaining to the practical application of this vital concept of psychology, fulfilling sexual needs, along with establishing familial and platonic bonds, must be accomplished before one works on building their self-esteem and certainly before one undertakes activities and ideas pertaining to self-actualization and self-transcendence. Yes, Leo did say that you can short-cut your way to the top or near-top of the Maslow hierarchy, IF YOU YOURSELF CAN tolerate skipping many, if not all of the fundamental human needs for surviving and functional well in this world. However, I REALLY DON'T think, in all honesty, that I can do that. I am very horny and do not have ABNORMALLY high levels of willpower or even an EXTREMELY high desire to FOCUS SOLELY on building my self-esteem, confidence, as well as self-actualizing and self-transcendence. I don't mean to come off as a self-centered coward or weak-minded person. I am just being realistic and practical on how to improve the quality of my whole life, like Leo was suggesting for most people to do before they can truly and wholeheartedly, ultimately commit to working on self-actualization and self-transcendence. However, It's quite confusing because many people on this forum, numerous other forums, mental health experts, therapists, life and dating coaches, etc. have mentioned how crucial it is to establish or make sure that you have enough self-love and confidence and esteem, in yourself and work on your passions and self-actualize before you embark upon the world of dating, sex, and romance. Otherwise, you will very unlikely succeed at dating and not being needy by trying to fill some sort of emotional void created from your past. Please help me clarify on what someone like me is supposed to do according to the hierarchy pyramid. I would really appreciate it.

Yeah that fleshlight is gonna feel really good!

I have to first take care of my basic needs and desires. Then I'll be ready to maximize to self-actualize and beyond. Did you watch Maslow's Hierarchy video?

Of course no one likes to be used. I don't like taking advantage of people. Have you done cold approaching before?

Guys, I've really gotten worried that sometime soon in the future, picking up random girls will be made illegal because of all of these MeToo events, anti-men feminists, and sexual harassment allegations made throughout every type of media. It's good that women have become increasingly protected by the law, security, and human rights activists; however, the PUA community has not only continually gotten a bad rap for teaching guys to manipulate women as objects and influence them to become "predatorial" (which is largely untrue), but also it has increasingly received greater hostility from women. Just recently, Gambler, Richard La Ruina, who made a video game called Super Seducer already had its release onto the Playstation 4 console cancelled, because it was deemed too misogynistic. Furthermore, more women have been publicly complaining about how many times they have been sexually harassed or violated by some random creeper out in the street or in a bar or club or what have you. However, I still believe that cold approach is a very useful way to improve your social skills with people in general and your seduction skills with those of the opposite sex (or same sex if your homosexual). So what are hard case novices like me gonna do when pick-up becomes increasingly shamed to the point of becoming against the law to practice it at all? Am I right or am I just blowing this way out of proportion?

Ah, Ok. That's good. Thank God. Also, I will try harder to cut down on my porn time and take a look at the NoFap thread. Thank you very much again for your help and advice.

Bodybuilding or any sort of weight training regimen is always worth it. Don't ever think otherwise. I know that it can feel frustrating because you don't think that it's changing your life as much as you thought it would or feel like it will be a waste of time and energy to start committing to weight training seriously, if you haven't already. I started as a skinny ectomorph and eventually worked my way up to looking not just more athletic, but also relatively muscular. Nevertheless, bodybuilding or weight training isn't just about looking good, it's about vital for your healthy and overall physical strength in life. It also trains your mental toughness for life in general. Also, people will start to notice you more and compliment you the more you get buff. As long as you're a natty and you manage your time effectively then it worth doing. Ideally, each workout session should last no longer than 45 min. to an hour. If you are training primarily for strength and working on perfecting your lifting technique, then you can stay at the gym longer than an hour if u want and have the time to do so because each heavy working set can take up to 10 min. in between sets and it may take more time to work with lighter weight to working on honing your technique. If you are training primarily for bodybuilding then the workout that is specifically tailored for that goal should really be no longer than a hour. Otherwise you will just be burning up too much glycogen stores and can cause unnecessary catabolic on the muscles. Remember, when perform weight training exercises for bodybuilding you have much less recovery time in between sets compared to when you are doing your main heavy lifts. Also, if you stay longer than an hour or hour and 15 min. doing bodybuilding exercises then you start getting into the zone of training for conditioning/endurance. Having said all of that, healthy foods that are cheap to buy in bulk would be sweet potatoes, brown rice, chicken breasts at the supermarket, peanut butter sandwich, breads, and other grains. If you're a vegan, then unfortunately I won't be able to help you out with that since I am not a vegan weight training. However, look up Youtube vids on vegan bodybuilders like Vegan gains or Clarence Kennedy. Those vegans are fucking beasts, especially Clarence Kennedy, who is 100 kg (220 lbs.) and can ATG PAUSE back squat 300 kg (660 kg). Plus, the guy looks as built as Clark Kent/Superman. He calls himself Harry Squatter. I am not sure, but those guys and other vegan fitness Youtubers may have some useful tips for economically purchasing healthy foods for building mass. Oh yeah look up AthleanX on buying healthy foods and enjoying your meals. That guy is a legit DPT and personal trainer for weight training. His methods are a little unorthodox, but they make sense and work. Btw, buy lots of seasoning and salt to make your foods taste better. lastly, having a cheat junk meal once a week is absolutely acceptance, especially for a skinny guy like you.

I finally watched the entire video at least a couple times. It actually was helpful to me to a degree. You're definitely right that need to focus more on getting a job, career, fulfilling my life purpose, dealing with my mom, etc. That's one reason why I have been working even harder lately on those things. I feel like I have become a little more productive and have been showing my parents that I have been showing more maturity lately. However, I am just worried about their being any possible negative implications or unintended consequences to continuously suppressing my sexual urges, especially since I am very horny. I don't want to get involved with hookers because they are illegal. Btw, are u also insinuating that I should stop posting threads and posts on this forum?

True. A lot of it is in my control. I think my depression has gotten better, but I still have ways to go. How do u manage it?

Have u ever had trouble controlling your sexual urges?

That is true. A lot will indeed think it’s creepy or predatorial. However, I believe the majority of women actually appreciate being cold approach as long as it is done respectfully. Yeah I am definitely gonna check out the vid very soon. I am sure it sounds good. Alright, well I won’t lose hope on meeting random people. Thank you very much.

Oh no, I actually didn't really watch it. I overlooked it because I already knew about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. However, since you implied that Leo in that video specifically explains where and when sexual needs should be met in the Hierarchy, I will definitely watch that. Thanks. However, I fear that by the time I fulfill my needs for my job, career, and life purpose, which will probably be at least a few years from now, that pickup or cold approaching women will be completely looked down upon and even made illegal. I don't know. Again, maybe I am wrong and I am just blowing this out of proportion. What do u think?

I know. Though it’s so hard to quit or even reduce the amount that I watch.

Huh?

Almost everyday I’ve been fapping and I watch porn almost everyday for at least a half hour to an hour each day. Sometimes 2 hours a day.

Lol. Are u serious?

So, it sounds like I have no choice, but to continue suppressing my sexual desires and/or masturbate until I figure out a way to get rid of my mom.

You guys are right. I really have to figure something out to stop my mom. I just don't know what to do about it.

So why does Leo say that u can’t just meditate your fundamental urges away?

That’s not the issue right now. As I said in my first post on here, my mom doesn’t trust me with trying to approach random women and having sex with them. Every time, I go out of my home, my mom always calls me every single half hour to an hour. If I stay out past the allotted time she gave me, then she will constantly call me until I get back home. I know, this is very lame and unseemly for a man of my age, but she constantly watches over as a hyper neurotic helicopter my mom.

I can't move into my own place. I have no money of my own. Even though, she still would call me about every hour of the day to check up on me. If I had a million dollars then I would move out and buy myself a nice home or apartment for myself. Then I would pay for the life purpose course to figure what I want to do that it very feasible for me. I would also pay for expensive 1 one 1 coaching sessions that will help me get a lot better with my social, dating, and sex life. I also would buy some lube, condoms, and fleshlights to practice getting good at sex and experimenting more of my sexuality. I also would buy a lot of good quality food to help me bulk up my bodyweight at a healthy rate. I'd give some of the money to charity. I'd buy very fashionable clothing and pay for a really stylish haircut. Plus, I'd pay for special personal training to take my overall fitness to the next level. Additionally, I would by martial arts posts and equipment that would really help me with my training as a martial artist. I may even pay someone to personally assist me in my sparring skills. I would also by an adorable dog and cat from a shelter. Man, there's so much I think I could do with a million dollars.

Yes, I still live with her. I work for my dad part time at home. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to pay for Leo's LP course. I am still stuck trying to figure out what my purpose is in life. I have ideas, but they are so far just pipe-dreams.