MsNobody

So, I've been having this "sensation" or "feeling" of highness, it's like Im lighter, higher, calmer, I dont know how to explain but its really strong when I feel it, for the past 18 months, sometimes it happens several times in the day and sometimes none. This week I went to a psychic and he told me I have mediumship, that this sensation I feel its like a battery being charged within me, and that I can use it in my life or to help others, my aunt back in Brazil is a shaman and she also has mediumship, she used to received messages from the dead, In brazil we have something called Spiritism, it's like a religion and below is the definition. In What Is Spiritism?, Kardec calls spiritism a science dedicated to the relationship between incorporeal beings (spirits) and human beings. Thus, some spiritists see themselves as not adhering to a religion, but to a philosophical doctrine with a scientific fulcrum and moral grounds. Also the definition of Mediumship Mediumship is the practice of certain people—known as mediums—to purportedly mediate communication between spirits of the dead and living human beings. There are different types of mediumship, including spirit channeling and ouija. He said when I feel the sensation is when the spirit guides are around me, and I've noticed that whenever someone around me is overloaded with emotions, is going through something really difficult I feel high, for example two days ago at work, I started feeling high, and it was really strong, I was just paying attention, 10 seconds after I realized my coworker who seats by my side was on a call receiving the message that her uncle just had died. I currently work as an architect, I like to draw and be creative so since child my family (that was mostly thinking about money) put in my mind that I would be a good architect, but it happens that architecture doesnt feed my soul, I'm really interested about the human mind and spirituality in general, and in the last two years had studieda lot about it. I asked the psychic about my career and his answer was: "Why do you ask me something you already know?" and I started crying for no reason, so my guess would be that in the future I will be working with this mediumship, and I'm here to ask for help to which path to follow, my options this moment are Spiritism or Wicca, my aunt and sister are Spiritists, but what I dont like about it is that they follow the work of Alan Kardec, which is based in the story of Christ, I try to avoid religions to keep my mind open, I prefer to think about the universe in other way than through the history of Christ, Wicca for me sounds more plausible because I feel like they go straight to the point, when they talk about the universe being a web where we are all connected, when talking about how the 5 elements water fire earth air spirit, It's much easier for me to understand. Also I dont know if this interest for Wicca could be something that my ego has been wanting, like wow look I'm a witch, I know sounds funny but I'm considering all the possibilities here.. I am open to hear what you guys think. Thank you, thank you, thank you

@Barna@JustinS @Gabriel Antonio @Dizzy halp guys

@SelfHelpGuy I think the idea behind an open relationship is give the other person unconditional love, that's where you know if you really love her/him, cause if someone else makes her/him happy, in your case, another guys, who are you to tell her that that happiness is not allowed? Also to get rid of the attachment thing, an open relationship is based on love, while most of the "closed" relationships is based on fear, fear of losing, so yes an open relationship is a good exercise for the ego, for practicing dettachment, also I've realized in the relationship I self fed myself, I needed to give myself love (what makes total sense) I was not depending on someone to give it to me, and this made me grow a lot! ike Elisabeth said I think its a pretty new relationship, and I agree on the sexual partner thing, Im the woman and my partner seems to be less interested in the sex part, more interested in the connection with others etc, while me I think I'm interested in both, I've been in an open relationship for a while, the last 5 months we tried to close the relationship and we ended up breaking up, very interesting how this thing work, after you experience it, its hard to go back to the old mind of closed relationships, I thought the most challenge part would be thinking about him fucking others but deep inside my biggest fear is that he connects with someone else in a soul level, or he finds a girl that makes him laugh etc.. very silly. I actually commented on the post to listen to what you guys have to say about open relationships, how the experience had helped you guys in your journey? What are the pros and cons? Or just your opinion in general about the subject @Elisabeth @Paulus Amadeus Thanks!!

If you could recommend me one author I have your book list Joe dispenza focus on reprogramming the subconscious mind, I know he is a business guy but at least he has meditations, workshops and this stuff available, which makes it easier to apply in my daily life and to be consistent

Worth watching ???

I know meditation is the best way but I would like to know another practices that help with opening the heart chakra, Im a right brain but sometimes I get caught in the crazy spiral of my mind, and when Im in my heart I feel much better, patient with life, crying for all little things and grateful. When I'm in my mind, things are PRETTY different.. That's my theory about how I've been functioning, I can be wrong so Im also open to ideas and opinions Thank you and have a great Fridaaaay

@Deep @starsofclay @Quanty That was really helful, thank you!!

In the end of his life yes, I also read in a book that he used to be upside down until loses consciousness to have his “visions” and although he said “I don’t do drugs I’m drugs” I’m not sure he explored psychedelics a lot and I don’t think it was the main source of his inspiration, but it could be, who knows? Maybe I just like the romantic part of it all and he was indeed a passionate person. “Dali would sit in a chair holding the spoon above the plate and doze off. As he fell asleep, the spoon would drop onto the plate, making a noise that woke him in time to jot down the surreal images he saw in his dreams. Other times, Dali would stand on his head until he almost passed out, allowing him to become semi-lucid.” That’s from the internet

@okulele Salvador Dali used to say his inspiration was from sexual energy and his wife. My inspiration for my art I can say the same, from sexual energy mostly, what Napoleon Hill says makes total sense to me, if learned how to transmute this energy it can be used for art, for motivation etc That’s one of his quotes “It may be controversial contention, but sexual energy is the creative energy of virtually all geniuses. There never has been and never will be a great leader, builder, or artist lacking in this driving force of sex. Destroy the sex glands; whether in a human being or a beast, and you have removed a major source of action.” Our bodies are here basically for reproduction, life force/ sexual energy is what keep us moving, and if used well can help us a lot Such an interesting subject

Some quotes from The book of not knowing

@Tony Tellez I realized those days I was kind of depressed and was coincidently listening to sad songs, not sad but “ugly” lyrics, so I shifted to some uplifting music, “happy” lyrics, it made all the difference. I also have a question for you guys: people do affirmations to change their subconscious mind or mantras etc, if we keep singing/ listening sad songs or with bad stuff, how this mantra (aka Music) is gonna impact ourselves? Our minds etc.. I like Linkin Park too, but I’ve decided to listen to Pink Floyd now ? Tool and Anathema are good ones too IMO

That’s awesome, Bay Area and LA I’m in and probably will bring two friends who also watch you! Omg I’m gonna meet Leoooo ?

I’m sorry you are going through that, I had the same problem a while ago, my cramps were so bad that once I was walking in the street and I had to sit in the sidewalk cause I couldn’t walk, but exercising helps me a lot, when I can I exercise even in my period, but the secret was to exercise the weeks before my period comes, that phase you just described where you feel awesome, I found out when I’m ovulating I feel attractive , beautiful and in a super good mood, so I use this time to do a lot of cardio (or like people said yoga) and make my body generate the happy hormones to keep me safe in my pms phase, otherwise I would literally kill someone (or myself) ? Some months when I do not exercise I have crazy pms, back pain, cramps, migraine, my knees hurt and I feel like shit.. hope I could help you, sending you love ???? And thanks for bringing up the subject, I haven’t heard about maca and some other things people are suggesting here

@Leo Gura @DrMobius Haha first of all Im jealous, maximum boyfriends gave me was sex and flowers.. never toad venom, it’s getting hard to find a guy out there with your no-depth mind as an example Leo ? And Dr, I snorted 5meo twice, the first time was 15mg quite pleasant, second time 27mg was a bit hellish because I didn’t surrender/ broke through and that’s why I have not worked with it since then, @Barna recommended me to restart slow and build my way up, so my advice would be, go slow to go further, even tho I had learned the lesson the hard way ?

I think someone explained at some point in this topic but it’s a long thread ? let me know if you succeed cause I’m thinking about converting mine too! thanks

Since I started running in the road less traveled (I say running cause things have been changing in the speed of light) I dont know who I am anymore and the last time I counted I had around 57 personalities within my body, life is pretty crazy and amazing right now. The decision - I knew I would have some weeks off of vacation and had the brilliant idea of doing a Vipassana retreat, after reading a comment from Leo. I love challenging myself and exploring my mind, so I was as excited as my trip to Cancun last year, it’s fascinating how my interests changed, psychedelics, meditation retreats, workshops, books, are far more interesting than any other stuff I used to do. So it was like I was going to another country, to experience new things, I had THAT excitment because since I moved to US (I’m from Brazil) my plan was travelling the world, but happily (after taking mdma) I found out I have billions of continents inside my head and the whole universe to explore within me, I decided to calm the fuck down to handle the mind breaking experiences I’ve been having in the consciousness terrains. I packed my bag and woooow it was the first time my ego was not coming with me, my clothes were all baggy, comfortable pants, simple shirts, nothing else, naked soul. On my way there I started to realize what I was doing and kept repeating to myself “the fuck did I do with my precious vacation?“ my friend said: abort this mission and lets go somewhere else, but I knew myself pretty well, I’m going all the way in, I may lose my body or my soul in the process but I feel like something inside me hungers for knowing a little bit more of the unknown. First day.. I will jump right to the end of it cause after getting there the only thing I could think was how to get out of there haha I fantasized so much crossing the gates.. I was freaking out, so I went to my tent, the whole torture started for my ego, reaaaaaaally challenging stuff, they nicely put me in a tent in the fucking top of the mountain far from everyone, but as we say in Brazil, once you are in the rain, embrace the wetness, I usually sleep pretty late, and there I was 8:30pm, me, the crickets, deers, and all the insects and animals my ears were capable of listening in the pitch black darkness, I understood deeply when people say that when you shut one of the senses down the others are far more accurate, I was listening like a blind person, and whenever an animal approached the tent my spine and sometimes whole body would get goosebumps all over, I guess is an instinct thing, my body was in alert mode, saying: animals around!! animals around!! wake the fuck up, and that was how I slept the 12 nights, I actually barely slept cause the meditations would give me a lot of energy, and I wasn’t moving my body enough so it was haaard, I love exercising, that part was pretty challenging too, the do nothing part. Also it was full moon, I usually dont sleep well when the moon is full, so the last day I slept 2 hours and I realized animals are louder in the full moon.. I'm complaining now but I loved the experience The retreat Routine, the bell rings 4am, I wake up and drag my body like a zombie to the meditation hall, those two hours of meditation in the morning I never knew how efficient it was, since I was half asleep, my guesses are that I was losing consciousness, in a deep meditative state, or the most likely I was just sleeping haha The meditations overall were good, but I must confess I had a huge problem with the technique cause I needed to focus on my nose and breathing, I have allergies so I would sneeze all the time, I decided secretly do the do nothing technique, sometimes I would use their technique but in the first day my mind was already refusing to do the same thing over and over again, and I started an interesting journey where I was creating meditation techniques, I was mixing everything I knew, concentration, counting, self inquiry, repetition of words, I can not say how are the results of the retreat because I was not able to use their technique the whole time I know my bad, but I did what I could with what I had, maybe my results/insights would be much better if I could control my mind to do what they were saying, I was really creative so my mind was in creation mode, it was like I was receiving pure raw energy from the universe and I needed to use it as soon as possible, I love drawing so I had crazy ideas and I would get really lost in this wandering part, even goals I have in life, I would start creating stuff out of nowhere, pretty interesting, I guess the next one will be easier, also I need to meditate longer daily to prepare my mind to long hours of sitting. I wont describe everyday cause as you must know there was not excitement at all, the most exciting day was the day I hand washed my underwear and put them to dry in the clothesline, I haven’t done that in years, so drying my clothes in the sun just felt weirdly awesome haha I’m gonna cite some of my insights and feelings about it: Judgments all over the place - I fucking judge the shit out of people, those 10 days I judged every single person in the retreat, I created them in my mind like I imagined them to be, it was as I already knew them, the ones who smiled were nice people, the serious ones were evils, its incredible how we judge, without people even open their mouths, in the last day, that we were free to talk my ego was slapped in the face 70 times, that was the number of people there, everybody was so nice and I imagined them evils, so I realized that all the evilness I saw in them is what I have inside myself, my judgments, all my creation, big lesson. “We dont see things as they are, we see them as we are.” dont know who said that but so true The day I loved Trump unconditionally - I reached some deep states of meditation, the 6th day it was the worst day, I was almost doing cartwheels to take out the energy out of my body, but it was also the day I went deeper, again I was not using their technique, but I knew the root of most of my problems comes from lack of self love so I had this idea to imagine myself kissing my whole body, from top to bottom, when I got to my toes something shifted within myself, I started loving every fucking thing in that room, people, objects and specially myself, it was unconditional infinite love, to make sure I was really experiencing that I thought about Trump, and there I was loving trump unconditionally, I loved the cushions, the floor, the people, and a feeling of gratitude for being there, and I loved myself, soooooo much, I couldn’t explain that, I didnt want to move, I could barely feel my body, then I understood Buddah and all the people who meditates for long periods of time, that was pure bliss, I had to get up cause they had a discourse, the feeling stayed with me until I wen to bed/tent, it was fading away fast. I will never forget that, it was like I was on mdma but naturally, I got what I wanted, that little glimpse just showed me I’m on the right path and I’ll keep going. I also had some psychedelic visions and feelings, it was a whole big trip. One day I went really deep doing self inquiry, its so interesting how the body/ mind reacts with the simple question: WHO AM I? one of the sessions I went so deep that it was like I was in a rollercoaster, I will be doing much more self inquiry from now on. Pain - Pain - Pain - I experienced some weird feelings in my body, one day my spine was burning so much that I got up to touch it because for me it was on fire, I wont talk about their technique, but basically we would scan our bodies looking for sensations, the pain in my body would go from my knees, my butt, back and everywhere, the sessions of strong determination sitting were where I saw more results, my pain was in its peak so when I focused on the center of the pain I would have feelings of body expansion, or like my body was swollen, really really big, and I would feel lighter afterwards, I had peak experiences almost everyday, what happened was in the beginning of the day I would think about giving up and going home but my last sitting of the day I would reach a deep state and was invigorated and excited for the next day, that was how I survived, also whenever I closed my eyes in the last days it was like my body was doing the thing by itself, I just needed to stay still and relax, it became easier but at the same time challenging, really special days. Openmindedness/ Vipassana retreats may save marriages- well I cant talk for others but my mind (since I couldnt move and was kind of forced to be still) was all over the place, my brazilian monkey mind was crossing Amazon, I thought about the most wild things, especially sexual desires, I didnt feel like masturbating (although I did twice just from boredom and to take energy out of my body) but I had naughty thoughts about everyone, it was like my ego was punishing me to put him in a jail for a while, the 4th or 5th day I decided I wanted to get 5 more tattoos, buy a motorcycle, have a threesome, have sex with a girl, be more honest (like radical honesty), be wilder, try an open relationship, learn tantric sex, awaken my divine feminine, explore and master sex, take more risks, start a youtube channel, read more books, meet more open minded people, be a stripper for a while, do more psychedelics, and the list goes on and on, I was raw and ready to explore the world, and live my full potential, I havent talked about it with other people but I guess it was a big mind opener for me, I’ve been working a lot in my openmindedness so it could also be that. I thought I would come back a monk but it happened the contrary, I’m actually afraid of myself now, I’m super happy and really motivated to reach my goals in life, to keep going with my career, thrive and give my contribution to the world. I imagine what the retreat did with other people, but I guess it can totally save marriages We trip balls without technology - since we didnt have our phones, people were rolling in the grass, hugging and kissing trees, smelling flowers, playing with rocks, connecting deeply with insects, amazed by silly things. Seriously, imagine kids in nature, adults without cellphones are that, literally, I’ve never seen something like that before, interesting how human beings acts in nature without interacting with other human beings and without technology. Becoming vegeterian - In the rules is written “fast is not permitted’ but man we were all fasting haha I lost a couple pounds and the first days I was starving, after lunch 11am we would only have a tea with fruits, anyway my body got used to it easily since I wasn’t exercising. The food is awesome, all vegetarian, and it was interesting, I could feel the energy of the food, Im a carnivorous person but I felt pretty good and after coming back I ate meat only twice, I’m planning to stick with the habit, great experience. Met an escort/ Networking - I met all kinds of people you can imagine, from monks to escorts, all the people were really nice, and reaaally interesting, two of the most interesting ones had a big and huge spiritual ego, I proved my theory that when we start this spiritual path, the things we learn, our ego uses it for evilness if we fall in the ego traps, but focusing in the nice people, there was one girl there that I could totally feel her energy, it was like my soul was being pulled when she talked, like she was brighter than other people, really interesting, I also sucked the mind of the escort girl haha I was really interested about her life, the last night we sat and talked for two hours, she is soooo nice, and cute, and pretty, 9 months ago I would just run away from her with all my judgments, but thanks to Leo my mind is wide open and I could absorb the best things out of that conversation, it was her third vipassna retreat this year, she said she would never be able to handle that life if it wasnt for Vipassana, she is also in an open relationship, it was awesome connecting to her, when she talks I could feel that everything she says comes from her heart, she is super honest and talks freely about everything, I met amazing people, I met one guy who watches Leo too, we were so fucking happy to connect, Leo thank you! I’ve met so many gold people in the forum and out in the world, every person who watches you has that thing, that thirst for improvement and live life fully, we talked about 5MEO, me and 4 other people are planning a mushroom trip close to Alan Watts cabin, the networking was one of the best things in the retreat, it was a big concentration of interesting people. Back to reality - The last days of the retreat I was super motivated but I also had a feeling of wholeness, like I didn’t need anyone or anything, I was complete, so I got back home thinking I would go straight have sex, food, drugs and rocknroll but no, I could fucking hear the SILENCE, I took a bath and the bubbles popping were so overwhelming and annoying, I tried to talk to my sister but my heart started speeding up, I would start sweating, everything was overwhelming and intense, I just wanted calmness, so I sat to meditate, I couldn’t believe I was doing that, my butt was sore from all the sitting in the last days, but I wanted to keep the calmness, I could feel it fading away, it was so hard to get to the state I was at that moment, my soul was asking for the calmness, it felt so comfortable sitting to meditate, still feels good, feels like home. Aftereffects - I’m still able to hear the silence, I can feel my heart beating, I can recognize when I say things from my heart and when is the ego talking, I can feel my connection with people, I realized I’m calmer and my friends are afraid of me cause I’m looking them in the eyes, I can hear the vibration of my emotions, its like a sharp buzzing noise that comes from my heart or whatever, really interesting how I’m aware of my body and highly sensitive, I changed a lot of things in my life, habits, people, I still can/t believe how it changed me, I’m writing this down one week after, things are still overwhelming and real life seems way too busy, how did I live like that my whole life? Fun facts - 1 - I had so much free time that one day a common mosquito sat on my hand, my goodness it was the most amazing mosquito in the world, then I realized that my perception was changed, colors were brighter, everything was more beautiful. 2 - the bells were rang whenever was time to wake up or eat, or go to the meditation hall, so I realized we were like zombies walking around doing nothing and when the bell rang we were all dragging our bodies towards the bell haha 3 - my mind was highly creative, I needed a pen so much to write stuff down, one day I went to talk to the teacher in the meditation hall and I spotted a pen under her chair, for three days I planned how to steal that pen, I ended up behaving myself 4 - There was a woman there with high levels of anxiety, breathing deeply and screaming a bit sometimes, since everybody was so loving and nice, I choose her to be the aim of my hatred, and it got worse one day that they served a cake and she made a hole in the middle of the cake to have her piece, it wasn't a big thing but my ego needed someone to hate and judge haha she was super stressed dropping little actions of unkindness, so I finally had someone to hate, it felt awesome but really bad thing to do, I also realized that if my mom did the retreat she would be exactly like this woman, if not worse, then I felt compassion, and the day I loved Trump unconditionally I included her too. Well that was it, I wrote it more for me but I thought about sharing here for people who want to do Vipassana as well. Its free they work through donation and you can serve in other retreats as well. It was an amazing experience for me, I’m really glad I had the opportunity to do so, next step is gonna be a third 5meo trip, hopefully I’ll breakthrough, life is becoming more and more exciting each day, I’ll come back to write a report if things turn out well.. Thank you for reading!! Much love, Miss Nobody

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The first one is a friends tattoo, Alex grey art with Eckhart Tolle quote “Life is not the opposite of death, the opposite of death is birth, Life is eternal.” Something like that. here is my IG account

http://www.thewrap.com/jim-carrey-tells-us-what-he-meant-in-that-bizarre-viral-interview/ he is explaining about the interview here