Viking

But theres the whole problem!! i want to fulfill my basic needs but in order to fulfill them i need to have them already fulfilled! what i mean, is in order to find a girlfriend i need to have a purpose in my life, as it was said in the book "the way of the superior man". but in order to care about purpose i need to already have my needs met, including belonging. ????????? in order to get financial freedom i need to find my life purpose, where ill want to devote all my time into, but in order to care that much i have to have my needs met, be already financially free. ?????,?? whats your definition of the word "enjoy"? for me its to be happy in the moment, in direct contradiction to what u just said.

maybe it's not the time at which something occurs, but maybe i just cant find something that i care enough about. i dont care about people killing each other, i dont care about people starving to death, i dont care about global warming, i dont care about humans surviving or becoming an advanced high consciousness civilization, i dont care about people living better lives, i wish I could, really, but i just dont, maybe im not mature enough and havent experienced enough of the world.

If you assume "space" you assume materialism, so I will give you an answer based on science. Usually when you hear sounds it comes from some location, so when you hear your thoughts you also assume they come from somewhere, which is a reasonable assumption to make, when all other sounds come from somewhere, but it's false. When sound hits your ears, the nerves in your ear take that sounds and take it to your brain, where the sound is analyzed and then you experience it. When you think, your brain makes those sounds up inside of itself. (of course you can distinguish between external and internal sounds, unless you have schizophrenia) therefore others' thoughts are not located anywhere, but are just created by their brain, so only they hear them (exactly like visual imagination, same thing but with vision). now, you might ask, "how what my brain creates comes into my awareness, wheres the connection?". That's called the mind body problem, and it is not resolved by science. it is resolved by spirituality, which says that there is only mind, "the brain doesnt exist" etc.

yes of course, but it also heavily depends on the way you say it and in which context. In the situation that OP described as far as I understand it, it was very unattractive. Telling a girl that you like her after she started ignoring you is not understanding women at all.

can you point to a certain youtube video that you liked a lot? i read some of "the way of the superior man" actually, but didnt feel like it helped me too much, mostly because he talks more for being IN a relationship and not how to get one as a beginner. like he presupposes im a pickup god

i think you just dont understand women. I think you take the authenticity too far, like an ideology that you have to follow all the time. sometimes you can be inauthentic too, especially at the start with a woman. dont believe people telling you that you need to be authentic if you dont see it working in your own life. like you shouldn't say to a random person on the street that you just farted. use your brain. life is balance, not one thing. but mostly i think you just dont understand women, lack the social context, basically lack experience with women. 2 things: read books like "the way of the superior man", "models" by mark manson. also youtube channels like "RSD", "coachredpill"- i dont agree with a lot of things there but some of the stuff was helpful. keep getting experience, as long as you reflect on your experiences and see what went wrong and learning for the next time you're doing fine. p.s. example for why you dont understand women- of course she wouldnt answer to you after you said to her you liked her or whatever, thats so unattractive to a woman. think from her perspective, if id be her i would totally ignore you also. p.s.s. i also cried a lot and felt sad after it didnt work out with women, express your feelings whatever they are (privately)

i think freedom is the sacrifice you have to do in order to have a deep connection with someone. as with children, you have to sacrifice your own time for the kids. i see this trend with women lately wanting "freedom" more than a relationship, family and kids. i think its perfectly fine when young, but as the woman ages, i find from experience, they get bitter and unfulfilled with life. i think the desire for too much freedom is toxic sometimes and stems from previous failed relationships, in other words, trauma, which they keep with them and cant let go of. if all previous relationships failed doesnt mean that the next one will fail too. youre free to experiment obviously and do whatever u want, its youre life lol, but keep in mind that your biological clock is ticking. haha im sorry if u didnt ask and dont want to hear this advice but couldnt help myself because i see it too often. p.s. another observation is that this mentality often comes with spiritually minded women especially, because they think they can be happy abandoning their biological needs, (like having children) forgetting theyre human and its like they want to be something above human, which usually stems from self esteem issues.

Hi Ella, welcome to the forum I think you will get more responses if you create a whole new topic rather than asking it here, but if you already asked I can share my opinion. open for what do you mean? and what do you mean by challenges? why should there be challenges if you had enlightenment glimpses? have you perhaps had glimpses on psychedelics? if that's the case, it's not about enlightenment but your difficulty reintegrating back to reality after a psychedelic trip, which I would advise visit a psychologist for.

can you point to specific videos? I know there's this whole playlist, but any videos specifically? yeah i downloaded it and starting to get into it a little

in the retreat i went to, a goenka one, we were able to talk with the teacher during the noon and before sleep to ask questions. i dont know how it is in other countries. and also for me there was a whole day at the end of the retreat where people could share their experiences

In his blog post "Tapping Into Collective Consciousness", Leo said that he (im paraphrasing) "got inside every fetus and blessed all of them". I'm not discussing whether that's true or not, I just want to discuss his justification for that experience not being just his imagination, but reality. The justification was, as I understood it, is that there is no difference between imagination and reality. Reality is imagined by "God", therefore everything is as real as it is imaginary. I never experienced god and didn't have any glimpses, but that justification, from my perspective right now, seems a bit off. That might be because I only understand this stuff intellectually, but hear me out: Even if everything is Imaginary, isn't it possible that some stuff is more imaginary and other stuff is less imaginary? What I mean by that is, let's say that our "objective world" with people and stuff is imaginary, as well as a penguin with a huge human dick which I'm imagining right this second. From god's point of view (I guess), both of those things are imaginary, BUT, the penguin is in a sense more imaginary than the "objective world", because it's completely up to me to imagine it as I want it to, yet the "objective world" i can't just as easily manipulate. The point is that I propose that there are things which are more imaginary than others. There are degrees to imagination, but all is still ultimately imaginary. With that in mind, let's take Leo's justification for the reality of the stuff that he witnessed. As I see it, what he witnessed, even though it is imaginary, and the objective world is imaginary, they could be different orders of imagination, therefore they maybe can't interact with each other. I'm not undermining Leo, it's possible that I just don't understand stuff, but from my materialist paradigm perspective Leo could be either: woke as fuck, or that the drugs changed his brain chemistry and internal logic so much that he started to have an extremely lucid imagination (higher order imagination). He probably realized that this might be the case, as he is insanely self reflective and truth driven, but that's the problem where we get to the stuff that can't be proven by science or logic, we simply don't know. That just makes me more afraid of psychedelic drugs and hesitant to ever try them again, as they just might wire my brain in a way which wouldn't get me closer to truth.

good post, though 2 points: from my experience most people who go there never meditated before, so what theyre actually doing there is learning to meditate. its kinda an introduction to meditation which they will do in daily life. i met a few people who really liked anapana and i think they stuck with it in daily life. vipassana for me i feel is not about the achievement of high consciousness states, but rather an environment to clear my mind of daily distractions and let emotional trauma come to the surface. i cried a ton during my first vipassana retreat. that might not be for everyone though in the article they say that silent retreats are bad. i think the opposite, if retreats are not silent all u will think about during meditation is about your conversations. it will be harder to meditate

From my perspective, one cant reach enlightenment through the ego's desire to reach it. He can reach it only through the inevitability of reaching it when he truly desires truth. It's like a byproduct. Enlightenment, I intuit, happens naturally. When someone tries to reach enlightenment, how exactly does he do that? meditation? self inquiry? Those are just techniques, without a real desire for truth they will be done mechanically and therefore with no result. Why even would one want to reach enlightenment? Because he was convinced by Leo or some other guru that he can only be happy being enlightened? The problem is when one tries to reach enlightenment because he just wants to be happy he probably won't achieve it, because he will have the intention in his mind to "reach enlightenment", yet enlightenment is when all intentions disappear. When one desires truth on the other hand, what he will do is observe the world around him, naturally, he will observe himself, he will try to get to the bottom of how he and the world work, and at some point inevitably he will stumble upon self inquiry, he will start to observe his awareness, etc etc. From that point, when one just looks, clearly, with no agenda, with no intentions, just open to find and figure out what's out there, he will have glimpses of enlightenment. To your question, when you ask "can't I just kill myself and be enlightened?", I feel like that comes from a desire to "be enlightened"(being happy) and not from a desire to find truth, because If the true desire was truth, you would want to keep living and find out more truth, not only what enlightenment is, but what love is, what reality is, how stuff works, etc. You wouldn't dare to risk missing all of that for an off chance that you will get all the answers when you physically die. You would then just want to die and "be enlightened" and not to find truth. *not talking specifically about you, im just addressing the question.

idk man, im not enlightened but spiritual practices and self improvement made me happier.

what's with all the black pill fanatics lately btw? stage orange gone wild?

@Mikael89 yea tbh you're pretty hot dude

From the philosophical perspective do stuff that will be the best thing long term. is your relationships with that person important? how much will the choice you make affect your relationship? will you be content with giving up your needs? how will that affect the relationship? will the other person get offended if you prioritize your needs? it's a matter of mind, not spirituality i feel. From the spiritual perspective whatever you do doesn't matter, you can do whatever you like. You're trying to "do the right thing" which is also contributing to the ego, so you're being selfish either way. Think which decision will be best, there might be more than one answer. Also I think no matter the decision you make it will be always selfish, because you're either doing something that aligns with your needs, or you do something to feel like you did the right thing, which is selfish, because you being someone who does the "right thing" is ego. you understand that i see, so the best thing to do i think is to think in these terms: "what will be the action that would provide best final outcome?"

I'm lonely -> I want a girlfriend -> i want a girlfriend too much -> it's harder to get a girlfriend because i want one too much -> I dont have a girlfriend -> i'm lonely I tried to deal with the loneliness alone for the last 3 years but it just gets worse and worse. The fact is that i'm a human and i need companionship. My current friendships don't satisfy my needs. As much as I don't want it to be that way, I need a woman. Another thing which makes it hard for me to find a woman is my geographical location, so all I have are dating apps. I've been on them a few months but I didn't get a 'yes' to go on a date yet. I have been close, but I feel like the women just get turned off because of me wanting it too much. What makes it worse is that I felt like I connected with a few women and got a little taste of what it's like to be with a woman, even though it has been only over text, and the emotions I felt were incredibly strong, which made me desire a woman even more. And not to mention how strong my emotions were when things didn't work out. I never feel such excitement over anything in my daily life, which only downgrades my satisfaction from daily activities. I'm pretty much bored by everything in my life, which increases even further my longing for a woman. I feel like im digging my own grave, how do i get out?

Yeah, that's exactly why im doing all of this stuff. In the past I tried to go straight to the LP and consciousness work, thinking i dont need relationships but i noticed that i dont have any desire for LP and spiritual work, its just something i did because i knew that would make me happy and in a sense "what i had to do". What i really desired was relationships. now im wiser and im moving up there slowly. That is what i plan to do Ok so until now, i haven't talked to girls much, right. but i also haven't talked to men much either. I didn't know where to find people who are open to talk, they are always either busy or on their phone. The main social life i had is within closed inner social circles in my faculty, and i study physics, so not many girls there, though i did happen to talk to girls sometimes, and i don't have much problem with talking to them actually, it's just that it rarely happens. That social interaction with men was pretty limited too though, my "friends" were mostly busy, and so were I. I actually went out of my way to try and meet new people, like in classes, or in meetup.com, but all pretty futile. In classes you cant talk during the class and people run off to their next plans right after the class ends, and in meetup.com there wasn't much going on. in between lectures sometimes I tried to talk to people which were not from my faculty but they all already had their "group" so i wasnt able to join their conversation because they talked about things i didnt know anything about. I didnt have any consistent way to have conversations with people. most of it was in short bursts, during parties or stuff like that that were once every few weeks or months. All that was until now. In a few weeks im finishing my studies so all that is over. What i do have though, is about 4 months until I move to the bigger city, and I want to spend that time fruitfully, but I have no idea what places I could travel to in order to meet and talk to girls or people in general, because as I said, most people I see are busy or in their phones. Most people i ask just say "just go somewhere, do something" but i have no idea what to do. There seems to be nothing to do. Some suggestions would be very cool.

tbh i dont know how to do that. i work on myself all the time, i journal, meditate, read books, nothing helped with the neediness yet. i dont think it's possible to be happy on my own, unless i distract myself with work or get enlightened or whatever, i think that's a fantasy spiritual people have and that takes decades of work. human contact is a basic human need. i cant wait decades to be happy "on my own" and then find a woman. thanks for the reminder ill check it out, thanks.

im currently doing anapana, so youre saying to change to body scans? also why is it important to do loving meditation? i find it quite annoying and unproductive/forceful.

i think you're right and im just disappointed by my lack of results and start to get desperate. so maybe what i gotta do is keep on going patiently. that is all ive been doing. i even went on a 10 day goenka vipassana retreat. ive also been meditating daily and been aware of my emotions, and sitting down to observe them when they come. the thing is they wont stop coming and i keep suffering. also its not only about the emotions, but also about the lack of excitement and meaning and desire for it in my life. i do have a few months where i can travel, but i dont know where to travel and what activities to do to meet girls. also regarding the dating apps, maybe youre right but i did meet a few women which genuinely seemed to want something beyond attention. thanks for the advice, i think that this is what ive been doing, but unconsciously. ill try to do it while being aware of it.

thanks, i am trying to set it up again

i am moving to the busiest city in my country in half a year

there are no busy streets in my town and the average age is 65. i tried even walking in malls and places like that but they're almost empty and the people there are aged 40+ with little kids