Viking

@Space Thank you. I had the knowledge of your comment but not quite the wisdom. Your comment translated a bit of that knowledge into wisdom What do you mean by 2 hours a day? in leo's vid regarding access concentration he says that the concentration should be extreme sharp concentration and be increased with time 1 min , 2 ,5 ,10, 20 like that. the breath awareness is something I do after the 1 minute, as a casual meditation (an insight one) and not as a concentration one.

when I exhale, im not exhaling fully AT ALL if i dont use my abdominal muscles. the breaths are extremely shallow if i try to breathe horizontally. on top of that, what i breath with my chest, vertically, I can keep my body very relaxed and breathe deeply without using any abdominal muscles. it feels as though it's exactly the opposite for me. it's also not fulfilling to breathe from the belly, compared to the chest.

@Nahm thanks for the answer, I finished for now the army btw and now I meditate daily, about a week already and not stopping nor pausing. regarding the abdominal breathing (every breathing is engaging the diaphram, as you made me research about now) I feel like Im not breathing fully when I do that. when I get full belly and cant breathe through the belly anymore, I can continue inhaling with chest breathing, making my belly breath feel not satisfying. in a word im confused as fuck as to know how to breathe. I just researched for about an hour and couldnt find any conclusive way to breathe because every source says something different. If you could provide me with some technique to improve my breathing it would be greatly appreciated.

You remind me of myself a lot, very similar circumstances, studies, started LP course, faking emotions, victim mentality, yours are more extreme, probably because you're a bit more ahead in the journey. Dunno what to say except dafuq did you expect from the journey? It wouldnt be worth it if it was all rainbows now, wouldnt it? For me it's as long as I dont quit im good.

@Torkys what should people want other than happiness? by happiness I consider enlightenment and peace too

@LaucherJunge what is breathing meditation for? I dont see anything beyond practicing concentration

@Maxx a) so do you just watch youtube satsangs daily? b) did anyone get enlightened using that method?

@Maxx but that's much less accessible than self inquiry for example, which is very hard i'd say.

@Maxx what is advaita communication?

http://www.afr.com/lifestyle/why-mindfulness-isnt-good-for-you-20170826-gy4ygo are his statements ignorant? or provide some insight? why so?

I understand only conceptually and only with belief that I dont exist. this belief is supported by the fact that I cant find myself while I do self inquiry. but that's all there is to it, I didnt realize yet truly that I dont exist. with all that in mind, the character I perceive myself to be wants approval from others, feels good when it gets complimented, wants to be better than others, etc. how should I (this character) approach these desires? should I just accept them, not follow them and move on? or should I inquire into what do I really want behind these egoic desires? Or should I just follow them until I realize I dont exist, which then will just make following these desires seem stupid?

what happens if you quit your studies? I think with no connection to enlightenment your problem is very common. find out whats the best way for you and do it. realize you're right now on the bottom part of the wave that is the spiritual journey, I think one should NEVER quit enlightenment work because that's the devil talking. you can minimize it to some degree but at least a daily meditation is essential. for me I experienced the same disinterest in my area of study when i started the work but now im more and more interested.

Are you sure you are not running away from your fears or you are just unsatisfied from your life? ask yourself this. If you are, I think maybe starting to self actualize like finding your life purpose and finding out what you really want to do is a better choice, while also of course continuing the practices. For me concentrating solely on enlightenment just isnt practical, self actualization isnt just about enlightenment. be aware that your expectations of how this lifestyle is like are 99% wrong, because you havent done it i guess, and I also guess you dont know personally people who have. It may sound nice on paper but I think transitioning to this kind of lifestyle will be extremely hard, especially for someone who lived in the western type world (I guess) his whole life. sure you can try it, though living on savings I think is a terrible idea, better to have low income or join a monastery.

depends what you use them for. if you try to use them to understand something that cant be understood by them, it's bad, if you try to use them to solve a calculus question, go for it.

@Serotoninluv lol holy shit this is accurate

didnt mean it in particular to this topic, just a general tip. I think you could check out https://www.trinfinityacademy.com/ empowerment courses, there's a lot of talk about higher self and how to align yourself with it, that's the focus, exactly what you want.

know the difference between open mindedness and developing unpopular beliefs, random tip. I dont know the answer to your question experientially but i read that it communicates by unpleasant emotions, not sure if I understood it right.

I think what is meant by is that meditation's purpose isnt to make enlightenment happen. meditation's purpose is to raise awareness, and that helps to find the true nature of yourself, makes it easier.

if you stop now you will be fucked, just continue meditating. maybe dont use psychedelics for the time being until youre more mature.

how u deal with that? u dont think about it, meditation. realizing that you give meaning to that meaninglessness might help. u take it as if something doesnt have meaning its bad, which is a meaning.

at the start meditation is all about getting used to do it, no matter by which means. later you can develop a non judgemental approach, right now you cant do that because you struggle to do the meditation. check that post out

nothing to do with it. you can fap all you want. it's first you're enlightened then you dont want that much sex anymore because it's not as joyful as other stuff (of course depends).

develop negative and positive motivations. for example a negative motivation would be- if i wont meditate I will keep suffering from my monkey mind and I will suffer from negative thoughts for the rest of my life and a positive one- I will be able to think more clearly, be more creative and enjoy life more. that way one takes you by the shirt and pulls you forward and one pushes you on the back so you will be more motivated. at the end of the day its all a matter of habit, just to get to the habit is the hard part and motivation helps with that.