zazed

I tend to experience a similar thing. I seemed to fluctuate between no-mind meditative states, and feelings of self-doubt and of emptiness, i was questioning the value of existence. Recently i have taken a more firm hand in my psyche, and started watching motivational video's, reading about confidence building techniques. From this i concluded three things: Ideally i would be bliss 24/7 and not need motivational confidence building techniques building up the self in between moments of no-mind is preferable to the alternative (depression) Watching the mind and steering it by rejecting doubt, increasing confidence and strength, takes a form of mindfulness For me, just watching it without intervention, was spiraling me into depression in my daily life. This did not impact my meditation rly. I am curious to learn how others view this, am i going backwards or forwards in my spiritual practice, by keeping my mind in check? A small addendum: I was not bothered by my lack of motivation, or my feelings of emptiness emotionally. It was all perfectly fine for me. The issue was, it was impacting my work, my social life. I was not really living anymore, i was just mindful and passive all the time. I could find no reason to do anything anymore, other than striving for enlightenment.

@Dodo this is true

@John Iverson You are most definitively a wonderful person! You don't need to do anything to be valuable, you are perfect as you are. You can only do what you think is right. And even then, what you do or think doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, and it certainly matters even less what other people think. Still, it is human nature to want to feel "valued", purpose is often defined by the acceptance of your ideas and views. Respect is given as a currency by others, or rather, more often withheld. As Nahm says you are focused on rejection. This is because we are biologically inclined to strive for acceptance by the group. You are normal in this way. It's totally not about the content of your ideas or interactions anymore. Its a deeper issue. Ask yourself, why did you cry, what causes the pain? And you will most likely find, you are unhappy with the response/reaction you get from your fellow humans. It's about being loved/wanted/accepted. You expect more, you want them to appload you, tell you how insightful you are. In this way, you are giving their opinions the power to create inside your head feelings of sorrow. When in fact, they don't intend to do this, and don't place the same weight/value upon the idea's as you do. Likely, they don't even care about it at all. You are sad, because the unacceptance gives you the feeling of failure, of being worthless even. You are attaching the value of your self to the opinions of other people. You don't need their acceptance to be you, you are always you, and you are perfect and exactly what you need to be at this moment! perhaps watch this?

wonderful, thank you for sharing!

@ThirdEyeSees Thank you for your insights, it was very helpful for me!

@ThirdEyeSees Thank you for sharing. It seems you have walked quite a path already, trough the hardship of life. It's very similar to my own life story it seems, i've quit weed a couple of months ago and it has been quite the experience these past months. I feel sometimes like i've deconstructed my "identity", by reading about all sorts of spiritual things making me wonder what/who i am at times. It's definitively an ongoing process For me, in most spiritual practices, i've found it is certainly possible to have experiences of bliss and rapture like sensations when i'm "working on it". But it is when out in the world in daily life, at work, or interacting with people, that i quickly lose most of it. That is why i was interested in your experience with kundalini that stays with you for longer periods, or the entire day even. How do you suggest i could try it out for myself, what is a good place to start to cultivate or even "master" it? I do have strange sensations around my belly and heart at times, that feel sort of like what you describe. I also have something that feels a lot like the orgasmic head feeling you describe. But when life's demands call me to "reality" it all quickly fades for me. Leaving it to have little impact on my daily life, aside from perhaps stress-relief and a good time in between the rest of my "harder life" I'm not skeptical at all, more than perhaps looking for "help" on how to do it myself?

@ThirdEyeSees Honest question, since you have the experience i would like to learn more from you? What is the benefit of the kundalini? Does it improve your quality of life? Is it just an enjoyable feeling, or does impact other facets of your life. Does it change the way you act, does it impact your personality in any way. Does it change how you see others. Regarding the third eye visions, do they have benefit, does it help you, or is it just "fun to see rain during sunshine"? How does it relate to enlightenment, is it a prerequesite for it, a result of it, or not much related to it. I don't want to come across as a skeptic here, i really want your insights/answers on some of these questions that pop up with me.

Its hard to know another persons's reasons or motivations. He may really believe the human experience is "meaningless", in this case especially his celebrity status, and these high society get-togethers. From such a perspective, shocking these "famous/important" people, some of them likely narcissistic, may be a self-liberating and fun thing to do. From such a perspective, these actions are risk free, without consequence. Because there are no consequences left to have. If life is really such a "game", and the individual personal life is not perceived as important, why should he not i ask you? There are around 16 waking hours a day for most people. Should one just sit 16h a day and wait to die? Meditation is one thing to do, but meditating 16hours a day get's old fast. What else is there to waste these 16 "meaningless" hours on? Even an enlightened Buddha, has these 16hours that are happening one way or another, followed by about 8 hours of sleep. A Buddha could undoubtedly sit 16h, no sweat, but history has proven they did not. @Heart of Space I don't think he is like these Christians pushing his idea's. Because this approach is destined to fail, and guaranteed to make people think he is crazy. So either he is really crazy, or he just does not give a flying fuck what people think and is just entertaining himself. (which can be considered being crazy, depending on who you ask) Worst case, it is slightly zen-devil like behavior, liberated morally and thus lacking restraint.

one does not become enlightened. Enlightenment is not an experience, instead it is experience. You can never be alone, but you can be the experience of "being alone", the awareness of it. It does not change experience itself, the awareness just goes on. The body/mind is maybe alone or afraid, but the experience is just experience, it does not care if you are alone and whether that can be considered good or bad by some. Enlightenment never was about gaining something, or reaching for, nor learning something. It is about letting go, and allowing the simple experience of life to remain. Because essentially, that is all there is, our "essential being" or "enlightened self" just is. Our existence is not the human idea's/morality/feelings/body, but it is that "capacity for life" deep within us, our soul perhaps, that is aware of all these things. This experience or awareness we actually are, just exists, like a witness looking at it: It exists in war-zones existing aware of pure horror it exists in utmost bliss at the happiest experiences in human life, it cannot be escaped from, it cannot be turned of. It cannot be chosen to be believed in, or searched for, you are always "enlightened" It is there when you dream, and when you wake up. It is always there and always has been. It is the alpha and omega It is where time moves through, unchanged as the sun sets, and as it rises, always constant. It is unchanged by time. it never changes, whether you are dying of cancer, lost your legs, or just cut your hair, it is always exactly the same. Always there to experience more. If you have a mental disease you are experience as true self if you get Alzheimer, experience continues unchanged (only the body input has changed) If you become blind, experience continues unchanged (only the body input has changed) if you become deaf, experience continues unchanged (only the body input has changed) If you are an animal, you are experience as true self Perhaps even plants and trees have an "aware" inner self somehow, aware of certain chemical signalings. It will experience everything you throw at it, even an atomic bomb, it does not matter what, but it will just experience it without judgement, without reason. Perhaps even after death it may continue, i don't really know about this now In my humble opinion, if you let go and dwell in it (meditating), feelings of "undirected love" start to emerge. But whatever feeling we experience is not us, it is a gift from the body perhaps when it is released from the burden of self? And there is really nothing there, no time, no worries, just the experience of life at that simple moment, which seems to feel "good" unless you are in physical pain perhaps. (but i don't meditate with physical pain) But most of us think, most of the time, we are a human, with a body, and desires/dreams, with a future and also a past. And so the "thing" that is aware of the human is forgotten, the mind takes control of our life, and as human we live. sometimes dreaming, the human is forgotten, or takes different form, and we still experience it, our true self "experience" is there to witness. Those who forgot about enlightenment are actually more correct. If you meditate without goal, just being calm. You are being, you are enlightened. Perhaps you may not fully understand all the implications of it, and as such it is fleeting and temporary. But many and most can manage such brief periods of turning off the body-identification and being pure experience. It's not sexy, it's not revolutionary, it seems like a simple mind trick, or semantics. So you read all these fancy things about it, cause that sells off-course. But the simplicity is huge in its depth.

Mind Cannot Understand Eternity Watch from this position i linked at least

It depends on why do you meditate? Just for relaxation like many people these days (which is fine), or for actual spiritual insights and enlightenment. There is study in books and writing, or listening to masters. Learning about enlightenment by words, trying to understand concepts of many religions and the guidance of people who went before. This is not bad, but it can only get you to the doorstep. After a years of this you start to get frustrated and think : "this is just more of the same, i already know all of this conceptually for years and years". And you put down the book you are reading, realizing there are no more answers to be found in human knowledge for you. Having read it all. Then there is study of existence itself, of what the fabric of reality is made up, of what enlightenment actually is. You cannot learn about this in books, nobody can teach this to you. So you meditate and you look for it in your own experience of life. Many things can be found by looking at "what is". Once you have truly found it, time of meditation is irrelevant. This is the actual work, we should have been doing from the start, instead of reading so much. It's like asking. If i'm learning to play the piano, what is the difference between practicing 1hour, or 2hours. There is no difference, but you experience more the more you do it. Meditation is special in once aspect. If your mind is unusually troubled. The first hour of meditation may be "wasted" just calming the mind. If that is the case, first go for a walk, or do something relaxing to quiet the mind, then meditate when you are already calm to go deeper.

When you ask this question, you actually are identifying with your brain. Because who is asking the question, is your brain, it is just thoughts. So the you who you referring to in this post, is your brain, or your thoughts. But it is not really who you are. If you were not your brain, you would be fully awakened already. @Socrates said pointed it out simply but powerfully. Your thoughts, are just one of many things in the your true self's experience.

@Shanmugam I agree with that interpretation of bliss. What i wanted to point out, is that bliss is considered a pleasurable emotion by most people. Most people seek enlightenment to gain something, such as the pleasure to be released from their suffering. This desire in itself is in conflict with gaining enlightenment. If the desire to gain bliss is the driver for a seekers practices, then enlightenment will never be found. It is the ego that desires. If you define bliss as something that just is, without looking forward to it. Then you are rare and already outside the trap of it. Yes, but the ego is not just a part of you. It is what most of us are fully and completely, at least in my experience. Its not that we are the ego in actuality, but it's all we know we are until we go deeper and let go of it. There is no problem at all, you are right about that, but only if you are already enlightened. If not, then the ego will cling to it as a desirable outcome. This is the trap of seeking enlightenment to gain something, when in actuality it is more an act of letting go and accepting life. Bliss is just something desirable for most normal human behinds, something they want and are striving for. Because of this i warn against it. It is my opinion, that focusing on desirable outcomes of enlightenment is dangerous, and beside the point. Because bliss has no meaning or purpose for an enlightenment person, it has no value at all. It's like showing a picture to someone who is blind. It's like asking the day of the week to a goldfish. Also i have lots of respect for your traditions. Tho i must admit, i do not know all of your religion in detail, as it is complex and vast So please forgive me, if i put my western spin on some insights, but is another perspective not worth wile at times?

I also enjoyed Ramana Maharshi's writings. And this quote of you is exactly why it doesn't lead to eternal bliss. Bliss as we consider it, is an emotion. With the cessation of duality, who is there left to feel the emotion of bliss? What remains to even care about feeling bliss? Why is it even important to feel this pleasant bliss? And what are pleasant feelings even? It is just semantics and bickering when people say there is no bliss, so you are right in a way. But it is in reality totally beside the point. In actuality, bliss is a mundane idea of the human brain. The enlightened one is above bliss even, so it is irrelevant to him. His state is unfathomable and beyond words or any comprehension of both of us now. And yet extremely simple and non-special in its non dual reality. When there is no duality, what is there? Who/what am i really? Is bliss not an emotion to desire, am i that desire, or that emotion itself? And if i am experiencing and enjoying bliss, there is bliss and there is me, so there is again duality? If there is no duality, then yes, i am bliss. but i am also hate. i am love. i am pain. i am joy. i am green, black, blue and orange. I am high and i am low. i am sound and i am light. i am thought and i am speech. I am you and i am this one. I am all the things, for if i was not all the things, then there is me and the separate thing. Two things is duality, and there is no duality, so they say. This is why it is irrelevant to think it leads to eternal bliss, its a trap of the mind/brain, a limitation to let go. Its not that you are wrong, its just not the right question to ask perhaps? But what do i know.. I am talking about non-duality, this creates duality, because there is non-duality, and there is my talking about non-duality?!

Do it as fast as you can take it. I suppose you won't be used to eating more, just do what comes natural, trying to up your intake. I'm not a fun of extreme diets. One rule you should follow, no simple sugars, meaning no soda, and nothing prepared with plain sugar. Carbohydrates are fine in small amounts, and its almost impossible to avoid. Eat healthy carbs, like potato's, carrots, dark grains. Quinoa is a super food containing carbs and a full protein profile. And offcourse eat protein. For weight lifting 15%carbs 30%fats and 55%protein in amount of calories is best in my experience. If you are unsure buy a scale, i weigh all my food. Especially weigh the carbs. Protein can be eyeballed, to much isn't that bad, to little perhaps is. You should feel energized, like you can take on the world, if you eat properly. If you eat carbs, eat them after exercise, as then they will contribute most to muscle gains, together with protein. Insulin is mostly known from diabetics, but it is actually a muscle building hormone pulling nutrients into your muscle cells. So some carbs are not bad after training, as carbs spike insulin in your bloodstream. However, this is only beneficial after exercise If you want knowledge, find reputable sources with real science, such as the above. But it may be less easy to comprehend. Be careful of fad diets that have bad statistics. Don't be too scared of carbs, it's more about quality and timing than total abstinence (after workouts, in the morning after waking up, dark only).

Eating only 1000cals is rarely a healthy diet. It will put you in a state of catabolism, where your body will consume your muscles during and after you workout. You will have to much cortisol, which destroys muscles. You will have reduced HGH, and HGH increases muscle growth. Basically you will be in starvation mode. In starvation mode, your body likes storing anything it can as fat, while quickly burning all your muscle to conserve energy. It does this because maintaining muscles requires calories, heavy muscles burn energy even at rest. your body will try to live as long as possible this way, so the muscles have to go first. So you will be fighting against yourself, unable to gain any muscles or any meaningful physique, as your body will be constantly cannibalizing its own muscles for energy. If gains are your goal, this will not be helpful. For gaining muscle, you want to be in an anabolic state always, which means you have to eat slightly more than you actually need. An anabolic state reduces cortisol, and boosts Human Growth Hormone, making muscle gains a lot faster. As well as reducing recovery times. Perhaps if you are terribly overweight it might be good. But, you weigh 140pounds, which is like a featherweight (63kg). If you want to bulk up, you should eat up to 3000calories a day to gain muscle. I know bodybuilders, been at it for years, and they eat up to 4000cals a day to sustain their exercise levels and muscle mass. It is a common tactic to eat less carbs. In which case you should eat more fats. You need to be able to burn something, and protein is a poor fuel. Personally, for gaining muscle i think 15%carbs 30%fats and 55%protein would be more helpful. For heavy cardio i would do 30%carbs, 30%fats and 40%protein. Muscle glycogen stores need replenishing after intense cardio sessions, which fats/proteins won't be good for. If i go cycling for example, i can burn up to 3000calories in one session. I become a fat/carb burning machine, that needs lots of fuel to survive this intensity. With your diet i would just die What are your goals, i'm kinda confused. Since you are not fat or overweight at all? Are you trying to get more muscle, are you going for long cardio sessions, are you just looking to maintain? Before giving any advise, it is better to know what your goals are, because ultimately your goals decide your diet.

I approve of your edit! Why would you like to disprove or approve any of your thoughts? Who is aware of thinking, who perceives stuck, why is it important and to whom?

@Principium Nexus That it is. “Why are you unhappy? Because 99.9 percent of everything you think, and of everything you do, is for yourself—and there isn’t one.” ― Wei Wu Wei “Play your part in the comedy, but don't identify yourself with your role.” ― Wei Wu Wei

@Principium Nexus Yes exactly, most people think they are their thoughts. so their thoughts are very important. They think many things, and need to act on these thoughts. They think they need a girlfriend, they think they need to have vacation, they think they need unhealthy tasty food, they think they need alcohol or drugs as a distraction, they think they need to meditate, they think they need to be enlightened to be happy, they think they need many friends, they think they need less friends, they think they need all these things. And these thoughts usually win, like you cannot just think you want something and let it just be a thought. It really has to happen for most people. Like they have no choice, it's who they are, they thought it, so it must be true. If you are thirsty or hungry, even that is a thought. One you should usually act on, but also one that can show you how powerful such thoughts can become. They can become so strong, so unbearable, that eating is inevitable, unless you already have reached enlightenment. I think this may be why fasting has been used to reach enlightenment, because it creates unbearable thoughts to learn to accept. If you realize your thoughts are not you, that they are not even your thoughts, because you have no thoughts. Basically you realize that they are just thoughts. They lose a lot of power. Especially these circular thoughts about who we are, and what value we have in society, are just bullshit. They are unrequired and they just make us terribly unhappy. And trying to stop thinking is even worse, because then you are unhappy because you are unable to stop thinking. Whatever you do with your thoughts, it will fuck you up. Because in the end, it all strengthens the illusion of being a separate self, the ego. In reality, your thoughts are not you, they just come and go. But to fight them, is just thoughts fighting thoughts. It's again being hijacked by them.

Try not to fight yourself. You do not need yourself to shut up. What is thinking is not you. You should stop caring about your thoughts so much. And say fuck it, even if the thoughts continue. I was like this in the beginning, and it is a battle that you cannot win, it is fighting thoughts with more thoughts. Trying to put out a fire with fire. The thoughts are a separate thing, they are part of the dream, why fight them? It is the battle that makes you tired. Accept these thoughts as part of this body in this dream, and lose interest in them, because they are uninteresting and meaningless. Let the fire burn, and just become the water you truly are, and see what happens to the fire... You think you want answers, but the you that wants this, is not you to begin with. It is a good way to start, and i was/am like this off-course. Give up even this desire, give up everything. This desire to stop thinking is just another thought from the ego, giving it strength. It actually defines you as a separate self, and everything that defines you as separate from life is "wrong". Going back to your movie-screen analogy, it is literally one character on the screen fighting with itself, why would the screen be impacted in any way by this? There is no meaning or purpose to be had in life. There is nothing but life itself, it just is. I am that i am. The movie is just the movie, it cannot change the movie-screen. As said before, it is not this body that will become enlightened anyway, so why care so much? T'is the caring too much about all the small things, even the attempt at controlling your own thoughts, that is neurotic. Just, breathe out, and let go of this constant battle we are waging with ourselves, drop your burden. Also, i am not enlightened, but i have taken long walks in the forest (literally). It is easier to be in nature.

I love this analogy, it is wonderful But it is not so much that the frog is enlightened. Enlightenment is reality, it is life, it is everything. The frog does not resist reality, it just allows being to unfold. Same for the fly, it does not feel sorry for itself while being eaten. It is resistance that creates ego, it is acceptance of this moment that releases the lower self as a separate self. Perhaps you could define non-resistance as enlightenment. And consciousness is the reality that is allowed to be by an enlightened one. It is just language after all, it means what we decides it means I've always found it fascinating, when you watch a wildlife documentary, like BBC's planet earth. When a young grass-eater is caught by a lion, it just lies down and submits. Not sure if this means anything, but it made me wonder about nature and existence.

Basically, you can never know on an intelectual level what you truly are. Don't try to understand it, try to not care about understanding it. Because this intelectual level is part of the dream, it is part of what you are not. So you can only know what you are not on an intelectual level. Because what you are not, is all you can hope to understand. What you truly are defies understanding.

This is a question from the perspective of the human experience again. The human can never become enlightened. You can never understand, don't try to understand it, try to let go of it. These identities are the dream, you as a human creates these identities. But the dream actually has no substance, it is nothing as @Leo Gura says. What is dreaming the dream is what is nothing, and this nothing is big-you. This dream just is, everything is the dream. It's why enlightenment is a leap. You do not become enlightened, you do not even grasp it as a person/human. The human can try to understand it, as many do. But what is typing here, my person will never be enlightened, this is why it is all so confusing. Consciousness has no language to communicate with, so all the teachings of it are just a poor signpost to a concept that defies words. Not a single sage, as you see him/her walking around, was ever enlightened. They are allowing consiousness to be aware through them. So have I . People cannot step out of the dream(ego game) because they are the dream. Big-you has to let go of the human as the dreamer and realize it is the dreamer and not the human. Everything you think/see/touch/hear/smell/feel is from the experience of the human, and none of this can help becoming consciousness. Knowledge can only point you towards enlightenment, you have to let go of the dream, by various meditation techniques to find it. This realization is ego-death, it is a kind of letting go of a burden and dropping it completely. Once you stop trying to make sense of it, it will start making sense, it will lose its importance too. It is not important, you cannot do life wrong, you just are, nothing is required of you here. Naming it, defining it, creates duality. Thinking about it creates duality. Only techniques such as mindfulnes (and others) are helpful, and you need no pre-existing understanding aside from how to do the technique. All of what i said is bullshit, it is all mental mastrubation i should not be doing, I should just sit down and become. When meditating, do not think about it, do not visualize, do not project ideas. Gently fall into it, let the mind be still, perhaps be curious without any expecations about what you will find. You must just see what is. Because you cannot know, you cannot imagine the truth of nothing. The biggest danger is mediation with an expectation/imagination of what you are supposed to find, because you will create an illusion. You will create a false dream of enlightenment, this is far easier than enlightenment, and done by 99.9% of all meditators. So all of this is useles to you, because i have just given you concepts that will only be a detriment to consiousness becoming aware of itself. Your ego will conjure up concepts from this thread during your next meditation session, and you will be stuck because of me, sorry It is called nothing, some call it the Tao or Dao, it is called God, Ishvara, Allah. It is called enlightenment, consciousness, awareness, being, existence. It is called the dreamer, and it is called the dream. TLDR : Just be

If you are the observer of the screen, there is duality. There is you and the screen. This is a problem if you believe in nonduality. (or have experienced it) It's my experience that we are the screen, and the screen is aware of itself. Or basically, we are reality/existence, and this existence is aware of itself. The thing that we truly are, that experiences our thoughts, or sight, our touch, our feelings. It does not have thoughts, it does not have sight, it does not have feelings. Who is to say what it truly is. In such a construction, there is no information flowing downstream into our human brains. It is impossible to even know with our human mind/brain if it can only see our physical bodies sight, smell, touch, feelings, thoughts. Perhaps this consciousness is aware of everything, and our human brain/perspective is only aware of its small part in it? You cannot experience it, you are it. When people ask "how can I experience it", they are asking the question from a perspective of the human experience. This is wrong, the human cannot experience reality. There is enlightenment or being, and there is the human. The human lives within the reality, the reality does not live within the human. Still, people search for lifetimes to find reality or enlightenment within themselves. You can only let go, and let reality exist as it is. There is nothing left to do, there is nothing to gain, nor anything to lose because you already are part of being. Like the waves are part of the ocean, a single wave has its perspective that is distinctive from another wave. But it's still just water. A wave can search all its life for water and never find it. But it is water within, and it is water all around, in fact, the wave's existence is the duality that is not real. Remove this duality, and there is only water, not even the ocean remains. It is my belief, and perhaps I have brushed against it briefly, seen the ox's tail. That there is no individuality, that reality and the experience of it, are one and the same.

I wish this was true, but i have to disagree with this feel-good fairy tale . Sadly there are many of these in leadership positions that will never be refuted. Without discussing the pro/con of the recent American president, I hope we can agree, he is an alpha male type. He will be taken out, after 4, or 8 years, depending on the next elections. But let's not go into political discussions, it's just the most well known example i think. @Shan @unknownworld @Zephyr Some of you have said this indeed, lets not equalize being an alpha male with being a sociopath. I was talking only about sociopaths at work, which is prevalent sadly, but not the same as being an alpha. Alpha male behavior, just means being a leader and being looked at as a leader by a social circle. This is not inherently wrong, and does not require putting people down either. @Leo Gura himself is the "prime alpha male" on these forums, you see this in the amount of likes even his smallest posts receive, and how he can often steer a conversation in a direction of his desire. People desire his approval here (hence the likes). But he is, we can all agree, not abusing this leadership position for any desired nonspiritual gains. He has it, mainly because he deserved it, because of his confidence, his knowledge and how he carries himself trough life. This is how a real leader acts. Like in a pack of wolves, the alpha is not the enemy, he is the leader keeping the pack safe and together. Without him they cannot survive. It is not something to avoid or look down upon, from a spiritual standpoint, if done with respect for the beta's in the pack. One can even say, that without love for the beta, the alpha is not a real alpha at all. One can be an alpha in many ways. An expert at work will often be an alpha automatically in many meetings, because people respect his expertise. The only thing required for a person at such a point, is to stand up, and do the most natural thing there is. Fill people's expectations of you with confidence. This is just acting according to consciousness, it is being non-striving with what is in life, and following the natural order of being with awareness of it. Again, there is no duality here. This is a part of enlightenment, such as everything in life is. @Leo Gura Perhaps an idea for a video "how to be a true alpha"?