Valach

It is hard to evaluate since i am also biased obviously. But i feel like most people are simply not self aware to admit how insecure they are. Many of my friends if i explained attachment theory to them would claim they are secure eventhough i can fully see how much insecurity they have. it is kinda bizzare. If i could snap my fingers and heal everyone over nigth, the society with its capitalistic model would probably crumble.

I honestly doubt that there are as many as 20%, more like 5%. Obviously depending on the location, but i can count on the fingers of one hand how many truly secure and healthy people have i met. btw. Why do you think insecure people use dating apps and secure dont?

Okay, I rewatched and get it now. Yeah, redpill stems out of insecutiry obviously.

I am not sure I understand how redpill is connect to attachment theory?

I used to believe that too. But I met a lot of woman who are not all that picky about sex and also just because you sleep with them does not mean they picked you and want to keep seeing you. But the general trend is there, yes.

Basically, yes. Maximazing gain, minimazing loss.

It comes from game theory, which was created long before the modern games and is a subset of applied mathematics (which is computer science basically). Yes, it popularized now because of the games but the term existed long before the modern RPGs etc.

It comes from computer science.

What are the pros for you? Compared to single life and just sleeping around?

Same here. Way too high standarts for boths looks and character. And just like you I've found because the woman that are very attractive have way too many options, it in a way corrupts them (just like very succesfull pickup guys) and makes them struggle in building healthy relationships even more.

If she is looking for a relationship, or she seems to be a sensitive person and you are just looking for sex or validation, then yes, I take it as part of my responsibility to take this into consideration. I've burned woman in the past and I have been burned myself. I don't want to participate in this anymore. There is enough suffering in the world as is.

I feel like it also is having her agenda in your mind. A lot of danger of pickup is that you learn how to overstimulate woman emotionally so they surrender to your agenda. Even if you full well know that they want different thing from you.

Yeah, that is the thing. Like I am sociable person and in a way do all these things you mention. But I just never take any photos. All the photos I have from last couple of years are just photos my gfs took of me. And I don't really like using those.

Dang. Like this a great advice, but it then it makes me feel so artificial to curate a profile in such a way.

Beautiful read man, thank you for that. Do you think the phase of sleeping around a lot had a negative impact in some ways on you being able to have functioning relationships in the future?

The post reeks of a lot of resentment. It is about you, not at all about the woman who are or are not hot.

How did you go about healing that?

Yeah, I feel like "abundance" as in dating bunch of girls is just a temporary relief from a deeper wound.

The tricky part is also being aware of why the one wants the things he/she wants.

I didn't want to talk to you specifically. Just wanted to paint the general picture of pickup community, where I see that we are all wanting this 10/10, yet we don't give a shit if our other life is 7/10. And I think that's a good thing (having non-perfect life). I feel like if we can't learn to be happy with a woman who is 7/10 or 8/10 looks wise, we have an issue on our hands. And I am struggling with the same thing!

This is exactly whom someone without much success with woman would admire. The dude does not have much game to speak of. Eventhough I dont like the term.

I mean, to be buying designer clothes is already materialism. Again, it does seem like the woman is extension of yourself in a way. Of you self-value in this case. I am struggling with the same thing so not judging, but I see this so often in the pickup community. You don't really care that much that your job is 7/10, your health or your friends are 7/10, why does the woman have to be 10/10? It often is because we project our own self worth onto her. What is your experience with dating/being in relationship with those top tier woman. I did date couple of them myself and I found that they are usually terrible at relationships. In a way the sheer options they have and the constant admiration and validations corrupts the soul. If I had to be born a woman in my next life and my intention was to have a healthy, mature relationships I would probably choose being 6/10 over 9/10 lol.

That is impossible to answer. There are just way too many different woman, even among the "most" attractive ones. Some of them will care very much, some of them really don't. Obviously those who do not are not as visible because they do not have instagrams full of expensive things etc. But yeah, if you want to have a stable, healthy relationship, you have to be somewhat stable - but not just financially. Another question is though, why do you desire these specific woman for a relationship. Me personally, I am not really a materialistic person and I would not enjoy company of such woman. I feel like often we desire these "top-level" woman just to prove our own worth to ourselfs, not out of genuine liking.

Curious about this conformity, would you expand on that? Also what do you consider excessive? I never liked the big tattooes covering big parts of body. I enjoy the cute small ones girls sometimes get.

I feel like it is so common these days that it is impossible to make any generalisations.