Emerald

@Ayla @Ludwig - My newest blog about my experience meeting Teal Swan at her most recent synchronization workshops in Orlando. I saw on the other message board that you both had been positively impacted by her work. New Blog Post: http://www.thediamondnet.org/blog/2016/4/4/conversations-with-teal-swan-fear-and-decision-making Conversations with Teal Swan: Fear and Decision Making So, over the weekend, I went to one of Teal Swan’s synchronization workshops in Orlando. It was my first time going to see her and it was a really awesome experience. If you get the chance, I highly recommend it. Teal Swan and I after the Orlando Synchronization Workshop. In the past, I’ve had a bit of a resistance to New Age spirituality or anything too much on the metaphysical side. So, when I first saw her videos about two years ago, I had a strong attraction/aversion reaction. But I pushed through it and continued watching her videos (albeit with the lights out and the blinds shut. J/K), which mostly offer psychological and spiritual help through the metaphysical lens. It was SOOO helpful for me, that I truly credit her work for helping me get through one of toughest times in my life. I probably wouldn’t even be in a place to be bettering myself and making blogs and videos without the clarity that her videos have given me. She really helped me pick myself out of some deep psychological traps that I had been caught up in for years, due to a lack of deep understanding. Despite this, to say that I don’t still have a lot of fear relative to New Age spirituality would be untrue. So, if I look at that under a microscope, what do I find? Am I actually averse to New Age spirituality itself… No. I’m afraid of the social stigma associated with being seen as ‘Woo Woo’ or gullible. The truth of the matter is that I really love the idea that there is more to this reality than what it appears at face value. I’ve always, since childhood, had an attraction to anything magical. It is only my social persona that I’m watching out for. I also have Out of Body Experiences, that I try to stay open minded and closed mouthed about in daily life. So, when I met with Teal Swan in person after the workshop, I asked her a question about an Out of Body Experience that I had had with her in it about two months prior that I wrote about in an earlier blog. (It's my blog from January 18th if you want to check it out.) I asked her if it was really her that I was seeing or simply a thought projection that I internally projected upon my experience. She said that it was indeed her, and that we had met Out of Body about 25 times prior over the course of the past two years. She said that I had come here for a similar purpose to why she came here: to be a spiritual teacher. So, I felt intensely happy to be validated in that way, but then immediately deflated because I didn’t want to feel gullible and I certainly didn’t want other people to think that of ME. It’s all ego. My egoic fear sapped me of my joy once again. It’s a huge problem. I like to pay a lot of lip service to being radically open minded, but I have a lot of issues with this when it comes to my reputation. I like to be able to think that I can hold space for contradictory opinions or different viewpoints on reality without clinging to beliefs in either direction. My policy is to neither believe nor disbelieve something, if I don’t have a firsthand experience of it in the present moment. But my ego gets in the way of this, and always wants me to fit and acquiesce to the social situation at hand, nullifying my unique perspective and connection to my wisdom. It’s hard to shake free of this tendency to try to sell myself to others. So, the next day, I went to one of the local parks in Orlando to meet up with the volunteers who worked at the event as well as a few other attendees at the workshop. I was pleasantly surprised to see Teal there too. And I spent about two hours with her and about 15 other people... (and got a pretty gnarly sunburn on my arms). Everyone there was really nice and open minded. Normally, I feel that I have to keep myself to myself to fit in, but there was no such issue here. But then a conversation came up where I was the odd man out: vaccines. I got both of my kids vaccinated. But it didn’t feel good given my older sister’s allergic reaction to the Pertussis in the DTP shot back in 1974. She had petite mal seizures which left her with many developmental delays. In many ways she has the personality and interests of an 8 year old and she has to live with my mother to this day. So, I did a lot of research on vaccines from the establishment and from those against the establishment. Both explanations made sense to me logically and rationally. Ultimately, I decided that not getting them vaccinated would feel even worse to me. I’d rather my children risk being mentally challenged than risk them being sick with a fatal disease. My sister is at least happy. If I could have chosen to both vaccinate and not vaccinate at the same time, I would have. But of course, this isn’t possible. A decision had to be made. So, I decided to do all the vaccines except the Pertussis. This always to me felt like a game of Russian Roulette during that time. Both options felt like a huge risk, with my kids’ futures at stake. Plus, some of the nurses at the Health Department and at my regular doctor's office got super judgmental and invalidating, which was very painful to me. They were denying that my sisters seizures were caused by the vaccines, which is just untrue. They happened directly after the vaccines and it even says on the American Academy of Pediatrics website that this is a rare but possible side effect. But I digress... Now, Teal Swan is a huge opponent of vaccines, and I was fangirling out so I wanted her to like me. I didn’t want to make a bad impression. So, I was tempted to do the same type of social survival that I would normally engage in with the more mainstream social group. I was tempted to keep myself to myself. But given Teal’s ideology on authenticity I decided to be honest, and ask a question to Teal that had been on my mind before many times in the past and to use the vaccine topic as an example and springboard for that. I told her that I decided to vaccinate, but wanted to know how to discern between two binary options when both sides seem wrong to you emotionally but both sides seem right to you rationally. I would either have to exercise faith in the medical establishment or exercise faith in the anti-establishment. Neither of which do I have much faith in… I’m a bit of an iconoclast in that way. Both would certainly be biased by their own ideologies. So, it’s always going to be basing a decision on second-hand information. She recommended to me relative to vaccines to get the vaccines myself prior to giving my kids the vaccines, so that I could experience my personal physiological reactions to them. Then make my decision from there. I found this to be sound advice, although my kids have already gotten almost all of their vaccines that they will ever have to get. I don’t plan on having any more kids, but if I do, I’ll definitely consider this as an option. But later she gave me the answer to let go of fear relative to the issue, whether it be vaccines or any other issues where I’m caught between a rock and a hard place. Essentially, both options for me involved huge amounts of fear… especially with my sister’s reaction. So, I think that for me, this has been a major issue throughout the course of my life. Fear is always in the background for me, subtly lurking there and blocking me off from my innate wisdom. It is the only thing that keeps me back from happiness, joy, love, and all the other positive emotions. It is the thing that makes me deny what is most natural to me and what really feels authentic to me. It’s like all the best food and drink is ruined by a subtle nasty after-taste that won’t go away. The only time I ever got clarity was during my two ego-transcendence experiences where there was no separate me to actually protect. So, there was no fear and wisdom naturally came to me. There was no such thing as an unwise decision. I would imagine that I’d know which option truly felt right to me, if I could just get that clarity and drop away my fear. I’m sure that I would embrace whatever was of interest to me too, and I would never worry about what others would think because there really isn’t any value in that in the first place.

Thanks! Your words are very encouraging to me. I do fall off the wagon a lot, but I'm pretty tenacious when it comes to getting back on track. I'm hoping that over time, I can train myself to stay on top of things without getting off course as often.

I haven't read "The One Thing" but I happened across some videos. Here are a few of them:

These are habits that have a ripple effect through other areas of life. For example, if you focus on creating good habits for the three physiological fundamentals (nutrition, exercise, and sleep) it will positively effect the rest of your habits throughout the day. I have been having increased productivity ever sine I started my 66 day challenge, even though I fell of the wagon this weekend.

How can something infinite be truly all-knowing when it has never experienced the finite? But this is just a rationalization. Take it with a grain of salt.

I got knocked off track with my trip to Orlando this weekend. I got a lot out of this weekend, and it was a ton of fun but I have to start my Keystone Habits 66 day challenge over again, if I want to really solidify the habits. So, I'm back at day 1 starting tomorrow. Keystone Habits- Wake up at 6 am Keep a Food Journal with calories and weight included Exercise 15 minutes or more each day (Also, at least 1 minute of meditation daily... but with a goal of 30 or more minutes)

I got to spend a little time with Teal Swan when I went to the workshop this past weekend. It was a lot a fun, and I'm happy with the experience. I'm the one in purple in the bottom picture.

Nice.

I love the Mario analogy. If you don't mind my asking is the 94 in your name referring to your birth year? If so, I'm even more thoroughly impressed by the wisdom and maturity of your perspective. But even if you're older than that, I'm still impressed.

I've been at a Teal Swan synchronization workshop this past weekend, so I will resume doing my journal tonight. In the meantime, Leo cleared me to post my videos on here as long as it's relevant. So, I will give you one of mine from last week. Let me know what you think.

I think that it's a good idea to recognize that a person may be in a different place. I know that I've given too much of a spiritual advice when a person needed a more practical solution. But I think it's a bit less hierarchical than that. Like a person needs a particular type of advice for their particular situation. So, don't give enlightenment advice to a person who needs to get out of a dysfunctional relationship. It's all about where the other person is. But I totally agree about giving a person the advice that they need, even if they will end up letting go of that advice later.

I wanted to know if anyone here has had a real-life experience of oneness, enlightenment, or the truth of no self. I had two such experiences myself (albeit artificially induced) and I'd love to hear about your experiences.

That sounds a lot like what I had experienced. Funny enough, I didn't call it enlightenment before I watched Leo's videos either. I just called it a lack of psychological problems. So, before I found Leo's videos, I was just trying to forcefully get rid of my neuroses and complexes to "get back" to that state. It was the exact opposite of unconditional love and acceptance.

I definitely will.

@NoOne @Nic @SkyPanther @Harry @Pinocchio Well, an enlightened person is a person who has woken up to their true nature... that they are not the small egoic self, but the infinite awareness that is aware of all of the content of the sense perceptions and thought. So, an enlightened person lives as the phenomenon referred to as 'god' once they have debunked the illusion of ego. So, from this vantage point, it isn't too much of a stretch that prayer might work. If you consider that you are a direct manifestation of god itself and the your awareness is god's awareness, then "you" (the higher self) might also have the creative capacities of god and are the creator of your subjective reality. That is, as long as your desires come from the higher self, beyond the ego's small wants. Because you are the container for all of your subjective existence, it isn't so outlandish to consider the possibility that your preferences and prayers have an impact on the reality that you're experiencing. So, it's important to put out the right prayers. But, even if everything I just said is bullshit, praying will never hurt you. So, you totally should. I tend to pray for personal qualities: like clarity, the ability to love, and the courage to face fears. I also pray for all the suffering people in hopes that they don't suffer any longer. I pray for what's most likely to be in line with the higher self which is concerned with love first and foremost.

I'm going to one this Saturday in Orlando.

I'm going to one of her synchronization workshops this Saturday. Has anyone else been to one?

Thank you. I've never been involved in Toastmasters or anything like that, although I hear it's great. Honestly, the reason why I can speak conversationally in front of the camera is because I have a (nearly compulsive) habit of talking to myself. I've always had a lot of ideas that I didn't have anyone to talk about them with, so as a child I developed a habit of pacing/thinking/talking to myself. It's embarrassing when someone walks in and catches me doing it. But it helps for getting into the zone when I'm making my videos. But I still get nervous, so I sometimes have to re-record. And I'm working on improving filler words. But here is a Ted Talk about public speaking that I found helpful:

I fall into this trap from time to time, where I start thinking self-congratulatory thoughts about being "more conscious" or knowing something that others don't. It's funny because it's a very unconscious thing that I'm doing when these thoughts spring about. The only way to influence people is to be a positive example... but even wanting to be is ego driven because there is a distinction being made between self and other.

I realized six years ago that so much of my drive toward self-actualization was rooted deeply in struggling for significance and trying to outrun the reaper. I was using my ambitions and success drives as a crutch. This was woven in seamlessly with genuine inspiration to meet my fullest creative potential. So, the topic is how to remedy feelings of worthlessness, insignificance, etc. that lay underneath ambition and drives toward self-actualization without losing motivation toward self-actualization... or at least how to move in a more genuine direction with life even if self-actualization falls away with the neuroses.

Keystone Habits and Practical Life Update- 66 Day Challenge Yesterday's Habits Update (Day 12) Wake Up at 6 am- I woke up fifteen minutes late. But I was able to get going fairly quickly because today was a filming day. I meditated for 10 minutes and did my 15 minutes of exercise right away. Keep a Food Journal of everything I eat with calories accounted for - Check - Morning Weight= 128.8 lbs. I ate 2180 calories today. Colors: Banana (White) Orange juice (Orange) Tomato Sauce (Red) Spaghetti Squash (Yellow) Water - 32 oz- Iced Coffee - 20 oz; Orange Juice- 12 oz; Coconut Milk- 12 oz Fluid intake= 74 oz Exercize 15+ Minutes a Day - 15 minutes dance workout Other things I got done: Meditation - 10 minutes Tidied the whole house with dishes, laundry, etc Filmed two videos Edited one video (It's currently still rendering) Will post in the morning Made dinner Responded to messages on my channel Today was rocky with my food journal. I just now wrote down everything that I ate from memory. I think I got everything but I'm not 100% sure. I was in a rush for filming, so I neglected to write down breakfast, then it was easier to not write down lunch and dinner to. I should modify this habit so that I have to write the food and calories down before I actually consume it. It would be a lot more beneficial. Otherwise, I really liked the videos that I shot today. One was about what enlightenment is, and another is about how a 'self 'is created. I'm glad that I decided to reshoot. Tomorrow, I have to get prepared for the weekend. I'm super excited!!! I'm going to one of Teal Swan's synchronization workshops in Orlando. It was my splurge with tax money, so I'm staying in the "Tribe House" too and I'm sure that I'll meet a lot of interesting people there. I'm going to shoot a video next week about my experience at the workshop.

Also, if you want to discuss it, I'm game for that too.

I've read it and it's wonderful. I did a video review of it. If you're interested, here is the link:

Thank you.