Emerald

Science is a perspective in the sense that it is a vantage point from which to view the world. Perspective means it is a lens and vantage point through which to view the world. Perspective doesn't imply that anything is true or false or that it is just an opinion.

I don't believe so. I think consciousness just is and it is everywhere within the field of awareness as it is the field of awareness itself. But the illusion that is given is that it's limited because beliefs and thoughts get in the way. Plus, our putting our attention on something is directed by thought.

Yes. I can flip my perspective in a subtle way. I just become aware that all I know are sight, sound, smell, touch, taste, and thought within the present moment. All else is a thought story, the content of a thought. I get present to feeling that I'm the container holding the content of my thought and my sense perceptions. Also, my perceptions aren't being perceived. Perceiving gives the implication that there is a sense mechanism to pick up on an external phenomenon. Perceptions are perhaps things-in-themselves. There is no perception happening. There is just content.

I'm not you, so I don't know what is the right path for you. But, makes sure that you are acting from a place of wisdom, and not fear. I was considering leaving my husband before because I was so unhappy. But now, things are different and I'm glad that I didn't leave him. I was afraid that he was holding me back, with his super frustrating anger issues. But this turned out to be false. The things that I really want can be achieved with him there and my family intact... except my desire for sexual freedom. It's difficult to think never again forever will I feel the burning passion of the beginning of a relationship with someone new. This ended up being the unconscious crux of my fear that I didn't want to admit to myself. I also, won't cheat because I want to be a good person and stay loyal. My ego doesn't want me to be a cheater. What's the point in passion spiked with guilt? I still have my desires, and I let myself engage in fantasies that I keep to myself. My husband does too. We talk about it. It's normal to feel this way. But I realize that acting upon my desires would just put me back in the same situation, only with another partner. But when I started accepting my husband, things got better between us. We're doing better than we have been since the first couple months of our relationship. But if it's really time to leave, then it's really time to leave.

This video is by Shinzen Young about the relationship between Enlightenment and Depersonalization Derealization Disorder. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zIKQCwDXsA

The first time I did it was when I was 20. I had never tried psychedelics and had always been curious. My then boyfriend was a big stoner guy, and loved going to head shops. One day he was there and he picked up the ingredients which were at the time legal to possess. So, I did it with him, my friend Andrew, and his little brother Aaron. I expected to see funny colors and things like that, but I got far more than I bargained for. My ego dissolved, and I was at one with all of existence. I loved myself for the first time ever, not even realizing the degree to which I had hated myself all my life. Death was no longer scary because I realized that it was an illusion and part of a beautiful cycle. The second time, 5 months later, life was giving me some real lemons. So, I did it once more as an escape than a recreational experience. The second time, many insights for where my life needed to go popped up. I realized how much I was sacrificing to keep the relationship alive, and to fit the persona that I'd come to identify myself with. I also, ironically, realized that I didn't like marijuana. I belonged for years to weed culture and it was a big part of my identity, but I didn't really ever like it. I was so out of touch with myself that I didn't even know. I was at a party but locked myself in the bathroom to enjoy alone time, where I could really focus on the insights. Both were over-whelmingly positive experiences. The problem is that the insights don't translate well to the current paradigm. For example, I had an insight that everything was one thing and there was this pervasive feeling of unconditional love because there was nothing that wasn't me. So, I thought after the experience was done, let me replicate this by applying this wisdom to my life. I sought to have no boundaries. But this is dangerous if applied in this way. A person needs strong boundaries to be happy and safe. But I was trying to translate the higher wisdom in the way that I was used to applying knowledge: abstractly, rationally, externally, etc. Another one was that I realized that my strivings for success and significance were all feeble attempts by the ego to outrun the reaper. I was trading my present moment for a legacy. To preserve my self-image was more important to me than living my life. So, I became torn between trying to do well and self-actualize (which had always been my MO before) and trying to live in tune with the insights that I had received which seemed to contradict self-actualization. My grades dropped and I got very bad feelings toward my work ethic and achievement oriented nature (which were always great strengths of mine. I thought that they were wrong. So, I became resistant to achieving and having boundaries. So, I still wanted significance, even thought I didn't when I had the experience. So, I began unconsciously valuing myself primarily on lower-consciousness things like looks, male attention, and sex appeal. The higher outlet of self-actualization had been closed off, so the significance had to be achieved in some other way. So, instead of riding the wave of life, I got overtaken by it and my life sort of veered off-course. So, applying the insights this way, actually decreased the quality of life and derailed my every-day wisdom because I was trying to replicate the experience by applying the insights.

Sexuality takes this form from the orange paradigm and a more extreme form of this form from the red paradigm. Sex as commodity is the current social structure surrounding sex.

I haven't been to an Ayahuasca retreat but I've tried it twice. I have two bits of advice. Number one, make sure the shaman you do the Ayahuasca retreat with is legitimate. There have been some shady shamans giving quasi-poisonous plants in their Ayahuasca mixes like Toe. There have been reports of deaths and even rapes while under the influence. So, make sure you research the retreat well. Remember that shamans are regular people too. But be sure to read @Jan Odvarko's links that he posted. I actually don't recommend trying it. They were certainly the most beautiful experiences of my life, bar none. But I recommend seeking enlightenment naturally, if that's what you're seeking. Also, don't try to apply insights that you receive under the influence of Ayahuasca in the sober state. They don't yield good results in life when you try higher truths from the average mindset. Wisdom is a state of mind, and not a particular insight.

So, last night I was doing Spiritual Autolysis and came out with a really great insight about "perception" that had been getting in my way. I realized that I was thinking that sight, sound, taste, smell, and touch were perceptions in the sense that they were being sensed. But maybe "perceptions" aren't perceptions at all. Maybe they just exist as they are. Maybe they are (for want of a better term) the thing-in-itself. So, after I had this insight, I went to bed and woke up at around 5 am. I was awake, so I decided to do some empirical investigation while lying there. I focused on the sensations of the body and tried to experience them free from my concept of what a perception is. As I became aware of this, I got this "void-like" feeling like my perceptions were empty and falling in on themselves. There were only sensations and my mind was a bit more distant from me. Then fear came up and the thoughts started becoming louder and pulling me out of the experience. The thoughts were invoking ideas of insecurity about my looks and my life situation. So, I got distracted by the insecure thoughts, and snapped out of it. The ego used these thoughts to keep itself alive. At least I now have a first-hand experience of how the ego uses insecurity to sustain itself. Any thoughts?

Can you explain what you mean by sub-space?

I have decided to come back to Strong Determination Sitting again. It really made me aware of the separateness between thoughts and perceptions. I figured that now, with my recent insights, this will really help me make a lot of progress.

Great video.

That's what I was thinking. I still get caught up in pre-conceived notions of enlightenment, so it's time to tear into that.

Well yes and no. Yes in the sense that doing meditation, self-inquiry, and contemplation will help you clear space in your awareness to have a breakthrough. No in the sense that it is all an illusion anyway.

Indeed. Have you had any similar experiences? Could it be a sign of awakening to the truth, or is it just another state of mind? It reminded me of my deeper experiences with OBE where I'm just floating in a void, but more intense. Most of the time in OBEs I'm walking around in my environment or some other environment, but I've had a few where I was just floating in the void. But I consider OBEs to be another part of the dream and not actually waking up. So, I'm wondering if it's a step toward awakening, or if it's just another novel "spiritual" experience.

Great analogy.

Yes it was Ayahuasca. It's grasping in the sense that it is seeking happiness through future enlightenment, instead of practicing unconditional love and acceptance of the present moment. It is hating the present moment, and wishing for a better future moment. I would agree with this last point. Ultimately, I know that my Ayahuasca experiences have caused a lot of trouble for me. I don't want to see someone else make the same mistakes. That said, the suffering and awareness of enlightenment has become very useful to me in many ways. So, I believe that it will eventually work in my favor.

This is precisely the idea that keeps presenting itself to me over and over in the past few days. I've recently made some great breakthroughs with the perspectives of the other people on the forum. So, now that I've whittled down what is actually true and what is just a belief, the only thing left to do is to accept and love what is.

Looking for techniques or methods for letting go and surrendering to the situation at hand. Any practice to increase acceptance would be much appreciated. Thank you.

These experiences were catalyzed by a shamanic tea that physiologically acts on the brain structure responsible for creating the ego identity. Most people don't have enlightenment experiences from drinking this tea, but I did both times I tried it. So, they weren't permanent, but I did get a glimpse of what it is like to be enlightened. They were the most beautiful hours of my life. So, coming back to the average perspective, with abstract knowledge and memories from having experienced ego-transcendence, there have been many drawbacks. Number one, I have spent years trying to replicate the experience, so it is grasping for a future moment. You can only achieve enlightenment by accepting the present moment. Number two, it gives me a false impression that I know what it is like to be enlightened. I do not. The experiences are now only a memory and because memory is a thought, it cannot comprehend the enlightened paradigm. It doesn't translate. Number three, after the experiences, I made many foolish decisions because I was trying to apply the insights I remembered from the enlightened state from the non-enlightened state. Wisdom is a living, breathing, ever-changing thing. What is wise now, could be foolish five minutes from now. Number four, I'm a hot mess now. I've had the best and now everything else feels grossly inadequate. I'm acutely aware of my suffering. I can't buy into reality fully but I also haven't successfully transcended ego. It's like being stuck in limbo. So, there are many drawbacks. This is why I don't recommend using psychedelics or other entheogens. If there was one thing that my experiences gave me is that I don't have to exercise any faith that enlightenment is real. I probably would have given up on enlightenment had I just approached it out of curiosity. It's a pretty intense process.

Boil down what you perceive. You perceive only sight, sound, taste, touch, smell, and thought and only in the present moment. All else is belief, which is only ever the content within a thought. When a thought comes up just perceive that it has come up. Don't identify with it or try to stop it. It isn't you. It doesn't come from you. You have no control over it. Just notice it come up and focus on another perception to keep yourself from being mired in its content. You will notice that your awareness it outside of your thoughts. It's the difference between being caught in a trap and watching the trap.

It's not a need in the sense that you need it to survive. But I would certainly call it an instinct.

Get there early and start a nonchalant conversation with one woman. Gauge for her response. She'll probably already suspect you're interested because women get approached all the time. But keep it nonchalant and gym-conversation related for the first few conversations, because you don't want to seem like someone who goes to the gym to meet girls. Then, after an adequate acquaintanceship is struck, weave in some flirting. If her response is good, ask her if she'd like to go for coffee some time. Just keep advancing and gauging her response. If she seems receptive take a step forward. If she doesn't, take a step back. It's the mating dance. She invites, you approach.

Watch in the order the the has them posted, starting with the earliest. All of his newer videos depend on knowledge shared in the older videos.