Emre replied to Emre's topic in Meditation, Consciousness, Enlightenment, SpiritualityThank you all for your kind words and good media. I think I am pretty sure it was an ego death fully because you know. I mean like I knew I had no free will. Even the smallest things I thought I was doing were not being done. I was aware that my whole life I thought or felt that I was somehow in my skull somewhere, in the body at least. Somehow I thought that there was a thing behind the eyes that actually sees. For that 3-4 days I was fully aware that these were just fictions, they had no reality. Like I am surprised now how I lived my life that blind, when the illusion was right in front of my eyees I was not able to recognize it. But as I said it was pretty depressive at that time and I literally repeated every night that 'I exist. I am here. I can see' etc. I thought I was going insane, literally. That actually was really scary and when I was really focused and asked my self 'Who is it that's scared?' I knew that it was not real but still I kept saying 'These are all bullshit and nothing more than going insane' I don't know, that was the weirdest experience of my life. Experiencing there is nothing to have a life.
Emre posted a topic in Meditation, Consciousness, Enlightenment, SpiritualityI watched few series of vides on YouTube about holographic universe and when I was done I started to experience an ego death. I know it sounds weird like 'I' experienced' etc. but there is no other way I can put it. Anyways it lasted about 3-4 days and they were the most depressive days of my life. I even concidered ending the all meaningles a lie-based life. I don't understand how people get good insights on these kind of experiences. It is a truth that there would be 'no one' to experience the bad stuff but it is also true that there would be 'no one' to experience any joy in life. I just don't understand