Valach

I have mentioned it elsewhere, but please be careful to not disassociate from your own emotional core by doing all of this. Basically numbing down any emotions regarding rejections. Seen that plenty of times and it is very hard to revert.

The dating section is full of misogyny. If you came here often you would know already.

@something_else Why do you even bother discussing this with them at this point bro..

A lot of people (vast majority) carry a lot of trauma that leads them to pursue things that are fundamnetally not good for them. Human mind is rather fragile. A lot of people will get hurt and get jaded by going through these experiences. It is not as simple as "having fun in the moment is good for you". I mean you could use the same arguments for doing drugs or any unhealhty habbit that clearly have a long term effects on you and those are usually not positive. With a lot of self-awarreness you can easily spot this in people. Many time I have met woman (or men but obviously it is easier to spot in people you date) who eventhough they engage in casual stuff and dating, you can sense that they truly do not desire it. And they are just using it to run away from themselfs.

It is not his mistake though. It is not like he used her for sex and just dipped. Sure, he might have gotten carried away a little bit but did not do anything horrible. It used to happen quite often to me when woman would be super into me on dates, make out etc. and then did not want to continue and I never took it for a reason to hate them. Definitely felt used for sex couple of times, which was bad, but he did not go that far. Either way, I am very curious about update on what she will respond @Zenterus

It is funny how this person hates men yet she is the one seeking connection with them.

Okay, that is a legitimate redflag, fair enough. I just pointed that out because search for the "perfect partner" is more often than not just a defensive strategy for avoiding intimacy.

I would definitely hard avoid any alcohol or substances for that matter on any dates. That is going to make it easier for you to keep your intentions clearer. As for whether she is right for you or not? Have you considered that this might be just avoidance?

But you do not built relationships on laughter. As @Miguel1 said a lot of what works within the realm of casual or PUA dating is basically an antithesis of healthy long-term relationships. I am not saying that having fun is an enemy, but there should be some level of seriousness and vetting in the dating process and that is inherently not as emotionally stimulating. It is quite interesting when it comes to this if you think about it. There is a general consensus that focusing on just what feels right is not the best life strategy - then I would just play videogames, jerkoff, smoke weed etc. Yet when it comes to dating most peoples vetting process is basically "How emotionally stimulating is this person" - it's nuts.

@Miguel1 Read throug the topic and I agree with your approach. While there is nothing inherently wrong about dating more people at the same time (if you are honest about that), I feel like it tends to mix up too many energies/dynamics with different people in order to view them somewhat objectively. Besides I feel like just as @Zenterus mentioned, I filter out most woman on the first date anyways so it is hard to imagine for me to be seeing multiple woman at the same time whom I would be actually interested in. If I meet a woman where I see the potential for us to go further, I want to explore that. Trying to run around and find more people to date with seems like a defensive strategy to sabotage your relationships.

Damn, never knew that.

Hard to give any specific advice when you do not describe your interactions nor your sticking points. Looks wise you look just fine and should not be held back by it. My guess would be that you view the whole thing way too mechanical from the way you keep track of approaches/dates/sex etc. That was my impression from guys who did that whom I met IRL.

Natasha is mine! Stay way, you muggle.

It is interesting how girls will share it freely once they feel like you are not judging them. I have encountered these "lists" as well and I always got an ick around that. Feels quite objectifying.

Yeah, similiar. I used to be of belief that it does not matter at all. Some experimentation is fine and maybe warranted. But people who do not stop at some point do so for a reason. And that reason is not usually aligned with being good at long term relationships. But just like you, I do not really ask that.

Curious what is absurdingly high number to you?

It is both interestingly enough. The "healthy people" (without me shaming you in any way, I struggle with the same) simply pair up fairly quickly and tend to stay in those relationships so they never really get to sleeping around that much. Then you have insecure attachment (avoidants mostly) who engage in casual sex way more which reinforces their beliefs. Seeking perfect partner, being stuck on ex from past etc. are all defensive mechanism from getting hurt. Fear of rejection is a core fear of all avoidants.

I really enjoy your takes on here. Thanks for that. In my experience also people who chase intense short term situations also kind of condition themselves out of sustaining long term relationships - If all you know and want is excitment, what are you gonna do when it wears off with your long term partner right?

Author of the post, not you.

Okay, the very first comment he made here. Like I do not know what to tell you. This dude gets warning for the way he speaks to woman every second time he contributes, yet you find my views shallow for thinking he is misogynistic?

Like 5 instances of his messages just in this very post.

His "views" are heavily misogynistic.

I never said someone is bypassing or projecting. Sure, these arguments are cyclical and I can't really have any sort of "proof" of my arguments since I am just using my own experience. But then when I see questions many of the guys have on here it is quite visible that they still have a lot of development to do around the topic. It is a inner conflict really for me. Sure, this is a dating section, but we are also on spiritual forum as @Xonas Pitfall pointed out. I would expect many of the things claimed here more on some sort of underground pickup forum, not here.

Do not understand how you made it to almost 3k posts around here and did not get banned.

Yes, everyone who views woman as humans is a whiteknight from your paradigm.