Psychonaut

I don't have a problem living in a psych ward.

Hello, This is a continuation of I have continued analyzing the incident and came to the conclusion that they used psychological warfare to break my will. Meaning that they used external stress to break my will. That didn't work and I used psychological force in retaliation as self defense. I have also started analyzing their classification and come to the conclusion that they misclassified me twice. According to ICD-10 I should have been classified as F69 or F99. Unfortunately they first classified me as F25, then F30.2 which are both incorrect. I would accept F30.1 but my actual classification is F69. That is a problem for them because they used force when they were legally not allowed to. Article 1 of the german law states GG = Grundgesetz says "Die Würde des Menschen ist unantastbar" =ChatGPT tranlation=> "Human dignity shall be inviolable. To respect and protect it shall be the duty of all state authority." § 278 Ausstellen unrichtiger Gesundheitszeugnisse. (1) Wer zur Täuschung im Rechtsverkehr als Arzt oder andere approbierte Medizinalperson ein unrichtiges Zeugnis über den Gesundheitszustand eines Menschen ausstellt, wird mit Freiheitsstrafe bis zu zwei Jahren oder mit Geldstrafe bestraft." =ChatGPT translation=> ""§ 278 Issuing False Health Certificates. (1) Whoever, to deceive in legal transactions, as a physician or other licensed medical professional, issues a false certificate regarding the health status of an individual shall be punished with imprisonment for up to two years or with a fine." Now I am not sure what to do tbh. I know that I am in the right, because I used the *tool* "Bottom up analysis" together with the *tool* "Finite State Machine" to fight back. I prevented them from entering my safe space, by making them believe that I would hurt them. I was just protecting them from me, because I am a strong male, with a background in Muay Thai and the ability to use my environment to my advantage. I used the features of the room as a weapon against them. There are undocumented features in the room, that are safety features for SD-YELLOW people so that they can break out of the room, even if the SD-BLUE system has become completely SICK. I consciously used these features against them. I am really stunned at the power of the Spiral Dynamics System. SD-BEIGE is extremely dangerous and usually either leads to suicide or mass murder. I prevented harm to myself and others by using logic in its purest form. I am really scared of becoming a killing machine. I want to get back into Muay Thai, but that knowledge can be used to incapacitate a human being within 1-5 seconds. That would allow me to run away. I know that I cannot have knives on me in SD-BEIGE. I need to prevent SD-BEIGE at all costs. I am thinking of using an Apple Watch Ultra as a safety measure, so I atleast can make an emergency call to the police via the watch.

I find that the clash between SD-BLUE and SD-YELLOW can lead to major misunderstandings and from my unqualified understanding that was the main reason why I landed in the psychiatric ward: You can't talk to SD-BLUE when you are in pure SD-YELLOW. It feels like you are talking to a computer program. You can't tell the program that it is a program, because then it is "insulted", because the program is not a program, but it is attached to a human being, that believes its programming has value. From pure yellow the programs that the blue person is running are worthless. I am having big trouble communicating with people when I am in pure SD-YELLOW. Not sure if anyone else is experiencing this?

How would you classify South Africa both in terms of SD levels and 1st/2nd/3rd world countries?

Yes they did.

Hello guys, I landed in a closed psychiatric ward. My girlfriend drove me there, she is an anaesthetist. I am just a highly creative human though and I still am in the ward at this stage. Somehow she thought that was a good idea... Just a quick note to anyone here: Try to avoid going to a psychiatric clinic as a patient at all costs. They will help you, but not in the way that you wish them to. They tortured me for 5 days in a cell for heavy drug users. I just don't take drugs like that. I have a complete blackout, I just remember the state of the room and that my dad came to visit me and I told him that I loved him. Everything else is a blur. I still managed to learn a lot about the lower levels of spiral dynamics thinking. Doctors and staff are stage BLUE They fear stage RED, even just knowledge about how the system works, abilities to get stuff like cigarettes is power here. Stage purple is helpful for bonding with other "inmates". A closed ward is basically a prison, you have to build trust with the staff and inmates first. They got me down to Stage BEIGE thinking in their shitty cell, but my instinct to survive was too strong. Overall this was a very enlightening experience for me, mainly for the lower levels of spiral dynamics. Don't try it yourself though!

What is really evil, is that my business partner called my girlfriend and she told him that I was in psychiatry and a bunch of lies about me. Now he believes I am a risk to the startup we were building and he reduced my shares in the company.

It is a blur to me. I didn't want to go to a closed ward and I honestly thought that it would just be a visit and that they might be able to help me. I didn't know how different psychiatry is from psychotherapy. I went in there a bit naive and the entire setting made it much worse. I have finally been discharged, but I feel very empty at times, like nothing makes sense anymore. I feel like I have been deeply traumatised, especially as I was able to relate to the people in the ward and tried to help them. Now I am here and just wondering how I am supposed to rebuild myself. It is as if the energy has been sucked out of me.

I was somewhat psychotic, but instead of supporting me and maybe just asking some questions she just took me to the psych ward.

She is now my ex girlfriend. She is moving out of my flat tomorrow and I will never see or talk to her again.

Yep. They actually ended up torturing me for 5 days in a closed cell from hell. Literally a room with a stainless steel toilet and a bed that was designed to pull heat from my body. They took everything from me, including my watch so I completely lost track of time, didn't eat anything and barely drank any water. It was quite the experience. To top it off I got a letter from the judge that I have "god complexes" and exhibit "religious compulsions". In my eyes they beat me down to stage BEIGE, but I didn't break and I never was openly aggressive to the staff, so their hands were tied. 2000 people died during 1933-1945 in this facility when the Nazis were doing tests on the patients. Nothing has changed since then, the room is the same... Would not recommend anyone Stage YELLOW or above to go to a psych ward. We are far too kind and nice to these people that don't even understand their own system.

I have noticed that music is ever present for me. Especially in hard times, when I am very happy or very sad, when I am tripping and when I am sharing a moment in time with friends. It might sound cringe, but to me music is a universal language, that can evoke emotions in humans, no matter the culture, language, gender or other factor that can be used to divide up humans. The place that a certain type of music takes me to is similar for me and I believe it takes others in the same direction. The hard part is letting go and letting the music do its thing. Music is one of the few things that I can fully let myself go in and blank out everyone around me. When I let go, my body dances and I let it do its thing and don't care about anyone judging me. It is truly beautiful. I am getting a bit concerned to how dependent I am on music for emotional stability and I feel like I am having trouble letting go of it.

It is interesting how everyone reacts so differently to psychedelics. I personally never felt the urge to masturbate on molly or have sex. I just felt an overwhelming love for myself and didn't need any additional loving. Weed on the other hand can make me horny AF. Acid is nice too.

I have jerked off on 5-MeO-DMT many times. I enjoyed it a lot, but its hard to come and my heart rate got critically high when I did. Maybe it just felt really intense and I just imagined that my heart was about to explode out of my chest.... Sex I think would be too "complicated" and risky. It could go very badly if your partner does something you don't like or is not compliant.

We have a family friend in South Africa who has a 7 year old autistic child called Tristan. If you know anything about South Africa or Africa in general, you will know that these countries are pure survival of the fittest and the weak have no chance. The weak get robbed or killed with no regard for their life and their weakness gets taken advantage of. Being able to not rob a weak person is a luxury that hungry and desperate people living in pure survival mode do not have. I don't want to trash South Africa too much - I love the country - but I am trying to paint a picture for the people that have no idea what living in Africa feels like. It is harsh and I am thankful every day that I was born in Germany. Tristan has caretakers that take care of him at my friends house and he doesn't leave it very often or at all. He is non-verbal, wears diapers, the doctors have given up on behavioral therapy, music therapy and all the therapies that are usually done are not available. A proper multi-modal therapy like in the west is not possible, drugs are given, but effects cannot be monitored by EEG. It takes months to "evaluate" if the drug helped or not - as the doctors are just "randomly" trying stuff. This is a country if you are sick you are dead and I have had two family members that died 10-20 years earlier just because they lived in SA. I don't want another case. I have been raking my brain trying to think of ways to help Tristan get out of this situation and get him the care he requires. So far I have read half of the "A Symphony in the brain" book that is on Leo's booklist and my friend has actually reached out to a Neurofeedback practitioner nearby. The more I think about it, the more I feel like Tristan needs to get out of the country and into a country in Europe. But my friend doesn't have enough money and the currency is so weak that only very rich people can emigrate. The rest is stuck there for their entire life with no hope of anything getting any better.

Never forget the good old days of GPT4 with web access. It was glorious but so short lived.

Probably. I prefer masturbating to porn over having sex with my girlfriend.

@digitalkaine Good stuff! Keep soldiering on :-)

I am sorry if I was not clear. What I meant was the difference between the level of consciousness of an animal and the level of consciousness that a human can reach. That will most likely be the minimum difference between us as humans and aliens. There might as well be thousands, hundreds of thousands or even millions of years of difference in consciousness. I don't even know how much humans can be "upgraded". Some systems can't be upgraded, but need to be built new from scratch.

I feel like aliens would see our level of consciousness like we see the consciousness of animals and be as worried that we will be able to understand their technology as we are about a lion learning to use an AK47. Maybe we can learn something, but imo it would be best to go die and hope to be reborn as an alien, lol.

This is a very interesting video to watch.

I scrolled through the book a bit and it seems like Kriya Yoga gets really complicated after some time. Seems like a classic case of heavy over-engineering that it would require a big time and energy investment. Not sure if maybe something simpler might get the majority of the results or just psychedelics.

Why you need both editions?

I pretty much only enjoy high quality stuff with a really nice setting, beautiful people and an artsy overall feel. Sex and masturbation is like fireworks in the brain. I have found that I can use masturbation / sex as a very powerful motivator. So after a good day of work it can be a very strong reward and empowering. And if I am not done yet, then I have to just continue working hehe. When I feel like I have deserved it, it feels really good. It goes the other way for me too, so when I am depressed I use it as a way to make me feel better and it pulls me down further and further. It feels a little bit like playing with fire.

I was into Kriya Yoga a few years ago and completely forget about it.... So just get "Kriya Secrets Revealed" and start fresh?