Ananta

Exactly ?

https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/55938-quitting-smoking/?do=findComment&comment=753083 I made a post the other day regarding stopping smoking. Maybe you can get something from it? Cold turkey is my method of choice.

In my area, north East Ohio, it is currently red. Trump signs are everywhere and not those tiny ones...big huge ones. Lol. Practically everyone I know (from irl, to family, co-workers and FB friends), except my in-laws, are voting for Trump. But still, that only one section of Ohio. I don't know what other areas are doing.

Lol! ...what?

Here's a little fun fact about my state, Ohio. "Ohio is a state that has an uncanny ability to pick presidents. For the last 14 presidential elections, the winner of Ohio has also taken the White House — including 2016." We will see if it holds true this time.

That is against forum guidelines.

Its not easy, but worth it in the end. Good luck with it all.

The only way I quit was through cold turkey...3 years ago, after reading Allen Carr for probably the 4th time. I smoked for several decades a pack a day. Now, its like I never smoked. Nicotine replacements imo are a joke. I tried to quit smoking dozens of times, before it stuck for good. Edit: ...and don't let anyone make you "feel better" for being an addict, which you know you are. That is the truth! How do I know? Because, I was an addict, as far as nicotine and had been hooked on nicotine for a longgg time and ppl babying me with my nicotine addiction didn't help me at all. They just gave me excuses to be weak and stay addicted. Cold turkey is the way to go, with no excuses. That's how you break free of the addiction. Never, ever have "just one", because then you're starting all over or you might not start over, which would be worse. "Eight hours after putting out a cigarette, you are 97% nicotine-free. After just three days of not smoking, you are 100% nicotine-free." Allen Carr, The Easyway to Stop Smoking

@Loss You have a lot of great advice here, my thought was that colleges have career counselors that are there to help students pick appropriate classes/degrees to suit their interests. Perhaps make an appt to discuss your goals?

I would say you are correct. I live in Ohio and I'm 99% sure Trump has Ohio.

?

I think my earlier comments in the thread might clear up my position on this a bit, but if this becomes a "non-issue" for you, then you'll just be drawn to the person "as a whole" that you are attracted to the most and try it out. As a whole I mean the total package- looks, brains, personality, etc. and stop focusing so much on if they are physically hot or not.

? Thanks.

I don't really care if someone just wants an attractive partner...but, if they are not also attractive then why are they so special? Why should an attractive female "settle" (as men here are saying) for an unattractive male. See what I mean? It goes both ways. It seems to me that most on this forum bemoaning how they can't find a GF, really mean they can't find a HOT GF when they themselves aren't especially attractive or don't have above average personality, because experience has shown me that relatively attractive people with decent personalities DO NOT bitch on forums how they can't find women....unless they are reaching to get a partner that is out of their league. Yep, I said it. Not saying it doesn't happen, but you have to look in the mirror. If you want the hot girl, then what are you bringing to the table yourself. If it's average looks, social anxiety with low self esteem...wellll, good luck. Before anyone has a fit because of what I've said here just remember I was asked my honest opinion.

Wellll, my username used to be Anna1, so I'm a girl, lol. I changed it with my former mod status. Anyways, a person can grow on you. You can start to love aspects of them that you originally thought were weaknesses or didn't think were as interesting. So, yeah, it can happen.

I see you put this entire edit "above" my posts. Anyways....then, that answers your questions. Make sure you love the persons personality and you are good to go!

Then from the OP first post- Hmmm ?

@ColeMC01 what do you want to hear?? Wait for the amazing girl or you won't be happy? Or yep, go for average you'll be fine? Seriously, at the end of the day. It's still your call. You need to meet the girl and go from there.

Right? I don't see ppl that way. Some guys that should be hot I guess I see the flaws others don't and they aren't always hot to me. I love decent, kind, smart ppl and typically an attraction shines through whatever body type. However, if someone is ugly on the inside that shines through too.

@ColeMC01 also, if you can be happy with what you consider "average" is really up to you. It's a personal decision. If you love her and want to be with her, average or not, then you will be happy.

@ColeMC01 you said this- "decent looking (not good though)" on a recent thread, soooo your an average guy I'd say. So, mostly you will attract other average women to you. If that's a problem then perhaps if your were rich or had a great personality you could attract better then yourself.

@ColeMC01 Are you asking because you are an average guy?

@Hawkins Have you tried talking to a counselor or a speech-language therapist? Speech-language therapist can be extremely helpful in your case, because you didn't seem to be paralyzed by social anxiety (you did invite ppl out). You just lacked the ability to make a conversation once you were out which counselors or SP therapist could help you work on.