Viking

I watched Part 3 of leo's vid of enlightenment with the practice. was it meditation or was it self inquiry? that experience was much more powerful than the most of the self inquiry that ive done, mainly because i came to the conclusion that i am the presence (not the idea, nor the feeling) and it seems that i know for sure "i" am not an entity yet im not enlightened, questions dont seem to do anything for me and im stuck.

Im so lost i dont understand even what to do anymore. ive read leo's guide a shitton of times and watched his videos and still, im getting anxious to start my self inquiry because I am simply too confused to know what to do. im just asking myself who am I, I get that feeling of "i am that" I understand its not me because its an experience and this just goes on a loop that has no advance. ive shortened my practice from 1hr to now 20-30 minutes because Im simply feeling im doing something wrong and I have to look for a clearer way to do the self inquiry while trying not to give up on the practice.

I currently do "do nothing" and my self inquiry is quite tough, what's going to help and at the same time make me more mindful so ill be able to enjoy my life more?

if id do it, would it give me concentration, sensory clarity and equanimity?

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@Erlend K so should I do different types of meditation at different times to conquer all of these ?

@Leo Gura do you have a clue of the reasoning behind making it that way ?

@Echoes @Echoes thanks

@Simon Håkansson dont take me for my word because im a noob, but I think it may be caused because you dont live a meditative lifestyle. By that I mean being aware outside of meditation. Masters come to a point when they dont need meditation because theyre already doing it constantly. If meditation is the only thing youre doing you probably should add self inquiry and awareness during the day. at the end you will be addicted to life, which is the goal

@Echoes do i do this in addition to self inquiry? because self inquiry doesnt really cover that for me, because all i do is focus on the sense of self

@Natasha @Echoes very strange. I know what these videos are pointing to and just a year ago I had the emotional reaction these videos are pointing to without these videos, on my own. i watched them both right now, but this time im just no reaction at all, just knowing intellectually ill die and thats it. happens to me most of the time actually when i do leo's practices. im just sitting there listening understanding intellectually but no emotional reaction or higher state that he was pointing to or whatever. i still see talking about death a bit pointless, but maybe its just me at the moment.

@Costa7 tough. u gotta get over that if you want to know the truth. One thing you have to be careful of at the moment is sharing all this with your family, they might not have nice opinions about all this because they're maybe as afraid as you are, which in turn will make you fear more.

@Max_V can you elaborate please? to me it seems pointless

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@Costa7 look what str4 wrote, he sums it up pretty well. relying on beliefs is not healthy, it leads to suffering, while relying on direct experience leads to the opposite. this vid of leo will answer ur questions i think:

post your motivations to follow the spiritual path, whether they are comprehensible for newbies or not. I feel like the desire for truth is the most important thing in order to succeed in this path, so tell us why that desire exists within you.

@Costa7 Use psychedelics when you obtained the maximum logical knowledge you can acquire. dont even think of using psychedelics if you can break through to the next stage using simple logical thinking. it will simply just confuse you even more. I recommend you to watch more of leo's vids. psychedelics arent addictive substances. you come at peace with religion when you gain enough knowledge and see religion as it is, it will come naturally. a thought experiment that can help you is - why is it that your religion is the right one among the vast amounts of religions out there? islam, judaism, buddhism, hinduism etc. wouldnt it be a strange coincidence that the religion you were raised in is the right one?

@eputkonen why did you want to know the truth ?

@LaucherJunge Maybe for you it's a healthy road to become enlightened. Take sadhguru for example. he became enlightened without any intention to. Maybe you will get enlightened but it will take longer.

@Leo Gura How much time after daily self inquiry and meditation is it smart to do the first retreat ?

I usually have to ask myself a question a shit ton of times before I can genuinely answer it, and even that comes pretty rarely. for example my last inquiry i did 1 hour and i had a sense of myself about 20 times max, the rest was monkey mind and trying to set up the mood to answer a question because i cant just answer it because i ask it and there is no answer. does it come with time? or is there a more efficient way to ask questions? I heared people talk about visualizations and looking at who you are. Can you elaborate if you know the technique and are there any more techniques?

why asking yourself over and over again the same question makes you realize you are nothing? is it because all other options are eliminated and thats the only option thats left? Also if enlightenment is just a realization why doesnt it stick?

what kinds of retreats are there what are they good for why are they important pitfalls how to plan

are you going to meditate the rest of the time? what kinds of meditation?

@cetus56 there are unconscious answers for example i ask "who is aware?" and then my brain just plays along with the words and says "sure, me" but I dont feel anything, just like your spouse for example asks you what do you want for dinner and you say "i dont want to get a new couch". on the other hand sometimes I ask myself "who is feeling this leg" and I get kind of an emotional response that I feel is what i really think, and then what I do is realize this is not me because its just a perception. but this happens rarely.