Arthur

@gilded_honour Well if you really want to get deep with this question. I think fundamentally you can't answer it because surrendering your Ego is not up to you. Everything in life is simply just a happening. Your question implies free-will, when there is none. There is an illusion of thinker, doer, choices, time, cause and effect. In reality, you have as much control over your thoughts as over your hair growth. The complexity of life is infinite and it is not up to you to make choices/decisions, it never was. If consciousness wants to experience itself through you, it will happen. And if not, it's not up to you either. You can also think of it this way, the subconscious mind can process 20 000 000 bits of info per second. The conscious mind can only process 40 bits per second, yet takes all the credit. You did not choose to be born in a specific time, you didn't choose your upbringing, which influences the majority of your life. You didn't even choose to hear about Enlightenment or to stumble on Leo's channel and this forum.

Programming is a very broad spectrum field. Whether you are a mindless keyboard puncher or a big system thinker will depending on what type of software you write and what company you work for. In general, in a big company, you will most likely end up grinding away in a corner of a huge code base. While in a startup, you will have to be more creative and diversify your work. It very much depends on what kind of programming you are involved with. I would imagine if you are doing R&D, it's much more interesting and involved than mundane maintenance. Also, you always have the choice to explore new paths in programming. If you've been a web developer for a while, try going down to the application layer and build programs for the OS. If you have an inclination for math, try Data science or if you want to explore big complex systems, do Kernel programming. When you are good with the low-level languages, you can explore embedded development or firmware programming. This will open up a whole new world of electronics and hardware for you. You don't have to be stuck in one particular framework. I would argue that exploring new routes will make you a much better programmer even in the same sphere. There are endless opportunities. I think your work feels uninspiring because you've been doing uninspiring work yourself, and not because of the field itself.

Don't worry man, as long as you are on the right path, that's all that matters! Imagine how awesome your life will be in 5 years if you keep doing self-actualization. Maybe you've been going at it too hard. Try to put a couple hundred a month aside, and use that money to travel. You can travel easily on a budget too, there are tons of resources on how to do it. I think it will give you a nice change in perspective and clear your mind from this everyday bullshit. And who knows, maybe by the time you get back, you'll find what you want to do in life.

@Dean Walker Have you tried not smoking for two weeks and check the results? From what I've observed, continues smoking can cause social anxiety. It's actually a vicious circle: weed --> feeling anxious --> more weed. You don't have to worry about dropping in development if you stop. There are much more well-developed people who never smoked in their life. If anything, weed is a hindrance and an obstacle you need to overcome. It clouds your judgment, makes you anxious and forgetful, not to mention no desire to pursue life purpose and mastery. Maybe it helped you to see through SD Orange when you were a teenager, but now its time to move forward.

This is a great idea! Hopefully, after a number of successful meeting, you will find your way to the cold North (Canada). Will you be recording and sharing the talks on the channel or blog?

Dude, concluding from what you've laid out, you have some more prominent stuff to get right in your life. Get your career in order so you can move out of your parent's place. Figure out where your sense of anger and frustration arise. Try to see society through a more positive lens. Become detached from external circumstances and happenings of life. Psychedelics and spirituality can be a powerful tool. But as Leo mentioned in his last video, you have to get other shit together before you are mentally mature enough to do this work. I'm not saying this to judge, I'm still young myself and not in the position of going balls deep on spiritual work. But I think when psychedelics are done to gain something, they are used for the wrong reasons. When used out of genuine curiosity and inquiry into reality, they can be very eye-opening.

I've always done it alone. I don't think I will be able to surrender fully with somebody in the room. I will have thoughts about how this person is judging me in the back of my mind. It could be different if you have a deep connection with this person, and he or she is also into spirituality. Although even then, I think this is a very personal and intimate experience. It is your life's journey and the most significant insight you can have. It really feels sacred in a religious sort of way. At first, I was concerned with safety as well. I closed my balcony and hid sharp objects. But after a few trips, I realized that it has nothing to do with not being in control physically. This substance does not make you mad or lower your inhibitions, nor will it give you visuals, entities or voices. It will remove your mind - sense of self, and you will merge with raw reality. Different people have different experiences of course. In my view, it can be used safely, provided you don't start with a high dose.

I'm ESFP. I too prefer Socionics over MBTI.

I first started with 3 trips, 3 days in a row. I increased the doses and tried different routes of administration. I didn't get a lot out of the substance as I was just checking how my body will react and what dosages I need to use in the future. After about two weeks, I increased the dosages and switched my RoA. And that is when I started having much deeper trips. Even on the medium dose, the experiences can be quite significant. I don't think you will want to have big trips day after day, unless you really force yourself. Give yourself at least one week between big trips. I find that two weeks is just enough for the brain to ease off and forget a little bit about the experience. After my breakthrough I haven't touched the substance in two weeks, and only recently did a medium dose. Btw, I noticed that after my breakthrough, this following trip was much more gentle. I think once you've surrendered your Ego, it becomes easier (I might be proven wrong in the future). Also, try to put yourself in a calm state of mind. Try to meditate and relax before you go on the trip, let whatever comes to come and let it be.

Like airplane lift off, happens in a split second, but what about the runway.

I used to play a lot during my teens. I have to say that I do regret it, but then again there was no other way. It made more anti-social, I could have gotten a girlfriend much faster. I also lost my eye vision and started wearing glasses. I would say if you are under 20, get it out of your system and play as you like. Don't repress any desires for entertainment, as they will ultimately bubble and the repression will lead to no-where. Today even if I had the desire to play video games, I couldn't afford it time-wise. There just so much to learn about life and technical trades, that even if I read all day, It will take me years. For entertainment, I will occasionally watch a good quality movie. Honestly, what kind of killed it for me is that as I became more mature, I started to understand how technology (programming) works in video games. That sort of took away the mystery and allure of interesting games that I knew when I was younger. Now I see that every step, every corner, and every plot-twist is been carefully architected by a team of people, who are not necessarily the most creative ones. A lot of the games out there have quite a shallow storyline that is catered to SD stage Orange nerdy guys. It all just became very mechanical, the story unexciting and no real room for creative thinking, because any move you make has been planned already. Idk I guess I just grew out of it.

Good voice, but orange af.

I think it comes down to the "matter vs perception" or "phenomena vs noumena" problem. Everything we know in our existence comes from a first-person experience. If we open up the brain and start digging we won't thoughts or consciousness existing as entities inside the brain. So there is this huge barrier between the phenomena (appearance) and the noumena (the thing in itself). You can argue that the noumena doest even exist since it's an idea appearing in our phenomena, but that's not the question. Regardless, there appears to be a link between the physical brain and our experience of life. Psychedelic experiences, 'induced chemically' so to speak, are not any different from our everyday experiences. For example, when you feel hungry - the physical reflection of that is an increase in the hormone Leptin. When you feel happy - it is neurotransmitters Serotonin and Dopamine. When a woman gives birth or a person dies, their pineal gland produces a large amount of DMT to kill the Ego and help to cope with the experience. I'm basically saying that every experience/feeling/motive has a 'physical' body reflection to it. Even Enlightenment can be seen as re-wiring for the brain. And who knows, maybe Yogies who experience states of no-self (Samadhi) actually found a way to make their bodies produce more 5-MeO.

Thank you for sharing! I wish there were more people like Leo and Octavio, who open our eyes to the truth and beauty of existence.

Well, not all of them

In my opinion, it is impossible to stop thinking. The notion of thinking itself is a grey area because you could say emotions, perceptions, sensations are a type of thought as well. Even beyond that, the subconscious mind itself can be viewed as a collection of thoughts and notions under the surface. But even if we talk about the recurring surface level thoughts. Stopping them will mean a regression in one's Evolution. You can't suddenly go back to an animal state prior to thoughts. Likewise, transcending thought would mean being in continues state of Samadhi, where one can't function in this world. Thoughts come and go out of nowhere and are outside of your control (like weather or your body's metabolism). Trying to stop your mind can be a powerful ascetic practice since you will quickly realize that it is impossible. I think Enlightenment definitely does not mean secession of thoughts, emotions or even moods. All of that will still be there, just your relationship to it will change.

In my view, with a high dose of 5-MeO and a state of surrender, you can have what is called a Samadhi experience. This experience is so total and radical that it shatters everything around you and you cease to be a person anymore. You're so immersed in a state of no-self / cosmic consciousness that you can't function in this world anymore. Sadhguru said that he saw Yogies sitting for months in Samadhi until their bodies start to rotten. I think a state of Samadhi is not Enlightenment. I mean obviously enlightened people are all around us and able to function in society quite well. I will even go as far as saying that besides being very authentic in their interactions, there aren't any external giveaways of an Enlightened person. I think Enlightenment is the realization some Truth of existence, not a mystical state nor cessation of personality or emotions. If an Enlightened person takes 5-MeO he or she will have a samadhi experience just like everybody else. He or she might even experience the 'negative' emotions and sensations that might be associated with sub-breakthrough doses. But, these will not be viewed as negative experiences (because you need ego for that), and in that sense, will not bother an Enlightened person. Samadhi state might not be of high value for an Enlightened person. But this experience is extremely useful for non-Enlightened people as it will show you what the Absolute is aside from mental projection. It will show you what Spirituality is truly about. It will make a believer out of you and humble you so much that a part of your Ego will break.

My fifth wife doesn't agree with you.

This is just my personal opinion. In general, I think men have more Ego than women. Having more potent Ego means it creates more trouble in your life. By suffering more from Egoic problems, we tend to surrender and drop the ego much faster. If Ego is subtle in your life, you might be less likely to do something about it.

@Serotoninluv Have you tried doses in the 50s range? For me, a big breakthrough happened at 56mg plugged.

@Serotoninluv What are your dosages? I find that I have mild trips and no body load in sub 30mg with 5-meo.

Surrender your desire to conceptually understand the "voice" and you will transcend it.

because you are Empty

Ye, I experience exactly the same state, got there through 5-MeO. I don't feel like the universe or one with everything, or even that I don't exist, because clearly there is a body/emotions/sensations. It's very subtle though, like I'm aware of all the things around me including my mind and my thoughts of "I". Feels like everything around me is just a happening, its present and it's there, the mind can't argue with it.