Valach

Hey guys, Recently started dating a new girl and realized and ongoing problem that I had even with girls I dated before and that is a strong judgment towards girls sexual history. I find it hard accepting the fact the girls I am dating participated in casual sex and partying eventhough I did the same. I even judge the girls just for having the sex in general and I have no idea where is all of this judgment coming from but I realize it's not heatlhy, because it is destroying the way I see girls I am dating and I become quite neurotic about it. Sometimes this judgment gets even very irrational. For example the girl I am dating now told me she had a friends with benefirts arrangment with one guy in the past half a year before she met me. Eventhough I slept with more girls and had same arrangments too and just had richer dating life in general, I still get triggered by it ( I don't show it to the girl ) and I still judge the girl a lot for it. Then there is a period where she was single for a year and sleeping aroud a bit and I just can't stand hearing about this eventhough as a person so far, she seems very nice for a realitionship. I have no idea where is this judgment coming from and how to get rid of it. Why do I judge girls for sleeping around if I am doing the same. Maybe it's coming from my general lack of experience? Maybe an general insecurity? I was thinking also, that it could be me regretting my past as well? I was bad at dating until age 22 and obviously feel resentful towards my past and because the girl's past expiriences remind me of lack of mine I get triggered? Anyone who experienced this and could help me out would be grealty appriated!

Excelent, thank you! Indeed. How do I work this out?

Hi there guys, Last year I started going out and learning pickup. Recently I met a girl, whom I liked so much I decided to give it a shot with her and be with her exclusivly. What I wonder now is how do I continue my progress even while holding a realitionship. Obviously I am not gonna be going out hitting on other girls (apart from occasional winging of my friends). So I was wondering what are some other principles or habits I could implement in my life that would help me develop myself and become more attractive even when not going out? Any ideas would be greatly welcome

Hello guys, Coming back again with a dating question. I have been doing pickup for couple of weeks this year already and through cold approach I started seeing one girl. We've known each other for maybe like 6 weeks and saw each other once a week ( so 6 times). Tbh, I do quite like this girl and eventhough I still want to continue doing pickup over the summer ( since I bought a RSD programm) I do have some emotions already for the girl and I am not sure how to go about it. What am I thinking also is...how do I tell the difference between beeing needy and liking the girl for who she is? Like maybe I don't actually like her, I just like the idea of not being alone and not having to do all these scary approaches anymore. But if I really like her and I ditch her for pickup I could regret that greatly. Any more experienced guys on here who could share their knowladge? Thanks in advance.

Hi there, I would like to ask guys on forum..how did you keep up your energy when doing night game? Last week I have been on 4 nightgames (tuesday, thursday, friday and saturday) and I ran into a problem of not having energy after sleeping less. Let's say I go out on tuesnday and game until 2am and have to wakeup at 8am for a work. I can at my age (24) do just fine in work with less sleep but what catches me is if I want to go nighgaming again I just don't have any energy left and I am going half asleep through the interactions ( which is bad coz you really need to pump things up in nightgame ). So my question here is, how did you guys, who did nightgame consistently keep your energy up? I don't think just drinking coffee would help me much, since it increases anxiety for me quite a bit and I have less quality sleep after that. Thanks in advance.

Welcome. Here I will have my own journal about my self-development with special focus on pickup which I will be doing with high intensity right now. I bought a RSD program, which takes 10 weeks to complete, so I will write down my experience here. I am starting with the program today. I will soon add more information and my whole pickup vision.

Hey guys, coming to this forum once again with a need for help. Recently I started dating this girl I cold approched in the park. We been on 4 dates so far. I slept with her for the first time on second date and stayed over the night. The dates after that were pretty much same meaning I would come in the afternoon, we would be at her place, hangout, talk, have sex, cook some food etc. I would sleep over and then next day leave for a work. Now I did keep some distance so we did this only once a week (I've learnt from my past). Eventhough I find the girl cool and I like her (when I come to hers we dont go straight to the sex but I am totally fine with vibing first couple of hours). But I guess I am just not really looking for a realitionship yet. I feel like I have my pickup journey still in front of me. Now my question to the guys here, how do you setup proper expectation, how do you behave ethically here. She didn't ask me the "What are we?" question yet so we didn't talk about this but I feel like it's my responsibility to clear things out. I kinda hinted on that I am freshly after breakup (which is true) but that definitly is not enough. How do I go about this? Do I wait for her to ask me or do I bring it up? Also if you want to have things more casual is it ok, if I sleep over or should I just leave right after sex? You know I can see us even hanging out and stuff, I just feel like I want to keep doing pickup and don't want to hurt the girl in the process. Also to the people who did pickup: When did you stop? When were you like "yep, now I have learned enough and I can start building realitionship or focus on other shit". Because I feel like pickup can never truly be mastered, there will be always something new to learn. There will be always better girls to date ( I have a feeling, that if I end it with this girl I can continue pickup and find better girl). Also I feel like I have huge problem actually deciding whom I like. I don't trust my intuition and I overanalyze my realitionships. How does one learn to list to my emotions more? Thank you for your answers in advance

I get what you are saying. But I don't know how to integrate this. As a good-looking person myself I can clearly see I idetify a lot with how I look and how I am percieved by others. What would be the best route to get rid of this mind-indentification?

Please do go in detail What is wrong with the books ideaology?

Hi guys, I am now thinking about one thing and would love to hear an opinion from other people. I am dating a girl currently and she has been quite open about her past sexual experiences, which I was fine with although at I started to judge her for higher number of people she slept with which is at around 30. I personnally have slept with 7 girls in my life and it bothers me a bit. I think the reason for this is also some resentfulness towards older myself where I wanted to get sex but didn't know how so now I hold it against the girl. I obviously don't tell it to the girl but it still quite triggers me when she talks about guys she fucked and I tend to loose attraction for her even. Have any of you ever have these feelings? How did you overcome them? I feel like I am much better now at seducing girls but I still have this resentment. Second part of my question is about sleeping with people who have boyfriend/girlfriend. I personally never did it ( at least knowignly). But the girl I am seeing told me that she used to sleep with some guys who had girlfriends and even wife ( and kids)... I kinda have an issue with this since it goes against my values. She told me it was "not her problem" and in a way she is right since in my experience those people would find somebody to cheat with anyway. Funnily enough, she has major trust issues and feels like most guy (including me) cheat - I think its partly in her subconscious because she enabled the cheating in the past. I just want to ask people on this forum what is your approach towards this? Would you be fine with sleeping with someone you knew has a boyfriend/girlfriend? In a way I could say I am being ethical by not doing it but then again I am sure I do plenty of things in my realtionships that are not cool anyway, like lying, manipulating etc... Also one could say that doing this is in her case maybe a part of just being younger and wild ( she is 22 now..)

Btw. How do I found out if I am against sleeping with girls with boyfriends because it's part of my value system or because I want to feel superior to others?

Hi all, I am looking for an advice regarding one of my relationship. Three months ago, I started seeing this girl I met on tinder. We started sleeping together and from the get go I though it won't develop further past fwb situation. I actually didn't want to have realtionship because I am still in a learning phase of a pickup and planned on continuing so again in summer ( when the lockdown in my country should be gone ). At the time I was seeing also 2 other girls. But after maybe like a 3 weeks I stopped seeing other girls and kept only this one. I was communicating with her right away that I am not looking for realitionship which I could sense that she was (and she even told me that she would want to date me) My mistake regarding this, since I am not the most experienced one is that I didn't handle our fwb realitinship correctly. I would see her way too often ( sometimes up to 4 times a week ) and I would do plenty of things besides sex with her ( sports, trips etc.) My wingman and mentor who is way more experienced told me that it's a realitionship without the label of it. The super wird thing regarding this girl was that when I was with her I was kinda "meh" about her, not caring at all and such. But the next day when she left, I would be thinking about her a lot and wanting to see her again, which confused me a lot. Anyway 1 month ago (2 months into seeing each other) she come over that we need to talk and told me that she can't keep going like that and she want a more then just a fwb and want's to break up with me. Although I was hurt a bit I was fine with that and we spent last day together. But the next day she was drinking with her friends and wrote me that she takes the break up back and want's to keep it as it was and I took her back since I didn't care that much. Btw. We were an exclusive fwb so we werent seeing anyone else. Weirdly enough, like 2 weeks ago I started feeling like I am catching feeling toward her. Or rather I felt like its the same dynamic as in when I am with her I don't care but when I am not a care a lot, but the feeling when i am not with her got stronger. Part of it could be that I introduced her to some of might friends recently and also I feel like she tried to make me jealous a little ( i told her i am not jealous at all ) by flirting with some of my friends or saying that some of her guys from past are hitting her up and such. At this point I don't know what I should do. I don't think this arrangment as it is is possible with me anymore. I just don't know what should I do, should I tell her I could see us dating now? Or break it off since I still want to ( or rather I feel like I have to ) do pickup, since I am still very much inexperienced and shy. Or maybe just lower down the amount of time we are spending together, that could help. Anyone experienced could help me out of this? I feel like this is draining me a lot of mental energy I should be focusing on something else.

@integral Could you elaborate? What does this have to do with life purpose?

Update: We saw each other yesterday and she admitted that for like last 2 weeks she was just pretending that she's cooled down her emotions but its still there. Today she wrote me that she loves me so I suggested that we call each other and she told me she can't continue like that and broke things off. We agreed that we will meet at least once to talk about it since I we don't want to end things over the phone, but I don't think she is gonna change her mind this time which I am fine with and think it's better for her. She told me she would like to still see each other from time to time and be friends and I would love that too but I am not sure if she can handle it, maybe few months later. Anyway @flowboy was right that I should a be a man and make decision. The girl was suffering, I knew it and did nothing. What I find hard to manage is thinking win/win in regards to girls. It's doable when you do pickup or in seduction phase. But how do I do it regarding realitionships, when my agenda goes directly against girls? That's something i need to contemplate. Anyway, thank all of you for your advice. You are wise people with great intentions

Do you think you cannot love and care about someone and still see other people?

1, I would be very open to having and open realitinship with her, where I can be seeing other girls. She is not into it. 2, I do. I can see as remaining friends even when this is over. I actually didn§t want to sleep with her in the beginning so I can keep her as a friend. Ups, here I am.

I do. Its not just about getting a woman since I am at a point where I am able to get and keep decent girls in my life. The problem is that I am still to a degree overcoming my shyness and social anxiety ( I am ok in 1on1 scenario but I have trouble being myself around more people) and I want to solve it now since its holding me back carrer wise and I am not happy with this. Maybe I was a bit harsh in my description, but she is not some super manipulative crazy. She just likes me and does these things most girls would probably do in her position. I mean she is 22, not many people are developed at that age to be aware of these things anywawy ( i am 24 ). Yeah. I was thinking about this viewpoint a lot. I though that it would be best for her if I broke things off. On the other hand, I even asked her if she is waiting for me to end it and if that is what she wants. She told me she wanted that in the past since she have fallen for me, but no she is kinda at peace with how things are. She said multiple times she doesnt love me, but I have this feeling it just might be a lie she is telling me and especially herself to not get hurt. She doesnt want to acknowledge her feelings probably. Good insight. I am feeling the same. I just feel there is bigger purpose regarding dating for me. And I know I can learn so much about woman and myself if I keep doing what I have been doing before pandemic. If I get into a realitionship with her and it lasts, I will stagnate regarding my woman skills. And it won't probably alllow me to be fully myself around her since I am still little in scarcity. Will contamplate this. Thank you for advice

Hi there, I am turning to you guys with a need for an advice as I have no idead how I want to progress in my career at the moment. When I finished high school I enrolled into university to study Computer Science. I found studies quite hard, but I am not sure if I found the subject of my studies rather boring or I was just too unfocused to really thrive in it. I do recall, that at times when I really got into it I would find quite some pleasure in it. However I didnt really succeed since I hate to drop out after 1,5 years due to bad grades. After that I started working as software developer which I have been doing for 1,5 years now. However I have to point out that the job itself is not that great, pay wise and mainly that I didnt have much thing s to lears. My first year I spent only configurating the web app in their weird frame work which didn't extend my skills what so ever. 2 monts ago I finally after my pressure got switched to another project, which is a web app build in python + django, but I find it really hard to get into since we lack any documantation and senior developers ( + covid so I cant even get to office). Since I started doing pickup last year I realized that the problem in my life is that I just that have this life energy, life passion in my life. I miss out on something to take me out of the bed in the morning. I did sign up for university again today, but I am still unsure wheter I should enroll and study again. It would give me financial possibilities (to maybe be free to pursue other things) granted I would be able to finish it, however I am just still unsure I want to really pursue this and also if I would be able to actually make it work ( combining studies + part time work ). At the age of 24 I feel like I should really realize what I want to do with my life and to have direction of where I am heading with my life as well. However I never really tried anything besides IT stuff. My mother kinda led me this path since childhood, since she is a programmer as well and I never really worked any other field ( except part time jobs in highs school at restaurants etc.). Have any of you been in this situation? How did you decide? And what do u think I should do? Thank you in advance guys :}

Hi guys, I have a deep problem I want to share with you. Throught my high school and early 20's my social life was quite bad, especially regarding the girls. Because of that I am now, at the age of 24 very inexpirience with sex. I only had 3 hookups in my life (2 of them I was quite drunk) and that's it. No relationship and staff like that. I wanted to get better with girls and social life in general so I started doing pickup at the beginning of the last summer but only did it for like 3 monts because of corona. At that time I did get couple of make outs and some dates but not sex yet. The thing is that I am quite scared of pushing the interaction to the sex itself since I am so inexpirienced and even the youngest girls I meet (around 18) are probably better at it than I do. This manifest in feelings of worthlesness and inability around girls. I was feeling like maybe I shoudl just drop my standarts so I can get this thing fixed and go out with some girls I am not so attracted to so I can at least sleep with them or something. I am actually not sure what my question here is, I would just like to know some story from people here, who were in the same situation as me and managed to fix it and how they did it (obviously having more sex is gonna help but other than that?). Thanks in advance!

Also I have one quiteston regarding this topic. Before I begun having regural sex I was often woried about finish too quick, but now I have the oposite problem. My current girl is often frustrated that I am unable to finish more then once in hours of having sex. Have anyone of u experienced this and how have u solved this? :] thanks.

Just to update on this topic since I have been out of this forum for some time: Thanks everyone for the advice on here. I found some usefull tips in everyones reply :} Since January I hooked up with 3 girls and have a friends with benefits arrangement with one of them for 2 months now. They all complimented me on my skills and from their expression in the bed I dont think they lied. The girl I am seeing even said she never experienced such intesnse and regural orgasms with anyone and she's been with plenty of guys! What helped me a lot, was watching a Leo's series on sex, reading book Sex God Method and also suprisingly some technical tips I found on the internet and pornsites (not regural porn, but concrete tutorials on how to satisfy woman). Everyone time I have sex I look forward to better myself and learn something new. My plan is that, when I master ( at least sort of ) this regural sex I will look into tantric sex a lot of people mention here on forum, but I don't want to skip stages just yet. Thanks again, this forum and people in it are pure godl!

Hi there, Recently I have after longer pause started working on myslef in terms of both spirituality ( mostly meditation ) and social skills ( doing pickup ). What I have noticed in last week however is that I have this very sad and annoying feeling that I have missed out in life. I am 23 years old and I feel like the stage when you are young and go drink with your friend and do stupid shit is kinda over both because of my age and because of me doing spirituality and that does not align with this. Even when I try to remind myself that I the presence is all that matters, this uneasy feeling comes back to me. Has anyone ever experienced this? And how have you overcame this? Thanks is advance guys

Hi guys, Ever since highschool, I have always been quite introverted, socially anxious and bad with opposite sex. Starting end of first wawe of covid I've decided to do something about it and started putting myself out there. Meaning I found an experienced wingman and went out with him as much as possible ( on average 5 times a week). Eventhough we were out of lockdown at the time, the situation was not best for pickup since most of the bars and clubs were closed, so we pretty much had to rely on daygame. We did this from like June until September, when my country went into second lockdown. I did see some improvements, but I can also see I still have a lot of work in front of me. Since we are still in lockdown now and I assume we will be in couple of upcomming months I have decided to focus more on my innergame before I can jump into the field again. I have been doing mindfulness meditation, metta meditation each day for 30 minutes each and top of that I did some shadow work, which I kinda struggled with. I also scheduled an appointment with psychotherapist who's focus is self-esteem, relationships etc. I wanted to ask people on here, if you have any experience with psychotherapy helping you with social anxiety, introversion, low self confidence etc? Also guys who did pickup or just made progress on how they view themself, would you consider mindfulness and metta meditation as a good practice for my purpose atm? Thank you guys so much in advance for the answers.

I did. Bought it today. Didnt look into it too much yet but i think its worth it. Shoot me a pm if u are interested in more info.

I actually just bought it. I didnt look deep into it yet, since the structure of the program is week based and I dont want to skip it, but so far it looks rock solid man. Only issue now is, that I have no idea how I will go about completing the missions in lockdown