Emerald

It would be very incorrect to think that human beings aren't still wired in this way. We're mostly not conscious of it, so it feels the way that you describe it. But it's still the thing that drives us to have sex, even if we don't consciously want a baby. So, it's important not to negate the effects of the lower nature's programming on our mating behaviors. Of course, few people think of this when in the process of courtship. It doesn't feel like this would be the thing driving us forward because the higher nature has lots of ideas and ideals that frame and obscure the urges and impulses of the lower nature. We're still animals, at the end of the day. Knowing this will help you understand so much more about human sexual behavior without feeling slighted by the natural differences that occur between members of each sex. But I would caution you also to be aware of your feelings and prejudices relative to women. I can tell you have some anger. If your opinions are negative about an entire gender, it's usually because of personal repression and projection onto the perceived other. I recommend looking into Anima possession. I have a video on it, if you're interested. If you want to let go of your anger, seek to understand and not to judge.

I don't recommend doing this, as it's really uncomfortable to be on the receiving end of a pick-up attempt and having to reject someone. And if she were honest she would just have to say "I don't find you attractive," which sounds like an insult even if none is intended. It makes a woman feel like the man is in a low place and that by telling him her true feelings it would put him in an even lower place. So, please don't do this. But I think a deeper issue is that you're confusing male attraction mechanics with female attraction mechanics. A man (biologically reptilian brain-wise) is wired to "spread the seed" to as many reasonably attractive women as he can. So, from the purely biological perspective, his screening process is based on a few, relatively quantifiable factors that relate mostly back to physical attractiveness. Does she hold up as the potential incubator for human life to come into being? And the standards are not too high, because he can afford a few weak offspring due to the breadth with which he can spread his genes. A man can have thousands of children in his lifetime. It sounds harsh, but he can afford a few duds. Better to mate with someone under his standards and risk having a dud, then to not mate at all. So, in the initial stages of attraction, male attraction can be boiled down to a checklist of a few factors largely based on appearance. And a man knows exactly why any given women doesn't make the cut. But chances are, quite a large number of women will make the cut. From my experience, men are not super picky. Female attraction (from the biological reptilian-brain level) is very different. She can have one child per year and her body, mind, and emotions are taxed in a major way while she's growing and carrying the child. Also, once the baby is born, the woman (in most cases throughout human history) takes on the brunt of the child-rearing for nearly two decades. So, she (from the purely biological level) is not wired to be as liberal with her choices in men, as men are with their choices in women. She CANNOT afford any dud children. She has much fewer chances to pass on her genes, so that man has to be super duper awesome and compatible. There is not a simple checklist of a few quantifiable qualities, that determine whether or not she's attracted. Female attraction, from my experience, comes up intuitively and has no cause. It's just chemistry... either it happens or it doesn't. Now, there are deal breakers. If I have great chemistry with a guy and he does a deal-breaker, this will change my feelings for him and make the chemical reaction inert. But there are not deal-makers. It's either there or it isn't there. Of course, the base biological level isn't all there is. Men and women are a lot more similar than different once deeper feelings come into play. But, with some exceptions, we're totally different with our initial attraction styles. So, don't take it personally, and don't put a woman in that position. It can feel very uncomfortable and intimidating to be approached in the first place, then to have to explain why is just all kinds of awkward. This is coming from a woman with social anxiety who hates hurting people's feelings. It's like going by a kiosk at the mall and they're trying to sell you something. And you say you're not interested, and then they ask you why not. Just remember that she isn't emotionally wired the same way as you are in this manner. Her rejection doesn't mean that she finds you ugly or stupid or annoying or any other negative trait. It's not your fault that she didn't find you attractive and there's nothing you can do about it. It just means that the chemistry wasn't there, for no other reason than that it wasn't. You can't improve yourself into a woman's heart. That's why the friend zone is permanent. It's when a woman, instead of just saying "I don't find you attractive", sugar-coats it and just says "I'd rather be friends" which sounds nicer and avoids the harsher sounding truth.

If we decide to leave, I'll be sure to post about it on here. And I'll mention you in the thread. But there's another post I made in this thread where I talk about the things that have to happen before we decide to leave (i.e. nuclear war threats, Trump gathering a civilian army, internment of Muslims/immigrants/etc., Violence in public spaces as the norm, etc.). We'd rather stick around if we can, so we'll only leave if it's really serious.

It's definitely a concern of mine. My husband and I have a Plan B for our family if particular things happen, that I mention earlier on in the thread. We live in Florida. Plan A is to live life like normal. But if things take a critical turn, we know to go sooner rather than later.

I'm not sure if you read my earlier comment. But I went to a New-Agey workshop back in April 2016, when the primaries were still going on. I think Trump might not even have had the Republican nomination yet. But I was definitely still rooting for Bernie, as were many others who attended. So, the spiritual teacher there, who is known for psychic abilities told me and a group of about 20 other people all the stuff that I wrote above. I don't know if these things will actually come to pass. But so far, it all sounds eerily plausible. And several things have already come to fruition.

It was all said in a general conversation, so I don't recall an exact timeline. They had mentioned that Trump was set to win the election, because he would crash the system quicker and that we all opted into this from the perspective of the higher self. They said Trump would get in there and begin making drastic changes immediately, and that he would crash the system causing WWIII and economic collapse. They said Russia and China (and maybe North Korea - if memory serves) would get involved. And that Vladimir Putin would be involved. They said a bit about Putin that I don't recall. But I do recall that they called him a sociopath, making him incredibly dangerous as he's able to make moves that are against humanity without feeling remorse. Then they said that just about the only place in the world that wouldn't be experiencing the war and devastation would be in Central and South America. Which they lamented because they don't really like those areas that much. They also said that the history books would remember this war as being unofficially started in 2001 as a result of 9/11 and George W. Bush's presidency, and would just come to a boiling point under the Trump presidency as a result of having Trump in office. They said that it was best to make plans to leave ASAP and not to give it more than 3 or 4 months into Trump's presidency, because these things would happen in fairly short order once Trump takes office. That's all I can recall. I do wish I would have paid more attention to when they were talking about China and Russia though.

Haha I'm glad the video was helpful. It can be difficult to spot the underlying causes. But I can clearly see now, in retrospect, how my life circumstances were setting me up for obsessions to occur.

I've had two intense romantic obsessions in my life, and both had deeper causes than I was aware of while in the midst of them. I share my personal insights on obsession in this video. I hope that it is helpful.

I'm glad that you dodged that bullet. My husband, who is Hungarian, was in his early teens when it collapsed. He said things were tough for a lot of older people who were used to Communism. But the situation in Hungary after the collapse pales in comparison to what was happening in Russia, due to the fact that the Hungarian government mellowed out quite a bit in the 70s and 80s. Long story short, I'm glad that you didn't end up in a child gang or some other crazy stuff like that.

I don't see how this relates to what I said. Can you clarify?

Well, I think it depends on what you feel when you listen to it. So, if it makes you feel empowered then it is positive. However, you want to be sure not to mix the empowered feeling with the negative meanings in the song. So, if you feel empowered by the music but the lyrics say "do cocaine!", then be sure to separate out the idea "do cocaine" from the feeling of empowerment. I was always a big fan of progressive rock, grunge, and other hard rock genres. It made me feel on top of the world, which was important to me as someone who had always been walked on it life. So, I found a healthy outlet for my anger, an anti-dote to powerlessness, and an expression for my darkness and strangeness in these genres. However, some negativity did come along with these musical tastes due to the fact that I had a very strong ego and I romanticized certain negative things or convinced myself that I liked things that I didn't because of my identity that was very much shaped by my musical tastes. So, I don't think there's anything inherently negative with enjoying metal and it's important to be honest and not resist what you truly enjoy. However, just be sure that it doesn't feed into an unhealthy ego- identity, and that you can separate out the wheat from the chaff.

I'm sure evangelical religious people feel the same way. But on the receiving end of evangelizing, people feel uncomfortable with people trying to convert them over to a new way of thinking. It's best to give up on it and lead by example. Those that are suited for it, will mostly silently appreciate your example. But it's best to let go of the desire to introduce the lifestyle to close friends and family.

Hopefully this helps your understanding. My top four roles are: - the socially awkward - the intellectual - the good person - the lady (contradicts the first one, but I still have it) Here are the reasons why: - The socially awkward: I adopted the first one at a young age, due to not fitting in in school and out of fear of being perceived as mentally challenged. My older sister is mentally challenged, and I used to freak myself out with ideas like "What if I'm so mentally challenged that I don't know it, and everyone is just being nice to me and lying to me and telling me I'm normal." If this were true, I knew I was in for a life of patronization and sugar-coated ostracism. It's silly that I'm still so messed up over this one, but I still have some degree of this role playing out in my adult personality. I have to always police my behavior because I'm afraid of being perceived as off in some way or even creepy. So, my mask is the trying to seem normal to avoid being seen as awkward but coming off as awkward anyway as a self-fulfilling prophecy. This one is frustrating. - The intellectual: This role was adopted in response to the previous fear. And my mom was very happy to have a non-mentally challenged child, that she really made me believe that I was the most intelligent child on the planet. And I was lavished with praise by her for being intelligent. I realized later that this was not so, and that my intelligence is still within the norm range, but that I could still have this identity if I worked hard for it and valued it. I eventually came to associate being intellectual with being mysterious and sexy. I have always had a strong desire to be accepted and liked and admired so this mask is in place to make me seem more interesting and alluring. Plus, I've always liked the idea of adding value to myself through intellectual pursuits. - The good person: I learned at a very young age that misbehavior of any kind was punishable in emotionally extreme ways. My mom withdrew presence and love at the onset of any and all misbehavior for longer periods of time than a small child can handle. Also, even though I wasn't raised in a religious way, I was still instilled with the belief that God was always watching for misdeeds. And that people who do bad things go to hell and get tortured forever. This really informed my worldview, and I used to judge people in terms of who was going to hell and who was going to heaven. Every time I went into a cemetery, I would look at the tombstones. The graves with tombstones that stand upright were people going to heaven, and the graves that were buried close to the ground were going to hell. So, it was always a struggle between life and death to be good. I have no recollection of what it is like to be anything other than a good person. So, I have a lot of repression of my more destructive drives. I also have a lot of sexual repression as I was taught that sexuality was even more taboo than violence. - The lady: I adopted this role later on, but it serves a similar purpose to my other identities. It exists in order that I might be admired by others and seen as good and interesting and mysterious. Early in my adult years, I came up with the idea that I was only attracted to older men, specifically straight-laced mature gentlemen. So, in order that I might get the type of attention that I wanted from this demographic, I adopted the mask of the mature young lady who has refined tastes and is sophisticated. But there is also an erotic connotation to this identity. Despite (and perhaps because of) my sexual repression caused from the above identification of being a good person, this is a really strong identification that I have. I have never felt truly satisfied with my sex life (for psychological reasons largely based in my childhood), so this mask feels like I will find sexual satisfaction through it. Unfortunately, this doesn't work because it always puts my sexuality in third person. Like I will become sexually satisfied through satisfying my parter. But this never really gets at the heart of what I truly like, and makes my amatory life very formulaic and contrived, as I experience it as an idea set in the third person but never fully in the first person. Also, the awkwardness that I have comes in direct opposition to my desire to be a mysterious proper young lady. These two go together like oil and water.

Well said. I think there's a lot of spiritual bypassing in circles of people seeking enlightenment due to a misunderstanding of the truth of no self or the illusion of Maia. So, people set aside real world concerns and political concerns because they assume they are not relevant because 'it's all Maia anyway', and they neglect the awareness of the broader context in which their lives occur or seem to occur. But this sort of higher spiritual wisdom is not really applicable or effective in these scenarios and just acts as a shield from reality. Just another ego defense to guard from the unpleasantries of mundane human life. The reality of the matter is that we have to remain vigilant and informed, and focus on practical solutions to potential abuses in political power (and all the potential scenarios that stem off of these abuses) that may be coming down the pipe for us. Sometimes practical wisdom is far more applicable than higher wisdom. Also, relative to what you wrote more recently regarding the specific role of Spiral Dynamics, I've had similar thoughts. I think that the collective works a lot like the individual human mind. Right now one of our collective Shadows is rising up into conscious awareness in the form of divisiveness, racism, and xenophobia. It's a difficult thing to come to terms with, and is nasty like turning over a rotting log. But now that we're aware we can actually address these issues, and hopefully get past them in a much deeper way than we ever have. I hope that it will bring us closer to the next phase of human evolution. Spiral Dynamics gives me a bit of hope for this. But I anticipate that it will be very difficult and bloody in the mean time as so many people are going to be caught completely off-guard, due to buying into the unsinkable ship fallacy.

I'm right there with you. I think people are assuming that America is an unsinkable ship, and that people who are cautious (like you and I) are just conspiracy theorists with tin foil helmets. They fail to recognize that this type of thing has a ton of historical precedence. It happens all the time with humanity. As far as humanity goes, longer-standing empires have fallen and democracies have (on occasion) given way to dictatorship. This is definitely a different sort of situation with Trump and he's displaying an alarming number of Fascist tendencies, so it's wiser to make preparations and be made fun of for "over-exaggeration" than to be caught unprepared in a major upheaval with no reserves or plan B. Now, if nothing happens, it's cool to live life like normal. But it's important to know the warning signs and to get out while the getting is good. Just ask the people who opted not to go to the lifeboats on the Titanic... Oh wait... you can't.

Maybe, but I'm not too sure. There are many rationales for existence (which is already suspect) that postulate that God creates finite human existence to be able to know the experience of living with ego. But this is just a conjecture that I only loosely entertain. Haha. My bad.

I don't think this would work exactly. I believe there is a very strong environmental conditioning aspect to becoming unenlightened. But I would almost say that a large part of this is simply instinctual and practical. For example, if someone didn't refer to a baby by name under the rationale of not strengthening ego-identification, this would no be very effective and would likely create a sense of "why do I not have a name" in the baby as they grow. I don't think it would be too healthy.

Well, the human being aspect of God is seemingly traumatized. Of course, there is never actual trauma to God. But it's experienced as human trauma. Perhaps this is what the Bible meant when they referred to humans having "original sin."

Oh, for sure. Don't try to get a child to the point of enlightenment. That would be disastrous. I thought you were asking for insight into childhood trauma for yourself. If it pertains to raising a child with minimal trauma, then consistency, stability, and building a positive self-image is key. You can do this by giving kids age-appropriate responsibilities to give them a sense of self-efficacy and personal control. Have a strong family bond, where they know that their family situation isn't going to shift around on them. No bad habits in the home: no smoking, drinking, drugs, etc. Get them involved in their community. And above all, prioritize their psychological health and well-being over all other concerns (beyond physical needs, of course).

Here's how I understand it. Imagine that there you are infinite... but do so in a way where you can imagine it visually. You are a huge cheese wheel and this cheese wheel is infinite and it is what you are. Then, you experience human life you come to the conclusion as a baby that you are not the cheese wheel but just a small crumb of cheese within the cheese wheel. You are specifically this very small part of the infinite cheese wheel and nothing else. This is you as a baby. Then, as you go through your baby-hood and childhood you sustain traumas, where you begin to identify with less and less and less of that crumb of cheese, as these parts are difficult to identify with due to emotional pain. So, as an adult, you end up 1/5 the size of the crumb of cheese that you were as an infant. Maybe some people sustain more trauma, and end up 1/10 the size of the crumb of cheese. Maybe some people end up with less trauma and end up being up to 1/2 the size of the crumb of cheese they were when they became a baby. So, you can try (with difficulty) to reintegrate and get that crumb of cheese back to 100% of what it was when you were born, through Shadow Work and other such techniques. And this will greatly increase your quality of life. But never forget that the most dramatic trauma and most dramatic repression happened when you disidentified yourself with the infinite and said "I am a finite being who ends at the barrier of my skin who will perish one day and be forgotten." This is the biggest repression and misunderstanding that creates the most profound and ongoing subtle suffering.

Our plan is to do an emergency vacation for a couple months to Costa Rica (not sure which city) since they don't require a tourist visa from U.S. or Hungarian citizens (my hubby is Hungarian). Then, we will make other relocation plans from there, while we're on vacation. The spiritual teacher I spoke to has already moved there, so I figured it's probably a safe spot to go for a little while to make further plans. I was also looking into Chile, but I'm not sure about it because it's located near a major fault line.

I have a story to tell relative to Trump and getting out of Dodge. I got to spend some time with a fairly famous spiritual teacher earlier this year who is known for having psychic abilities. I was in a small group of about twenty and people were asking the teacher questions. One lady, who (like myself) was a major Bernie Sanders supporter, asked the teacher if Bernie Sanders would become president. They said no and that Donald Trump was set to win the election because ("from the perspective of the non-physical") he would make the system collapse quicker to bring us closer to a new era with a better system. They said that Donald Trump would be involved with Vladimir Putin and that they would start a war with China (and maybe North Korea- if memory serves) , and this would become WW3, although it would end up in history books being credited to George W. Bush and be seen as a continuation of the military conflicts that he started after September 11th. They said it would be a time of great suffering for most people on the planet, and that the only safe place to go would be Central and South America. So, when I heard this, I was still in denial. I really wanted Bernie to win the primary and eventually the presidency. So, I was bummed about that and not really taking the prediction seriously. Though, as things have unfolded, it's like literally going down a check-list. Everything has been true so far and I see how the other predictions could easily come to fruition. So, I have my sights set on a few countries in Central America or Northern South America, as my go-to for if things go south. Also, I plan to invest my tax refund into gold and the Yuan (which doesn't have the dollar as its reserve). I plan to stock up on plenty of non-perishables too, when I get my tax refund also. But, I'm still planning for if things don't go downhill as well. If things are fine, my family and I will stay and life will go on like normal. But if these things happen, we will leave immediately: 1. Trump threatens nuclear war with any country 2. North Korea does anything with nuclear weapons toward another country or America (not Trump related but still...) 3. Trump gets the power to start gathering small militias in order to "fight terrorism" because of (fill in the blank) future terror attack. 4. Any sign that something like the Japanese Internment is happening or about to happen (the laws are still on the books that allow this) 5. Trump's rhetoric normalizes violence and discrimination to a point where it's visibly noticeable in public places. (i.e. You go to Walmart and it's a given that you're going to experience this once or twice)

I was literally just thinking about this a few minutes ago. I think this is a likely probability for the future as well.

It's pretty interesting the studies they've done on split-brain patients. There were some instances where someone's left hand would be doing an action that the person wouldn't be rationally aware of, like unbuttoning their own shirt.

Well, the attraction would still likely be there. But you wouldn't be able to lie to yourself about not wanting to be in the situation. I was in a relationship with this guy, Jeff, for four years. I was with him from age 16 to age 20. I had this idea in my mind that I wanted to marry him, have kids with him, stay together for life, and that I loved him more than anything. But life with him was difficult. He was manipulative and had anger issues and smoked weed all the time. He was always getting arrested and I was constantly stressed out. But the degree to which I was capable of convincing myself that I was happier with him than I had ever been, was profound. I wasn't able to see how much he took advantage of my loyalty to him. I couldn't bare the thought of letting him go. Then I tried an entheogen, which catalyzed my first experience of ego transcendence. I was musing about how beautiful everything was, and he came up and held me and told me he loved me. I sensed a disingenuous air to his "I love you" that was suddenly super clear to me and I realized that my response of "I love you" was just as disingenuous. And I realized in that moment that I had been sacrificing all of my happiness for the relationship and that I was lying to myself and enslaving myself to the idea of 'forever.' I was just afraid of breaking up. I didn't want to be near him. There was a part of me that hated him. I never knew any of this before. It took an enlightenment experience, to see through my own bullshit. So, you might (or might not) still be attracted, but you won't be able to bullshit yourself into staying in a bad situation.