Loreena

@Shane597 The kind of guy that you are, you'll probably not get a mate on an online dating website. This world too complicated for that. And I figure they are just playing games or something. On online dating sites, they're usually looking for more sexual fun, because of the privacy and anonymity over there. So lot's of folks are sexual there. Happened to me and I was a bit surprised. Didn't expect that. But these sites are mostly for fun. Lot of married people use these sites too with no intention of actually taking the relationship forward but just for ways of spending time and sexual fun.. So not recommended for soulmate searching..but you can have fun too for a short while, gain some experience in learning how to gauge people on the basis of their reactions, over time you can become an expert at having interesting conversations, doesn't hurt on the pocket and you get to learn stuff and no actual risk. Just be aware of risks because lot of catfishing, don't meet without prior verification, and be safe... If they're looking for a guy to fuck, it may not necessarily be their expectations out of a date ....you know they could be looking for someone to pay money for sex..like escorts, prostitu## you know what I mean...you can never figure out their intentions without actually meeting them...plus some of them could be gold diggers looking for something easy you know...so don't take that shit seriously and don't think that everyone around is like that...maybe the wrong kind of folks are on that site! Stay safe and take care. Not your fault. You just want deeper connections before getting sexual and that's normal. In fact, I would be wary of a guy who immediately wants to get sexual even before getting to know me better. Who knows what he wants.He could be one of those online predators you know. So don't take serious. Work on yourself on the side and keep meeting people and extend your circles. But focus more on meeting people in real life...after all virtual is virtual.. people may not be what they pretend to be online..but meeting in real life doesn't carry the risk of mingling with the wrong folks....you know what I mean....you will have some clarity when meeting in real life.. So take care...and no you're not being wrong, just normal. It's absolutely fine.

@Loreena how to upload images on this website twimg

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yeah, got it, thank you so much. I already pinned it in my diary for reference. Will read it.

What's the name of the book ?

is this the same book ?

What book is that ?

Can give examples ?

I hop.

@Prabhaker Well saide brother. Your comment should be the "comment of the century."

You're such a nice guy. I sometimes feel empathy for criminals. Because they could be doing wrong things without a genuine intention to cause harm. Maybe the circumstances made them do what they do. Maybe they never got a chance to transform themselves. Maybe they were messed up in their childhood. I feel punishment is like "two wrongs don't make a right." What do you think ?

I have realized I am gradually turning into a monk. Feels good.... So far, so good... no side-effects.

@BeginnerActualizer it could be due to stress. I have suffered sleep paralysis a few times. I felt like I was held down by a Dragon. In my case, I have realized it's caused by sleep deprivation. The days when I get good sleep, its usually doesn't happen. But I have to say, whenever it happens, it feels absolutely terrifying.

Well I never meant to say that you should have to completely change your sense of self. You should be your true self. But not too stubborn. You may lack certain things that others admire and acquiring those is just a part of growth and development and does not translate as "allowing others to rule." Maybe my words were a bit misleading. I shouldn't try to be a people pleaser or a magnet nor should I be a stubborn egotistical mule resistant to change and not ready to budge even a little. I shouldn't be exactly how he wants me to be, but developing certain skills or qualities that he admires is not a big deal if I really like him. It means flexibility and balance.

I only eat carrots. I somehow survived up until now.

@Shane597 You might try it. You might find one. But don't waste too much of yourself into it. Life is about living. Let go if you don't get. Don't lose yourself in the artificial race created by society.For the same reason, lot of guys turn into monks, because they are fed up of losing themselves in the mindless illusions created by society. Remember Leo's 30 ways in which society fucks.....my fav video. You have to be able to dissociate yourself from social pressure and realize when something is too much. Don't get blinded in the run for life (and girls. ) Your time is valuable and your life is too precious to waste in a never-ending chase for stuff. My only advice is - you have to develop yourself and become a better person to attract someone. But you don't need to lose yourself, compromise with your values, or completely change your being to get something. It's not worth it. Don't give into peer pressure and lose your identity. That never helps.

@Shane597 Yeah... that's unfortunate though.

That's true mate.

When did I say that I never tried to attain it. Obviously I should work on myself as well. That's why we are here for PD (and for other reasons like career etc) That's wrong man. You mean to say a blind girl should not marry a guy with normal eyesight. It's all about expectations. Relationships are supposed to be complementary, not a race or competition of comparative qualities. It's not some matching game. If I am happy with a guy, that's all that matters. But there are certain things I might find attractive and certain things that he can find attractive as well. Your way of suggesting it is as though an ugly guy should never think of having a relationship with a beautiful girl, that's very close minded. Both should work on their abilities and qualities and not expect the other to just like them. I said that I like a guy with certain things. But I never said that he should like me or accept me despite (me) lacking things he wants in me. He is free to reject me just as I am free to reject him. But it's wrong to say that a person should not expect something. If they find something attractive, they find it attractive whether they themselves have it or not. If I want to attract a particular guy, I should be as he wants me to be, so he can like me and I should try to attain it and not expect him to like me just because I am approaching him. And I should not be seeing what he has or has not, because it is me who is trying to attract him. And likewise, if he wants to attract me, he should try to develop what I want in him, whether I myself have it or not. It's mutual. I hope that cleared up what I was trying to say earlier.

Not sure. Maybe I don't.

@electroBeam imo, the other skills are more important than the bedroom skills.

@Dead_Mouse @electroBeam While juggling your acts, try repairing a car, or changing light bulbs in the house sometimes, or fixing the plumbing.... or extracting teeth like a dentist, or fighting a case like a lawyer, or playing music like a seasoned pianist, or counseling like Freud....that would do it. Try not to be an asshole, a punk or a juvenile manchild walking down the street with his pants sagging down...that can help.

@Socrates I don't like rsd. Controversial. Teaches men to think that it's all a game. Just the other day I was reading an article about rsd by rooshv, he is popular and I completely agree with him on his opinions about rsd. It can raise the egos of women exponentially. It lowers the value of men. Both genders are equally essential. And there should be nothing wrong in a woman approaching a man. It's all useless social conditioning. I don't even want to be approached and bombarded by many men. If I find a guy who matches the criteria on my list and if he is even slightly attractive(It's okay if he isn't good looking) , I'll probably approach the guy myself. But social conditioning is so fucked up, that the "guy" would think I am being needy/forward/slut/oversmart/nymphomaniac bla bla bla and he would probably take me for granted and dump me because I approached him. I don't find any problems in a woman making a choice for her soulmate. Both men and women can do the same. Dating shouldn't be a game. It should be about falling in love ( consciously falling in love and not blindly) and developing skills to sustain a relationship than just obtain it. Plus when you approach a dozen women a week, you're not gonna fall in love with each one of them, so it kinda makes you lose the genuineness of it, the genuine feeling of love is lost, instead replaced by a mundane need for sex and relationship (developing into an obsession like shopping for clothes)and the need to be a god at the game...Ha. Relationships are so difficult even for the gods of dating. Because anything that demands quality requires labor. Most guys who put so much labor into getting a girl, don't put half as much in keeping the relationship. You don't even need a 10 out of 10 on either side. You can select an average and maintain a healthy stable relationship and be happy. If feminism is making more women unavailable and fucking up society, then it's not the fault of men, it's just unfortunate and women would suffer as well, not just men. There should be a healthy balance between men and women. Neither feminism nor patriarchy. None should dominate. It should be a moderate dominance from both sides. To a certain extent, male dominance is preferable though, but not extreme. The whole thing is messed up because of skewed gender balance, feminism, the princess syndrome, unhealthy social conditioning, brainwashing by a brutal media, excessive peer pressure, over-emphasized gender needs ..... etc. Or else dating would have been much easier and smoother. Now it has been turned into a frustrating hunting process. The need to have a relationship should exist in both men and women, and not just in men. That pretty much sums up everything.

NO

hmmm...why