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About jwkspeck

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  1. I think there's a distinction between holding a position and expressing an opinion. Both are based on your beliefs, but a position is always a defensive one, whereas an opinion can be held lightly with a big helping of skepticism and radical open mindedness.
  2. If you are more mature than some standard of maturity in relation to age, you may be "wiser than your years" - but the problem is that every perspective has a different standard of maturity. To live "older than your age", do personal development. If you are taking the self-actualization path seriously and actually doing work, you are already going where you (really) want to go.
  3. I like this analogy of a hose and a bucket. You can increase your reading speed as much as you want (the size of the hose) but if you don't develop and practice your memorization and visualization skills (size of the bucket) you won't comprehend the text. For professions and tasks that require reading a lot of text, creating good chunking hierarchies and quieting your sub-vocalization can be incredibly useful for increasing efficiency. For actually learning something life changing and practical, a slower pace can be important. Pre-reading and skimming is always a good idea, but intentionally slowing down, being more mindful and contemplating while reading is essential.
  4. I do suggest you take a break from psychedelics if they are only increasing your confusion. Focus on meditation and contemplation. Remember that all of language is conceptual. It's difficult, but even your assumptions, your most deeply rooted beliefs, are conceptual. Definitely continue searching your direct conscious experience for the truth of what you are. Remain both grounded and open. This work is not supposed to be easy. Use and respect psychedelics for the incredible tools that they are, but don't forget to do the work outside of those experiences.
  5. You are the ego. You are an illusion. Perhaps you believe the ego is only a part of you - but how does that work? What are you, in your direct conscious experience? Of course your agenda is self-survival. This "I" that wants to rest is what will keep you from finding out what reality actually is. Realize that sanity and insanity are both just concepts. If you want to discover truth, you will have to have an insight into your true nature, what you really are - and understand that "normal" is just another consensus concept. Can you try to see how everything in your experience is weird, no matter how acclimated you are to your environment?
  6. @YaNanNallari But you will be less effective at 2 compared to 1.
  7. Murder being "wrong" is probably a belief stemming from the ego's desire for self-survival. Does a gazelle see a lion as evil? If you're conscious, you quite likely won't be killing people. Being okay with murder should be lumped in with being okay with everything - accepting reality as it is and as it should be, including murder, rape, genocide, so on. Having a judgement about murder, or beliefs about how we should behave is an unconscious mechanism to keep unconscious humans from being malevolent. But rules and laws are clearly not even close to being as effective as being a conscious human - they make us neurotic, and more often than not cause us to repress thoughts, desires and emotions that we will be unable to deal with when they arise. I doubt you're okay with murdering people. You don't need a law or a religion or a parent to tell you that you will create suffering for yourself by making another suffer. We're very empathetic creatures - I can understand very viscerally that what hurts me can really hurt you.
  8. It might be hard to focus on both at the same time. Remember that you create your own priorities; even if Leo convinces you to prioritize consciousness, understand that it is you that ultimately decides what to value. If you derive through contemplation and journaling that consciousness is more important that pursuing your purpose, then you have created your own meanings and values. If you blindly follow the words and directions of Leo, you really aren't being conscious of your own circumstance.
  9. They'll be getting a hell of a lot more respect in the future. Yeah. But now I can't run away from the fact that it sucks.
  10. I don't understand, either. I guess I wanted some magic pill, just didn't think it'd be so hard to swallow. I'm not sure I would have changed without it. But it's given me a fairly horrifying perspective. I reap what I sow.
  11. This is a miracle, huh? I really am a damn butt monkey. I consumed 600 mcg of 1P-LSD, previously having had done 100 and 200 on two separate occasions. I was alone, in my cesspool of solitude in my bedroom. I wanted to search for my demons, and I sure as hell got them. I did not find ego death, nor did I experience non-dual consciousness. It was something else. Worth it? Maybe. I feel enlightened - hell of a lot more motivated to change the way I live. My current belief is that I'm the consciousness of this being. Before, I thought the thought that I was the body. Was I trapped in the mind, somehow? I feel like I got a huge dose of consciousness - which was pretty tough, considering I was convinced I was conscious as I distracted myself day in, day out in this toxic situation. I was simultaneously searching and hiding from the truth. My god. I went too quickly. Clearly. I'm not sure what the expectation was - maybe an expectation of truth. Did I get truth? I uncovered a hell of a lot of fear. I wouldn't suggest others do the same. It's certainly obvious that appearances are a product of the appearances of my early experiences - TV, video games, fiction. I'm even more confused, but it's really shown me how unsustainable my circumstance is. Who says consensus reality is the reality, besides the consensus itself? I really struggle to convey the importance of this, obviously - and I don't know how to integrate this. I feel like I just woke up.
  12. I see fashion as the "majority trend" - the mainstream, materialist and consumerist past time. I'm sure some fashion can be authentically enjoyable, but I'll admit my view of the industry is largely about status and business. It's a monkey's game, in my view. In contrast, style is an "individual trend" - I have my style, you have your style. I think this can be materialistic and about status, but it can also be artistic and intuitive. Most people have their unique style quirks and idiosyncracies, and it may be important to the sense of identity that we hold, in a way. I think they can either be important or unimportant, depending on your priorities. A person's style, whether it be of writing, clothing, speech or home decor can have meaning to the individual and also give insight to outsiders into their personality, desires, etc. - whereas fashion seems so dedicated to money and materialistic relation.
  13. Well, what's the difference? Really, what distinction is there between you and a fictional character, and is it inherent or arbitrary? It's interesting how we're so indoctrinated with this personal sense of narrative, so lost in these stories about ourselves that we lose sight of the pages upon which they're written. Of course ego will dismiss this, either as crazy, stupid, evil, whatever. Why shouldn't it? If you were given the choice to jump into a dark chasm with no bottom in sight, or back away, which would you choose? Obviously, ego would doubt whether it ought to jump into the scary hole. It doesn't want to die.
  14. You will. The quality of video is just as good as his most recent YouTube video.