Loreena

@Prabhaker And I'm your "Babe"

.. Got a long love letter from Prabby.

@Prabhaker I love u

Let him kill me. To die for love is better than living without it.

Nah nah nah... I'll die without you.

@Martin123 Inner healing Day

Thank you so much for your consideration. There had been a lot of issues going on in my life with relationships and family. I'm recovering well now. I've decided to just focus on myself and take all that other stuff as either distractions/challenges. This is helping me.

I am just too depressed..I have reached such a low that I almost lost my voice. I don't think I will ever be the same again. I lost my shit.....and no backup.

@The White Belt hmmmm. Tough question. I've some reservations here. This is where I was talking about how to be a strategic motherfucker. I never use the all or none principle. I want to be a strategic motherfucker. So I want to be in the grey part of everything. Neither black nor white. To me maximum productivity goes with optimization. So saving energy is just as important as spending energy. So you can't give yourself to everything all at once. You need to prioritize, have a strategy in place, manage a bit, learn management skills, skip stuff that's unimportant. This is like playing a chess game. For me the term hard worker doesn't make much sense. I would replace it with smart worker. If you're really not interested in your coffee job, there's no point in working hard because there is no real payoff doing something that is not worth the hard work you put in. But I wouldn't suggest you should deliberately suck at it because you can't justify not following work ethic at your job. So You need to find a balance. Check the payoff. You may be putting in substantial effort in your self-actualization but that appears a lot in your eyes and not in someone else's. I mean for another person it may appear very little. So It's a matter of perspectives. Coming to the final part of the question, finding your life purpose will help you know what you're really passionate about. Becoming a better version of yourself is actually a part of self improvement, self development and not necessarily life purpose. First work on yourself. You're the biggest baddest hardest project. Once you cross that level, other things fall into place.

Ha. This is the link

Do self-inquiry. Self observation. Increase your awareness level with meditation. Like Leo said, you're just 1mm into the surface. You aren't there yet. You have to get deeper before you can think of enlightenment. There's so much to explore through meditation and other techniques. This forum will be useful to you. You'll find a lot of techniques here. Read my thread about high consciousness. I'll come back with the link in a moment.

Invest in self-awareness and knowledge. What's the hurry for enlightenment! Does it matter right now? I don't think.

We generally remember the bad experiences but forget the good ones.

This is a forum where everyone checks each other out once in a while.

The idealistic dreamer creative imaginative lazy but passionate Pisces me.

I'm your girlfriend and I've checked you out.

Is the mind same as the body. Are they different. How are they different ?

@Prabhaker What is a subtle body ?

Beautiful, elegant, classy, graceful and so polite, Was seeing some of her tweets, video clips and interviews. She is so warm and genuine. Sneak peek :

Lol.....all I can see is only projections projections and only projections and probably some hidden insecurities. My friends have dated guys who make money but who are also awesome in bed and the woman is happy in every way. What makes you think that people can be categorized into such boxes. This is really the height of hypothetical assumptions.. Anything can happen. Be more open to possibilities. There are all kinds of permutations and combinations and they have multi-dimensional personalities. If I reject the first guy, and If I stay sad thinking he is not romantic I'm not being very appreciative of how much he is doing for me. If I'm only thinking about my happiness alone, I'm being selfish and not being considerate to him. In other words instead of measuring him, I probably need to focus on how I can be a good wife to me. Marriage is not just about needs. It's also about love. If I love him, I will stay true to him and even happy with him, knowing he cares for me and always trying his best to be a good husband. Not appreciating my husband is being negative and squandering that which is good. Attraction is not the only factor. They are many people who fall in love out of lust and they cuddle for the first few days and forget the cuddling later because it was just passion that brought them together just the initial spark that set things off but they never realize that they were not fully committed to each other. That's why elders talk more about wisdom than lust. A lot of young girls and boys make this mistake of just randomly falling in love and even falling out of it later. We are humans. We need affection and care just like animals and pets. Our bodies are not equipped to constant ups and downs and setbacks and relationships and frequent divorces, it's all fun in the beginning but after a while you get tired of the drama and baggage. As we grow older, we need better and more stable partners with whom we can grow old happy together but not on off, on off, on off constant relationship drama and then finally off. This is what usually happens with the "Romeos" you are describing. But once again, just like you, I might be projecting as well. To think that the first guy will not care for his wife or will not be romantic in bed is simply very short-sighted. It's also very negative. It's like saying a nerd will never be able to make his wife happy or a fat not so good looking wife/woman (not trying to be disparaging here, so apologizing in advance) will never be able to make her husband happy because he doesn't find her attractive. No, Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I have a woman who stays in a nearby apartment who is almost obese but young, and her husband loves her so much. He is a businessman, he is wealthy and successful and both live happily and love each other so much. Because they love each other and that's what matters and not public perception. He is a very handsome guy but he never looks at other attractive young girls. Why ? Because he loves his wife and kids dearly. There are other women who are married to just your average nerdy looking unattractive guys but those women are not pretending to be happy, they're really happy. And they are other young couples who are sexy and hot and look good together but fight non-stop and act childish. So it's really about individual experiences. That's why dating preferences should never be questioned. People should choose what suits them best and not what society thinks is good for them. That's just public perception that a couple that looks like Jolie-Pitt will always be happy. Erroneous. This idea that a guy should be hot and romantic in bed for a girl to be happy and how chemistry is everything is not really your fault, It's conditioned and implanted in your mind by Hollywood crap like Titanic of idealistic love, teenagey sparks and chemistry that is very exciting and sizzling at first and then simmers down and you get a rude shock when reality hits hard. If a wife complains that she needs to go to the doctor, the husband doesn't have the money, the bickering begins, the husband instead of trying to be patient and solving her problems starts blaming and bitching, both start bitching and they drift apart because their relationship was solely based on chemistry but lacked patience, understanding and maturity. A matured husband will always take care of his wife instead of trying to test her patience by playing silly games with her. A matured wife will understand that her husband is busy and he has work to do and she should not disturb him and ruin his work and career over silly demands. That's how a marriage works. It works on patience and compromise, not on testing each other's love. And anyone can be happy if they choose to be happy. If you are in love, you'll be happy only if that love is true on both sides. So I can be happy with an unattractive boring guy because I love him and a young handsome guy can be happy with a not-so-good-looking girl because he likes her heart more than her body. It's about what you admire in the other person. Now I'll be a little frank about myself here just to offer an example. You might be thinking I'll fall in love with someone handsome romantic, tall and great in bed....and so on. The truth is I've fallen in love with such a guy. Our relationship lasted only for a few months.He was rich, handsome, popular and a good catch by society standards. Our chemistry was brilliant but it faded after a while. I loved him to death. I was my first love. But his uncaring behavior caused the rift. He never wanted to do anything to make the relationship work. I didn't ask for money or gifts and never took any, not even on my birthday. But there are basic expectations of care and understanding. He never bothered to call even when I was ill. No caring. No responsibility. So what's the use. I grew tired of his frequent " indifference" and his interest only in my body and sex. He liked me. He found me attractive but he was only interested in sex. There was chemistry, really hot chemistry, the sex was good, but I was left tired and deprived because there was no care. In other words he was just using me but not really loving me. I dumped him when it became a little too much, he asked for forgiveness but I never went back and I'm very glad for that. You know what is the result of this, I never find any handsome looking guy attractive. The first guy burned a hole in me. I don't like romantic guys anymore ( maybe this is projection), I don't wish to be their "sex toy" for them to play and use. So it's not how you think. Chemistry is not the only thing. Now I find other guys attractive. The ones that I never found attractive before. The matured, nerdy, grounded types. Because they're responsible and caring even if they're unattractive and boring. I have huge respect for them because they truly respect and love a woman, not just fuck and dump them. They maybe rich or poor, but mostly they are successful and hard working, the only drawback is I can't have a strong sexual chemistry with them but that's fine with me because I've already experienced what sexual chemistry did to me. It did no good. A few days of roses and songs and kisses and then tears. So coming to the wealth and money thing. Well I'm never suggesting to marry only the wealthy ones. That does not guarantee happiness either. ( I was with a wealthy guy. I wasn't happy, ) But it's always a secure financial blanket that's all. A guy with a decent income is just as fine. Wanting too much wealth can indicate greed. But again one can never tell if someone married only for money or for both love and money. It's just speculation and projection. To each his own. You should choose what suits best as per your feelings. Choose that which makes you happy. Fuck social perceptions.

Silence is the best language

LOL....very basic answer. Expected a little more from an old guy,

I like the word/term Kotodama..japanese Kotodama = word spirit, A belief that divine power/spirit resides in a word and words can be magical.

@Prabhaker Btw, I've started watching a lot of Osho's stuff and I like it. Makes a lot of sense. Thank you.

I didn't read through everything but you made some really good points. Will read it again later.