Emerald

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Posts posted by Emerald

  1. Posted

    17 hours ago, CARDOZZO said:

    What do you recommend to heal shame?

    Books? Practices?

    I recommend Shadow Work as this is about loving and embracing the parts of yourself that you have pushed away and rejected. And there are lots of practices for this.

    One is to practice dropping judgment by accepting both halves of all polarities.

    For example, if someone has the idea that to be passive is good and to be aggressive is bad... that means they will begin rejecting any part of themselves they deem as aggressive. 

    But if they instead recognized these as neutral qualities that can be express in positive and negative ways, they can accept both sides of the polarity.

    But it's also important to accept ourselves unconditionally, even if we were to have the worst expressions of the traits.

  2. Posted

    18 hours ago, aurum said:

    Not for the average Trump voter.

    They love that stuff.

    Of course Trump voters won't budge in relation to the debate.

    But the debate is for reaching undecided voters and normies. And for that, Kamala came off as normal and articulate... and Trump came across as unhinged and uncharismatic.

    So, this debate was a big loss for Trump as it will ONLY be accepted and energizing to people who are already really into him.

    It will scare away moderates, independents, and undecided voters.

  4. Posted

    7 hours ago, AION said:

    I just watched all the videos in the series. As far as I understand judgement is the root of all evil. 

    One must stop judging ourselves and just be unconditionally ourselves aka shameless. 

    It kind of makes sense. I know the good kind of fuck boy who is liked by girls and other people. They are liked because of the shameless - self love - they have. Compared that to a good guy who is full of shame wondering why he is not liked by girls. 

    Shame is the dimming of your light. If one understands only god can judge, one can be truly himself and re-enter the garden of Eden. 

    Thank you for checking out the series. 

    And yes, judgment is commonly the root of "evil" actions.... because we begin to view ourselves as good guys fighting the bad guys. And we dehumanize the bad guys.

    But this also opens up the possibility that we are bad/invalid because we're viewing the world that way.

  7. Posted

    4 hours ago, Keryo Koffa said:

    It's funny, people lose themselves in incel vs celibate vs player vs tryhard believing in one over the other

    when it's all equally useless ego-reinforcement dichotomies for a toxic coping mechanism

    This video should be a requirement for joining lol

    I ALWAYS think about this SPECIFIC video that I watched nearly a decade ago when I think about Red Pill guys and PUA guys.

    They're really just Incel guys that solves the 'fake growth' problem. But they haven't addressed the real issue.

  8. Posted

    19 hours ago, Lyubov said:

    I've been through this before myself. I can say that it was eye opening to me. A lot of it comes from beliefs about love and relationships that need to mature, and it's not just for men but women too. We have these ideals about love , we commodify it, we believe we need another person in order to have value when we don't, we can take on a very narrow perspective especially when in love because we see this person as sort of the fix for our addiction. The wider implications are relationships are always changing, love is not a commodity so this person isn't actually giving us anything just mirroring back what we have created, and that lastly and most importantly we don't need another person to be whole and should be prioritizing our own path. So all of this can really contradict and create a conundrum where we have to actively prioritize what is true and what benefits us the best and most in the most honest and authentic way and often times this can come at the expense of our ideal laced relationship which was filled with all sorts of intense passionate highs from sex and travel and really all the amazing stuff that is relating to people. Many people have a natural appreciation for relating. So the life lesson of sorts is to expand and really start to see the bigger picture, which doesn't seem to ever end. I know this exact topic intimately. my 3 year relationship ended exactly over this and many of the things you wrote here were a dynamic which my ex and I struggled with. I have heard her side quite well and have explored mine also so to me I feel very comfortable with my understanding on this. Basically I see this as an opportunity to approach love and relationships from a different angle and drop a lot of the ideals often times placed on them. I'm not sure the next time I will have a girlfriend. I definitely know I don't want one that prioritizes me as an ATM. 

    Well said.

    Now certainly, it's important to not be seen only as a provider of funds. The love and mutual connection element has to be there. 

    And there really are people who want to take advantage that exist out there, like gold diggers.

    It's more of a matter of taking into consideration practical things like a potential partner's work ethic and level of financial stability, as these factors will determine how much peace of mind you'll have and how sustainable the relationship will be.

  9. Posted

    13 hours ago, AION said:

    Thank you. I agree that I have chronic shame. It is also part of a pride culture of my parents. And pride and shame are connected. 

    But the thing is giving yourself self love is like asking a poor guy to stop being poor. I don’t think people can love themselves in the secular sense. One needs to connect to god or something. And be given he or she can’t himself / herself. 

    Shame is self consciousness. It is when Adam and Eve saw themselves being naked after the forbidden fruit which granted them self consciousness . It is the original sin. The price we paid for being self conscious and being our own gods. 

    The thing about shame is that, if you put ANY conditions on your validity, it just creates more shame.

    And because another person's affection is conditional, it will just exacerbate the shame issue if you see getting those affections as a necessary pre-requisite for recognizing your own worth and validity.

    That's not to say that you must stop seeking connection. It's that, seeking connection as a pre-requisite for letting go of shame and accepting yourself will just create deeper levels of shame. And that's true if every woman in the world started knocking down your door. 

    You see this pretty often with successful PUA guys who sleep with 100s of women, but are approaching their desire to be with women from a place of shame. They get good at getting women attracted to them, and on the surface it creates a temporary feeling of validation. But it just brings them deeper into shame and self-hatred... and typically really negative feelings towards women as well.

    Also, I made a video about shame and the creation story... and the original sin. It's from my shame and love series.

    I'll link it here because I think it will help you... 

     

  11. Posted

    @Tenebroso If you haven't had the types of experiences with women that you want to have, what do you attribute that to?

    I can tell you right now with 100% certainty, that it doesn't have to do with your level of physical attractiveness... or even personality attractiveness... or anything core to your nature.

    My suspicion is that you are getting too in your head about things and not opening yourself up to having jokey lighthearted fun with women... or in general. And I can tell by what you're written that you're letting your mind get in the way of your ability to engage in a relaxed and open way.

    Every relationship I've ever been in has always begun with witty jokey flirty banter that eventually morphs organically into something more. And if you're too worried about making her uncomfortable to be open and playful, you're not leaving space open for something more.

    Now, be sure to socially calibrate with this. Don't go 0 to 100. That would make a woman feel uncomfortable.

    Instead, just begin by having relaxed platonic conversation and build rapport and throw in a joke here and there. And as more and more rapport is built you can escalate slowly into more flirtatious banter. But the key here isn't to have an agenda and not to overthink it. And just have fun.

    And chances are that your room mate is probably a naturally gregarious flirty guy if he's getting lots of female attention.

  12. Posted

    39 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

    I never understood why a woman who has a genuine concern for the upbringing of her children and family is considered some sort of gold digger or insecure or loving the man for wrong reasons or even incapable of loving men. It's a simple concern yet it's a very legitimate concern every woman should have, why should she be shamed for it. Is it the projection some men's own insecurities producing this cognitive dissonance in them? 

    I think a lot of comes from guys who haven't experienced a longterm relationship with a woman, and don't consider the practicalities of how things like a partner's work ethic, job, temperament, ethical code, etc. are the MOST important factors for how sustainable a relationship is... and just not realizing how vulnerable and stressed it leaves a woman and her children if her partner has deficits in these areas of life.

    Often times, before someone experiences a relationship and they lack the knowledge of how a real relationship works, there are focuses more towards intangible things like sexual feelings and physical attractions. And I notice that this is especially common in young inexperienced men who are drawn to women mostly out of a desire for sexual experience.

    And from that point of view, any considerations of things beyond pure physical/sexual attraction might be viewed as cold insincere gold-digging because they just don't realize how much of a dampener of peace, health, and happiness it can be to end up with an unsupportive partner. And they may not even be thinking of things beyond the physical attractions and read raw sexual desire as more sincere than the more complex considerations that mature women go through when selecting a long term partner.

    And often, the type of guy who sees these kinds of relationship considerations as gold-digging will often be hyper-focused on his own agenda and vulnerabilities (like the fears of a woman not genuinely wanting him but wanting his money). And because he is hyper-tuned into his vulnerability, he may not be able/willing to exercise empathy towards why a woman might take these things into consideration.

  13. Posted

    45 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

    Exactly. That's why men are so critical of women because they see these qualities in themselves in the opposite way and think all or most women do the same with men. They refuse to see how a woman is justified in being concerned with how her family is going to be taken care of if she falls for a broke man. They themselves don't even respect women that does this. They level up while with the one that accepted them broke, then leave her for the one that wouldn't after they get their shit together. 

    Yes. Any accusation of objectification and hypergamy is a confession... since men are commonly objectifying and hypergamous regarding women's looks. 

    It's just that the men who don't realize they're being objectifying will project onto women their own tendency to view women as merely the sum of their parts... and they will believe that women see them as nothing more than the sum of their parts.

    But of course, going for a guy who isn't mature and doesn't have his life together will be terrible for child-rearing.

    And a man not making enough money to be stable, means the woman would be needing to sacrifice the quality of life of her children to choose that guy.

    And of course, if he has no job, that's typically a red flag that she will need to carry so much more weight to make things go.

    I always think about this cartoon character to be a PSA as to why it's important for a woman to consider factors like money, job, work ethic, etc. when looking for a partner...

     

  14. Posted

    1 hour ago, Tenebroso said:

    What if you accept yourself and women still are not attracted to you?

    Is there really someone for everyone?

    I'm sure there have been women who are attracted to you if you're generally socializing. You just may not have known it because women can be reserved about sharing their feelings out of nervousness that they aren't returned.

    But let me assure you... I'm originally from a redneck town, and as a teenager even the creepiest least attractive guy that I knew had girlfriends just because he was socializing with girls.

    And let me be clear that most girls were freaked out by this guy because of his tendency to be very touchy feely and sexually inappropriate in a socially inept ways. He was the "Where's my hug at?" kind of guy.

    He also genuinely looked like a walrus... white mustache and all. And if I recall correctly, he had a genetic issue where he had webbed toes on one of his feet. But that might have been someone else... as it's been nearly 20 years since I was interacting with him.

    But if he can get girlfriends, literally anyone can.

    And he's just the most memorable example of a person you might have assumed can't get a girlfriend, getting girlfriends (multiple over the years I knew him).

    But being from a redneck town, I can tell you that there were tons of boys/men who were unappealing in a variety of ways (being ugly by societal standards, missing teeth, being crazy, creepy, unintelligent, etc.) who had girlfriends and/or wives.

    So, literally anyone can find a partner... many in fact. But you have to put yourself out there and socialize.

    So I have to ask... are you interacting with women? Do you have any women in your social circle? Have you tried joking, flirting, and engaging in banter? These are things that are necessary to open up the possibility that something would happen. 

    Otherwise, it would be quite uncommon for a woman to initiate on you without any indication that you like her. And women generally won't express those kinds of feelings towards a guy or come onto him unless she's sure that he's attracted to her.

    Women generally tend to be a bit more averse to overstepping those bounds and grossing a guy out.

  15. Posted

    Of course women experience that level of interest and attraction towards the men they have feelings for. And it isn't just some utilitarian thing.

    Women can get super obsessed with a particular man because she like his personality and likes being around him... in a way that doesn't even have to do with ANY specific quality he has... not even looks.

    People fall in love with other people. It's just how it is.

    Also, women could (and often do) come to similar conclusions to the one you did but with regard to men not being capable of feeling real feelings towards women. And that's because of a VERY common pattern of men only liking us for surface level qualities like physical appearance.

    And you mentioned looks as one of the main elements of what gives you the warm and fuzzies towards a woman.

    But you don't recognize that you're engaging in a similar type of objectification that you fear is the nature of female attraction. You're just not used to being objectified for your looks, so you don't recognize it.

    But what you said above would be the equivalent to a woman saying "It's a shame that men only capable of objectifying us and liking us for our looks and sex appeal, when we just need a man to have a spiritual interests, innate intelligence, a big penis and a fat wallet to be irrationally infatuated with him."

    So if you introspect a bit, you can recognize that the objectification that you assume women are doing to men is actually something that you yourself are doing... and that that's a big part of where these concerns and projections are coming from.

    The more a man sees the value of women through a more objectifying lens, the more he will come to believe that women are objectifying him.

    But this is only his own reflection staring back at him.

    You just don't recognize it as such because you are not used to being objectified based on your looks. And then you worry that women will do the same to you based off of money.

  16. Posted · Edited by Emerald

    1 hour ago, AION said:

    I talked about what you told me with a female friend (she is helping me with this stuff). And from my experience women don’t ruminate on male shame. And she is not interested on ruminating on this topic. 

    From the female perspective she just want a confident guy. You might call it “a guy who is not ashamed of himself”. But most females aren’t involved in that. They don’t want to know how to sausage is made. They just want the sausage: the sausage is women wanting a confident guy who is not self doubting or being ashamed. 
     

    I know I shouldn’t discuss these topics with women but I just got dumb struck that the regular women don’t care about male problems. Feminine nature is very ruthless when it comes down to natural selection. 

    Also when talking to female friends I hear that females can be ruthless towards each other while I literally never had any hostility with any men. Actually last week I had hostility with two guys but it got resolved very quickly when they found out I was not stepping back. 

    Needless to say is that I need to let go of the hope of a girl fixing me or giving me the love I haven’t received. It is a bitter pill to swallow. Shame is basically telling to your self “these parts shouldn’t be there” and the opposite of shame is telling your things that they should be there or it is acceptable that they are there. And accepting that as a basic premise going forward in life and in relationship building. 

    For me shame manifests in putting other people on n1 and myself on n2. In my family I always had to do this. So now I need to let go of the shame of “asserting” myself into the world.(( I remember being ashamed of having a dick because I was beaten one time for playing with my dick when I was only few years old. Kind of strange of me remembering that: this is my oldest memory of shame)) And being ok with being denied while anchoring the frame of mind that it is ok to place myself in n1 and that it is nothing to be ashamed of that.

    I’m a chronic nice guy. So if I had to write my own prescription I would put it like this in archetypical language: be less of a pussy, and be more like a dick. 

    This isn't really what I meant by what I wrote to you.

    It's more the other way around. 

    Your problem is only a woman-problem at the symptom level. The real problem is shame. And this is what creates the n1/n2 problem that you mentioned because that is a symptom of the shame.

    I know that your problem SEEMS like it's a problem with women and dating. But it really isn't. 

    Shame is the beginning and end of the issue, and it manifests likely in many forms... and this woman-problem is just one of them.

    So, my advice isn't about alleviating shame for the sake of being more confident with women... as that isn't the root of the problem, just a symptom. And if you try to alleviate shame to be more acceptable to women, you will just double down on and exacerbate the shame.

    My advice is rather to seek to resolve the shame because you want what's best for yourself, and as a side-benefit of resolving the shame this will enable you pursue connection, love, sex etc. from a frame that doesn't come from a sense of lack and a need for external validation. 

    And the ONLY way you can alleviate shame is by practicing unconditional self-acceptance and compassion.

    If you put a condition on loving and accepting yourself, it will create shame in you. And you will go seeking validation from the outside.

    And one side-effect of this is that you will be looking to women to validate you so that you can finally love and accept yourself. And of course, this puts all sorts of pressure and stakes into romantic interactions that aren't actually there.

    And once you come to accept yourself... you don't need to pretend to be a nice guy or a dick or any other kind of thing to get women to like you. You will just feel comfortable being yourself, and there will be women that are attracted to you as yourself without any calculation about what kind of persona that you need to adopt.

    And seeking out some mentor to teach you how to get good with women... or trying to learn to act like a dick isn't going to help you.

    To do this would be like trying to cure malaria by taking a a fever reducer. It might bring the fever down, but it won't really resolve the issue.

  17. Posted

    2 hours ago, WillCameron said:

    Great response, Marshall Rosenberg would be proud. To add to this point, I just released an article that goes into the psychology of the succubus and how it has defined a lot of how we think about sex. Myths are the stories cultures use to explain their reality and orient them through that reality, and even when that mythic language is gone the way they shaped our cognition remains. The manosphere is in many ways a response to the history of the Goddess being murdered by a male hero God, how that is reflected in agricultural societies becoming increasingly dominated by elite males, and the fertility Goddess being recast as a sexual demon. When viewing women through the lens of the succubus much of the manosphere's advice makes sense. For those interested you can read it here - https://metamasculine.substack.com/p/psychology-of-the-succubus

    Yes, there are many myths that archetypally refer to the psychological dynamic that many men are caught down in when they end up in a Red Pill mindset.

    Really, the Red Pill framework is just the replaying of an ancient mythos couched in modern storytelling... and then projecting that mythos onto reality and believing it is real. And then shadow boxing with the mythos.

    And that is because it FEELS real archetypally, and makes sense of the feelings of pain and shame that men collectively feel regarding the expectation of perfect masculinity that is socially enforced.

    It is also projecting a mythos onto female sexuality in lieu of deeper understandings that stem from empathy.

    One example of this is the mythos of the mermaid. 

    The ocean tends to represent emotions and the unconscious. And women tend to be more native to those waters like the mermaid, while the sailor (the man who is un-integrated with his feminine side) is a land-lover who doesn't swim quite so well. 

    So, the story is of  vicious calculating mermaids luring the unintegrated sailors to drown in the depths. 

    But if the myths were more reflective of the reality... the unintegrated mermaid just doesn't understand that the unintegrated sailor isn't capable of swimming in the emotions and the unconscious without drowning.

    So, in actuality she doesn't understand his limitations and that he won't be capable of swimming in the depth until he becomes integrated with his feminine side (Anima) and grows some gills.

  18. Posted

    2 hours ago, AION said:

    @Emerald that is true.  Lately I have been acting “normal” (less seeking and less over compensation) instead of seeking (trying to get validation and build self esteem) and girls treat me much better. 

    It is in inside out approach instead of outside in. It is just very hard to let go of this compulsion. It is really sad actually: I would just run around town or nightclubs to find validation. But that is just a lot of men. Not just me. 

    What would help me the most is find guys who already arrived where I want to arrive so I can soak up their mindset and being.  Otherwise I become e pray for manosphere guys who are praying on me. 

    I think it would start with knowing where you want to arrive... and even more importantly WHY you want to arrive there.

    One issue with the tendency for men to seek out the help of other men who have "gotten there" is that it often misdiagnoses the real issue. And this, in turn, can lead to a tendency to seek out role models that may worsen the real cause of the issue.

    And there are many men who have gotten to where you want to get to that are struggling just as much with the deeper issue.

    And the real cause of the issue doesn't actually have to do with dating, sexuality, and women. That's just the most symbolically resonant projection screen for the real issue to play itself out on.

    The real issue in all of this is shame and a feeling of not being good enough. And even moreso, men liking women more than they love themselves... and seeking out female validation to try to alleviate the shame (which of course doesn't work).

    And it imbues a projection of false power onto women, who come to be seen through the projection as hyper-objectifying calculated arbiters of male worth and punishers of male weakness.

    And this, in turn, leads to men misunderstanding female sexuality... and instead to read into it a kind of cold power to adjudicate the worthiness of a man.

    So, resolving the shame and developing self-love and looking into any reasons for attachment to female validation is necessary to rescind the projections... which in turn, will enable you to really open up to love and connection with women: platonically or romantically.

    And if you seek out mentorship with dating or seduction, you'll want to be 100% positive that the mentor you choose is not caught down in the same shame dynamic, as it is a VERY common dynamic for boys and men to get stuck in.

  19. Posted

    You're afraid that women aren't capable of loving you and meeting your love and connection needs... and that you will have to go without that need.

    And you also may be projecting a condition onto your own sense of validity and lovability that "In order for me to be valid as a man, a woman (or women in general) has to love me."

    So, this creates fear and pressure and desperation because you want and need love and connection.

    And that desperation is what manosphere coaches and content creators are arousing in you (sometimes consciously and sometimes just a result of them being caught in the same shame spiral).

    And that's because with that pain, you'll want to buy the solution and you will get in a cycle of searching out more and more manosphere information and more and more manosphere solutions.

    And their proposed solution is of course... more manosphere!

    That's why you should NEVER ask a woman to help you with these things... because then you won't pay money to get a manosphere coach to help you.

    So, it becomes the place that supplies the pain and the cure... and the cure is more of the pain... so you need more of the cure... which is more pain.

    And it creates a really pain-filled target audience of men to wring money out of.... and to sell increasing pills to to brainwash them into deeper degrees of desperation. And to ensure that women will get scared off by them because women can smell these ideologies from a mile away.

    But rest assured, that manosphere frameworks isn't reflective of the actual reality. It just takes the worst examples and then says, "This is an unchangeable part of female nature."

    And it creates even more desperation... which is then solved by.... more manosphere.

    So, the solution is to get out of the manosphere loop and forget 99% of what you 'learned'. And open up and be vulnerable... and if you are discerning, you can find a relationship that's based upon mutual love and respect.

  20. Posted

    Just now, Davino said:

    @Emerald Thanks for your detailed answer.

    I've had very similar insights to yours. I just took another decision from them.

    It seems to me that after some point the path seems to satisfy the Awakening urge and it revalues the mundane and infuses it with meaning.

    My Salvia breakthrough made me value real life so much that I cried for the possibility of feeding my cat after becoming boundless disembodied Consciousness. I was so grateful to be a human back again.

    So I really see the beauty in Life and the magnificence of living.

    I just seem to have an overwhelming pull for Truth, Awakening and the like. I don't even have a choice. It does me at every time. I'm in the current of this Universal Awakening Force.

    You're welcome. I definitely relate to this. There's a lot of tension between my seeking/expansion drive and my contraction/meaning drive.

  21. Posted

    46 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

    What I meant is that ultimately, infinity is absolutely empty in the sense that it's impossible that god wants anything, like being an individual, or hidden anything. Could happen relatively, in a given moment in the infinity, but in the whole infinity no, there is no intention, no real change, no movement, just because it's infinite. Then, any perception that we could have, even it seems very true, is just relative,  not false but not absolute. The absolute is just total, is the essence, only the essence is real, and it's nothing that can be defined, just totality, existence.

    I've experienced the emptiness too... after I experience ego death. And there there is nothing and no desire. And there is no self to take anything in.

    But most of my experiences of God have been a more subtle decentering of the ego to reveal God's consciousness underneath... and showed me the everything-ness element of the infinite. 

    It's like a drop that realizes that it's the ocean... or a twig that realizes that it's the tree.

    But I don't claim to know anything about infinity, as I do not know its true nature. And my suspicion is that no human being can know the true nature of infinity.

    I only 'know' that I've had certain subjective experiences of different facets of God, and that the understanding I've taken from my memories of these experiences has led me to certain conclusions that I now use to help me navigate through life.

    I take my experiences a bit like the blind men and the elephant. 

    In my experiences, it has been like feeling the tusks of the elephant. Perhaps in others' experiences, they have felt the tail of the elephant.

    So, my perception is that we are both blind men... and you are just describing one part of the elephant. And I have felt this part of the elephant too.

    I also like to think of it through this analogy.

    Let's say that God is an infinite pie. And I have experienced God in my medicine journeys 8 times. So, I've eaten 8 slices of infinite pie.

    And 7 out of those 8 times, God was a cherry pie with the experiences of oneness and everythingness. But one out of those 8 times, God was a meat pie... this is when I experienced ego dissolution.

    But with an infinite pie, you cannot know the true nature of its filling.

    Even if you were eating pie nonstop for your whole life and you only ever ate cherry pie from the infinite pie... you could not know that cherry was the true nature of the filling of the infinite pie.

    And that is because, you could have all sorts of unknown fillings in the pie that are outside of the realm of your experience. Who knows, maybe most of the infinite pie has a filling of motor oil.

    And that is where the surrender of the illusion of knowing the ineffable comes into play for those who have had awakenings. 

  22. Posted

    37 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

    Kind of like sometimes if I'm on here for a bit in one day, talking back and forth, different topics, different people, all in for about 2hrs straight or so, then.......log off to find myself alone in my room. I can't explain that feeling, it's like before I was all engaged and now all alone in a split second. The difference in feeling is unfathomable and hard to put in words. As if I'm all alone in the Universe, just my room exists and all that talk never happened....then boom, back to reality. All that happened in a split second. So, I kinda understand what you mean.

    It's definitely a bit like that. This was that feeling too.

    But there was also this sense that, when my daughter was speaking I could feel that sense of namaste... which means the God in me sees the God in you. And even though she was just talking about a show she was watching, it was this quick awareness that I was looking directly at God and I could "see" it shine through her face. 

    And for a split second, it was like I was God talking to God in a bubble of experience made of God... and that that was all there was. And it was this quick flash of a feeling.

    But I took it as a nudge for me to recognize how significant small moments of connection like that are... and how that moment was really everything. And it felt this struck me like it did in this mundane moment to emphasize the importance of being present in moments like that with my kids.

     

  23. Posted

    10 hours ago, Davino said:

    @Emerald Thanks for sharing. I've always wondered how highly conscious femenine Spirituality would look like. I recognise deeply the role that my humanity makes in the large scope of my living time, as a matter of fact I know that no transcendence is possible without a holistic embrace of my life as limited form. 

    There's a lot to do in the embodied realms of existence, which can be tremendously divine and natural. Although I wound invite you to consider why this is an "or" "or" situation instead of an "and" "and" situation.

    I've always had this crazy idea that you can do everything in life. It goes in pendulum and now maybe you are in the phase of profound presence and playing God's Game but that doesn't close the door to Infinite Awakenings, Infinite Truth, Infinite Love, Infinite Consciousness, Infinite Perfection, Infinite Self-Understanding, Infinite God...

    So make me understand why it has been the case for you that playing the game has become the new spiritual meaning? And why you've decided to close the trascendental door?

    The reason why is very straightforward. I genuinely don't prefer to transcend because I don't prefer how it is. 

    And in my heart of hearts, I prefer to be embodied as this human and to forget the infinite to embrace innocence and unburden myself.

    Also, it's a little like the difference between a person who enjoys playing video games versus a person who likes to deconstruct the console. 

    Certainly, you could do both. But I'm not as interested in deconstructing the console as I am actually playing the game... though deconstructing the console here and there for the purpose of enriching the gameplay is definitely interesting to me.

    So, it's just a preference. And you could have a preference for one, the other, or both... depending on what your life path is.

    And what my Ayahuasca experiences have shown me is that I was created specifically as God's vacation from God to make the infinite existence manageable for that part of its consciousness... among tons of other things it does to be effortlessly present with and to feel the totality of the infinite suffering it must always be knowing, creating, loving, and experiencing forever and ever and at infinitely deep levels. 

    And it is always encouraging me to be like a hobbit and to have fun and enjoy like I did when I was a child, as it created this life to give this point of its consciousness mercy from the infinite suffering. 

    It even once brought me back into memories of when I was obsessed with Scooby Doo as a young child, and it wanted me to embrace that childlike spirit again.

    It's like in the movie Citizen Kane where his last word was "Rosebud". (I won't spoil the ending the movie here, but it definitely relates to the theme of relinquishing power and embracing joy and simplicity)

    Now, my supposition is that God splits off the parts of itself that are more Yin as these parts feel the pain and burdens of the everything-ness aspect of the infinite and then incarnates them into limited forms so that they can find mercy from the too-much-ness... but of course I'm not sure of this. It's just me putting 2 and 2 together to make sense of what I experienced.

    So, the spiritual is really one and the same with the material. They're not separate.

    And it is the same as any other human being's experience, only with the contrast of the infinite... which enriches the lived experience. 

  25. Posted

    6 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

    I'd say that there is guarantee that your mind is lying you in an absolute level, since any explanation of infinity is false by definition. It may be true at a local, relative, cause/effect level, but at an absolute level the only explanation of infinity is that it is infinite.

    That is, at an absolute level, saying that God creates limited experiences for a reason is like saying that Toyota cars break down rarely. It is something apparently true, on a relative level, but from an infinite point of view it means absolutely nothing. Then that God that does things could be a cosmic force, the universe, anything, but ultimately finite. Interesting, but not absolute.

    I'm just sharing my subjective experiences and what I have come to believe and have chosen to exercise faith in based off of those experiences.

    It is all that any human could ever hope to do, which can be a hard pill to swallow.

    I must surrender to the fact that everything I've ever experienced could be totally illusory (including my awakenings)... but also to recognize that my subjective perspective is the only vector of reality that I have access to... and that it is the only compass that I can operate off of and exercise faith in that enables me to preserve my own sovereignty. 

    And I am choosing to exercise faith in my imperfect subjective perspective as a valid wisdom compass for navigation. It is only then, that I can truly be a sovereign being standing in my own power.

    Though of course, I could alway be wrong. And that is okay too.