Mondsee

@Afonso I'm working at it! Thanks for your words of encouragement

I read about this eating style and thought some of the things that it suggests might be good, but I was skeptical on some others. Have you heard about it? Do you practice it? What is your opinion on it?

Day 38 Days in a row: 1 Start time: 02:45 p.m. Finish time: 03:05 p.m. Location: My room at my parent's house Technique: Do nothing Eyes: open Highlights: Sitting in full lotus I had random thoughts during the entire session, not focusing on any topic in particular. I had stomach ache and I managed to start seeing that pain as something that didn't cause me suffering. It was as when you are in a museum and you see something and you don't like it that much, but it's not as if that thing is causing you to suffer. The same happened with my left leg during the last minutes given that it got numb, and I would just see it as something that wasn't mine and therefore wouldn't cause me to suffer. All touching sensations became really interesting because after contemplating on them on a while I couldn't explain what those sensations were and how one sensation was different from the other.

Oh, so... this question is unrelated to the comments above. After your awakening, did you have people who knew nothing about consciousness work tell you "hey you seem different?", "what happened to you?" or stuff like that? Could they notice in any way you had awoken or did it remain unnoticed for the rest of the people?

Day 37 Days in a row: 4 Start time: 10:10 a.m. Finish time: 10:45 a.m. Location: Balcony at my parent's house Technique: Do nothing Eyes: open Highlights: It started as a weak meditation session, with a slow pace of monkey mind, but monkey mind nonetheless, i.e. I was jumping from topic to topic all over the place and even to short mindfulness meditation moments. This continued until the end, but brought me to an insightful thought. It is a little bit difficult to put in words, but it was that I am everything, both my body and also everything surrounding it, and that it isn't "me" (i.e. my body) which moves around the world, but that it could be that the entire world moves around my body, and because the only constant there, is my body, that is the only thing I can find at any moment, then I think I am the body, but in fact I am everything moving around the body, and the body too. To use a metaphor it's as if the universe was one single thing (which might very well be, but that isn't the point, just bare with me). So the universe is one whole single thing, but the Sun is convinced it is the Sun and it lives in the universe, sometimes it goes and visits Mercury, sometimes it visits Venus, and some others it goes and visits the Earth, but in reality it is everything moving around that center which is the Sun, and the Sun isn't actually a separated piece, it is both the Sun and everything around it. The confusion arises because at any moment, no matter what is around, it can always find the Sun, so it thinks that it is the only thing that it is. So that was my insight, with my body being the Sun in this metaphor. Note: the metaphor was only to explain and not part of what I thought during the meditation

In order to do this (flatten the illusion of language) it is helpful to cut and unite words in random places such as "thef actthatyouc an'tfin dmed oesnotmeani donotex ist". Now read it word by word, as if it was a language you do not speak. Do you see now how it is just a bunch of sounds? we give it sense, but in fact it doesn't mean anything.

Day 36 Days in a row: 3 Start time: 19:50 a.m. Finish time: 20:20 a.m. Location: My room at my parent's house Technique: Mindfuln Eyes: closed Highlights: Sitting in half lotus I focused my attention on the sound of the A.C., noticing how I was that because that sound was no different than the sound that my breath was making. It felt like me just for a few sparks of seconds, nothing very significant. Some distracting thoughts crossed my mind several times

@Azrael I am assuming that most of the people who know you don't know much about consciousness work. Have they noticed a difference in you? Do they tell you something?

Day 35 Days in a row: 2 Start time: 8:15 a.m. Finish time: 8:40 a.m. Location: Balcony at my parent's house Technique: Mindfulness meditation Eyes: open Highlights: Sitting in half lotus. I labeled sensations under the same categories as yesterday, but had many more thoughts crossing my mind that often went unlabeled. While thinking the labelling process felt somewhat mechanical. My right leg got numb and in the end I was focusing a lot on "feeling" that.

Day 34 Days in a row: 1 Start time: 10:40 a.m. Finish time: 11:00 a.m. Location: Balcony at my parent's house Technique: Mindfulness meditation Eyes: open Highlights: Today I sat in full lotus. The posture was okay until the very last minutes in which my left leg got numb. I labelled every prominent sensation under the categories "seeing", "hearing" and "feeling", all of which included an external and an internal dimension, and "feeling" a physical and an emotional one. I was able to keep my attention into the practice for most of the time, and after a while I started seeing the sky on the same plane as a short wall in front of me, loosing the illusion of depth. That was interesting.

Like a firework (by Marco Fischer) Like a jewel

I am nowhere near being a serious consciousness connoisseur, but I can tell you that back when I was in high school, I was the mentor of a group of 1st grade, so I would spend some breaks with them. When I did that, I played with them as if I was a little 1st grader too, and not as the mentor guiding them. I abandoned my entire 19 y/o identity, and fully acted as if I was just one more of them. That is the closest I've ever been to feeling reality as magical, and as if I was experiencing things for the first time. I remember vividly a genuine feeling of excitement and fear of being found while playing hide and seek. It was as if a murderer was going to find me, but in an exciting way, as if it wouldn't have any bad consequences. Also the places at school became completely different, and if we agreed on a tree being the entrance to a magic world, it genuinely became the entrance of a magic world, and yes, I was 19.

Day 33 Days in a row: 5 Start time: 9:25 a.m. Finish time: 10:10 a.m. Location: My room at my parent's house Technique: Mindfulness meditation Eyes: closed Highlights: By far the absolutely most powerful meditation that I've ever had. I focused in what my senses were perceiving and at some point it was absolutely clear to me how the only thing that existed was the pitch darkness, not even the darkness but the space in which all those sensations were entering. If nothing but that space existed, that also meant my body didn't exist, what existed were the sensations of my body that were entering into that space, same with all sounds and smells. If my body didn't exist, and the sensations were no different to the sounds I was hearing and the smells I'm smelling, and the mental images that were crossing my mind, then why would I be only the sensation of my body? I started becoming a sphere of nothingness which was filled with different things, sometimes the sound of a bird + the mental image of a bird, the numbing sensation of my leg, the mental words of my mind, the sound of my AC and even the alarm of my cell phone going off. Before opening my eyes, I told myself "nothing is going to change, you are still going to be this nothingness, but this nothingness can also be filled with colors and shapes". I opened my eyes and the sensation lasted for a little bit, but not so powerful. Right now I actually know that I have no legs, as I can't see them right now, I only have the sensation of legs. The feeling isn't as powerful anymore, but if I focus on it, it's so incredibly obvious I actually laugh.

Do you know of any couple of enlightened beings out there? That is, where the wife and husband are both enlightened. I'm just curious.

@Revolutionary Think Why do you consider your genitals disgusting and not any other part of your body?

Cool, cool. Thanks for sharing folks! IMO they should share more what it is to share their lives with another person who knows Truth, these are for sure the least needy relationships ever, just for the pure fun! Good stuff...

Day 32 Days in a row: 4 Start time: 11:55 a.m. Finish time: 12:30 p.m. Location: Balcony at my parent's house Technique: Mindfulness meditation Eyes: open at the beginning, then closed Highlights: Long but comfortable meditation. I was labelling sensations under the categories of "seeing", "hearing" and "feeling. At some point I was doing the same but the label wasn't a word I was repeating in my mind any more, although the word labels came back after a while. I closed my eyes at some point and recognized very clearly how I was still "seeing" things, but now internally. Everything I was seeing from that moment on, were images created inside my mind, but those things still felt very real, as if they were really out there, and not only in my mind. I shake my head a couple times, when flies came too close to my eyes.

Day 31 Days in a row: 3 Start time: 9:30 a.m. Finish time: 10:00 a.m. Location: My room at my parent's house Technique: Do nothing Eyes: closed Highlights: Many thoughts about my ex-boyfriends. I could recognize how that triggered some emotions and sensations to which my ego is kind of addicted. It wants to feel loved, but funnily enough, also as a victim. Those thoughts felt like porn to my mind, it didn't want to stop watching, although it is toxic and useless. When the time was over, I noticed how I wouldn't have minded sitting there for somewhat longer thinking about the same.

Hey @Leo Gura, would you mind translating this into more practical terms? What do you mean with exposing awareness? What does that mean in terms of what we are supposed to do? Thank you!

Day 30 Days in a row: 2 Start time: 9:40 a.m. Finish time: 10:05 a.m. Location: Balcony at my parent's house Technique: Do nothing Eyes: closed Highlights: Story-mode thoughts about love and becoming one with other people.

Day 28 (Report from Wednesday the 26th) Days in a row: 3 Start time: ? Finish time: 35 mins later Location: Balcony at my parents house Technique: Mindfulness meditation Eyes: closed Highlights: I didn't post my report because I had no internet. I can't recall many details, but I remember focusing a lot on the noises I could hear, and trying to grasp them as the noise itself, and not as the result of something I could recognize and label as a car, a bird, etc. Also the session didn't feel too long. Day 29 Days in a row: 1 Start time: 12:30 p.m. Finish time: 12:50 p.m. Location: My room at my parents house Technique: Do nothing Eyes: closed Highlights: Monkey mind, monkey mind, monkey mind. I focused on sounds a little bit, but then went back to monkey mind full on. Also at some point I couldn't help but shake my head because I heard a mosquito flying by.

Day 27 Days in a row: 2 Start time: 11:10 a.m. Finish time: 11:40 a.m. Location: My room at my parent's house Technique: Do nothing Eyes: open Highlights: My mind tried repeatedly to understand not only logically, but really how what was in my view field actually existed, and all the rest was only in my imagination. It didn't quite work, and my mind started wandering all over the place, thinking about friends, my ex-boyfriends, my to-do things and other stuff. My left leg got numb quite soon, and many of my thoughts were dedicated to that, and I couldn't help to shake my head when a fly flew very close to my ear.

Day 26 Days in a row: 1 Start time: 10:10 a.m. Finish time: 10:35 a.m. Location: My room at my parent's house Technique: Do nothing & mindfulness meditation Eyes: closed Highlights: I started the meditation with the intention to use the "do nothing technique", but what my mind freely decided to do, as I was not controlling it, was a mindfulness meditation. I could hear the birds sing, an airplane, some cars, voices and the sound of a chainsaw (probably coming from the neighbors' house) and my mind would repeat to itself "listen, listen, listen, listen". Additional to that, I was becoming very mindful to the fact that all that there existed in that moment, were the things that I was being mindful of. All the rest were thoughts and memories. When I heard the birds, I was barely starting to be able to just hear the birds, without imagining simultaneously the image of my garden outside, but I knew, and I could recognize that even if I did think about my garden, and it felt very real, that was no more than a thought.

Day 24 and 25 Days in a row: ? Start time: ? Finish time: ? Location: My room at my parent's house Technique: Do nothing Eyes: ? Highlights: I only meditated twice during the last 5 days but forgot to report about it. I can't recall a lot other than in one of them I had many thoughts about sex and the other days there were mostly career related thoughts, including a very good idea that I might consider doing.

Today I sat down to contemplate on what I am. At some point I started really grasping, that there definitely is a possibility that I am deluded on what everything is, just as a mentally ill person is, who finds logic explanations for everything so that it fits into the story they're making up. And then my mind was like, "ok fine, there is that possibility... so what do I do to know the truth?" And then it would answer itself, "you know what you have to do, the question is, will you do it?". In retrospective, it seems funny, but at that moment my mind was like "no, I don't know what to do" and then it would answer itself "yes you do!", the conversation continued with my mind asking "ok then, what do I have to do, tell me and I'll do it" and it answering itself "you have to disappear! kill yourself!". The answer to that was "I can't" and then I started crying and my mind was saying "I can't because I don't know how to, tell me how to and I'll kill myself". It was a horrible contemplation session. Now that I'm writing about it, it seems an inner conversation you can laugh to, but it wasn't funny while it was happening. What do you, fellow self-observers, recommend me to do if I hit that same point again, of my mind playing the victim of not knowing how to do what it has to do? Thanks in advance.