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Everything posted by Yonkon

  1. The lack of empathy this man radiates disturbs me. "They had family who mourns them now... Well anyway let's jump right in lmao"
  2. Hey there, Yesterday I talked with my girl and she said she slept with a guy without a using a condom before she met me. It was a friend and they knew each other. I have huge anxiety over catching Std's so this triggered me pretty hard. Right now I am depressed and worried, i don't want to sleep with her anymore to be honest. Am I overreacting? How to deal with this situation? (We are using always a condom by the way)
  3. Some good news! she got the test and even got the results already: everything is fine. We talked about our sexual past and experiences with other people, this was quite enlightening for me. Because we are now both tested on the most common Std's, we decided to continue without condoms! So this whole experience was quite bonding for us both. Thanks for your support everyone ❤️ @Farnaby As soon as I typed my post I knew someone would make a joke like that And yes, i did some soul searching the last few days and it is indeed connected with deeper fears. On the one hand, it is connected to the Madonna/Whore complex as @Waves suggested. On the other hand, it has to do with all the shame, guilt and anxiety I have in general about sexuality. So there is still a lot to unpack..
  4. @max duewel @Leo Gura @hamedsf She will make a test but it will take a few weeks till we get them. Would you guys still sleep with her in the meantime? My friends are saying it's not a big deal and a lot of women are doing it from time to time so it doesn't really matter.
  5. Hey Folks, First things first: if this is somehow against the rules, sorry about that. Basically i entertained the idea to create a thread where people can find accountability partners. I imagine like this: you post a very short and concise description about yourself, your current goals and your expectations when it comes to working with an accountability partner. When somebody resonates with your post, you can connect via pm and voila. After that you can edit your post so that you will not get spammed. So here we go: I am looking for an accountability partner for weekly calls where we discuss our goals, our progress and our failures. We share our experiences freely and are transparent with each other. I am starting my first business as a music teacher, also i want to transition to a raw food diet and want to start with calisthenics. In the long term i want to become a world class music producer. (Also bonus points if you can talk german) So if you are interested and we share similarities, hit me up.
  6. Or is it the requirement for all different games? I mean can god play with itself without self deception? What games are there other than self deception?
  7. Hey there, I'm meditating for many years now and always struggled with it. There were some breakthroughs but most of the time it felt forced and inefficient. Through contemplation some insights came up that helped me tremendously and now meditation is something pleasant that I look forward too. The biggest key for me was to stop being ideological about the techniques. Explicitly that means: I am allowing myself to move when I want to move. I don't have to sit still, but I can if it feels right. I don't have to sit cross legged, I can sit on a chair, lay down or stand. Also I can change positions during a session when my body gets stiff, this allows me to meditate longer. Also, I allow myself to switch to techniques during a session. That means i start with breathing and after some minutes I switch to labeling for example or to kriya. This is always different and i try to follow my intuition. Basically, meditation more and more becomes like play for me. I don't force myself to stay in line with the teachings, although I appreciate them and use them as guidance. Lastly i just want to say that the cold hard disciplined way also has value and can be a great way to balance the more experimental and loose approaching. Much love
  8. What Leo showed me is that even highly developed beings can have shitty and limited perspectives in music.
  9. @LittleYoga this is the right book, i bought it and it changed my life. I don't know about the audio programms but the book is well structured and clear.
  10. Hey there, today i want to introduce you to scribd.com You can access so many good books on there, most of leos reading list is on there too. (as book and audiobooks!) If you can accept reading on a screen and use audiobooks this site is a must. It's waaay cheaper than audible because you pay like 9$ a month and can access everything. They have really a ton of good books and audiobooks that it blows my mind this shit is not popular. (They also have music sheets! As a musician this tops everything.) So yeah check it out, it's a great website. Here are some faves: Healing the Shame That Binds You Light on the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali A Course In Miracles Never Split the Differences The Wisdom of Insecurity Dao De Jing
  11. Currently i am going with number 2, works gerat for me. What does your intuition say?
  12. Are there any good stage blue role models to study? I want to integrate blue but i can't find good books, courses and youtube channels with healthy stage blue content.
  13. @JosephKnecht Dude this is great, thank you! Fits perfectly.
  14. Hey there, I finally have a concrete goal in life but I am not sure how to formulate it in the right way. My main problem is that I have a financial goal and a life purpose: "I create a monthly passive income of 10k dollars by producing groundbreaking music." Now I feel I should pick only one of the 2 goals, mainly the second one so that my mind can focus on it... Will it work with both or will it scattter my brain?
  15. We are together for 5 weeks and we ended the relationship 3 times already but always got back together soon after that. Wtf? Never had that before. We are very passionate and get easily scared I think. A red flag?
  16. @egoeimai @Roy First I broke up because I didn't want a long distance relationship, but then I decided to give it a try 1 hour later. (now we live closer and its not a long distance relationship anymore) Then she broke uo because she couldn't trust me because I wanted to spend the day alone. After that she explained to me she has something like borderline, which makes her push me away when she gets scared. Then she broke up some weeks after because I was going out with friends and didn't reply for 8 hours. She is reflected and after those incidents she comes back and takes responsibility for her over the top actions and accusations.. She is quite clever and spiritual. I am really confused.
  17. Hey there, i use bioenergetics everyday and i love it! It helps me to express my anger and repressed sexuality like no other technique can and it gave me a huge confidence boost. Do you know Devaraj Sandberg?
  18. LSD is great but it takes to long for tolerance recovery (2 weeks) You might say "just increase the dosage and then you have enough to integrate in 2 weeks" but i feel this is not my way of going about this whole shabang. Ideally i want to trip every 3-7 days with small to medium dosages, this would fit perfectly to my lifestyle. Any ideas?
  19. @Serotoninluv I didn't know that, thanks! Could anyone tell me how long the tolerance reset for 50µg LSD would approximately be in your individual case?
  20. I tested out a fair share of spiritual practices and qiqong seems to be the most suited for my personality so i want to commit. (I love to move and i can't sit still) But now a questioned entered my mind: Has qiqong the same purpose as sitting meditation or yoga? I want to become healthy in body and mind, calm my being and open my heart. Is QiGong the right practice for walking this path? Imagine that i commit to a life long mastery of Qiqong, where would this lead me, what will get out of the practice? Another Question that is related: will all practices lead me to the same thing the one way or another?
  21. I've read it often enough: open the heart is the next step, become more loving and accepting etc. But how to you actually do this? Visualize the opening of the chakra? What are your methods/books?
  22. @Esoteric I've read and watched some Kahn, exactly what i was looking for. "Whatever arises, love that"
  23. @Thought Art I just finished it, wow what a ride. I've read many books but that one struck me deeply, almost painfully. Thanks for giving me the push.
  24. @Thought Art crazy, there is this girl i fell in love with who recommended me this book incidentally. Then through accident i stumbled upon this book weeks later. Now this. I have to get it now