Seed

It's just bringing up the same ego related relationship issues that I had previously put to bed. Telling me to do things that are against my highest values and waking up dead emotions...... that have no use to me. Thanks fo the advice. x

@Michael569 Brilliant advice. Thank you!

@Eternity Thanks, I have ordered the book.

@SonataAllegro @Swarnim great advice!! Thank you ☺️

But Leo, girls ARE better than boys!

I have this niggling, ridiculous problem and that is when people refer to me as sweet.... 'that was very sweet'..... 'you are such a sweet person' 'you're so adorable' etc I get very insulted. One of my, very new friends refers to me as her pixie fairy, which she means as a compliment, but it drives me up the wall. And it seems to happen ALL THE TIME! I find it extremely patronising and disempowering. Even though the people who are saying it, are saying it as a compliment. I still can't stand it when it happens and it gets me down. I understand that the issue is within me and I need to work out how to not let it get to me. Not care..... I realise it is a petty thing to get upset about. So therefore, is the solution to not get so attached to labels? Or should I work on being less sweet, seeing as the adjective offends me so much. I could also bring it up with them, but that won't stop it from happening, as new people will say it. And the damage is already done. Unless i change my core personality. I suppose the issue is here (and yes, I am half talking to myself) What is my deep rooted issue with being called sweet?!? How can I accept this part of me? Is it reallly such an awful thing? Thanks is advance for any suggestion on how to either not care, or reframe the phrase.

Definately!

Yes - I definately prefer 'that was sweet' But I rarely get told that, mostly.... 'you are so sweet...'

Most likely!!!

@Rilles Wow. Really great excersize to try! I will do it now. Thank you.

I have a big issue. Basically - the more 'chill'.... 'aware' and 'grounded' I am in the day time... e.g letting my feelings go, meditating, keeping to a routine. not overthinking.. then the less I sleep at night. On the days where I am at my peak in terms of clarity - the more I writh around in bed, like I am possesed by a growly bear. I have tried meditating before bed and to get back to sleep, but this just makes me worse. I have found the only way to deal with it, is to just accept it. But it isn't nice and I tend to wake up very unsettled and agitated. The following day is then spent intergating back into the physical world, regulating my emotions... excersize, yoga, work etc. So I do calm down eventually. But the more I do so, the more adrenalised I will be when it is time to sleep. I lie there and have the biggest adrenaline rushes. It is like I am about to drop from the top of a rollercoaster and my guts are churning with excitment and fear! Though I have nothing to be excited or fearful of !?! I really do enjoy my sleep and would love to find a way to sleep. PS. When I do sleep, which I do in small chunks, depending on how 'good' the day was (the better the day, the worse the night). When I do sleep, I am fully aware during my dreams.... so the dreams happen but there is this voice or knowing or energy, I can't really describe it, that tells me to 'let go' all night long. This is an ongoing awareness. So even when I am asleep, I am still partially concious. Anyone else have similar issues or have any advice? Thanks! :-)

Excellent!!!!

Hello, So yes, I have been increasingly drawn to Kundalini yoga and attempted a free video session online this afternoon. I obviously struggled with it, but also, found it very captivating and releasing!!! The after effects have been lovely (feeling calm, but energised, very present) and I feel very passonate to start practising. However, there are no local teachers near me, so I would need to continue trying to guide myself, which may be a bad idea? After futher research, i have read that is is very dangerous to suddenly start Kundalini yoga as it can be too direct. I already have a very senstive system, so I have to be careful with energy work, However, I can't help being drawn to it... I am not looking for an awakening or anything. Just a way to express and balance my energy field and to create more consisent vitality in myself. I often have surges of energy and then go flat. Any thoughts? Thanks in advance.... :-)

@Unseeking Seeker thank you. Is it okay - do you think to explore other forms of yoga ? Just for fun and peace of mind ?

Fab thak you! Any views on hatha yoga? I just tried that one. It was pleasant, but nothing like the kundalini!

Hi @Girzo I don't want enlightment, particuarly - I am not there yet - I just want to feel better and more grounded and confident in my own skin. I often have periods of anxiety and self doubt and flat energy. I've also just had a very turbulent year (emotionally), so looking for alternative ways to make positive life changes, grow and express myself. My self esteem has taken a battering recently so looking to improve that too, I am aware there is no point running untilI can walk...

Thanks everyone... This is what puts me off!! https://isha.sadhguru.org/yoga/yoga-articles-yoga/kundalini-yoga-beneficial-or-dangerous/ He also mentions in this article that all forms of yoga are dangerous apart from this Upa Yoga...?! https://isha.sadhguru.org/global/en/wisdom/article/beginners-guide-to-learning-yoga Obviously, I am keen to get going. And feel drawn to the kundalini, but knowing my tendancies and the year I have had, I am probably not grounded enough for such an extreme release of energy, if that is what it does.. Although I have always felt I have something trapped inside of me for a long time which is why I get run down and repressed.

Thanks @CultivateLove and how’s the gradual approach holding up ? so you went all in with no prior experience of energy work / yoga ? do you work with a teacher or just online ? xx

By tuning my awareness away from my mind and onto what is. My body, my surroundings, my feelings. Etc ? were always connected. We just become distracted from it...

Being unloveable

Anyone else experiencing this? I started my self actualization journey over 2 years ago.... and whilst there wa some excellent growth in the first year... the 2nd year has been a slow and insidious deterioration, to the point where I walk around with a constant pit of anxiety weighing heavily in my gut, this anxiety has no relation to anything that I can think of..... And I am now no longer working on myself so that I can actualize, grow and develop.............. but just to function and get through the day without fallling apart. I hate to admit it, but after 2 years of meditation, breathwork, life purpose (which I actually led to being a huge success and still continuing to evolve), public speaking to improve social skills, pychotherapy, journalling, many, many fanastic books and videos and now 1:1 energy healing. I am worse mentally and emotionally than I have ever been. Any reslience that I gained from growing up and life experience has been totally washed down the drain! It's like all this work has turned me into a precious, over senstive, hyper aware snowflake? Anyone else feel this way? GRRRRR. x

Thanks Elisabeth. You mean Leo’s approach of contemplation or psychedelics ? It’s a very, very deep visceral feeling deep in my gut that doesn’t affect my digestion. It feels like a knife cutting through to the core of my being.

No I don’t... sorry

This happens to me during sound bath meditations and breathwork. It’s the body going into a deeply energetic state.

@modmyth thank you. I’ll have a ponder on what you said. I think I am getting frustrated and annoyed at myself for being worse than I when I started. I guess I just feel hopeless and pathetic.