Valach

Then you know more secures already than I do haha. Thanks for the answer:)

@Natasha Tori Maru You probably missed the last part about me asking why do you think secures do not use dating apps since i edited it. I am not saying I don't disagree, I am just really curious about that!

That might be enjoyable and exciting for you. And painful for her.

Which part? The not being picky around sex or not wanting to commit after it?

It is hard to evaluate since i am also biased obviously. But i feel like most people are simply not self aware to admit how insecure they are. Many of my friends if i explained attachment theory to them would claim they are secure eventhough i can fully see how much insecurity they have. it is kinda bizzare. If i could snap my fingers and heal everyone over nigth, the society with its capitalistic model would probably crumble.

I honestly doubt that there are as many as 20%, more like 5%. Obviously depending on the location, but i can count on the fingers of one hand how many truly secure and healthy people have i met. btw. Why do you think insecure people use dating apps and secure dont?

Okay, I rewatched and get it now. Yeah, redpill stems out of insecutiry obviously.

I am not sure I understand how redpill is connect to attachment theory?

I used to believe that too. But I met a lot of woman who are not all that picky about sex and also just because you sleep with them does not mean they picked you and want to keep seeing you. But the general trend is there, yes.

Basically, yes. Maximazing gain, minimazing loss.

It comes from game theory, which was created long before the modern games and is a subset of applied mathematics (which is computer science basically). Yes, it popularized now because of the games but the term existed long before the modern RPGs etc.

It comes from computer science.

What are the pros for you? Compared to single life and just sleeping around?

Same here. Way too high standarts for boths looks and character. And just like you I've found because the woman that are very attractive have way too many options, it in a way corrupts them (just like very succesfull pickup guys) and makes them struggle in building healthy relationships even more.

If she is looking for a relationship, or she seems to be a sensitive person and you are just looking for sex or validation, then yes, I take it as part of my responsibility to take this into consideration. I've burned woman in the past and I have been burned myself. I don't want to participate in this anymore. There is enough suffering in the world as is.

I feel like it also is having her agenda in your mind. A lot of danger of pickup is that you learn how to overstimulate woman emotionally so they surrender to your agenda. Even if you full well know that they want different thing from you.

Yeah, that is the thing. Like I am sociable person and in a way do all these things you mention. But I just never take any photos. All the photos I have from last couple of years are just photos my gfs took of me. And I don't really like using those.

Dang. Like this a great advice, but it then it makes me feel so artificial to curate a profile in such a way.

Beautiful read man, thank you for that. Do you think the phase of sleeping around a lot had a negative impact in some ways on you being able to have functioning relationships in the future?

The post reeks of a lot of resentment. It is about you, not at all about the woman who are or are not hot.

How did you go about healing that?

Yeah, I feel like "abundance" as in dating bunch of girls is just a temporary relief from a deeper wound.

The tricky part is also being aware of why the one wants the things he/she wants.

I didn't want to talk to you specifically. Just wanted to paint the general picture of pickup community, where I see that we are all wanting this 10/10, yet we don't give a shit if our other life is 7/10. And I think that's a good thing (having non-perfect life). I feel like if we can't learn to be happy with a woman who is 7/10 or 8/10 looks wise, we have an issue on our hands. And I am struggling with the same thing!

This is exactly whom someone without much success with woman would admire. The dude does not have much game to speak of. Eventhough I dont like the term.