MsNobody

@OBEler That makes sense, I think it's easier for us to let go of control, Eckhart Tolle says women have less ego than men in one of this books, we are more oriented towards community and the whole. I also didn't break through tho, I think my ego is very strong, at some point I was super scared to higher the dose with 5meo cause I had done 5 times and was up to 4o and still I was extremely resistant to it, my ego may be way too strong lol I even went to a lecture with Martin Ball and he recommended me Salvia, to break me open and make me more susceptible to 5meo. I think it goes way deeper, I just scratched the surface, I just dont have the courage now, it was so mindfucking at the time.

@OBEler I don't know if that would be the best approach, most addictions come from a lack of connection and self love. Exposing it would just make him feel more shame which would make things worse. Or maybe Im just thinking with a woman's mind. Its a delicate situation, really sad. I think we all can relate with self destructive patterns, it's so normalized in society nowadays. And also we are all addicts lol it's just that some of us have good addictions.

Bringing this back!

Just found this, its been 6 years since those 5meo trips, time to trip again lol

@OBEler I think when I got in the spiritual path my idea of awakening was becoming a nicer person, peaceful, more sweet etc. I'm still very heart centered but Im kind of an asshole now and it came after that specific trip. I think after years of being a people pleaser and growing in a repressed culture my authentic self just came out of me bursting out and breaking things, 5meo unclogs the pipe, all the fakery fades away, there is only raw pure energy passing through the vessel, everything we are not is carried away with the current, I called it sacred fuck it, it gave me freedom to fully express myself, and myself was not the way I had idealized so the difficulties were because of that. The biggest realization, of extreme loneliness, of god playing with god, was very depressing at the time but after integration was what changed me the most, to live from inside out, and not from outside in, before I would tend a lot to the people around me. Like when Im having a high dose of mushrooms, I dont want anyone watching me, cause they will most likely want to bring me to the hospital or think Im going insane.. lol but if Im by myself I know how to handle things, 5meo helped me notice that I spent a lot of time of my life trying to attend and tend to the external things instead of actually living it. But if there isn't anyone else but me, why would care about how people are seeing my experience of reality? I think 5meo helped me immerse myself into my own experience, to live from inside out, first I check with myself, the world comes later. Before I would be like, "oh pay no attention to the mess, oh sorry Im like this because Im under construction, oh it's ugly here because the house is being renovated" (the house being my own experience), now Im incorporating more of my shadow and not expecting it to be nice, or beautiful, Im more accepting of my raw authentic energy that wants to express itself. I had so many judgements (still do) about this authentic energy, it's basically shadow work, God encompasses everything and wants to express itself the way it wants, the beautiful and the ugly, and the pipe gets clogged when we just want to be love and light. I think I understand other people better because of that too, from accepting myself daily, it's been a wild ride, Im not an easy person to deal with and I don't have many filters, Im intense and the work after that experience has just been to let the current of raw energy pass through me, without picking one or the other, to anchor authenticity, I think its our goal here, but we are trapped in copy and paste/monkey see monkey do/groupthink/blending in because of survival. It feels good to write that cause Im still trying to integrate that experience, it was a complete mindfuck at the time, only now Im able to fully appreciate how much more of myself Im able to anchor in this reality. English is not my first language I hope it was not confusing. You've tried 5meo right? Would be curious to hear your insights on solipsism.

This is such a precious talk thank you. Solipsism is one of the best feelings and also one of the worst feelings, it came to me in a 5meo trip and I wish there were more videos about it to help integrate, at the time it was so disorienting and it thought I was insane, it took me some time to get back on my feet but looking back now it was what cracked the egg open. I felt like my reality was a doll house, I remember next day putting gas in the car and being hit with the realization that my apartment ceased to exist when I left home. Whenever I smoked weed after the experience my visual field would change and it seemed like everything was made of plastic, my room sometimes it was like a perspective drawing, I was truman showed very hard haha It's extreme loneliness and extreme freedom, we think we want freedom but true freedom is sooo scary. I let go of so many layers of old mes at the time. I miss the feeling, there was another 5meo trip that a guy here from the forum tripsat me and coming back out of the experience I looked at him and I didnt want to talk, cause I knew that as soon as I spoke division would happen because of language, and I saw that there was only one person in the room, there wasnt me and him, I was him and he was me.

Yeah the conclusion after reading all comments is a no no. Leo made me undatable lol Another issue is that conservative men are highly scared of psychedelics, which is a tool I use frequently in life, most of them are not only close minded when it comes to using it but also of having a partner using it.

Thank you everyone for the responses, it really helped me

That doesn’t respond my question but thank you for your input

can we bring this back? Is anyone organizing the trip reports here on the forum, loved reading them a while back!

@Leo Gura when is the course coming outttt

@Leo Gura any updates on those videos?

@How to be wise she has fillers in her lips, cheeks and chin, and also rhinoplasty, if you look at the first videos her face was more round/oval, there are old pics of her, she was never ugly, but still she is trying to get better. We women can notice easily, I've done it myself once so I know how to recognize, it doesnt mean she is bad, its just that she has reached a point of lots of money, her daily life is all about herself and self care, doing mascaras for her skin, laser procedures, buying expensive purses etc (she shows this on her channel and IG) and teaching people how to love themselves is kind of tricky in this position, she is a stage orange woman, so people think that to love themselves is to live in luxury, wrong motivation I guess. For each their own, I try to be away from women like her.

I watched some of her videos, its good stuff. Then I started following her on IG and saw that she takes her cats out in a stroller. That is where I draw the line lol Also she posted a video once of her feeding street cats, little weird, juts feed the damn cats why would you post it? I mean its her thing, she loves herself a lot and also loves cats, cause its easier to love cats than it is to love humans. Another detail that makes me think: people who have a lot of procedures in their face talking about self help/ self esteem is kind of fishy.

He also kept repeating "and all this can be proven by science" that says a lot about him and the public he is trying to target

@Leo Gura the comment section is insane. Everyone treating Tom like he is a God, they swallowed his TOE like a vitamin pill lol

@Dazgwny also didn’t get my attention, stopped at min 50, what happened?! lol I was so excited to watch it.

Finally! Watching now niw we are waiting for leo there

@BlackPhil to see the value of the Spiral Dynamics model you need to have some yellow in you, otherwise you will judge it as useless.

Maybe if you have studied yourself thoroughly instead you would get to Truth So much evil in the world because people are lazy to think for themselves.

Because porn stars are dissociated from their bodies, the more anchored you are in the body the more sensitive you are. They are so desensitized and numb that they need violence to feel something, both the people who create and the ones watching. Also some people watch so much porn that they get accustomed to normal porn, the dopamine system ir already burnt, they need way more to get horny and feel aroused, so violent sex, rape sex, sex with animals and children come in. They just want to feel something, like a drug addict that needs a bigger dose cause they built tolerance.

A little shocked with those videos but she does have a lot of good points, decided to create this thread to balance it out the lack of advice here in the forum for women. I have a close friend who went through a divorce recently, his (now ex) wife left him for a sugar daddy and he is devastated, her IG is that of a sugar baby of course, all the purses brands etc, he used to give her really expensive stuff 10k bracelets, put implants fixed her nose, and she still left him for someone with more money. He always vents to me and recently said he is unhappy with his job because since he doesn’t have a woman his desire to make money (to be a provider) diminished. I know men get off of being a provider, but didn’t know the depth of it. I’ve been meeting so many provider men after dating so many takers. Just got me thinking, are we not asking enough of men?! Would prefer this thread to be a women’s discussion but all are welcome to join ☺️

I feel seen, thank you! Yes I do have codependent issues. I will definitely check them out, it’s gotten better throughout the years, I’ve read many books about it and even went to meetings at CoDa codependent anonymous, it’s generational trauma, I don’t watch many other channels besides Leo and Matt Kahn, if I look deeply Matt Kahn videos are doing more damage than helping, cause I become more compassionate which just deepens the codependent pattern. What I do like about her content is exactly how extreme it is, it becomes easier and more simple to find what the next steps are, for example the strict boundaries one, it doesn’t mean that I’ll exploit men, but it does help to understand better the motives behind why men behave the way they behave, while spiritual teachers go round and round and it’s not very practical. The codependent patterns in the women of my family are so deep that thinking now that I’m talking about it, I’ve been underestimating how difficult it is to break them in all my years of personal development, I was raised in Brazil in the countryside so very much stage blue, and like you said we are domesticated to be this way as women.

Of course, learned with you