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The self must die in order to clear a path for a new life, they call it ego death the ego never truly dies I don't think? This is a moment of fear that will soon be forgotten. We do not panic with every exhale because we know the breath will soon be coming in to give use life. This is a moment of panic the first exhale, the not knowing if the breath will come in. No worries it will come

That is fantastic. One thought. When I in the past have tried to understand various cravings or addictions I would keep the thing stimulating the adiction and immerse myself into the moment of craving. Almost to have it right there and stop..... Look at the sensation..... Try to increase desire for it. Enjoy that moment of need. I did this. I don't know the reason for it. I wanted to share because your plan reminded me.

Too overcome depression anxiety and low self esteem takes a lot of self reflection. When you say energy work I imagine something that takes little attention and a lot of superstition. Not that energy work doesn't exist. But for someone learning about it they often live in a world where things are easy in energy work. This is not the case. Energy work isn't something you learn. It is something that happens when you learn to be self aware. Awareness is what will solve all three of these problems.

You have no problem except your mind. You are right where you need to be to evolve to the next level. Awareness of something can be painful, but it will make you grow. Emotionally, spiritually, and physically. The problem you present is as if you are driving from NYC to Florida and you stop your car and say "this road in Pennsylvania is difficult to drive. It causes my car damage. This is the path. You are learning. You are right where you should be. Whenever overloaded like this, pause. Meditate on your new sensations. Reflect. Ponder. Play. Enjoy. This pain is only your perception of reality. Change the perception, the reality changes. This is what you are here to do right?

What a great post Thank you!!

Becoming more aware is like taking a 1981 computer and trying to run windows 10 on it. Computers are hardware so they crash due to system over load. But with us, were different. Our biology responds and creates new pathways. Its exhausting very exhausting. Just like all other things in life that involve growth are exhausting. This is more exhausting though because nobody really does this, so there is no feeling like its normal or catching up to the group. You are on your own and you desire this new shift in consciousness. You will have to keep pushing to make it happen. You will become less and less exhausted over time. Take breaks if it is too much. This is not a race. Its a ride Enjoy the scenery too.

I am sorry you have an attraction towards unhealthy relationships. I was just like this 10 years ago. You are right to leave. Things will never get better. Once manipulation comes into a relationship a power struggle starts and is like cancer. You can never get rid of it. Both of you will always trigger past behaviors out of spite. Hurt emotions take a very long time to heal. It is best to move on. Work on yourself. Understand why you were attracted to this man. Thank him for waking you up. Because lets face it. This relationship was so shitty for you that you were forced to wake up or give up. I know because I was in that same situation. The only way I was able to forgive was to view things from this perspective. His name was Preston. He was an idiot. Same BS manipulative, evil SOB. But I was blessed with him because though it sucked. I learned, I kept my eyes open through the pain and I learned. Walking away from this situation, hateful without this lesson is you walking away from a priceless treasure. Just so you know through that terrible relationship because I did so much self reflection I was able to know for a FACT who was right for me. I passed up a good 20 potential relationships after that. I was single 6 years. Then I found a guy that made me pause and after some self reflection and watching him I knew. Use this person to get what you truly want. Because look how it turned out. That isnt who you are, that isnt what you want. You know it.

Loving oneself is not easy from what I have seen/experienced. No shame in this question. The way I remember to love myself is I remember how much time and effort went into creating my experience. All of the work everyone before me did just so I could exist. Then I look at all of the wonderful things I have done for others so they can exist. I also sometimes just sit and feel the love that is in every moment in existence. Love is all around us. It cannot penetrate our ego though. If the ego is in control the love will not be felt, even the slightest bit of ego will drown out the quiet whisper of love. If the mind is in the past or present the ego is at work. If the mind/ego is in the present the mind/ego vanishes and there is only love.

Do silly things to break the seriousness. I do this all the time. I can be very serious Just remember we all will die one day. The only thing we can take from this place is our joy. Look back to your past, what do you love most? For me it is the times when I was fully immersed in the present moment. Enjoying a good laugh or feeling embarrassed, I laugh now and then I was so serious. I love the joy. That is how I remember the importance of not being so serious. Sometimes when I need extra encouragement I look at old men who are so serious they cant even smile. I don't want to be in that situation when I am old. I want to feel I tasted life and loved it.

Why you swim is all that matters. If it is internal motivation it doesn't matter if you compete. If you are doing it to please others it may hinder your ability to remain centered/aware.

@Truth Seekah Thank you for those videos. I enjoyed them

You all are complaining a lot. This website is a gift that nobody is entitled to. Appreciate what you have and remain in the present. Worried about your lost soul? Go buy "the book of secrets" by Osho. It is one of many books I have read, but in the end it was all I needed and unless you are one in a billion it is all you will need. Now you all are saved from the darkness. Just remember it is your legs that must carry you out of this misery. No amount of information is going to satisfy your mind. Go do.

I posted a video about consciousness and the brain. This video talks about the physical properties of the brain and how it relates to consciousness. It doesnt make the connections to spirituality much but if you really think about the concepts, understand them, and do a little extra reading you will see the connections. You should also research the heart math institute. They are doing scientific research on heart and brain coherence which is basically a scientific study of kundalini. They are paving the way for science and spirituality to finally meet. They have videos on youtube you can watch. I cant stress enough the importance of everyone being aware of their research, I was extremely excited when I found their stuff.

I read somewhere that something like 80% of sleeping issues comes from the person feeling too hot. I know this is my problem. I have a huge bottle of water I sleep with wrapped up in a towel and its my cold spot. I sleep like a baby now Sometimes when trying to reset my sleeping habits working out and forcing myself up at an ungodly hour helps too.

@kieranperez It depends on how you feel. You know what is best if you can't feel the intuition at this time, then yes I would say take a small break. But don't be gone from your goals too much. I would meditate to seek answers within with that particular method. Then I would wait for my inner self to desire the information again. Sometimes when we don't hear our inner intuition we become stuck and cannot move forward until we service our selves with awareness. To me it sounds like you need to listen to yourself and you will know when to start studying again. It could be a few days, it could be a month. Only you know. When you do start studying again, take it slow. Absorb the content, let it become a part of your being, not just your mind. For example, I have a 1200 page book I have read over the period of 10 years only 1.5 times, not because I am lazy. But because I want to make sure I absorb everything fully and spiritually. I take one paragraph and think about it for weeks. I meditate on it. I fall in love with it. Therefore it changes me deep within. It has become me. It is easy to study something when it is just the mind. It is much more difficult when it is your whole being absorbing the information. You will come out of that experience unchanged when just studying intellectually. When you study something intellectually you do not allow the content to change who you are, you think about it and say "I agree" or "I disagree". Your mind becomes changed, but who you are is always the same. Your intuition is asking you to slow down with the mind and look within. Your intuition will tell you when it is ready for more content. Next time you approach the content. Do the actions you read about. Let the experience change who you are. Then you will not be so bored and full of information.

I have been in many toxic situations like this. My family is very toxic. In a situation like that you need to implement strategies as toxic people turn on you on a dime. I use methods from the 48 laws of power. Not to manipulate, but more to understand and interact without getting caught in any drama. Along side with the 48 laws I also use a "kill them with kindness" approach. When people try to gossip you will need a way out that feels comfortable. My solution to something like that would be to show kindness to the person that is being gossiped about in front of the gossiper. For me this showed the gossiper that I am not a pawn to be used in power struggles. Environments like that can be very difficult, I highly suggest you look up videos on youtube for the book "48 laws of power"

This question is too big too answer. It took me years of meditation and research to come to my own conclusion. Even if I spent a bunch of time telling you.... You would be skeptical and in the end would never come to a conclusion. Some things need to be researched and experienced in order to be known.

@kieranperez if you would like a meditation technique that will help. Every 3 minutes become aware. Ask yourself am I aware? Feel your body your breath Your heart beat your weight on your feet. Be aware of your physical body and then be aware of your emotions. If emotion is present take out a magnifying glass. Look at it like a scientist looks at a specimen. Dissect it. Without shame, fear, or judgment. This can be used for any pain. Emotional. physical. It is powerful, if you train your brain to be able to focus like this. At first you will fail. It's not serious play with this technique like a child plays with a favorite toy. Enjoy yourself. Again with no shame or fear. Adults like to shame themselves. Somehow we have learned that negative reinforcement is what works. It's not compassionate joyful play is what works If you wish to end your dependence on the drugs I would research what ones you want to end and slowly end 1 pill at a time reducing the dosage very slowly. The adderall especially can be difficult from what I have heard. Reduce the dosage as slowly as possible over a period of 6 months at least. The dependance will be strong exercise and cleansing diets should aid in recovery from side effects from lowering the doses. If you do this remember you will need self awareness as a strength. So start practicing and master being aware of your emotions especially. Over time it becomes a natural state to be aware.

Hello Leo, I am new here. I hope I haven't done any non contributing posts. I know I talked with one person who was attacking another member. I didn't argue much if at all I think? I have a question if you have time. If these negative interactions happen are we to just ignore now? I don't mind people who are just starting their path, but the mindset some people have can effect others pretty negatively. I feel like it would be good to defuse the negativity like I always have in my life, so others know this energy doesn't have to be feared etc. I understand if you don't want any kind of response as well though. One thing I might add to this is that though these negative people are a challenge, I believe the energy assists others in learning how to balance themselves. Because in the end we all know this mindset is out in the world and dealing with the energy online vs in person can be like taking baby steps almost. I am not promoting this kind of behavior though Thank you for your post.

I believe this is a natural state of our being. We have times of learning and growth and times of depression and reflection. This to me reminds me of the spring/summer time on earth and the fall/winter time on earth. I prefer to call these peaks and valleys spiritual Spring/summer/fall/winter. Depending on the place I am in. This helps me separate myself from the event and helps me to be an independent observer.

From what I have read sexual energy is the most powerful energy within our being. This is why the sex industry is so powerful. To have sex with another means you are opening your energy up to their influence. Be sure you don't mind that influence. Also be up front with her and let her know what to expect. Last thing anyone needs is some drama.

I don't think psychology will limit the progression because psychology is science. Pursuing enlightenment is a science of the spirit. I believe that some of the assumptions of psychology may be skewed or incorrect, but that is my opinion. Mainly based on the observation that psychologists often times have emotional issues they themselves can't overcome. I believe many also have serious issues with ego as well. I believe one day this field will catch up with what we are doing. Just some conflicting beliefs at this time.

You are overwhelmed. You have chosen to distract your mind with new information but it is no longer working. Your depression refuses to be ignored. Meditation is what I would do if I was you. Your intuition knows what is best that is why meditation is best. You need to listen to your inner self. They talk very quietly. As far as the medication it will be difficult to figure that out as some of those medications are highly addictive and many of them alter consciousness. I know for me I would have a very hard time pinning down my awareness with just aderol.

@krazzer Yes this definitely sounds like that. This was how I experienced it as well. The first breakthrough is very short, and after that they get larger and larger. This is your body creating the pathways for a new energy flow. The depression is just the body/emotions reacting to the powerful surge of energy, they are saying "I am tired". So the depression is meant to encourage you to rest your body and contemplate the new paradigm. Nothing to be concerned about at all I am so happy for you to have this moment though, it is amazing isn't it! Everything is so .... Crisp with that kind of heightened awareness. No drug compares to that energy haha