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Everything posted by MsNobody

  1. @Strikr I'm not talking about simulation. Yeah, a while ago I would think I'm going crazy but some time walking this path I see that any experience I have will be considered not normal/ paranormal and what is normal nowadays anyway? I was just wondering if someone would relate. @JustinS That's what I was trying to explain, have you felt this? @Aaron p
  2. @Leo Gura That would be a great topic!
  3. that's the actual link, sorry
  4. I'm glad you posted this, I've been so into mantras lately, Gayatri mantra is my favorite of all, it's like I'm giving the monkey mind a job and it leaves me alone, it's easier for me to reach deep states of meditation. I also found this on the internet where Ram Dass talks about his experiences with mantras.. Mahatma Gandhi said, “The mantra becomes one’s staff of life, and carries one through every ordeal. It is no empty repetition. For each repetition has a new meaning, carrying you nearer and nearer to God.” very interesting stuff
  5. Dose: 15mg smoked Female, 28yo, have been actualizing for almost 3 years now, was religious most of my life, then atheist and now a believer of 5-meo hahaha, jokes aside, the experience happened two weeks ago and NO WORDS can describe it, what makes it very hard to write a trip report, but I do want to write because everything I’ve been seeking in the last years were all about this experience, the final destination, the void, the place we came from, the place we go when we die, the end of the world, the beginning of everything, god, the universe, Alah, Deus, higher power, the source, etc. “As above, so below, as within, so without” I smoked the substance and covered my mouth so the smoke couldn't come out, then every time my friend repeated, hold on! hold on! hold on! it was like I was passing a dimension, so many layers of it and so fast that it went on and on until my mind was dissolved into eventual nothingness I literally felt like a river of clear bright water was running through my body carrying all the blockages away, garbage, so many fucking things, social conditioning, traumas, beliefs, drama, so much shit, the more I relaxed and surrended to the experience the more my body was being cleaned, the more I let go the better I felt in my body, to the point my body dissolved into that nothingness and emptiness, and whenever I tried to make sense of the situation, whenever I tried to feel my body it was like I was having a full body orgasm, like every cell of my body was vibrating in that same warm frequency, wasn’t good, bad, strong or weak, it was pure perfection, I felt like my body was being embraced by that loving energy, a hug from god all I start saying from now on will for sure sound like a cult if you've never experienced it, and from this point I strangely started to understand how religion had began, how many people had experienced a glimpse of that energy, this is IT. Like my whole life, everything I’ve lived was just to bring me to that moment, that THING very very special, I’ve tried many psychedelics but this was by far my deepest and most important mystical experience, not close to any meditation or psychedelics I had tried, and I see how 5meo it's known to be the most powerful hallucinogen, actually not even hallucinogen cause it's really a sensation, no visuals or anything. I came back from the trip saying to my trip sitter (that btw is someone I met through the forum) eu, voce, voce, eu, that means I, you, you, me, in Portuguese and my first thought was to stop talking because the more I talked the more I separated myself from others, that oneness, interconnectedness was fading away, it was sad but at the same time I was glad to be back because having that feeling for a long period of time is for sure overwhelming and might be fucking hard, I understand how enlightenment comes with a lot of time, effort, meditation, stillness and understanding, my body and mind the way it's right now would not comport such thing, it's not an easy peasy thing, it's holiness. I apologize for my scarcity of words to describe the trip but most important is what stayed with me and below I try to explain the integration to normal life. Aftermath: My voice sounds much softer now, what made me realize how blocked I was before and how much more blocks can be released, I also was kind of addicted to weed, not addicted but I was smoking it very often, and like Leo says addictions are fear of emptiness, so I was smoking weed instead of facing my daily emptiness, after the trip I lost that necessity of smoking, not saying anything bad about weed, it’s an awesome tool when used properly, like psychedelics. How deep the rabbit hole goes: I have the feeling that I could’ve gone waaay waaaaay deeper, I know infinity has no depth but man, I wonder what this can do to me and my body if I do it often, like once per month, I’ve been preparing myself for this trip for over a year, I’ve snorted twice but didn’t breakthrough now I am very excited for what's to come. Theory DOES NOT DO justice: It’s crazy the amount of books I’ve read about 5meo, psychedelics, spirituality, psychology, personal development, science, and nothing, nothing, nothing I've read would prepare me for that, I had so much theory but 0 experience, I realize the trap now, all the theory if not applied is just mental masturbation, this was such a big thing for me, and I see the trap in religion too, how many people had experience 2% of this energy, this god, and created a whole spiritual ego, also given that 98% of those people have not experienced this oneness and claim the whole righteousness of religion just because of EGO, it's just crazy, my feeling right after the trip was to create a 5meo group haha but then I remembered that religion is this cult hahaah uhhhh so easy to join one of those groups, I'm not gonna go into the religion topic but all I can say is I feel them, I have much more compassion for religious people now, and I see how science is too limited to explain or even prove such thing, so in the religion vs science game, religion for sure embraces much much more of the mysterious, the unexplained unknown that is God. Many paths that end in the same place, many ways to reach the same goal, the trip brought me lots of understanding of how religion works and how people go so far because of it. Oneness: One thing is to say I’m one with all, we are all one, we are all connected and bla bla bla, another thing is to experience and really feel that interconectedness, I have this feeling now, whenever I look at someone, their suffering is my suffering, their happiness is my happiness, I AM them, they are a part of me, and this makes me feel an overload of compassion that I did not have before, we are all in the same roller coaster, all in this dream, every person with their difficulties, ours egos might be fighting but deep inside we are all gods experiencing itself subjectively in different bodies, also because I'm more aware of the role my ego plays I have a different perspective of my relation with people, when someone is being mean or evil, they are just showing me a little bit of what they are going through, what's going on within them, it's never about me like my ego likes to think. BIG BIG BIG joke: Until a couple days ago whenever my mind started fearing something or worrying I would burst laughing, it was kind of spontaneous and involuntary, god laughing through me about how small and insignificant my problems are close to HIM, I would just laugh out of sudden, super weird. It’s fucking crazy, it gave me a sense of “fuck everything” but in a good way, not in the I don’t care about anything, but in the sense of hurry up, live life, let go of fearing and enjoy life however you want, there is no right or wrong way to do so, a sense of freedom, so much freedom, extreme freedom, radical freedom, terrifying freedom, I realized that we are so encapsulated in our little lives, in our egos, in our little bubbles because in the end what we fear is THAT freedom, we don’t know what to do with so much freedom that we create barriers unconsciously not to experience all of it, we allow ourselves sometimes to feel it a little bit but the amount of freedom 5 meo showed me is extremely scary. Wow I also cry when I try to go back to the experience, I'm very sensitive now, also my meditation is much deeper, I sit for meditation and POW I'm right there into the void, swimming in the black hole, what enabled me to meditate even in the sauna, my body burns there for 20 or 30 minutes and my mind is far far away... very interesting. Relaxation: The biggest thing I've learned in the trip, the more I surrender to life (the same way I surrendered to the trip, where I had to let go of everything for the “substance” to work on me) it's just exactly the same with life, the more we relax and trust the universe (or god whatever you wanna call it) the more the energy of universe runs freely within us, and all the suffering we experience is a resistance for that energy, we want to do it our way, our ego wants it in its way, it’s that old saying, we get what we need out of life, not what we want, BUT every time (even if we consider our experiences as a bad) the universe is working to give us the best of the best, in order for us to grow and evolve, not as a person (ego) but as a group, as consciousness, as a whole, like Ram Dass says, the suffering comes from our attachment to what we think life should be, if we just relaxed life would be much much easier, I also thought about a video that he says we create THICK DRAMA out of nothing, I laughed hard, of how much drama I (the ego) is capable of creating, I SO understand that now, how rare that we exist, how beautiful life is, how magical everything can be if we just let go of everything we think we know and opened ourselves up to what the universe has to offer, but our ego wants to know everything, wants to pretend it knows, wants to find a logic, wants to find the right way to live life, wants to make sense of the unkown, wants to live like one has everything figured out hahaha we literally know NOTHING. State of Not Knowing: “Unaccustomed as we are to not knowing, we don’t understand the freedom that awaits us when we experience life beyond our beliefs.” Quote from The book of not knowing, Peter Ralston, that’s what enlightenment is, insanity, accepting uncertainty, so hard for the ego but liberating for the soul. Wow, I thought I could not write but man I could spend hours talking about IT, I’m super happy and feel lucky AF to have had this experienced, I can’t believe we found a toad that enables us to experience such thing, a TOAD, haha of course a toad, it's like a cartoon, we are living the fucking dream, I see all differently now, the sky is just a big screen we watch different channels every day, a dog barked in the neighbor’s house right after the trip, and the fucking dog was literally inside my head, I was creating the dog barking, the dog and everything around me, how fantastic and fascinating creatures we human beings are. PS: I’m deeply deeply deeply thankful for you Leo, I met so many amazing people here, actualizers are my faaaavorite Thank you if you made it to the end.. Till next time Miss Nobody "Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!" fucking Truman show..
  6. @Outer wow I loooove this!! Thank you @Barna Thanks for your part in my journey Barna (L) @Nahm Thank you! love your posts @Viking It was the third time, the first I did 15mg snorting, second time 27mg snorting and third 15mg smoking, I found it easier smoking, the second time I tried was a little hellish to stay with the energy and not being able to breakthrough. @astrokeen I know it sounds airy fairy but ask the universe and will be given, that's what I did. @OBEler What was your psychedelic background? I've done Ayahuasca, LSD, Al-Lad, Mushrooms, Ketamine, regular DMT, MDMA, and 5Meo, before 5meo my most profound experience was 4g mushroom in August of last year, but given that I have a high tolerance wasn't so profound like 5meo, also for learning I found mushrooms to be the best, I'm a very creative person, like to draw, art and stuff, lsd kinds of feed my creativity and enables me to go deeper within myself. Did you have some insights you got from 5meo from other psychedelics before? No, 5meo is like from a different family than the other psychedelics. Were there also some insights wich you needed to correct after 5 meo? No, we are always learning, its like learning from different teachers, I had ego death before on mushrooms but I think 5meo although the ego dies 100% "I" was still there to "see/observe" everything, it was kind of clearer than my ego death on mushrooms, it was really my higher self observing the whole experience, while on mushrooms the ego kinds of go crazy, goes and comes back, what made me feel unable to really make sense of what was going on and see things for what they are, but that was just my experience, could be different for other people. I'm glad you liked it
  7. @kieranperez Wow I was just talking to a friend yesterday how Marin County is special, I used to live there and moved to Los Angeles, did you know Alan Watts had a Cabin in Mt Tamalpais? and Shugin used to live in Sausalito, the author of the book Mastery George Leonard lived around there too. Terrence Mckenna died there.. many people, such a beautiful place... I miss it.
  8. @brovakhiin Using Martin Ball words "he said it's bs when people say they had deeper experiences just because it was pure venom" he said actually the synthetic might be better cause its purer
  9. @Isaac Ben I had the same experience, I can take 6 tabs of LSD and still have my reality intact, of course I feel it but it's not like people describe it, but my last mushroom trip 4g was epic too, so I learned that I can learn much more with mushrooms, 5meo I tried twice, first 15mg and second 27mg snorting, I didnt breakthrough, are you snorting or smoking it?
  10. So, I've been having this "sensation" or "feeling" of highness, it's like Im lighter, higher, calmer, I dont know how to explain but its really strong when I feel it, for the past 18 months, sometimes it happens several times in the day and sometimes none. This week I went to a psychic and he told me I have mediumship, that this sensation I feel its like a battery being charged within me, and that I can use it in my life or to help others, my aunt back in Brazil is a shaman and she also has mediumship, she used to received messages from the dead, In brazil we have something called Spiritism, it's like a religion and below is the definition. In What Is Spiritism?, Kardec calls spiritism a science dedicated to the relationship between incorporeal beings (spirits) and human beings. Thus, some spiritists see themselves as not adhering to a religion, but to a philosophical doctrine with a scientific fulcrum and moral grounds. Also the definition of Mediumship Mediumship is the practice of certain people—known as mediums—to purportedly mediate communication between spirits of the dead and living human beings. There are different types of mediumship, including spirit channeling and ouija. He said when I feel the sensation is when the spirit guides are around me, and I've noticed that whenever someone around me is overloaded with emotions, is going through something really difficult I feel high, for example two days ago at work, I started feeling high, and it was really strong, I was just paying attention, 10 seconds after I realized my coworker who seats by my side was on a call receiving the message that her uncle just had died. I currently work as an architect, I like to draw and be creative so since child my family (that was mostly thinking about money) put in my mind that I would be a good architect, but it happens that architecture doesnt feed my soul, I'm really interested about the human mind and spirituality in general, and in the last two years had studieda lot about it. I asked the psychic about my career and his answer was: "Why do you ask me something you already know?" and I started crying for no reason, so my guess would be that in the future I will be working with this mediumship, and I'm here to ask for help to which path to follow, my options this moment are Spiritism or Wicca, my aunt and sister are Spiritists, but what I dont like about it is that they follow the work of Alan Kardec, which is based in the story of Christ, I try to avoid religions to keep my mind open, I prefer to think about the universe in other way than through the history of Christ, Wicca for me sounds more plausible because I feel like they go straight to the point, when they talk about the universe being a web where we are all connected, when talking about how the 5 elements water fire earth air spirit, It's much easier for me to understand. Also I dont know if this interest for Wicca could be something that my ego has been wanting, like wow look I'm a witch, I know sounds funny but I'm considering all the possibilities here.. I am open to hear what you guys think. Thank you, thank you, thank you
  11. @Barna@JustinS @Gabriel Antonio @Dizzy halp guys
  12. @SelfHelpGuy I think the idea behind an open relationship is give the other person unconditional love, that's where you know if you really love her/him, cause if someone else makes her/him happy, in your case, another guys, who are you to tell her that that happiness is not allowed? Also to get rid of the attachment thing, an open relationship is based on love, while most of the "closed" relationships is based on fear, fear of losing, so yes an open relationship is a good exercise for the ego, for practicing dettachment, also I've realized in the relationship I self fed myself, I needed to give myself love (what makes total sense) I was not depending on someone to give it to me, and this made me grow a lot! ike Elisabeth said I think its a pretty new relationship, and I agree on the sexual partner thing, Im the woman and my partner seems to be less interested in the sex part, more interested in the connection with others etc, while me I think I'm interested in both, I've been in an open relationship for a while, the last 5 months we tried to close the relationship and we ended up breaking up, very interesting how this thing work, after you experience it, its hard to go back to the old mind of closed relationships, I thought the most challenge part would be thinking about him fucking others but deep inside my biggest fear is that he connects with someone else in a soul level, or he finds a girl that makes him laugh etc.. very silly. I actually commented on the post to listen to what you guys have to say about open relationships, how the experience had helped you guys in your journey? What are the pros and cons? Or just your opinion in general about the subject @Elisabeth @Paulus Amadeus Thanks!!
  13. @Joseph Maynor I talked to Martin Ball about my high tolerance with psychedelics and he recommended me Salvia Divinorum, he said it will break me up, I’ve only worked with lsd mushrooms and 5meo, how much should I do initially?
  14. If you could recommend me one author I have your book list Joe dispenza focus on reprogramming the subconscious mind, I know he is a business guy but at least he has meditations, workshops and this stuff available, which makes it easier to apply in my daily life and to be consistent
  15. I know meditation is the best way but I would like to know another practices that help with opening the heart chakra, Im a right brain but sometimes I get caught in the crazy spiral of my mind, and when Im in my heart I feel much better, patient with life, crying for all little things and grateful. When I'm in my mind, things are PRETTY different.. That's my theory about how I've been functioning, I can be wrong so Im also open to ideas and opinions Thank you and have a great Fridaaaay
  16. @Deep @starsofclay @Quanty That was really helful, thank you!!
  17. In the end of his life yes, I also read in a book that he used to be upside down until loses consciousness to have his “visions” and although he said “I don’t do drugs I’m drugs” I’m not sure he explored psychedelics a lot and I don’t think it was the main source of his inspiration, but it could be, who knows? Maybe I just like the romantic part of it all and he was indeed a passionate person. “Dali would sit in a chair holding the spoon above the plate and doze off. As he fell asleep, the spoon would drop onto the plate, making a noise that woke him in time to jot down the surreal images he saw in his dreams. Other times, Dali would stand on his head until he almost passed out, allowing him to become semi-lucid.” That’s from the internet
  18. @okulele Salvador Dali used to say his inspiration was from sexual energy and his wife. My inspiration for my art I can say the same, from sexual energy mostly, what Napoleon Hill says makes total sense to me, if learned how to transmute this energy it can be used for art, for motivation etc That’s one of his quotes “It may be controversial contention, but sexual energy is the creative energy of virtually all geniuses. There never has been and never will be a great leader, builder, or artist lacking in this driving force of sex. Destroy the sex glands; whether in a human being or a beast, and you have removed a major source of action.” Our bodies are here basically for reproduction, life force/ sexual energy is what keep us moving, and if used well can help us a lot Such an interesting subject