Valach

Many guys can not tell. I never saw him so idk what his sticking points are exactly. But he needs to start having longer interactions. It should be hard for you to reach high volume for approaches simply due to people being interested in talking to you so you keep having long conversations.

It is better to not focus so much on numbers. I don't think he is at the stage to recognize good and bad number.

Brother I will try to come back to this and formulate it beter later on. I need to get some work done right now and this response needs time for me to think.

Fair. But in my experience young woman are more prone to evaluate you by the amount of emotional stimulation you bring to her life and not focus on you character as much - so someone who hates woman but is just fun/charismatic might have his way with woman ( I have actually met plenty of men like that). Older woman might be different. But I don't have that much experience with older woman (romantically or platonically) since I am still in my 20's.

@Miguel1, I want to challenge you a little bit here, and I mean this in a friendly and constructive way. Reading your posts in this thread, as well as some of the things you've written previously, I sometimes wonder whether there might be a bit of spiritual ego mixed into how you see this whole situation. There seems to be a recurring narrative that you are highly developed/conscious, while most people around you are significantly less developed, and therefore it is extremely difficult to find someone who meets your standards. At the same time, you also seem to bring up things like being beautiful, looking young for your age, having very high standards, etc. And then there seems to be quite a lot of frustration around not being able to get the kind of relationship you want. I could obviously be completely wrong about you, because I only know you through what you post here. But taken together, something about that feels a little contradictory to me. Generally, when I meet people who have done a lot of inner work and have developed a deep sense of love and acceptance toward themselves and other people, I don't notice much need in them to emphasize how developed they are relative to everyone else. If anything, there often seems to be increasing humility about how much shit they themselves still have to work through. That doesn't mean I think your standards are unreasonable. I actually agree that once you care about self-awareness, emotional maturity, growth, etc., finding someone genuinely compatible becomes harder. And there is nothing wrong with wanting a partner who shares your values and can meet you at a certain depth. What I'm questioning is the relationship you have to those standards and the story surrounding them. I wonder whether instead of framing the problem primarily as "I have developed so much that there are very few women developed enough for me," there might be something useful in asking: What is dating still supposed to give me? Why does not having this particular kind of woman create so much frustration? Is some part of me still looking for completion, validation, or a sense of worth through having an exceptional partner? And perhaps letting go of dating could actually be useful from that perspective—not because you have transcended women or relationships, but because it gives you space to investigate what you were hoping to get from them in the first place. Maybe there is another direction worth putting more energy into as well: deepening the love you have for yourself and other people, and finding something meaningful through which you can contribute to others. I don't know enough about your life to know what that would look like for you, or whether dance already serves that role to some degree. But at least for me, orienting more of my life around what I can give rather than what I can get has been very helpful. And I wonder whether there is something there for you too. Again, I could be projecting or misunderstanding you. I'm not saying any of this as "you're actually not developed." I'm questioning whether the identity of being highly developed might itself be something worth examining.

To be honest, I don't think older woman would be more tolerant about this.

But you keep coming into this spam apporaching, this is not first time you mention this. 2 instadates are gonna teach you more than 100 1-minute conversations.

Wouldn't it be more productive at this stage of your development to focus less on spam approaching and more on actually building some connection within these approaches?

For me woman would often get mad that I have much softer hands than them. I never used anything for them but I have really soft skin on them.

@Miguel1 I do not think giving up entirely needs to happen. Why not just take it super easy and deprioritize it? I understand your frustration. I am also tired of situations where I come to a date and the woman really cares about what kind of music I like or what kind of series I am watching. As if it says anything about the person. But I do not see that as a reason to give up entirely. Just try to find your crowd (i know its hard) and take it way slower.

Good. I don't consider them healthy for our society. They can be done in an ethical way perhaps, but the current way they operate is beyond toxic.

Basically what it all comes down to is asking yourself "Do I want to do this thing or am I doing it to get something from the other party" - that is the difference between the fake niceness and genuine one. That requires some level of self awareness.

Depends on the exercise You could easily use pickup to avoid the pains of diving into your inner world. Not saying that is you of course. But yes, many spiritual exercises are just another avoidant strategy.

It should be both. But many guys get stuck in the cycle of being enough only when taking action. It is a common trap of pickup.

What I am saying that when you call someone on discord (1on1 situation) the other party will be the "bigger" screen by default. So if it would be you streaming, we would see @LordFall in the center.

Yes. And can you be enough even without being in the flow and going crazy? Can you be enough even when not approaching many woman? Maybe can you be enough even when not approaching at all?

Because @LordFall was streaming from his POV and when you have call on discord the other side will be the center of the video. It is normal.

@Olaf Yes and no. If you do not hold these beliefs deep down, it will be still a performance and it will be visible to people (not all, but a lot of them) and it will be leaking. Point is that this requires deep change on psychological level. Just telling yourself "I am good enough" whilst better than nothing is not sufficient, it is still surface level. But I like the direction you are taking, it will take time but I hope and believe that it will work out for you!

I am glad you enjoy that. Have you ever tried ecstatic dance? I am going to my first ever next friday and was curious what your opinion, as a dancer, is.

About 2-3 years ago.

I am quite extreme in this regard. I view social media as very unhealthy for the human mind. Basically on the same level as regular drugs. So I refuse to have them even if it means that I will not be geting with that many woman. With that being said I did delete my social media somewhere in the middle of my PUA journey and I did not notice any downturn of how many dates I would be getting. My profile was not super good of course but still. Had plenty of responsivness just with plain numbers.

Not to be condescending, but at this point of my development, my ideal partner (if I even was seeking one) would probably not be active on social media, so creating IG for that does not really align with my goals and values (but again, I don't have any in the dating rn so who knows what is to come). It might be useful for your "normie" PUA, no doubt as longs as you do not sacrifice your authenticity and health for it.

Amazing, what kind of art shows do you enjoy?

Senior Software engineer here, It is gonna make it harder to enter the field or start your own business (unless your idea is super unique), but people with experience are not getting replaced soon.

Perhaps. But we are talking here about curating it to meet woman. Not on some global impact thing.