Loreena

They say, "In Weakness there is Strength." I have always wondered what it actually meant. A little confused. What is the exact meaning of this famous line/verse from the bible.

Well thank you for your kind words. I feel good. I have neglected myself for very long, not because of lack of gratitude though, but because of an extreme lack of self-love which led me to search for love in others. And in that process, I was always abused, used, cheated on and mistreated and taken for granted. I am completely blind to the attention I get even if a lot of people tell me so because I was always told at a very young age that I was not good enough and that I would always be a problem to everyone. I guess it got stuck into my subconscious so bad that I never believe if someone says I am good. In fact I had many instances in my life where I was praised by my teachers and people for my performance and I remained completely unaffected by people showering me with praise. I remember one such incident where I had done my hair in a different way and I was sitting with my friends and people were looking at me and I was getting a lot of attention and my friends told me that I need to be so happy about it, but I felt nothing because I guess in my mind I don't value myself as much as people do. I guess I am just not capable of loving myself anymore although I always advice others to do it. Maybe there is a deep void in me filled with extreme self-pity and that could be because of negligence by parents in childhood. I never received the love of my parents. I was raised like an orphan. I don't have a memory of family gatherings or a moment I spent with my parents loving me or hugging me. I never knew affection. And that probably left me scarred and craving for too much affection outside my family. This is also the reason I always have trouble opening up. I just swallowed my emotions because I could never trust anyone. I learned to swallow my emotions at an early age because that was the only way to deal when something bad happened.. I know I should have gratitude for whatever I have but the lack of self love beats it down. I don't even know how to begin with self-love and sometimes I write "I love myself," on a piece of paper but saying those things doesn't make any difference at all. I feel funny when I do it. I guess in my case, the self-pity (due to feeling worthless as a child, I was raised by my aunt for some years and she used to constantly hammer me with words like - "I shouldn't have been born" almost everyday for years. Maybe I was left broken and abandoned by it) is so strong that I find it impossible to see any good in me. And this self-pity has turned into a subconscious conflict manifestating itself as self-sabotage that never allows me to take care of myself. I always see people taking good care of themselves and I never find myself doing it and I have always wondered why I don't behave like other normal people. Why I never drink enough water. I never take care of my body like others do. I abandon myself. The self-pity has turned into self-destructive behavior. And I have begun to recognize this only recently. I am glad that I have begun to face the inner shadows in me, those that are holding me back. I have realized that I neglect myself because I don't like myself even if others like me. I don't take myself for granted though, or maybe I do, it's so psychologically complex, it's hard to figure out. But at least I have realized that I am messed up in my head and my emotions are messed up. That itself is the first stage in solving problems. I need to start from this awareness that my thinking is wrong. I need to undo those unconscious patterns. Thank You for helping me

Oh, you mean something like GOD CONSCIOUSNESS.

Ok..

Which ocean ? What does it represent ?

What's the difference between samadhi and enlightenment

And is suffering natural.

Thank You. I will do it.

So this means that a person will experience freedom and bliss while his body continues to degenerate physically and there is no actual recovery from the specific health problems but a disconnection from the experience of pain. But this apparently looks similar to drinking your problems away but not actually eradicating or solving them. The problems continue to remain or even get worse. But the experience changes. How does this bring real benefits

So this means that a person will experience freedom and bliss while his body continues to degenerate physically and there is no actual recovery from the specific health problems but a disconnection from the experience of pain. But this apparently looks similar to drinking your problems away but not actually eradicating or solving them. The problems continue to remain or even get worse. But the experience changes. How does this bring real benefits.

Maybe I will start with jogging. I am not sure if I can do those cardio workouts. They look tough to me. So I might have to start with something simple.

Thanks. I will do

Then what is the solution to suffering

Are health problems solved after samadhi

I didn't get. You mean to say that there is no benefit or relief from suffering even for those who meditate for many years.

19

Let's say a person has a severe health issue. Let's say his organs aren't functioning properly, and he meditates everyday for long hours and he achieves samadhi. If he develops strong psychic powers, how is that going to help him with his health problems. How can he reduce his suffering and pain. How does meditation benefit him.

But I don't feel motivated.

Yeah I do. But I don't do any exercise.

Thank You so much. I will do this .

Emotional issues. Emotional healing from childhood issues that happened and Hyper sensitive personality. I get offended very easily and find it difficult to feel strong. And lack of motivation and focus resulting in self-sabotage. It's a chain reaction sort of a thing.

I did a lot of this...in different ways. I don't have cuts but I did other things. I sometimes went on a fast for days so that I could die, and I lost a lot of weight and collapsed many times. I oded ...I overdosed on pills last year..After taking the pills I was taken to the E.r where after a week I had tremendous blood loss. And the effect continued. The side reactions fucked up my periods and I started getting heavy periods and I bled heavy during each period. I still get lot of blood loss during my periods. So you see how dangerous things can get. I was taken to psychologists but I gave up because it didn't help. I am pretty much fucked up because of all that. My brain is fucked up because of what I did. Now I suffer. Once I did bang my head on the wall and it was pretty bad... Solution. I just try to flow with life. People like me need tremendous emotional support but I won't get it. And I know that.. but I try to manage somehow, anyhow. It's tough with your emotions always fluctuating so much. I have suffered depression, massive....... It's hard. All I try to do now is love myself more. This forum has helped a lot to serve as distraction. I also love the butterfly project. That means, you have to just draw a butterfly on the spot where you get a tremendous urge to cut. I do that sometimes especially when I am in the bathroom. Sitting on the bathroom floor helps a lot. Sometimes I bend over on the sink and start crying and sobbing for hours. It's a release mechanism. But don't do too much or else, you end up feeling very weak and drained. Crying is also a release technique but should not be overdone. The best thing that helped me avoid going into a depressive episode was to tuck under the blanket(more sheets if you want ) bury my head under the pillow and keep silent or start humming for some time to take my mind off of whatever is causing the pain. Sometimes when I cry I suddenly stop crying and begin to feel better. I don't know why that happens. I couldn't talk about all this to my parents or friends, too embarrassed to do that. I have difficulties opening up. So I keep to myself. Don't listen to heavy metal especially when you are emotional. I did that during the early stages and I used to get head zaps and collapses due to extreme stress brought on by the emotional music. Try not to be very emotional...emotions fuck up a lot...just a lot...emotions play games with our heads. These days I watch comic flicks, videos on YouTube and sometimes spending time on the forum serves as distraction. Distraction is a very important technique as well. Worked for me. Other thing is going out for a walk, especially just before the urge starts. Huge stress buster. I also drawing, sketching and scribbling... draw a line first. Then draw a connecting line. Then make it like a branched tree... keep drawing different combinations of lines and dots.. helped me to calm down. Other thing is mantra meditation...I say "love" and then breathe in and then say "over" while breathing out. Listen to happy songs. Please don't listen to sad songs although the emotion urges you to listen to sad music but your emotions are just playing with your mind, don't give in to them when you are most vulnerable... Good luck..take care. (If I have more suggestions, I'll continue posting here.)

I want to be able to do it.

Socrates is a Dumpster Diver! he digs through heaps of trash to separate the trash from the recyclables.