Buba

I know I sound stupid, but I am in a desperate situation. I have got fibromyalgia and it is a disease nobody knows why it happens. I feel excruciating nerve pain in many places on my body and there is no reason behind it. All tests show me very healthy and brain sends horrible pain signals. It has been more than 1 month I got this disease and I am contemplating suicide, but I do not have guts to do it. Do you know any real mystics/guru, not a scammer, who can stop my pain? Or is there a spirit, demi god to stop my pain?

I am begging God to send cure for this disease, but scientists do not even know what causes it.

Is my pain of fibromyalgia, which started because my stupidness, a coincidence or my destiny pre-determined?

She is in remission probably. Fibromyalgia has no cure.

Very good. When did she have pain last time?

It is incurable. I have checked reddit. There is no single case cured.

I am experiencing intense pain non-stop every second for more than one month. I got fibromyalgia. Nothing helps, no medicine stops the pain. Because the pain does not have underlying condition. My body is healthy, but pain signals come non-stop, as if I am getting stabbed, my bones are getting crushed. I am in agony. And I am asking the God, why? Why did you do this to me? I was going to psychoanalysis for almost 5 years to heal myself. Why did not you let me to go on with psychoanalysis and get my nerve system healed. If I got healed Then I would never get fibromyalgia.

I have always been attracted only to women. Now because of psychoanalysis I started to release repressed gayness. It is awful. I feel attracted to men as well. You will say homosexuality is normal. Yes it is. But I dont want to be attracted to men. The whole my life was constructed on brotherhood. I enjoy it. Being gay destroys my life. Please, tell me any method which will keep me only straight. I know it sounds absurd, everybody says it is impossible to stop homosexuality. But I still have hope. May be some kind of vizualizations or affirmations or other things or medication may help.

I recently got 4 more protrusions and 2 more disc hernia on my spine. Until now I had one disc hernia. Now I have 4 protrusions and 3 disc hernia. I have horrible pain on every part of my body. I cannot stand it. But spirituality says to accept pain, to abide in pain. How? How can there be comfort in pain? Why is my life so awful? I would still meditate even if I had a nice life. What is the point of giving me a horrible life? Would not it be good if we lived in pure bliss without pain? If there is a god why does it doing this?

But my life does not look like a coincidence, especially the bad things that happened to me. As if some higher being plotted it.

Does it mean that we humans are highest intellectual conscious beings and there is no super being god who has a performance?

This is not a coincidence. God planned everything to make my life horrible. Why? What is the point? I could live a nice life and engage in spirituality. I had lived much pain anyway, that was enough. Pain should not exist. For example, dragon does not exist. So there are things that do not exist and pain could be one of them. If somebody commits suicide, where is unconditional love?

Go to psychoanalysis.

There is no self to have free will. The actions, thoughts are like a wind, they are the result of cause-effect chain since Big Bang.

This is what you told me 20 days ago. Why did you come to this conclusion?

Who decides, who makes choices and based on what, if it is not pre-determined by causes and effects since Bing Bang?

Thought is like a wind. It does not have a creator, an agent. It is pre-determined since Big Bang which thought will arise.

Why do you do psychedelics? Did they heal you? Did they change your life? If not then do you do psychedelics just for short lived fun/experience?

This pus must erupt. I am afraid low does will not make it.

I want to do LSD. I have done everything - psychiatrists, antidepressants, psychologists, sport, meditation, psychoanalysis - and nothing helped. I have pus inside which must erupt. What kind of process?

@Grant6 Any permanent changes in your psyche, mood?

I never had an enlightenment experience, but I had a Dark Night of the Soul. And during this time once an idea came to me. I don't know if I saw something, experienced something or just thought something, but the idea was "the answer to the question, if God exists or does not exist, is there is no "exist" or "does not exist" in that realm".

@Breakingthewall @Javfly33 @catcat69123May psychedelics harm my psyche temporarily or permanently?

I have been going to psychoanalysis for more than two years. I had those expectations mentioned by @Motar. But I see no healing. I have pus inside me which I want to discharge. I feel that if I don't discharge that, I will always suffer. Before psychoanalysis during meditations that pus was always coming up, it was very painful, but each time it came up, I could not discharge. Psychoanalysis also did not help me to discharge it. That is why I want to do LSD to discharge that pus and relieve forever.

I wonder too. Unfortunately he seems to not come here anymore.